What do you make of a woman who regularly dates older men?

obviousredflag · 2023-08-22T19:01:29+00:00

Absolutely understandable.

Age gaps provide both parties with what they need or find attractive. Are there toxic, unhealthy, abusive reasons for it? Yeah, sometimes. Just like in non-age gap relationships.

All sexualities are fine now, but being into men who are 5+ years older is the thing where the line is drawn now?

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-08-22T19:06:18+00:00

One of the biggest reasons that women see men who only date younger women and won't date women their own age as a red flag is that those men will ditch you once you age. They are only attracted to younger women, and we all age. That is not true for women who only date older men. Five years is nothing, I am speaking more of 10 or more years. And honestly the women who only date men who are that much older are few and far between. A woman may get into a relationship with an older man, but it's rare that's all she dates.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-08-22T19:16:07+00:00

Age gap relationships make sense: especially for families. It is better to have a man further in his career date a woman who has most of her best child rearing years ahead of her.

AfterDarkOpinions · 2023-08-22T21:16:53+00:00

I don't have any issue with women who date men who are older than them, provided they're doing so because they're attracted to them and enjoy spending time with them. Love and genuine interest don't have age limits associated with them.

LoFiPanda14 · 2023-08-22T18:54:09+00:00

Use to work at a gym and there was a couple 30F, 40M and I didn’t really think it was that weird they seemed normal and I wouldnt know the gap if their birthday wasnt in front of me on screen. Context is pretty important I would definitely think something is up if it was like a 25+ year difference or something wild like that. But 5 year or so difference? Probably wouldnt think anything of it.

pancakesyo_ · 2023-08-22T22:24:24+00:00

If the woman is over 25, then who cares. But if you're still in college or god forbid high school, it comes off opportunistic and desperate to look mature.

Hubris1998 · 2023-08-22T22:52:55+00:00

It's something I frown upon. Especially when they claim that men their age are immature as if they didn't have obvious daddy issues and gold-digger tendencies.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-08-23T02:09:13+00:00

It's a red flag for sure. It's possible there is a good reason, but I'd be wary, for sure.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-08-22T18:55:15+00:00

I would say they are looking for a father and not a partner. Women's brains develop faster so they mature a bit quicker than men of the same age. So a few years older I would say would be natural. So I really see the problem and I think divorce rates also speak to this when you get into the 6-7+ age gaps.

KayRay1994 · 2023-08-22T19:07:22+00:00

depends on how old she is, if she’s in her late 20s+ I wouldn’t think anything of it, if she’s younger and its a trend…. daddy issues

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-08-22T21:30:00+00:00

I think it would depend on the age of the particular woman, the age of the men, and how many older men she’s dated.

In a lot of situations it may just be a phase. When I was in my early 20s I liked men in their late 20s because they seemed to be more mature and physically that’s when a lot of men peak in attractiveness. As I myself got older I was no longer attracted to “older” men and married someone my age. Even now that I’m pushing 40 I’m still mostly physically attracted to men in their late 20s and men my age that look younger than they are.

Abadabadon · 2023-08-22T23:30:56+00:00

I think it'd be strange but I am also strange so who am I to judge

indaknffr · 2023-08-23T00:28:55+00:00

5 years is not that big a gap. She's probably more mature or at least has more mature interests

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-08-23T01:05:20+00:00

I don't see a problem with it. You like what you lke

Workaholiconew · 2023-08-22T19:45:57+00:00

Normal?

Women go for older men all the rime and as they get older they go for men even older than themselves... and it is the normal state of afairs.

There is a limit of normal behavior sure (10+ years difference is rather rare) but thats the norm.

And lets be real "gold digger" is also the norm... its not that some women are gold diggers. It is that some women gold dig too much and are not worth dealing with (aka. Too expensive).

uselessloner123 · 2023-08-22T22:05:57+00:00

Generally women are the ones who shame other women on this topic.

Men don’t care at all unless it’s something really outrageous (like 30+ years)

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-08-22T23:00:25+00:00

As an older guy - a girl who has good taste!

Hoopy223 · 2023-08-22T19:40:43+00:00

I don’t care I’ve got my own shit to worry about.

