[FEMALE PERSPECTIVE] Signs that a girl will be receptive to approach

-all-that-glitters · 2013-07-25T02:06:48+00:00

I loved this. Informative AND hilarious. Its nice to hear from a females POV. Keep it up. And good luck on your pursuit of the D.

alwaysmoretolearn · 2013-07-24T23:21:30+00:00

For those looking for a TL;DR, all you need to know is

you may proceed to pound town.

is in there somewhere so stop being lazy and read the whole damn thing.

lezzit · 2013-07-25T01:49:24+00:00

As a girl, I have to say this is 90% accurate in my case (aside from that I pee when I need to!) and that I am totally going to teach my friends the "where's Sarah?" bit.

mizu4444 · 2013-07-25T00:18:32+00:00

As a female I'd like to sponsor everything ATG has to say here.

NaturalAFC · 2013-07-24T22:08:21+00:00

Yowza, women sure bring out the haters in this sub. No disrespect /u/the-infinite-jester, but the majority of tips OP pointed out apply to most women. Women know what goes on in clubs; if a women is approaching a man in a club for any reason, it is generally going to be taken as a sign of attraction by guys (regardless of whether it is or not. But we're assuming attraction anyway, right guys??). As OP said, that's why women generally don't approach guys they aren't attracted to in bars. Strong eye contact is one of the main IOIs in bars; some women do the nervous eye movement thing like OP, but you can be sure if you are getting solid eye contact, it's an IOI.

As to the boob smoosh, Jester I'm a little surprised you disregarded this so quickly. Most people are perfectly capable of squeezing by in bars with minimal contact. I'm a fairly attractive man, so I get the boob smoosh a good bit; it's a pretty common way for girls to "approach" from behind. Almost always accompanied with the boob smoosh is a lingering hand on the back/shoulder/arm/etc as she walks away. Personally, I am perceptive so I can tell when it's intentional and when it isn't, but I can see how you may get confused if you aren't as aware. It will generally be pretty obvious.

As a funny aside, one time I was in a large club in Panama city with tons and tons of beautiful people in it. I came with a woman so I wasn't looking for anyone else. Well, that being with a woman and social proof/cat string thing applied so strongly, lol. That's the most times in one night I've been boob smooshed. One girl in particular put her hands on my hips and dragged her entire body across my back. Entirely unneccessary, lol. I just turned around and smiled and laughed.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-07-24T22:42:04+00:00

It seems that -a-t-g is getting some flak from this post and I want you guys to knock it off. I will confirm that most of her comments are confirmed by standard PUA theories.

I want to pick out one thing in particular. I recall Mystery talking about Approach Signals. He described one in particular that I have seen but I never quite understood. He said that a woman will unconsciously signal her receptiveness to approach if she is standing near the edge of a group of women, but has her body facing 90 degrees away from the center of the set. He also said that these women giving signals will usually turn their back towards you, and that this particularly signals their readiness to be approached by you.

So now we have some thoughts on Approach Signals by -a-t-g even though she doesn't know that's a specific thing in PUA theory.

I know that most guys are not likely to make a move when I am in the middle of a four girl deep haggle, listening intently. So, if I’m receptive to being approached, I will position myself on the outskirts of the group, and allow my eyes to wander the club in the hope that someone fancy will catch them. Similarly, when dancing, I may take a bit more of my own space than the rest of the group, and will be a bit more erratic in my positioning (i.e. not always facing towards the middle of the dancing circle). Annoyingly, if you do make eye contact with me, I will almost certainly panic wildly and look away.

OK so not all girls will do this, nor is this a guaranteed signal. But it is common enough that you should approach a woman when you see her do this. The odds are increased in your favor.

Now there is another bit I want to comment on, she says she will

Approach you for LITERALLY ANY BULLSHIT REASON WE CAN THINK OF

Yes, there's a famous anecdote about Mystery in regards to peacocking. He said that women would comment on something like "Hey I like your fuzzy hat" and he would reply, "no you don't, you're attracted to me." I don't know if I'd be quite that bold, but his response is true. If a woman approaches you for very flimsy reasons, she is signalling interest. More than that, she is signaling that she is prepared to meet you more than halfway. Even if your response isn't great, she is willing to help you through the initial stages of meeting and preliminary conversation.

I'm not going to go through -a-t-g's response point by point, but I do assure you skeptical guys and girls that her observations and analyses are confirmed by standard theories going back to the Mystery Method and before.

TheBingage · 2013-07-25T03:46:38+00:00

You are a gift to Seddit.

Amazing.

INomYou · 2013-07-25T00:00:51+00:00

My friends and I just drop the word boyfriend into the discussion if we're not interested. If more than one of us is interested, then the competitive flirting and subtle backstabbing begins.

