Porn is actually the best way for men to learn to have sex with women

wtknight · 2022-09-16T18:47:44+00:00

Removed due to OP abandonment.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-16T11:07:10+00:00

Porn caters to male fantasies, it doesn't matter what actually works or what women actually like. If you want a video, I'd recommend looking for (female) sex educators instead. I'd also recommend actually asking your partner what they want.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-09-16T11:11:04+00:00

Or you could ask? And ask for clear instructions you know like adults do. Listen to her body language and ensure she’s comfortable enough to start engaging in communication about private sex.

chingness · 2022-09-16T11:01:40+00:00

Absolutely. Not.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-09-16T10:44:21+00:00

I think it would be better if society in general was less hush hush about female anatomy and sexuality and included things like stimulation of the clitoris in sex ed and pop culture instead of just being all dick centred.

KirthWGersen · 2022-09-16T11:14:31+00:00

There is very little in porn that can help you improve your sexual skills. It is performative and designed for the viewer not for the pleasure of the participants.

Porn can be fun, and stimulating, but great sex tends to look boring in porn.

medlabunicorn · 2022-09-16T11:42:41+00:00

FUCK NO. Trying to emulate porn makes men HORRIBLE at sex. The women in porn are actresses, whose job is to convince you that they are enjoying what is actually, usually, uncomfortable to downright painful and/or degrading. Even the actors aren’t actually enjoying themselves as much as it might appear.

https://cafemom.com/lifestyle/107777-5_ways_porn_makes_men

https://porsiempre31.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/an-open-letter-from-an-ex-porn-star/

https://www.vocativ.com/286135/caverject-penis-injury/index.html

https://www.pornographyfaq.com/why-do-male-pornography-performers-use-erectile-dysfunction-medication/

https://www.salon.com/2014/01/06/10_ways_porn_perpetuates_myths_about_men_partner/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/naomi-wolf-porn_n_4428180

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201401/is-male-porn-use-ruining-sex

https://womanlylive.com/why-porn-makes-men-bad-lovers/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334723558_The_Effects_of_Pornography_on_Adult_Males'_Relationships

https://relevantmagazine.com/life5/relationships/5-ways-porn-ruins-relationships/

EndHlts · 2022-09-16T13:11:45+00:00

This is a ridiculous take even for this subreddit.

Porn is about as realistic in regards to sex as Robocop is to police work.

KekeSmall · 2022-09-16T10:45:21+00:00

No. You’re absolutely incorrect

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2022-09-16T11:00:04+00:00

Not todays porn. Todays porn is all performance acrobatics and quite honestly really abusive. You won't learn to eat pussy watching Blacked. Trust me, I thought I'd learned to have sex from porn and it took me a while to realize how bad I was at it. If you want to learn from it, watch 70s porn, because back them men actually had interest in getting women off instead of pounding their cervix to pulp for the cameras.

But better yet, pick up a sex book hat explains this stuff better. And even better yet, practice with as many partners as you can always asking for guidance on what they want, how they want it, at what speed, angle, intensity. The reality is every woman is different. On one you can blow at her clit and she will squirm because she's so sensitive. Another, you will need a belt sander down to there to get any kind of reaction.

2022-09-16T11:19:38+00:00

Most lesbian porn is made to appeal to men and does not reflect lesbian sexual lives, let alone what straight women want with men. And like all porn, it is by nature designed first to look good on camera, not to be what the participants want.

I can tell you that I have seen very, very little, if any, porn that reflects my sexuality.

The best way for men to learn how to please women is to actually communicate about sex with the woman they are sleeping with and pay attention to her responses. It’s not that hard.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-09-16T13:08:03+00:00

I take it you are a guy.

Therefore I don't know why you have the audacity to think you can speak for women.

How they do it in porn is NOT how you have sex with a woman.

They nearly always leave out foreplay and act like women like things that most of us don't.

If you want to know how to MAKE LOVE to a woman you ASK her to teach you. But that is the point where most of you fail. You don't take direction because at the end of the day most men don't care if she enjoys it or not.

kokorwqac · 2022-09-16T10:41:30+00:00

Porn usually used paid actors to cater to men, even many of the ''lesbian' ' porn features women that aren't lesbian or bisexual in reality. it would probably be better to watch media made by women for general female gaze

FightMeCthullu · 2022-09-16T11:09:09+00:00

I dunno my guy, any time I had porn techniques tried on me I hated it.

Having men force my head further down their dick so they could face fuck me? Not fun. Also they never asked if they could do doubly unfun.

Having my vagina like, gnawed at and three fingers shoved up there straight away? Unfun.

Being jackhammered with no external stimulation? Unfun.

Being CHOKED when it had never been brought up before? Holy fuck unfun.

Like, porn might show you things you didn’t know you liked but it doesn’t show you how to do them healthily. How to talk about kinks and introduce them safely. People try out porn shit not realising the actors and actresses have done it before and know their limits and boundaries and then they’re surprised when the other person has a shit time.