HimNeutron · 2023-08-22T20:05:59+00:00

You should’ve said young women who regularly date older men. No one cares who a 25 and up woman dates.

MarBitt · 2023-08-22T21:16:21+00:00

That she appreciates experience, stability and maturity in men. And maybe she likes gray hair if she's at the age where that matters.

But only if someone pointed it out to me. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have even noticed that the woman had some special preference and just took it as normal.

2023-08-22T22:08:30+00:00

She's doing it for money
She has mental health problems/a personality disorder

Zabadoodude · 2023-08-22T18:47:47+00:00

I'm in a relationship with one.

Hasn't been a problem.

AutoModerator · 2023-08-22T18:41:48+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-08-22T20:11:30+00:00

u mean like 70 and 75?

abaxeron · 2023-08-22T21:06:57+00:00

If I am not the older man, I don't care; she may date her own toothbrush. Would I reject her just because she dated 2+ older dudes before me? - Don't know, but it definitely could put some things into perspective (for example, if several guys before me were older than her, but I am not).

harmonica2 · 2023-08-22T21:22:50+00:00

I'm in a monogamous relationship with a younger woman, but if the couple are in a monogamous relationship who will not leave each other because of aging, do women think higher of them compared, two ones the date older and younger frequently?

2023-08-22T21:27:02+00:00

Weird af. Especially if shes around my age and dating guys that are mid to late 20s and 30s. And this is why I stopped believing when people say girls make mistakes by datinh older guys. A mistake isnt intentional. There are so many stories about what goes wrong when w date older men and yet they still choose to do it purposely. And like you said if a guy regularly date women significantly older hes seen as a weirdo. But a girl dating a guy 10+ years older than her is fine because its a "mistake" shes allowed to make

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-08-22T22:14:38+00:00

It's fine with me, because I don't find the necessity to give my input on the other gender's preferences. Date older men if you want. Most women usually do date older, the average age gap is around 3 years.

stemcellblock4 · 2023-08-23T00:23:12+00:00

There's nothing wrong with it at all. And it's not always the woman being younger. My mom is about 5 years older than my step-dad.

But it usually is! Lol, my best friend's mom is about 15 years younger than his dad. One of my uncle's is only 4 years older than me (41M), because my grandfather remarried to a woman about 20 years younger than him. (But don't worry, his ex, my grandmother, remarried too.)

And these are all highly successful people. (Judge, Doctor, pro athlete, war hero, world-traveled, etc.)

Luisd858 · 2023-08-23T00:24:29+00:00

Yeah she’s probably looking for a certain lifestyle aka money

According-Dinner-406 · 2023-08-23T01:14:31+00:00

Older women are giving out all the sex right now so I can't be bothered with younger women. And I've heard a couple of my ex's complain THEIR ex's are fucking around with older women, so. Gotta go where the utility is sometimes.

These younger women just aren't the women their grandmother's were, I guess. Because now MILFS and grannies are taking over.

I wonder if younger women ever think about their future after 50 and how desperate they'll be for just any man's attention by that point because I think about it sometimes and I'm not even a woman.

wtknight · 2023-08-23T01:45:40+00:00

If she has dated a lot of older men? She probably is either a gold digger or she has daddy issues.

I don't see a problem with a younger woman falling for an older man, though.

jverveslayer · 2023-08-23T02:24:27+00:00

Some people have a visceral reaction to relationships with age gaps and it gives them the ick. Other people can date fall in love with people of very different ages, and it doesn't feel weird at all to them.

I don't care if a woman has dated older men before. I date people for who they are, not their dating history.

On reddit you hear people make all these negative stereotypes about people in relationships with different ages. I think these are mostly ridiculous

Ambitious-Knee7586 · 2023-08-23T03:36:29+00:00

Gold digger

2023-08-23T03:59:53+00:00

Sexy

lovestocomment · 2023-08-23T06:57:48+00:00

Nothing! And to be frank it makes sense. Being More competent and responsible. They also tend to make more and are financially secure. Maturity is key for a a lot of women who don't want to date around. And the level of responsibility, patient, income and consistency needed will most likely not be found in a guy in his early 20s if said female is in her early 20s.

