Hey fellow brothers,

Figured I'd share my story on here for your reading pleasure. Feel free to drop a comment. So....I'm in my late 30s and was married to (what I assumed to be....) my soul mate for 7 years. We've been together for 15. We have had an amazing marriage and an amazing life aside from the usual financial burdens of homeownership etc etc. We never had kids, went out all the time, and were always laughing and goofing around, the pinnacle of a perfect relationship compared to most people we knew. We we're perceived as inseparable and an absolutely perfect couple that most people would idolize and aspire to attain one day. That "true love" type of relationship.

What happened dude? You may ask......

Well......

Over the last 2 years my ex has gotten hardcore into fitness and I couldn't help but notice that, 1. Yeah she's losing weight and getting fit but, 2. She also has a lot less free time and after a while our sex life went down to zero. We we're both busy working and going out, her exercising so I would always want to bang on the weekends. After a while she was unhappy at the lack of spontaneity in our relationship and said our sex was forced. Um, ok..... and that was one problem.....

We own a house together and over the last few years had to replace things and fix things which was somewhat of a financial burden. But thats why you work right, to save money for shit and for life's problems. It wasn't running us broke by any means but it was a lot. To complicate things her car (which she just randomly bought one day, cause she felt she deserved a sports car) was an older model car that was a heavy financial burden to her and cost her from significant repairs that needed done after she owned it for a couple years. So I felt bad for her, but wished she would have talked to me first before making a knee jerk Reaction to take out a $16k loan for a 7 year old "sports car" shes now stuck with.

Moving on....our house was older and we've been having issues with water damage and the roof for several years. I made the judgement call to get a new roof. I had the money saved, paid for it upfront and told her to just pay me back whenever cause I knew she was in the shit with her car and other obligations.

This is when it all started going downhill. After we got the new roof something seriously snapped in her head. She went from being a wonderful wife and friend to becoming a melancholy withdrawn person, all of a sudden despising our house and the life we built together.

We were at the bar one night with a friend and after the friend left, we were both drunk, and she decided to tell me how incredibly unhappy she was in her life. She mentioned that she wasn't the same person she used to be and that she sees things differently now. All of a sudden she wanted to focus only on herself and be alone. She was tied of cooking , cleaning, worrying about me, worrying about her family, worrying about the house, worrying about the pets and just simply wanted to be alone in life for a while. I was taken back. "Do you want to divorce me?" I said with a wave of anxiety and my stomach in knots. She said no. She still loved me very much but she needed to get away from everyone.

(Background- I did help out a lot with house chores , she did cook but I also did do a lot too, it wasn't just all her)

She told me about LAT- living apart together where, to reinvigorate a marriage couples live apart so they don't have to see each other every day. When they do see each other, the time is way better cause you miss each other.

So, she decided to move out and rent an expensive townhouse that she really didn't have the money for. (Later i found out she put all the expenses of her new townhouse on her credit card, furniture, first deposit, groceries, other expenses.....was like $4000 when it was all said and done. She moved some stuff out of our house for her new apartment (which, I helped her move....) and got settled in. We hung out about twice a week after that, going out like we normally do, and still hugged, kissed, and said I love you. Also talked on the phone and texted etc etc.

We had a vacation planned for a year before any of this happened and decided to continue with the vacation cause why not. It was perfect. We did outdoor activities , went out for drinks. Etc. It was a lot of fun.

After vacation is when she laid the hammer down, over the phone the Monday after we got back. She mentioned that she thought the vacation would put a spark back into our love life , which it didn't and she felt that we were just on a friend level. She said she wanted to divorce. At first I was level headed, calm, and contained and had a very logical conversation with her. She mentioned that she didn't want to be married anymore to me, and she despised our house and also despised the city that she's lived in for 20 years. She mentioned that she believes she's having a mid life crisis and that she doesn't want to be held down by anyone or anything and mentioned she wants to fulfill her life dream of moving to a western city, against all caution that I've told her over the years when she brought it up. We had a long talk and then ended the call. She was very nice to me, said it wasn't about me, it was about her and I understood. We made a commitment to always remain friends and be there for each other.

I hung up the phone and went about my night watching YouTube and drinking some beers. At one point, I broke down after realizing what just happened. I had severe anxiety and started crying uncontrollably. The love of my life is leaving me and moving away. I can't believe this is happening. Why? I've been such a wonderful husband to her. Our life wasn't perfect but who's is? I had to call her back. She answered as I cried uncontrollably, admitting how devastated I was and emotionally upset. She was crying as well, but only because she felt bad she hurt me. She mentioned that she felt horrible because she hurt me. We talked for another 45 minutes and I asked her if there was anything I could do to save the marriage. She mentioned and reiterated how she hates her current life and needs a complete change and there's nothing I could do.

-The luckiest guy in the world: So not only we're we in love we were also best friends. She mentioned that she didn't want to hurt me anymore and wasn't going after any of my finances. None. She simply just wants to sell the house and split the profits. I couldn't be more happy. I've worked for 14 long years to build a 6 figure 401k which is extremely important to me plus my 5 figure savings. I'm very financially responsible. If she went after half my $ I would be completely crushed. I feel so bad for you fellow brothers who had their ex or future ex go after half of everything you worked so hard for. On top of her leaving you I couldn't even fathom the emotional toll......I'm so sorry for your loss, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to go through that.

Its been 2 months now that I've pretty much been on my own, cooking and cleaning for myself and taking care of the house and pets. Every morning I wake up alone and every night I go to bed alone. What I can say is that I'm starting to feel better. I decided to start exercising more and watching what I eat. It helps! Exercise at the gym fills in the "alone time" and helps blow off some of that anxiety. Its great. For about 6 weeks I had no appetite and only ate cause I knew I had to eat. My life was very gray but the sunlight is starting to shine through. I'm thinking a lot about myself and my own future, staying in the city I love and potentially finding another great girl some day when the time is right.

We officially filed for divorce last week. She started a Tinder profile and already got 300+ likes and every guy she liked is an instant like back and match. Shes going out on dinner dates leeching guys for steaks which I find hilarious. We still have a good friendship and agreed to stop saying I love you and calling each other our old cutsie names. I've been staying busy going to the gym and going to my favorite bars alone on the weekends, always finding someone to talk to and getting social interaction.

I started a Tinder and bros, you know how that goes- I'm just one guy in a sea of other men looking for a beautiful woman to date and get to know. No one has liked my profile or matched at all but thats to be expected. Attractive women get bombarded on there and quite honestly I'm in no rush to get in a relationship. If it happens it happens. If not, I'm optimistic about the future.

We have to stay positive and take care of ourselves during these transitions. We are the #1 person we can rely on. I hope you guys enjoyed my story. Again, feel free to comment.

We still talk on the phone and text, also laugh, as good friends do. I feel so lucky.