There are two main reasons for this: it’s to random and there is to much pressure compared to when you get to know someone in real life.

1) Randomness: even though with online dating you can kinda select both on physical appearance and on personality, it not comparable like when you get to know someone in real life. Yes you might see a few pictures of that person, but I actually have a very hard time telling if I will find someone attractive or not based on a few pictures. On I know some people who I think are good looking in real life, but don’t look good in pictures. And when it comes to personality, you can have short chat. But again, this is definitely not comparable to having a conversation with someone in real life. You can ask some basic questions about there interests and beliefs but that’s basically it. It’s kinda annoying when guys ask me what I’m into (even though I get why they ask that question). For me having a vibing with an other person is actually the most important thing. And I can’t really tell if we vibe or not from a chat.

2) pressure: when you actually go on a date with someone you met from an online dating app, there is so much pressure for the date to go perfect. The relationship can’t really develop naturally like it could when you meet someone in real life. I’ve had a few times where I met someone for the first time (a coworker and a classmate) where I actually didn’t like them at first. But because I either worked with them or we were in the same class I was kinda “forced” to get the know them. And guess what, when I got to know them better, I actually like them a lot (one I had actual feelings for an the other it was more like a best friend). But imagine if I met those guys on tinder and we have a date. My first impression is that they are kinda arrogant. Most likely we aren’t going on a second date. So I never have the change to actually get to know them better.

One of the reasons I wanted to make this post is because im tired of seeing people say “women have it so easy on online dating apps”. It might be true that women have a lot more matches than men. But dating itself really isn’t all that easier.

The other, more obvious point is that I believe getting to know someone in real life is far more superior than dating online.