All of these comments about older men wanting mess with teenagers are bullshit. And it's extremely rare you'll see anything like that. And if you do or hear about it, it's most likely that guy is being hunted by the cops, charged, or have been sent to prison.

Yes, men prefer younger women but the fact is that no normal guy in their late 20s, 30s, 40s and up will approach or even considering dating any chick under 20.

No_Ask_2241 · 2023-08-23T12:58:33+00:00

Probably gold diggers

TopNYJeweler · 2023-08-23T14:44:08+00:00

I think she wants to take things seriously, maybe to make a family.

Older men often are better established. Sure, there are established younger men, but they are few and they are still exploring options.

CountMandrake · 2023-08-24T05:01:55+00:00

My grandma met my grandpa when she was 15 and he was 27.

My father was my mom's first love, she was 14 and he was 20 when they met.

My ex fiancee of 8 years was in only two long term relationships before we met, with a 28 years old dude from 19 to 21, and with a 35 years old grown ass dude from 21 to 24. We met when she was 25 and I was 24, according to her, she fell in love with me the first time she saw me, but almost dump me after our first date because she found out I was younger than her.

And her mom actually told me once how she met my ex's dad. She fell in love with the man when he was 20... And she was 6! She even told me her mother used to joke about that time she found out her "crush" was dating another (more appropiate for his age) girl in town. She spent a whole month crying over it, she was 10 years old. She introduces herself to the man after he divorced, he was 40 and she was like 26. When they got married she confessed her husband she had been in love with him basically her whole life. She didn't spoke to him for a whole month after her husband told her "I didn't even knew you existed before that night you came to talk to me".

Literally, a fucking life-long stalker that woman was.

I'm currently 34, and dating-seing three girls, two of which are 21 and 24 years old.

What do I think about age gaps?

That some women don't like it that much, and others actually prefer them.

If she's a adult, she likes me and wants to be with me, and I like her back... Why not?

Some people isn't going to like it... Oh well, too bad for them that I give a fuck what other people think about me.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-08-24T21:42:01+00:00

5 years isn't really that large of a gap when you are in your thirties. I don't think anything of it. I do find it odd when someone wants to date someone else who is in a completely different stage of life.

As a male, I generally wouldnt want a women too young to date me. I would think such a person would be more interested in the concept of dating an older guy than she is with dating me as a person. We are in different stages of life and by dating me it seems like she wants to skip a stage of life. But by skipping that stage, she is missing valuable life experience. And it seems like she just wants to reap the benefits of being with an older guy (security, financial stability, maturity, life knowledge, etc).

boomeranghitcha · 2023-08-26T14:03:07+00:00

It's fine. Just like men who date younger women. Or women that want to date tall dudes. Those are both biology, right? So we can extend that a bit and give women the same liberty to date older men.

Glittersht · 2023-08-28T23:51:30+00:00

i think age gaps can be gross, especially when it is a 15 yr old with a 55 yr old; i would never date a woman that exclusively dates older guys, specially with a big age difference with them

Zakattk1027 · 2023-09-05T15:07:54+00:00

I was married for almost 15 yrs and my ex was essentially my age. Now I’m 40 and divorced now approx 1.5 yrs. It wasn’t something I ever foresaw happening. Since then, I’ve dated a lot, and found myself dating women 10-12 years younger than me on average. For me, it’s the difference in the generational perspectives. Women my age, in my area are much more traditional. Women around 26-30 are a bit more progressive when it comes to relationship ideas/values. Now I’m in a serious relationship with someone 11years younger than me, who’s more mature, emotionally available and has a better career than my ex (and of other women my age I’ve dated). She also relates to my 17 & 11 yr old daughters better than my ex ever had (bc she’s closer to them in age and cultural perspective). 🤷🏻‍♂️

Title	What do you make of a woman who regularly dates older men?
Author	dumbbitchcas
Upvotes	16
Comments	134
Date	August 22, 2023 6:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15yel0q/what_do_you_make_of_a_woman_who_regularly_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-make-of-a-woman-who-regularly-dates.1229126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229126

Comments