Debate: It is a logical fact that if a Father „helps“ his daughter to find a man, that she will pick better and in fact it is sad that we dismissed that concept.

Safinated · 2023-12-29T01:15:39+00:00

What is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence

Feels over reals, amirite?

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-12-29T01:44:10+00:00

My father would choose a man who provides minimally and has me cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, working, and paying for all the groceries, household items, insurance, and kids needs. Just like he does. So no thanks 🫶🏽

mrs_seng · 2023-12-29T01:34:46+00:00

No, thanks. Unless my dad gets to sleep in the same bed with him and have sex with him.

What would be compatible with my father, might not be compatible with me. Not to mention attraction.

And if i take my example: i would 100% not be compatible with what my father would choose. Source: he tried to set me up with a dude.

Also, i was perfectly capable of finding a good husband. No help was needed from a 3rd party.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-12-29T02:06:02+00:00

This will most likely result in a woman picking a man that pleases her father and not who she truly likes.

So either men want women to be with them because she’s attracted to him OR men want women to pick men based on non shallow qualities.

Considering men want hot sex in a relationship, I doubt they would want this arrangement too. This is basically asking for a duty sex relationship.

blebbyroo · 2023-12-29T02:44:14+00:00

Men here complain about being used for bank accounts : no desire, beta bucks this would encourage that en mass

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2023-12-29T01:36:15+00:00

Lol my dad is a socially awkward psycho with the emotional intelligence of a tree stump, I don't think he'd even be capable of picking out a man for me, I wouldn't trust his pick anyway.

zaqariah9999 · 2023-12-29T01:28:34+00:00

nah that's weird man. parents shouldn't have a say on who you date. sure they can advice you but more than that is stepping the line. and whos going to regulate that the parent wont get too enolved and it turn from assist marrage to arranged marrage? youre saying theres no counter arguments to your point but theres also no data to support your point that arent screwed or from a third world country where women are objects.

Novadina · 2023-12-29T02:46:12+00:00

How would my dad know better than me if someone is compatible with me? He wouldn’t even be able to properly pick a friend much less a lover. And is he gonna fuck him to see if he is sexually compatible (which is a requirement for me to be sexually monogamous with someone for the rest of my life)? And I would have to tell my dad my sexual preferences so he could verify compatibility?? lol

You haven’t even mentioned a single thing my dad could do better than me. I know it’s not true my dad can’t be manipulated because I have seen him be manipulated by other men (in his career, salesmen, etc) and women. Men are not immune to manipulation, if you think they are you need a bit more evidence than just declaring it so. What “talk” would my dad have to know if a man likes to “pump and dump”?? You think if a man was lying about his plans to that to me, he for some reason wouldn’t to a father? Anyway this is a non issue, a man who pumps and dumps means he leaves, so it’s not like a woman is stuck with this guy, she just has to use condoms to make sure there are no lasting effects from sex. She can also not have sex right away and try to get to know the guy more first to make sure he isn’t like that. Why would my dad make less “complete dumb emotional selections” than me? Do you have evidence men would make less dumb selections than women?

I’ve seen my dad’s choice of wife compared to my choice of husband so I happen to know that I make better decisions in regard to partners than he does. I’d have to be a complete idiot to trust his choices over mine on this, honestly. But also if I asked my dad to do this, he would tell me he couldn’t possibly and that part of being an adult is vetting people and making these decisions myself. He taught me how to think critically and not to believe everything I hear, that’s really what a parent should be doing - teaching children how to think for themselves and make good decisions on their own.

AngeCruelle · 2023-12-29T01:55:31+00:00

I say it needs to be the whole family to some extent, not just dad.

Fathers can have very weird biases if left unchecked, and there are some women who would die alone listening solely to their father's opinion. One of the worst ones I've found is related to a topic that isn't allowed for discussion on PPD.

y2kjanelle · 2023-12-29T05:01:18+00:00

Fathers are not involved enough by any means to ever have a say. Fathers abandon their families more often. They cheat opportunistically with no logic besides monkey brain (not only cheating but doing it stupidly, how embarrassing). They statistically know less about their children and don’t even care.

Y’all apparently are chronically on tiktok so you’ve seen the street interviews where they ask mom and dad questions about each other and their children. Men did exponentially worse.

Men who couldn’t even name their wives EYE color. Couldn’t name their children in order and couldn’t remember their middle names. Couldn’t list their doctors, their teachers, their friends.

Absolutely not. Fathers are completely lacking and until that changes, they will not be respected as assistance in choosing a partner no way. They may advise on “male nature” cus clearly many of them could talk a lot about “how men are”.

But they are not behaving in any fashion where they know their children enough and are making amazing partners to women enough to give any sort of insight into relationships for women. They will NOT act in womens best interest.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-12-29T02:49:21+00:00

If you think this is a logical fact the what is there to debate

KopeMaxxer · 2023-12-29T03:42:04+00:00

You can't use balkan as a model, small population size, where family reputation is critical aspect of life, comformist, and men keep boundaries from other men out of respect or fear (pre western influences elements still exists). On the other hand, in the west where you have massive population size meaning more chaos as well as individualism create more dynamic interaction between genders (more infidelity) and family has less influence.

VerCen · 2023-12-29T01:20:55+00:00

The players don't want that.

LoggerheadedDoctor · 2023-12-29T04:34:22+00:00

So, let's say the father can determine if a guy is a decent dude and would be a respectful and loving partner. But that says nothing about compatibility, chemistry, genuine connectedness, attraction, etc. How can you vet for chemistry or attraction?

I accept that some fathers are able to identify a good man but that doesn't mean they can identify a man that is a good match for their daughter.

