Why aren't large age gap relationships the norm?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-29T14:36:16+00:00

Most people get with people of common interests, values (and education and soci-economic) levels.

So of course the people about 4 years apart are going to have the same music tastes, same experiences at the same time for world events, probably same experiences in school, etc.

or to put it another way “I remember when 9-11 happened and we were so scared.” “Oh! I read about that in history class!” You think these two might have different life perspectives on things?

Katatonicsnake · 2023-12-29T14:47:33+00:00

How does a man’s value increase as they age? Relatively to women’s value or relatively to their own value? Is value just looks, or is it looks combined with other factors? Who are we asking: young women, older women or older men? Does the average man’s value increase enough to take the risk of being a young widow?

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-29T14:45:52+00:00

generally speaking people want someone they can relate to/have things in common with.

JSears90210 · 2023-12-29T14:57:34+00:00

If women's sexual market value is believed to decrease with age, and men's increases,

Men's SMV can increase if they do the right things in life but most often it does not. A 45 year old guy who is overweight, immature/anxiety , lives in a shitty apartment, and had credit card debt, is not magically more attractive than his 25 year old self. 90% of guys (rough estimate) do not improve with age. But for the 10% who do they usually have more options than they did (with women of all ages) than their younger selves.

If you are a guy who thinks you magically are going to attract more women just because you are older well you are wrong. If you are someone who argues that a guy in his late 30s or older who is successful, in good shape, well traveled, and confident, will not have options with women of many ages including some but not all who are 10+ years younger you are incorrect as well. Online dating apps are the best tool ever for older guys who want a wide dating pool of women. It really is incredible how many women have wide dating ranges in large cities.

I would still say that most younger women do not want to date older men but there is a healthy enough % of great women who are open to it that if you are an older guy you will have some options.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-29T14:58:22+00:00

Because most young women think old men are gross

Early_Inspector988 · 2023-12-29T14:59:55+00:00

Because it's all bullshit made to make men above 30 feel better.

wtknight · 2023-12-29T16:30:56+00:00

It's because women aren't as sexually attracted to older men. When young women don't need money as much, they are most attracted to men around their own age.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-12-29T15:09:10+00:00

Because fucking old people isn’t popular?

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-29T17:48:46+00:00

Because young women often aren’t attracted to much older men. That’s why the average age gap in relationships is only 2-3 years.

Chimichanga828 · 2023-12-29T18:41:19+00:00

Because dudes who insist that hot 20 yr olds love balding 40 yr olds are coping

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-29T14:33:40+00:00

Because neither men nor women find those who are significantly older than them attractive or practical to be with. Men only get more valuable to older women with age, women usually like their partners to be the same age (and men usually do too, for that matter, even if people think that younger people look better).

IrrungenWirrungen · 2023-12-29T15:23:20+00:00

Because the majority of people get uglier as they age. Simple.

DarayRaven · 2023-12-29T15:50:58+00:00

Instead the average age gap between couples is 1-3 years.

First point, most people date within their socioeconomic class

Second point, not every man can maximize his SMV potential why do l need to remind people that most men are average and it's gonna stay that way

Safinated · 2023-12-29T18:29:20+00:00

Because women hawt for daddy are a minority

fucksiclepizza · 2023-12-29T20:40:03+00:00

A man's value doesn't increase as he ages, that's delusional.

Namiska99 · 2023-12-29T22:26:21+00:00

When I was 20 (25 now) I used to have a fwb who was 45. Just a hot muscular guy who had aged well and he was very gentlemanly and attentive which gets me going. 0 regrets about that, it was pure win/win. Can't really explain why I have a thing for older men. Heart wants what it wants.

I think an actual relationship would be fine too but men like that who aren't looking for some weird power dynamic are exceedingly rare.

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2023-12-29T15:04:19+00:00

It is a myth that men’s value increases with age. Sure men might become more established and wealthier with age… however most younger women would still pick the attractive young man over a less attractive older man. Physical attractiveness decreases with age for both men and women. Sure there are ways to take care of yourself and age well but we all still age inevitably.

operation-spot · 2023-12-29T14:53:06+00:00

I don’t think a man’s sexual value increases but his material value does. This means that an older man is often chosen because he has money and not because of his looks. I know a lot of y’all want to believe this but it’s simply not true and probably isn’t going to happen to you.

harmonica2 · 2023-12-29T15:02:53+00:00

Instead of making large age gaps than norm, one could say we meant to stop being attracted to men in their 30s just because of status and money if that's the case of men's sexual market value.

Women should judge men's sexual market value based on their youth too instead of their money and status.

harmonica2 · 2023-12-29T15:05:55+00:00

Well some guys on here complain about how women keep going for older guys over them and I don't think a lot of guys are going to like having to wait if age gap relationships became the norm.

qunamax · 2023-12-29T17:22:27+00:00

Simply because they go to different places and rarely cross paths.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-12-29T17:41:57+00:00

Because women still ultimately decide who gets into a relationship; if they don't choose men in the 1st place then those men can't get into a relationship. When men have more power in the dating market (looks, game, money) they will get more opportunity with younger women and more often choose to date younger women because they're higher value to them. Most men don't get an opportunity to do this.

