So, I haven’t posted here in a few years. That’s because it does get better and you do heal and move on. Which I had done, until February 20,2023.

I had just dropped the kids off with her mother and they were with me for the weekend. She called me and said “I have great news, the boys and I have an opportunity to live in Hawaii for a few years!” (We live in Pennsylvania). I asked where this opportunity came from and she responded, “well, I’ve been seeing this guy for a while and we just got married over the weekend (while the kids were with me) and he is stationed in Hawaii”.

So obviously, I was completely floored and shocked. The kids had told me she wasn’t seeing anyone at Christmas. They said nothing about it during the weekend. (I found out later she had instructed them not to tell me anything).

I obviously said no, you can’t move the kids to the other side of the planet.

We went through mediation, while I was completely traumatized the entire time. I still am. But the mediation went nowhere, so we went to court.

Court was composed of 3 separate full days spread over 6 months. Through the process, I found out that she had met her new husband in January. And they had gotten married over zoom, because he’s in Hawaii. The last day of the hearing was in September. About a week later, there was a zoom call with the judge, me and her, and our lawyers. (Yes I had a lawyer through all of this).

I lost. The judge thought that my girlfriend’s testimony was not convincing and didn’t feel our relationship was solid. We’ve been together almost 3 years. We live together and she has a fantastic relationship with the kids. She was nervous on the stand. Our relationship is fine. But the judge used this to justify allowing them to take the kids to Hawaii.

Now they are 6 hours behind me (5 now as Hawaii doesn’t have DST) and I only get custody when they have 5 days or more in a row off of school. And for 2 months of the summer.

Here’s the first game she’s playing. The court order clearly states “the father will take custody on the day after thanksgiving” (we alternate thanksgiving and Xmas every year). But she’s decided that means she just has to send them on the day after. So she booked their flight for 10pm Friday night. I will get them around 2 pm on Saturday. Just to send them back Tuesday at 7am.

She keeps trying to ask to skip this one since it’s so short, but that would mean I would go from labor day weekend all the way to Christmas without them and I said absolutely not. She doesn’t care about making them travel that close together. She just doesn’t want to spend the the $2500 on the flights. (judge did rule that she alone does have to pay for their travel).

I filed a contempt of court order over it, but they won’t even look at it until after thanksgiving most likely. So she’ll get a little slap on the wrist and still get her way.

So trust me, it can always get worse. If you live close enough to see your kids whenever you want, your life is blessed and I envy you.

I have never been more depressed. I’ve heavily contemplated unaliving myself, but I will never let her get that easy of a victory. I tried to move to Hawaii, but it’s completely unaffordable in every way.