It can introduce you to ideas but it can’t teach you anything really

EDT: I realise this is about lesbian porn. But lesbian porn has a lot of similar tropes when it’s lesbian porn made for men.

I’ve seen mainstream lesbian porn and lesbian porn clearly made by people who’ve had lesbian sex.Unless you know the porn has been made by a queer friendly studio who cares about consent and shows real sex in a real way….you’re just getting men showing you how they think girls fuck.

Which is similar to how they think men and women fuck.

Razumnyy · 2022-09-16T10:40:23+00:00

A lot of lesbian porn will also be performative, doing what looks best for the camera rather than what feels good.

2022-09-16T10:46:35+00:00

Hooboy.

No.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2022-09-16T11:20:46+00:00

Jesus Christ, no.

andyt90 · 2022-09-16T13:27:44+00:00

As a man who used to think in a similar way. Just no. I never had complaints from ex's from the things I did during sex that were largely based off porn in my late teenage/early 20s relationships, that however does not mean what I was doing was correct. This has only been proven now that I'm in my 30s and with a partner who converses and explains to me what she likes and what she doesn't like. We experiment with positions, toys etc. You learn the same way you do with anything in life. Experience. There are plenty of videos (not porn) you can learn from. They majorly come from women sex therapists or hell even just women explaining their preferences. No two people are the same, however you can definitely learn a thing or two by listening to multiple women. The info is out there but it certainly isn't in porn.

badsign12 · 2022-09-16T16:18:19+00:00

And watching NASCAR is the best way to learn to drive.

Steakman1 · 2022-09-16T10:35:18+00:00

I mean I guess you could specifically look up “how to” videos or something. But watching women get jackhammered while they fake moan and fake orgasm is going to do the opposite of teach men to have sex. With your specific example of men learning they need to do oral, you can very easily find a post asking women what they want men to do where 90% of the answers say foreplay.

And are men specifically looking up the porn videos that do try to teach guys something? I don’t think the “what are you doing stepbro” videos are made for that purpose. Saying that there’s some porn videos out there that could help men be better at sex doesn’t justify porn use in general. Those types of videos are very niche and aren’t what’s getting clicked on. Go to pornhub and I guarantee basically all the videos on the front page are going to be some sort of step mom, step sis, step bro, or BBC type videos. Not “how to eat pussy.” Waaaay more videos give men a bad perception of sex than help them. So if a guy is inexperienced and looks up porn to try to get better, it’s much more likely he’ll find a video that steers him in the wrong direction.

PronKing10 · 2022-09-16T11:18:29+00:00

Oh boy, nope. Everyone is different. Porn is very exaggerated like theatre. Mayyybe some amateur porn videos and how to's could help get you started but don't use porn as a template of what you think you should be doing

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-09-16T11:45:30+00:00

Porn is definitely not the best way. Far from it. In most videos, i’d hate to be the woman.

medlabunicorn · 2022-09-16T11:56:54+00:00

Christ, I am so grateful that my husband didn’t do this.

Another reason to go for Asian men, girlfriends: not a lot of Asian dudes in porn, so they actually learn from having sex with real women (N = 1, so YMMV).

Rufus_Reddit · 2022-09-16T12:48:19+00:00

Do you think that action movies are the best way for people to learn how to fight? How about movies about racing and learning how to drive race cars? Movies about computer hacking and learning how to program? Iron Chef and learning how to cook?

Entertainment programming and educational programming are different things.

People who are in the porn business are trying to sell porn or advertising, they're not trying to show people how to have satisfying sex. Porn is a product made to have appealing visuals and sound. It's going to be louder and brighter and positions are going to be set up to be visually interesting instead of feel good.

At the same time, there's not much incentive for porn to cover things like communication, common sensitivities and issues, or aftercare.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-09-16T13:27:11+00:00

tell me you haven’t fucked a woman without telling me

Bro, any dude who started getting some will have already tried something they saw on porn and gotten either the “what are you doing??” From his partner or been like “oh, that doesn’t feel comfortable, I guess it just looks good on camera”

Stop telling on yourself.

CallMeJessIGuess · 2022-09-16T13:28:42+00:00

Holy shit this is SUCH a bad take. Porn (yes even lesbian porn) is explicitly catered to men and what men want to see.

There’s literally a sun explicitly for women to post lesbian porn that’s appealing to women because the main s as in for it is filled with men posting things they are absolutely not erotic to most women.

OP you’re also unwittingly outing yourself. Your are basically admitting you have poor combination skill with your sexual partners and done create an environment where they are comfortable openly telling you what they like and show you how to do it.

Ramzabeo · 2022-09-16T11:07:16+00:00

I think the best way is talking to your partner, not every girl likes the same thing, for example i once had a girlfriend that hated having oral sex done on her, had a girl who only got off to being on top, had one who loved giving oral, had some that dont etc.

I think talking to your partner is essencial here

Edit - tho tbh i learned the most from a bi girl i hooked up with a few times, she taught me some stuff that was game changing so who knows tbh xd

2022-09-16T11:45:10+00:00

If they specifically look at 'how to' videos and not regular porn, then sure.

