CMV: Women with high functioning autism have it easier than men

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-06-28T09:53:06+00:00

Removed for off topic.

KayRay1994 · 2023-06-28T04:00:41+00:00

depends on how you define “easier” - ie. autistic women are better at blending in, sure, primarily because they’re socially conditioned to as women have a higher expectation to behave a certain way. That being said, because autistic women are just as bad as autistic men at reading social cues (they’re only really better at mimicking behavior, because its given as a “script”, but the understanding is just as lacking) they’re far more likely to be taken advantage of socially and get into abusive relationships. So while yes, it is easier to blend in socially, that comes with many different struggles as they’re only taught to follow certain behaviors, not read or understand them.

Also, interestingly enough - where women tend to be overdiagnosed with BPD and under-diagnosed with autism, for men it is the opposite - this is primarily because of the way men are taught to interact socially, ie. avoiding any kind of emotional understanding, expression, etc - where they’re taught to primarily be the “workers” so to speak, as such because men with BPD have no understanding of how their emotions function, they’re far more likely to repress them or are unable to express them, causing them to be misdiagnosed - of course, many people do have both (such as myself - its a hell of a ride)

As for your last bit, while yes, it certainly far less common and should be called out more when women are weird or creepy, they’re often stigmatized differently - ie. crazy, hysterical, unhinged - think the crazy ex girlfriend trope, or the slutty, easy daddy issues - that kind of thing. Neurodivergent women are stigmatized differently because they’re given an entirely different social role.

Philip8000 · 2023-06-28T03:50:36+00:00

About what happened to me. I didn't start out being shy; I became that way after years of rejection and mistreatment. My concern about approaching isn't that she'll say no, but that she'll go ballistic, call the cops, and I'll end up in the back of a squad car. (And I've had the first two happen) Not to mention being friendly to a female co-worker once got me fired: no flirting, no compliments, just trying to be friendly. All because I can appear "off' to people.

That being said, I wouldn't say female autistics have it easier. Those I've encountered online have almost always been abused and raped, so I don't think I'd want to trade places. The difficulties with social cues mean they're less likely to see warnings that neurotypical women would.

bsmith440 · 2023-06-28T06:37:01+00:00

This page has really turned into the oppression Olympics

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-06-28T03:50:37+00:00

The problem is, the behavior being seen as 'cute' 'funny' or 'quirky' makes it more difficult for women to get diagnosed and get help managing it... so it can actually make life more difficult.

That being said, I don't think autism is 'easy' for anyone in a world that is generally only built for the neurotypical.

Unnecessary-Training · 2023-06-28T03:10:50+00:00

Autistic women are far more likely to be victims of physical and sexual abuse due to their gullibility. In fact, human traffickers are specifically trained to be on the lookout for women exhibiting signs of being autistic, because such women are easier to lure into their trap than neurological women.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-06-28T05:08:48+00:00

We mask because in middle school our peers deliberately give us hell until we do? I mean whatever, you're allowed to think we're got it easier now because we do this if you want to think that...I happen to disagree and think living life while masking is like dancing backwards in high heels...but the process of learning how to do this is pure torture and drove many of us to the brink of suicide.

It's basically the "being a dancing monkey" thing you guys complain about so angrily but 24/7.

10throwawayantsy · 2023-06-28T03:23:00+00:00

Yes and no. I agree with you to an extent, but women with autism are much more likely to get sexually taken advantage of, because they often come off as naive in a way autistic men do not.

I have also seen autistic girls get made fun of ruthlessly in grade school

AngeCruelle · 2023-06-28T05:02:28+00:00

Have you ever heard a woman being called a school shooter or being creepy?

No but I have definitely seen autistic women who don't mask get labeled cold, rude, or bitchy and end up being ostracized for it. That doesn't even touch upon the hygiene issues.

Have you ever heard a woman being called a stalker?

Absolutely.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-06-28T07:45:53+00:00

Have you ever met a woman with autism or who was otherwise considered weird and not in a fun way? From my observations, they're tormemted far more than equivalent men, especially by men. I'd imagine that's part of the reason women often mask better, out of simple necessity. Autism doesn't just present as being awkward and shy, it presents as being weird, saying and doing thing that others can't understand and sometimes even scaring people. A woman going through sensory overload isn't seen as "quirky", she's seen as annoying at best and threatening at worst. Just not often in a violent sense as that's a kind of threat women are unlikely to pose.

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VoltairesBarista · 2023-06-28T05:54:59+00:00

And?

ExpandUpdog · 2023-06-28T07:17:36+00:00

Interesting topic. Should autistic males be expected to mask as hard as autistic females?

asofiro_ · 2023-06-28T08:10:54+00:00

A lot of autistic women have similar struggles to autistic men. There are fewer of them and many aren't even diagnosed.

From what I've noticed, many younger autistic women barely date because they are so anxious. They don't really seem to have high libidos either and often verge on asexual.

They just live in their own little worlds. I dated a girl like this briefly and she couldn't go to the movies because it was too loud.

Magnito-was-right · 2023-06-28T09:20:19+00:00

Women with autism get raped at such a high rate. It really depends on what you consider easier.

flosterjenkins · 2023-06-28T10:09:10+00:00

I think OP is exaggerating a bit, but I get the general gist. A moody autistic teenage boy, who is larger, got lots of testosterone, and usually the target for more echo chambers online, may be viewed more suspiciously than a moody autistic teenage girl.

Still though, try to not be too dismissive of other people's problems. Autistic women have their own challenges too. If you make this a pattern, like constantly making light of other peoples issues but expecting them to respect yours, people are going to think you're a self centered ass.

magiksissclit · 2023-06-28T05:26:56+00:00

And thus a higher rate of being abused and being taking advantage of as well.

Grass is not always greener, and even if it were, no one on this planet in the history of mankind ever made themselves happy, content, confident or self-actualized by maligning themselves against the perceived advantages of others.

Comparison is the thief of joy

operapeach · 2023-06-28T05:24:31+00:00

Look up how many autistic women are sexually assaulted and taken advantage of

dyngladfel · 2023-06-28T08:20:56+00:00

Have you ever heard a woman being called a school shooter

No because women just don't commit violence like that in the same rates that men do.

I definitely think autistic men have a difficult time. But to assume that neurodivergent women have it easy is taking it too far. You don't need to compare one with the other. Autistic women specifically are highly invisible in society, that does not mean they have an easy life.

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-06-28T05:55:12+00:00

Title should read: women have it easier than men.

Women with any kind of deficiency have it easier than men with that same deficiency

Annual_Ad_1536 · 2023-06-28T06:26:23+00:00

If I would have to choose between being constantly sexually harassed or mistaken for flirting with someone and being thought of as incapable of doing anything other than secretarial or "people oriented work" or being considered intrinsically dumber than men or destined to be a parent, over just being found creepy or having idiots think I'm a school shooter, I'd go with the latter every time.

Short_Persimmon2229 · 2023-06-28T08:10:24+00:00

What a blue pill subreddit.

DenseCompetitionR · 2023-06-28T06:40:48+00:00

Why would anyone change your view? this is a well known fact men don't care about social awkwardness.

Title	CMV: Women with high functioning autism have it easier than men
Author	Business_Window_6232
Upvotes	36
Comments	100
Date	June 28, 2023 2:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14kx6yu/cmv_women_with_high_functioning_autism_have_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-women-with-high-functioning-autism-have-it.1223671 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223671

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