HeartCatchHana · 2023-12-30T00:03:07+00:00

It was and still is the norm in some cultures.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2023-12-30T00:51:04+00:00

Because men are shamed into not dating women significantly younger than them

And modern young women generally do not wanna marry super young

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-12-29T17:34:15+00:00

Because men's doesn't increase. At every age, women are attractes to men slightky opder than themself. It's not as if 50yo men are the equivalent to 22yo women in attractiveness.

GhettoJamesBond · 2023-12-29T14:47:16+00:00

I think it's because many older high value men are more consumed with working overtime than hitting the gym and getting into transactional relationships. Also older men don't have time to waste on dates where they might not get some. They rather have it guaranteed, even if they have to pay a few dollars.

For example I recently heard at work a young girl inviting the younger guys to go on a skiing trip. I can tell that the chances of one of those guys getting some is pretty slim. Those guys might take that chance but I wouldn't go and waste money just for her to not give it up. If i wanted a girl like i that i can probably pay one for less then half the price of the trip. They might take that chance though because they're young and naive.

So the older men/younger women is very much a thing but with sugar relationships.

Relevant-Crew946 · 2024-01-02T02:38:09+00:00

Get off the Internet please.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-12-29T15:01:44+00:00

They are much more common outside the West

McTitty3000 · 2023-12-29T16:37:13+00:00

Because most people tend to date within their social circle even if theyir desires may be elsewhere, my wife is 10 plus years younger than me, in large part because I was kind of willing to step out of my social circle and comfort zone and being a place where I met her in the first place. But just for example if you meet your significant other in college more than likely you're going to be fairly close in age, you might meet them through mutual friends, fairly close in age, you might meet them at a concert depending on the artist you might be fairly close in age so that's really what it comes down to.

Not to mention there is still an attraction threshold, I got no problem with somebody in their 30s dating somebody who's 18 or 19 but have you actually kept up with your appearance , even if you have good money and experience and all that, people still want partners that they desire

mybotisonfire · 2023-12-29T20:12:11+00:00

Because most people date within a few years of their own age, and 5 is pushing it and ten is quite rare?

The_Great_Reset_ · 2023-12-29T14:30:01+00:00

" why young women and girls typically don't choose to date men significantly older then them?"

they used to but feminism tricked them. That is why the go to excuse for a girl to say about a guy dating a younger woman is "you're pedophile".

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boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-29T15:06:48+00:00

Most people date by happenstance. The man or woman works with me. The guy was my neighbor. We were HS sweethearts. Etc. People more so bump into people around their own general age.
Most men are considered low value in terms of SMV and therefore they do not have the ability to date significantly younger easily. A fat old broke man who goes to bed at 8pm is more likely to date whoever he can dare where a more attractive successful older man will have options to then be able to choose if he wants to date younger.

*in terms of older women younger man I'm just going to say no comment.

baiser_vole · 2023-12-29T18:30:35+00:00

This isn’t really from me, but my boyfriend trying to make sense of my lack of attraction for balding men. He thinks it could be a biological cue for what I consider to be deteriorating. I don’t think deteriorating people are seen as hot as much. I dislike wrinkles too. Even if a guy is close to my age, if my brain registers him as deteriorating, I don’t find him attractive.

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-12-29T22:07:52+00:00

Let me share this perspective: older women may not always have the mental appeal to retain young men, and similarly, many older men might lack the financial means to keep younger women interested. This tends to be a common scenario in age-gap couples.

Glittering_File_6990 · 2023-12-29T22:29:25+00:00

uh because it's not the norm. age gap relationships are outliers. most people are attracted to and marry people within the same age range of them. that is natural.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-12-29T22:53:40+00:00

Children. A man who keeps himself up can increase SMV into his early to mid 40s but to be the kind of energetic father most men want to be it's best to start before 35-37.

Also most 22 year old women aren't usually attracted to 40 year olds. The opposite is also true when thinking beyond a ONS. 30 year old men, at least when I was 30 weren't even into 22 year old women for anything substantial, and that's when guys were really looking for substantial.

However, if not for kids I believe you'd see a lot more 38M-28F sort of pairings.

macone235 · 2023-12-30T01:44:44+00:00

Because men also decline with age at a certain point. What sounds better - trading for a 35 year old all-star that has a few good years left before he retires, or a 20 year old who is the next big thing?

Game is also a crucial aspect to attracting women, and because of hypergamy, men are basically in an arm's race where it's developing at an ever rapid-pace fueled by young men. The social skills you needed to talk to women 100 years ago are elementary compared to what you need today.

obviousredflag · 2023-12-30T12:30:15+00:00

Men's SEXUAL market value increases with age? HOW?

NFthrowaway8302021 · 2023-12-30T21:32:09+00:00

Age gap couples are very common. 3-7 years is pretty typical especially as women enter the 25+ range, and even 10-15 year gaps aren't rare either. I've seen gaps as large as 13 years where the guy didn't even look like an older dude. What's rare is seeing couples with large age gaps where the dude is obviously older.

Title	Why aren't large age gap relationships the norm?
Author	Ok-Map-7596
Upvotes	0
Comments	203
Date	December 29, 2023 2:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18tobv1/why_arent_large_age_gap_relationships_the_norm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-arent-large-age-gap-relationships-the-norm.1241815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241815

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