Regular girl on girl porn is made to look good to male viewers (a lot of lesbians think it's shit fyi).

ComebackDaddy · 2022-09-16T12:16:33+00:00

Men focus too much on physical technique instead of emotional/psychological technique which is what is needed for a women to have the most thrilling orgasms.

From my experience you need to do very little physically provided you are 100% present and also stimulating her psychology/emotions in relation to sex.

Don’t know what I am talking about?

Read some erotica or female romance novels.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-09-16T13:26:48+00:00

Or talk to the woman you have sex with 🤦‍♀️

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-16T14:18:20+00:00

It’s intended for the male gaze and is not focused on the acts of sex. Seeing a zoomed in vagina does not help men to learn how to have sex.

yayayubsea · 2022-09-16T14:52:51+00:00

Oh my god that’s it there’s is officially no hope for humanity

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-09-16T15:19:45+00:00

Lol. Having sex with women and paying attention is the best way to learn to have sex with women.

As a man who's been in porns, here's a couple tidbits that aren't obvious to the observer:

There's way more in and out and at wierd angles in order to open things up to the camera.

Tongue action is entirely superficial, and once again usually at angles that open it up to the camera while simultaneously making it impossible to do in a real pleasurable manner.

I mean it's almost unrelated to real sex, for a million other reasons.

I will say one thing positive most people don't realize. There are a lot of women in it that are sometimes genuinely turned on by having an audience. I've seen women laying there nervous, just starting a scene , legs spread being directed by one guy, cameraguy down there, several other people around and before she even gets to the point of touching herself she literally starts dripping. ( Ahhh , beaver tears, the stuff that dreams are made of )

For the most part they're terrible at acting, so some of the ones who actually seem to be enjoying it really are, just not for any other reason than having all the attention on them.

gastongang · 2022-09-16T15:56:19+00:00

lmao no

2022-09-16T12:08:02+00:00

You realize that even lesbian porn is staged, right? They're focusing on what will get the viewers off, not each other.

There is good instructional porn that is linked to in the /r/sex wiki, but it's a very niche category. And unless you're watching those specific videos, you're just picking up bad habits.

2022-09-16T13:24:29+00:00

There are literally tutorial videos but no, generally porn is terrible for this purpose

KayRay1994 · 2022-09-16T13:39:12+00:00

given that porn, lesbian porn in particular is designed to appeal to the male gaze i have to say that this is a god awful take

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-16T13:39:29+00:00

Porn can sometimes men unrealistic expectations and ideas about sex and what women want though. No, I don’t want a 12 inch dildo shoved up my ass thank you very much.

CoC2018 · 2022-09-16T14:03:44+00:00

It’s all in the hips simple as

friendly_deviant · 2022-09-16T15:09:59+00:00

And women learn what men want by watching 50 shades of grey

2022-09-16T17:05:47+00:00

porn is created to get viewers off, not to be educational. Additionally it is created to get MEN off. It will not teach you how to please women. It will teach you what men think is hot.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-16T17:23:52+00:00

Lol, please do try that, and then report back

risdeveau · 2022-09-16T17:25:53+00:00

Lesbian porn is still porn, and still directed at men. But please, do try using the moves there on real women. I would love to know what happens

LanaraLore · 2022-09-16T18:02:46+00:00

No. It absolutely isn't. Really. Please don't.

tharkyllinus · 2022-09-16T10:53:31+00:00

Yeah you gotta pull her hair and slap her ass while long dicking her in her poop shoot. :)

Ludens0 · 2022-09-16T13:38:54+00:00

Honestly the anti-porn stuff have just 1 explanation.

Reddit is biased to the USA, the country that is the most puritan and the most port producer in the world.

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darkvalleys · 2022-09-16T14:37:59+00:00

A lot of stuff is shown in porn. Half of it is likely to piss any given woman off, which is precisely why I can’t watch it without getting annoyed

Caveat emptor

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-09-16T15:45:25+00:00

right but you have to already know not to watch straight porn otherwise this will really backfire badly.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-09-16T16:56:59+00:00

The uninitiated can not discern fantasy and reality. So the absolute minimum should be not to take what you see in porn at face value. There is enough educational literature and videos out there that there is no need to take info from what is basically entertainment.

FineDevelopment00 · 2022-09-16T17:09:52+00:00

You have got to be kidding me.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-09-16T17:11:30+00:00

You could learn a lot from SOME erotica/porn, but you would have to be very discriminating. But if you don't know anything, how would you be able to know which porn is most accurate? Kind of a catch 22.

Title	Porn is actually the best way for men to learn to have sex with women
Author	lostacoshermanos
Upvotes	0
Comments	148
Date	September 16, 2022 10:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xfne9t/porn_is_actually_the_best_way_for_men_to_learn_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/porn-is-actually-the-best-way-for-men-to-learn-to.1132817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132817

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