Many others are providing anecdotal rebuttals in here. Women who have fathers who were absent or just trash parents. You seem to have neglected all of those situations. My parents were initially not supportive when I started to date my husband, believing he was not a good match for me. But let me tell you--my husband is my person.

operation-spot · 2023-12-29T01:27:54+00:00

Most young people want sex and they don’t want their parents involved in that process.

I tend to agree for marriage but I don’t think it should be for everything and ultimately, the child needs to decide since it’s their life. The parent is only there to advise which is no different than today.

baiser_vole · 2023-12-29T01:39:15+00:00

I will somewhat support this if the old man actually is what the daughter should strive to look for and has a household as such.

I brought my boyfriend to my family for their approval cause they have shown me that I can respect their opinions.

I wonder how many people actually have such a family however.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-29T04:59:49+00:00

Lord no. And I have a wonderful father who wants the best for me and is quite wise and loving in a number of ways.

But if it were up to him, I'd probably have married my last boyfriend and that would have been a miserable affair indeed. He loves my new man much better for the record, but he was very much pushing me to give the last guy even more chances.

While he may not be swayed by charms in the way a woman is, men are no less predisposed to stupid emotions and manipulation. And almost everyone is going to flatter themselves and select someone most like them. And I love my father, but he's not a good husband. He's a wonderful father and a wonderful man, but if I'd married him, it would be laundry on the front lawn in a month.

Men love to say don't ask the fish how to catch it. I must indeed throw this sentiment into their faces by suggesting never to ask a man who is husband material and who isn't. They don't seem to have the faintest idea especially these days or perhaps their marriages would be far more pleasant or not ending in divorce.

TheLonerCoder · 2023-12-29T02:52:02+00:00

Depends on how young she is and what you mean by "better". Sure, older people are a better judge of character since they're more objective and have "been there done that" but there is more to a relationship than someone's external character. Someone presenting themselves as a saint doesn't = compatibility. This also assumes that the woman is a saint herself.

WYenginerdWY · 2023-12-29T05:26:01+00:00

i am talking about the system where a Women picks a Guy and the father vets him,

You know there are multiple cases where I've seen men on trp (and similar spaces) brag that they're raising submissive daughters to be "good wives" for other sons in their community, right? Some men hate women so much even their own daughters are not exempt. Men should not be anywhere near the spouse choosing process for their daughters, we're not your damn property to assign off.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-29T05:38:11+00:00

Dad will help rule out some types of bad matches, sure.

But its 2023 and women's raw sexual attraction to the guy matters. How is Dad gonna take that into account? Does Dad wanna hear about how Dude X is nice but has no dick game and no potential for improving it? Or that Dude Y has a penis that is too big or too small for her?

These be some fucked up convo to be having.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-29T06:27:50+00:00

OP: It is a logical fact

OP 2 seconds later: this is just my opinion.

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-29T01:32:38+00:00

I agree but here is the problem with your nuanced take. If the daughter makes irrational decisions, why would she decide to allow her dad to next the hot guy who makes her wild? She won't. There is no such thing as assisted courting unless the father can enforce the assisted courting, which then essentially makes it an arranged marriage since he can force the issue.

If you're going to do it, just do it and stop pussy footing about.

JohnStamos_55 · 2023-12-29T03:15:36+00:00

Patriarchy was beneficial for both men and women, but oh well, we’ve “progressed” now and everything went downhill 🤷🏿‍♂️

jay10033 · 2023-12-29T02:10:02+00:00

A lot of them don't have fathers, so this fails out the gate.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-12-29T04:09:00+00:00

This is 100% why the relationship with the father and the parents relationship is something to bet for, as a man.

If it’s not 1 to 1, it’s damn near close.

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hudibrastic · 2023-12-29T05:53:00+00:00

I am not talking about the system where dad rolls up and says „you're marrying this guy."

Based on what I heard this is more of a strawman created by Westerners

solstice-sky · 2023-12-29T06:04:14+00:00

Every standard I have for my partners I learned from how my father treated my mom, so I think my father would be able to pick a partner for me. Growing up, he would always tell me about what traits to avoid in order not to date losers. He had lots of opinions about who paid for dates and how to treat a partner, that’s for sure! Same with my granddad.

avpd_girl · 2023-12-29T06:09:14+00:00

I do agree that sometimes when you are in love with someone, you don’t see red flags. And so I don’t have an issue with parents (not just the father), warning their daughter (or son) for someone who’s possible abusive.

But I don’t know is how much control the father are given with the system your describing? Like others pointed out, how does my father even know who I’m compatible with. And parents aren’t immune to manipulation either.

purplish_possum · 2023-12-29T06:58:58+00:00

LOL!

OP obviously knows little about teenage girls and young women. A parent's stamp of approval is a kiss of death for a suiter.

pssnflwr · 2023-12-29T08:06:22+00:00

yeah based on my parents life choices I’m not taking any advice from them

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-29T08:29:12+00:00

I don’t agree or disagree with this, but if you call something a fact, I expect a source or a study at least. Maybe you should of said ‘it logically makes sense’

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-12-29T08:59:06+00:00

he can’t manipulate you’re dad, because he can‘t sauce him up, because he is a man too.

Your argument seems to rely n the, obviously incorrect, belief that a man can never be fooled by another man.

That being said, it is a good idea for a middle ground where a person takes their families opinion into acount. It would reduce the toxic relationships that people get into becaise the person is hot.

Title	Debate: It is a logical fact that if a Father „helps“ his daughter to find a man, that she will pick better and in fact it is sad that we dismissed that concept.
Author	No_Incident4004
Upvotes	1
Comments	101
Date	December 29, 2023 1:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18ta9ev/debate_it_is_a_logical_fact_that_if_a_father/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/debate-it-is-a-logical-fact-that-if-a-father-helps.1241780 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241780

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