Sex is the most important aspect of a relationship.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2023-02-18T23:29:46+00:00

No its not…Its AN important part, but not THE most important part. Believing sex is THE most important part of a relationship is why most relationships go up in flames. Because theres nothing to hold two individuals together who probably shouldn’t be together but sex.

Thinking that sex is what gets you through tough times, fights, and hardships is ridiculously juvenile.

PonderingPeaches · 2023-02-18T23:49:22+00:00

It’s not. A relationship based of sex doesn’t last and isn’t fulfilling.. therefore.. sex isn’t the most important aspect.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-02-18T23:24:18+00:00

False.

It's important and sexual chemistry and compatibility is really important. But I think the most important thing in a relationship is how much you actually like the other person. Like if you're absolutely head over heels for them if you don't have sex because they have a stomach flu and scared they may shit the bed it's not a big deal you want them to get better sex can wait getting them to 100% matters more. If you have a baby and can't have sex for like a month and a half it shouldn't matter because she just birthed your baby. It's that general affection and tenderness towards your partner. And maintaining that tenderness and kindness toward each other that's the most important aspect.

CimZim · 2023-02-18T23:57:45+00:00

Sex doesn't keep a relationship together, love does.

However, sex is a thermometer for the relationship as a whole.

EulenWatcher · 2023-02-18T23:45:51+00:00

What about during illness or a drop of libido due to pregnancy/being postpartum/physical or mental illness? If the sex is the aim glue for your relationship, you will separate the moment you stop having sex even if it could be fairly temporary.

I’d put more emphasis on compatibility and loyalty.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-02-18T23:21:26+00:00

there are going to be times when you're not having much sex, esp after wife gives birth, is breastfeeding etc, kids are tiny. People get sick and injured. Libidos fluctuate. What's going to take you thru those times?

InfamousBake1859 · 2023-02-19T00:47:26+00:00

No. Hard no. Sex is definitely not even on the top 3 priority for him

Decent-Zombie-5513 · 2023-02-18T23:17:34+00:00

It is the only thing you dont get from any other sort of long term relationship.

wtknight · 2023-02-19T00:14:00+00:00

I think that being able to be friends is the most important thing. Most people tend to start wanting sexual variety unless they are very close friends with their partner and can't imagine the idea of leaving him or her to have sex with another person.

therealcosmicnebula · 2023-02-18T23:29:57+00:00

This makes zero sense.

In end, people are social creatures who want companionship more than anything else.

Safinated · 2023-02-18T23:11:34+00:00

Even when they’re older? I’ve seen plenty of infirm men or men with infirm partners. Are they still fucking, somehow, or are they not in a legitimate relationship?

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-02-18T23:32:53+00:00

It's very important, it's not the most important. Otherwise nobody would be together after giving birth etc... there's lots of forms of intimacy that can be used in a relationship.

propyl21 · 2023-02-19T00:24:26+00:00

Nope. Love is.

MisogenesUSA · 2023-02-18T23:58:51+00:00

Sex is the sine qua non of relationships. Retirement communities are STD hotbeds

_revelationary · 2023-02-19T01:21:15+00:00

It can be for some people and more power to them.

For me, I am not making “the most important aspect” of my relationship something that won’t reliably happen all the time and can be influenced by things out of either partner’s control.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-02-19T01:25:21+00:00

Great sex is a result of a healthy, loving relationship, not the raison d'être.

blebbyroo · 2023-02-19T01:49:10+00:00

Communication, shared values and goals and attraction are all more important than sex Sex is a critical component sure, it’s not the glue.

AceArguments · 2023-02-19T03:15:06+00:00

The reason why sex between two individuals happens in the first place is because of some sort of mutual attraction, a comfortable level of trust, a shared feeling of either love/connection/understanding, and a bond built over a period of time (however long or short that time period is).

Sex doesn't help couples through tough times or ease tension. The last thing anyone who is experiencing hurt, anger, sadness, frustration, or pain would tell you is that they are definitely not in the mood to fuck. Sex isn't glue, it won't make a relationship that's turning sour, go back on course. It won't prevent a good relationship from going awry. People in good relationships fall out of love. Having more sex doesn't prevent someone from falling out of love with you.

Getting through tough times, fights, and overcoming hurdles requires communication, understanding, and two people who are willing to put in the work. Sex is just an aspect.

If you want to get through all of the things life throws at you. Sex is the least important aspect. But of course, anyone in a retirement home can tell you that.

Edit: I have found a way to make my argument more succinct.

When you meet a person. What comes first? The relationship or the sex? Does a stranger that meets someone for the first time randomly have sex with them? Or build some sort of bond first? Obviously, they built some sort of bond first. What is that bond made of? Communication, understanding, and a certain amount of trust. So what is more important in a relationship? The bond or the sex? Obviously, the bond because without it, there wouldn't be sex. Even in the most sexual interactions, there was some sort of bond/connection/understanding that took place. In order to facilitate future sexual encounters with the same person, do you work on the bond or the sex? Obviously the bond.

no_spoon · 2023-02-19T04:24:02+00:00

Your desire to fuck each other depends on a whole host of factors, primarily emotional.

MistyMaisel · 2023-02-19T04:29:43+00:00

If sex is the most important part of your long term romantic life partner committed relationship, I feel really bad for you.

Neptune-Jr · 2023-02-19T04:38:00+00:00

Asexual people get into happy relationships so I don't know.

snsjsthrowj · 2023-02-19T04:39:07+00:00

Sex ain't everything but its a very VERY important part of a relationship

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-02-19T14:04:45+00:00

No it isn’t. Communication is.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-02-19T20:23:14+00:00

I agree without sex it's not a relationship it's a friendship or business arrangement

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-02-20T04:47:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say most important but a comedian said it nicely.

