Marriage 2.0 is much better than Marriage 1.0

Willow-girl · 2023-07-16T11:07:59+00:00

This will mean less abused or neglected kids because people no longer have to stay with abusers or even just people that they don’t like. Kids know when you don’t like the other parent. Besides that, why the heck would you waste your life on a marriage that isn’t working?

Because divorce often plunges the custodial parent into persistent poverty? Only about 5 percent of married-couple household live in poverty, while nearly a quarter of ones headed by a female single parent do..

Or maybe because children residing in households with unrelated adults were nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries than children residing with 2 biological parents?

John_Oakman · 2023-07-16T03:46:14+00:00

Which one is better depends on where one sees purpose. For most of history marriages are about the combining of resources & labor to create an environment for the raising of children. Romantic notions of love had little to do with it, and people were generally resigned to mundane-ness and mediocracy. However it does ensure stability and continuation of society/community.

Modern marriage (marrying for romantic love) is about the uncompromising gratification of the individuals involved, which when unchecked tend to be fleeting and transient. While it removes a lot of the unhappiness and begrudging tolerance of traditional marriages it also removes a lot of the stability as the incentive structure to compromise was dismantled.

If anything, the uncompromising individualism of modern liberal secular cultures begs the question of the utility of the entire concept of marriage, which is why despite the ease to get out of one both the real men of the manosphere and certain factions of feminists promote the single life and being overall anti-marriage.

Unconstrained pursuit of happiness shouldn't be the end all be all.

PrudentCapital5625 · 2023-07-16T05:32:05+00:00

Can't get divorced if you never get married.

LoopyPro · 2023-07-16T13:09:16+00:00

Why bother getting married if we can just abandon it whenever we want? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for personal and individual freedom, but doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of the whole concept? Something fragile as "marriage 2.0" just has no meaning. At the end of the day it only increases legal risks for one person, and rewards the other person. Prenups are just as fragile and are often discarded in court.

I don't see the point in signing a contract that the other party is incentivized to break. If the entire point of marriage is to be together, then just be together. It's not like a signature or a ring will magically seal the deal. The legal benefits like tax breaks or insurance policies do not weigh up against the legal risks.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-07-16T03:06:27+00:00

Marriage 2.0 isn't taken seriously because it's not binding. The fact that it has harsh consequences despite having little enforcement makes it inherently bad. Bad incentive structures cannot be praised. Marriage 1.0 worked for all of history and now that we have marriage 2.0, a lot of people are choosing to check out entirely. Clearly it's not working.

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-07-16T05:00:37+00:00

Marriage with divorce is just a long term relationship. End of story.

Vows: in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do you part.

Don’t wanna stick to these? Want the possibility of leaving? Cool. It’s fine. Don’t get married

Avakaaya-karam · 2023-07-16T03:39:04+00:00

Nothing important is convenient. More times than not even when married couples stay together even though they don't want to sooner or later they will reach a compromise and has wayy higher chance of actually becoming a functional and happy family than when they simply divorce because they think a colleague is showing interest in them or because they think their partner is not giving them enough attention.

Now obviously there is no one fit all situations. Almost everything kind of laws works for reasonable and logic people but almost nothing will work for stupid people and we all know how stupid majority of humanity is. Weather we like it or not we need external force to do stuff that we should be doing naturally even our own responsibilities including maintaining and putting in work on their own marriage.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2023-07-16T03:52:35+00:00

The liberation of marriage was good face value. Idealistically, people would still get married with the idea of fighting till the end, and only divorcing in extreme situations like abuse and child neglect. But realistically, it pushes people to not take marriage seriously, creating.. maybe not more but different issues like the fact a huge percentage of kids are without two parents, people not being able to hold a relationship, etc.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-07-16T03:47:28+00:00

Have you ever been through a divorce? I agree no fault divorce is not great but divorce is still painful and difficult. And there might be something to idea that couples can figure it out it it means faking an affair with the court.

What you’re not aware of is that your marriage used to be an indication of your character.

This idea that women had it bad back in the day might be true. But it wasn’t true for every woman. It was not true for a lot of women in family who, while acknowledging progress, feel bad for women my age. I think you need to believe marriage 2.0 is better because if it’s not, we’ll have to acknowledge that all the sexual freedom and sex positive stuff has been to the benefit of men. In business school, I had a class that discussed how potential company executives’ wives were interviewed by hiring campiness. Imagine the pressure that placed on men to put a ton of effort into their marriage. It wasn’t perfect, it you’re lying to yourself if you think it wasn’t good for women and men. Bill clinton was accused of poor character because would say, if you lie to your spouse, you can to anyone about anything.

Think about this way, in the past few years, the democrats have repeatedly pointed to trump’s relationships with women, specifically his high number of divorces and apparent affairs, as evidence of his poor character. I’m not sure a great degree of the public cares how he or any politician treats their spouse anymore. If they didn’t like it, they could leave and divorce, right?Welcome to your marriage 2.0.

abaxeron · 2023-07-16T17:41:29+00:00

Advantages you listed for "marriage 2.0":

Divorce.

It's an improvement only for the party that marries with aim to divorce.

Make your own conclusions.

EconomyBrain4399 · 2023-07-16T03:35:09+00:00

WELL you don't have to worry about marriage if it's 2.0 or 1.0 because marriage in the western world is over thanks , have a happy and lonely life every one

maplehobo · 2023-07-16T04:38:01+00:00

I’ll one up you and say marriage 1.0 and 2.0 both suck. No marriage ftw tf outta here with that shit.

HazyMemory7 · 2023-07-16T04:25:16+00:00

No fault is worse for different reasons.

Women are now financially independent and can support themselves. People should not be entitled to half of their spouse's assets if they leave voluntarily barring things like domestic abuse (found guilty for it) or infidelity. Commitment has to be mutual. And functionally, with the way the world has changed, alimony longer than 5~ years should not exist.

Divorce court is antiquated and the west treats marriage like nothing more than a summer fling.

alexisoliviaemerson · 2023-07-16T10:46:55+00:00

I’ve heard someone say that your first marriage is just a trial run, which seems so true.

Jazzlike-Actuary-99 · 2023-07-16T07:08:11+00:00

The issue with Marriage 2.0 is that people approach it like they approached modern dating. It is shopping, ghosting and jumping ship at the slightest sign of effort required. Making the endevour rather meaningless.

Ok_Tomorrow_3963 · 2023-07-16T03:11:38+00:00

Marriage 1.0 was a bad deal for women, with marriage 2.0 all we did was make it a bad deal for men. In the end, they both suck for different reasons, doesn’t make either one better

hannahg000 · 2023-07-16T04:07:16+00:00

in my opinion, a lot of people who are getting married now shouldn’t be getting married. it’s seen as a milestone in the life of a young adult so people who are in a relationship for a few years are like “why the hell not?”

a lot of people are getting married without putting in enough work into the relationship by having in depth conversations about values, life goals, and problem solving skills. all couples would benefit from marriage counseling before getting married.

all that to say, people should be able to leave a marriage for any reason. there’s no ethical reason for two unhappy people to stay together. an argument could be made if they have children but even then what good would seeing miserable people everyday do for children. it would be better if both parents stayed in the children’s life equally after the divorce. and that would require better divorce courts and family courts because the current system is a mess.

in the meantime, people shouldn’t get married if they don’t have a deep understanding of their partner and have thought of every possible consequence of the marriage.

Loud_Complaint_8248 · 2023-07-16T06:56:58+00:00

This will mean less abused or neglected kids

This is just factually untrue. Stepparents (i.e. the man mom gets together with after her marriage fails) are often the culprits of sexual abuse of teenagers. As for abandoned kid, how could anyone think that the crumbling family structure has meant less kids in say, foster homes?

keenenandraz · 2023-07-16T03:49:15+00:00

You’d have to make up a reason as to why you should divorce

You should have a legitimate reason. If you have to make something up, then you likely don't have a good reason to divorce.

People can definitely still hold up divorces, but there is no need to hire someone to be “caught” with your spouse at a hotel.

Someone who goes through the trouble of doing that rather than working on their marriage has mental issues.

You can just move out! Divorce! It’s simple comparatively.

Why should anyone take vows in the first place if the initial solution to any problem in the marriage is divorce?

Now marriage can only be between people who actually want to be married.

You think that wasn't the case before? Everyone was just marrying people they hated?

WilliamWyattD · 2023-07-16T04:58:14+00:00

Marriage was mostly about the children and broader society. Of course there are many benefits to marriage 1.0, but it remains to be seen if this works out in the big picture.

tricep_bro · 2023-07-16T18:29:41+00:00

One works and the other doesnt.