Sex is like a bathroom in a house. You didn’t buy your house for the bathroom…but If someone ripppes your bathroom out and they left you a bucket to do business you’d probably sell the house

-Starship · 2023-02-19T04:53:49+00:00

No, intimacy is the most important aspect of a relationship. Sex is usually part of intimacy, but intimacy is not relegated to physical acts. There's also emotional intimacy and the intimacy of sharing your life with someone.

gate18 · 2023-02-19T03:51:33+00:00

... To you.

Not to all.

Most of us shink the world, and characterize it in order to make sense of it, but in reality, it's too complex.

I know that people talk about “seasons” in marriage, which sounds like woo woo magical thinking to me, but ultimately your desire to fuck each other is going to help you overcome hurdles, tough times, fights, etc.

You don't understand the "seasons", it sounds like magic to you, yet you have an ultimate solution to the magic you do not understand!!

TrueEnoughNewsViews · 2023-02-19T00:35:12+00:00

I don’t think it’s the most important, I think it’s the only part of a relationship.

The only reason I’m putting up with some annoying, un-self-aware, narcissistic, using, soul-dead chick is because I want to smash her brains out.

I don’t care about her politics.

I don’t care about her bullshit job.

I don’t care about the fake person she’s pretending to be for clout.

All I care about is lightening my load.

Most straight, normal men are exactly the same.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2023-02-18T23:51:46+00:00

It is, OP.

Sex is vital to keep a relationship going, IMO.

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Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-02-19T00:06:44+00:00

So when you stop finding the person sexy (say because of illness or having to wipe their ass all the time) the relationship is over?

velveteen08 · 2023-02-19T00:07:13+00:00

sex isn’t important to everyone… i don’t plan on having sex again, not even in marriage and i’ve been celebrate for over a year and it’s not because of being asexual or going through a phase - it makes me feel secure and safe. i’m heterosexual and experience sexual attraction but will not act on that desire because it’s easy to suppress. why can’t men do this too?

i also know i can provide a lot more than just sex. why does everything have to be about sex? it’s very disturbing the importance some men put on sex and i plan on making it very clear to my future partner that i have a no sex boundary and would be incredibly upset if he tried to persuade me to change my mind because "sex is the most important aspect of a relationship"…. it’s not, there’s so much more that can be enjoyed.

MDFornia · 2023-02-19T00:13:12+00:00

Probably not. I do think it's more important than is polite to acknowledge, but I would say having fundamental, core wants in life that are compatible is more important. Ended my last relationship for the lack of that compatibility. She is stunning and the sex was great, but we wanted profoundly different things in life, and neither of us wanted to budge. No amount of sloppy top can convince me to give up on my goals.

Next most important thing is finances. If you're a dude, you have to keep your money straight. Women are attracted to effectiveness and strength in men (and just straight up money lol); if you struggle financially during a relationship, your partner will become less attracted to you. And regardless of gender, stability and security are pretty much universal prereqs for serious, long term relationships. If your finances as a couple slip too much/too long, someone's liable to bail.

After those two, then I'd say sex is on the table as the next most important thing, because having really good sex on the regular is definitely a powerful vaccine against relationship failure. But it depends on the couple. Sex doesn't rule everyone's world. And it does depend on the "season"; like everything else, there are ups and downs, and the downs may last years. If someone isn't mature enough to understand that life and love is not one constant fuck fest, they're doomed to fail as a partner.

Pristine_Type_lmao · 2023-02-19T07:52:30+00:00

I mean, mayb e your friends' value is based on being the "convenience"?

Same as women being a man's second or third choice, most of us end up being someone else's convenience.

mrsmariekje · 2023-02-19T15:06:24+00:00

I really don't think this is true. Strong marriages are built on principles, shared goals and healthy dependency. When times get tough, you need to remind each other why you need each other, what your goals are and how the marriage will help you achieve them together.

Something as wishy washy as sexual desire is an extremely shaky foundation upon which to build a relationship. I have no sympathy for people who's marriages go up in flames due to this ideology. This is exactly why marriages are failing.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-02-19T17:18:30+00:00

asexual confusion intensifies Lmao. It’s absolutely not

Pilling_it · 2023-02-19T17:56:36+00:00

It's only important when not going well.

Like most things.

NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-02-19T21:31:29+00:00

One can always do UAPGFT (Ugly And Poor Girlfriend Test, my invention, I think I've described it somewhere here earlier).

Why physical intimacy feels so good? Why it's good enough to just have some sex without telling a word? Why so many people end up in lustful marriages which end up in heavy divorces when the lust went out? Also, only sex can provide for long term family building, you can't create natural family with only personality match, even adopted children needed someone to create them.

I'm leaning into agreeing here.

You can even have relationship based only on sex and happily lasting for years.

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-02-19T22:16:32+00:00

So what happens when you get ED that meds won’t fix? Or someone has a serious illness that makes sex for longer periods of time no longer possible? Or when you are too old to have sex? Yes affection is important, but sex? Not the most important thing. Who you are at 25 will not e who you are at 55.

2023-02-20T14:16:26+00:00

There are seasons in any marriage, but of course the significance varies based on life circumstances.

butterfly_cats · 2023-02-21T07:44:03+00:00

What? Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship. At all. I'm asexual, me and my partner have sex a few times a month at most but we're perfectly happy.

ambrosedc · 2023-02-21T14:29:23+00:00

What about asexual people? Do they just not count because reasons?

Title	Sex is the most important aspect of a relationship.
Author	No-Rough-7390
Upvotes	5
Comments	277
Date	February 18, 2023 11:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/115uxpi/sex_is_the_most_important_aspect_of_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sex-is-the-most-important-aspect-of-a-relationship.1152161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152161

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