Marriage 2.0 has a 40-50% divorce rate.

So it doesnt even work.

Marriage 2.0 is also the reason for millions of broken up homes and fatherless children.

Children are more likely to have issues today because of a lack of a father present than ever before.

So that point regarding family and children doesnt even stand.

Scarce12 · 2023-07-16T07:27:29+00:00

Marriage 2.0 is so 1970s.

Today we are up to Marriage 50.0 + 1

(50 sex partners and a piece on the side).

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Plazmatron44 · 2023-07-16T12:45:36+00:00

Marriage 1.0 for all it's flaws worked, men and women were strongly encouraged by family and community to have realistic expectations of each other and in marriage to be loyal and dutiful to each other and the children. that's why you still see today old couples who have been together in marriage for 50 plus years.

Marriage 2.0 is a mess where the man enters a contract his wife is heavily incentivised to break. Despite all the talk of romance and love the sense of duty husband and wife have to each other is tenuous at best and in regards to children the state is ever ready to take over the role of father as the family court system practically exists to favour giving women full custody. Most marriages are lucky to last twenty years these days.

Barely-moral · 2023-07-16T16:00:48+00:00

A lot of you seem to be wearing rose colored glasses. Marriage 1.0 wasn’t some ideal thing.

It was good for the purpose of creating a one way in no way out (or close enough to no way out) relationship.

Not having no fault divorce sucked. You’d have to make up a reason as to why you should divorce and if someone didn’t want the divorce they could hold it up. People can definitely still hold up divorces, but there is no need to hire someone to be “caught” with your spouse at a hotel.

That is precisely what a minority of us wants.

I have nothing against current day marriage (Marriage 2.0) because it clearly provides the majority of the population with what they want. I would like the option of Marriage 1.0 to remain available for those of us that want to use it.

There is no need to live separate lives until someone dies. There is no need to move away and move out and hope that your paramour doesn’t want to marry. You can just move out! Divorce! It’s simple comparatively.

And why do you think I would value simplicity over permanency?

This is such a blessing.

It is a blessing if you value freedom over permanency.

Now marriage can only be between people who actually want to be married.

Sounds horrible to me.

This will mean less abused or neglected kids because people no longer have to stay with abusers or even just people that they don’t like.

I don't care.

What I want from marriage is a structure that results in a relationship with one way in and no way out.

I don't want to take away marriage 2.0 from people. I am not self centered enough to believe such an arrangement should not exist. I just would like to have an institution that provides for my needs the same way marriage 2.0 provides for the needs of the majority of the people that support it.

AntiHypergamist · 2023-07-16T18:44:49+00:00

Jesus. Some boy raised by a single mom wrote this claptrap

Dom-Francon · 2023-07-16T18:56:49+00:00

Marriage 1.0 = men held all the cards and a woman in a failing marriage had shitty options.

Marriage 2.0 = women hold all the cards and a man in a failing marriage has shitty options.

We should have strove for true equality but we didn't. I guess it's human nature, who ever holds the upper hand, will abuse their position. You will never hear a feminist arguing for more equitable divorce or family court laws for men despite all the lip service we pay to "equality of the sexes". The only time equality of the sexes seems to matter is in the (widely debunked) wage gap argument.

Yomzie_hun · 2023-07-16T20:24:27+00:00

I agree tbh but marriage should be taken seriously. It is a vow and people should think hard and well before getting into it. Divorce must be availiable but it should not give the notion to youngsters that marriage is just paper and actualisation of transient feelings.

Leyoniflowers · 2023-07-16T21:56:37+00:00

i mean it defeats the purpose of marriage lol just don’t get married

Notsonewguy7 · 2023-07-17T03:49:46+00:00

If you belong to the upper class, it is better. If you belong to the lower class, it's worse. Most human relationships are based on necessity, not novelty. If you base all human relationships on novelty, only those who live in circumstances that are already decent will have any meaningful benefit.

The poor, simple, and common will be worse off.

Title	Marriage 2.0 is much better than Marriage 1.0
Author	Dom-Francon
Upvotes	52
Comments	167
Date	July 16, 2023 2:40 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/150ugrx/marriage_20_is_much_better_than_marriage_10/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/marriage-20-is-much-better-than-marriage-10.1225430 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225430

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