BigGeek43 · 2013-07-24T21:17:51+00:00

I loved your post and hated myself... when I realized just last saturday as I was walking towards the club a girl asked me a what I thought extremely silly question "do you know where is blah blah...". I looked at her like "what a silly girl" to which she shouted "it's a bar". Another time I saw a girl I saw before (not very attracted to her) and this time she had a friend with her - petite gorgeous girl. They said they're going for a smoke and this girl not even knowing me asked me for a light. And ... I replied, "No, I don't smoke, I'm a health freak..." Somebody, smack me for what a stupid idiot I am. Thank you -all-that-glitters. Your posts are awesome and very helpful, you're smart. Which is a huge turn on. And you're not "moderately attractive", but drop dead gorgeous. Keep those post coming. Feedback is very important.

DamnBiggun · 2013-07-25T00:44:00+00:00

You are funny and intelligent; keep writing - we need it.

Daboogadooga · 2013-07-25T02:42:23+00:00

This is fucking hilarious and awesome. Great post. I'm about to go and read all of your other posts now because I was forced to read this aloud to my roommates. Keep them coming! (innuendo intended)

postemporary · 2013-07-25T02:22:42+00:00

I'm gonna miss you, attractive-brain-and-super-helpful girl.

2013-07-24T21:16:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

-all-that-glitters · 2013-07-25T08:37:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

INomYou · 2013-07-25T02:00:07+00:00

If you don't write a book, I will personally fly to the UK and spank you mightily for failing mankind.

PS: ~~Marry~~ Do me.

puntingbaxter · 2013-07-24T21:08:32+00:00

Girls orbit as well.

n1cey · 2013-07-24T21:14:20+00:00

/u/-all-that-glitters you are on fire lately fine madam. Take my upvotes, well deserved.

NomadicHerdsman · 2013-07-24T23:04:52+00:00

I....love you?

2013-07-25T04:25:01+00:00

Thanks, always learn something from your posts

kosmiciatakuja · 2013-07-25T09:09:41+00:00

I love your posts. 10/10, would read again! You have a talent for writing, do more of it :)

absolutedesignz · 2013-07-25T09:41:12+00:00

ITT I learned that I am still pretty naive.

Link_GR · 2013-07-25T11:49:44+00:00

You have become one of my favorite posters here. Awesome work!

carBoard · 2013-07-25T14:01:29+00:00

so as a non-smoker if I am asked for a light what should be a the response to try and engage with the girl rather than just a "no"

gutenwho · 2013-07-25T16:05:18+00:00

This is the funniest seddit post I've ever seen

hotvision · 2013-07-27T20:12:29+00:00

This is wonderful. I remember when the seduction game was just a bunch of loser dudes sharing their experiences, in the hopes of helping their brethren. We would reject female perspective as the enemy.

Now females are learning the game, and joining this community in the hopes of also helping us men, which in turn will help them as well. Allowing the community to be filled with perspective from both sides of the coin. Humanity can be beautiful.

Thanks for sharing OP, this was helpful.

General_Awesome · 2013-07-24T20:48:39+00:00

Things sneaky bitches do to sneak their way onto your penis

but I always assume attraction, I'm the one who chooses who can get on my penis, not the other way

Gamion · 2013-07-25T01:21:34+00:00

So basically women in groups are their own worst deterrent to getting laid?

the-infinite-jester · 2013-07-24T20:10:30+00:00

wow, as a female I'm pretty shocked by all of this. Sometimes I dance on the outside of a group because I'm a clumsy dancer and I don't want to smack a friend by accident. I would be pretty upset if this were misinterpreted as an open invitation to 'pound town'.

I also think it's perfectly normal to scan a club, especially if you've never been there before and you're trying to locate the bathroom/ empty spot on the dance floor/ empty spot at the bar/ easy route to the DJ to request a new song/ see if you know anyone there/ etc.

And if I've been separated from my friends and am looking for the smoking area, I'll ask the first person who looks like they might know. I'm not sure it's fair to give someone permission to assume that I have purposefully lost my friends 'hunting for the D' and am only asking a stupid question because I really want to get super laid.

I also feel like this is really condescending to the men who are on here trying to boost their self-confidence. You're kind of putting yourself on this all-knowing pedestal and expecting way too much from the dude. If you're so confident, and your only purpose is to get laid that night, why wouldn't you just go up to a guy you think is cute and not act like a character from One Tree Hill about it? I think one thing both sexes can appreciate is a direct and honest 'let's dance' over surreptitiously smooshing your boobs on his sweaty back when he's trying to get his dance on to a Macklemore remix and expecting him to take such a ridiculous hint that that means you want to talk to him.

Mofromtheco · 2013-07-24T21:19:09+00:00

I can understand why some here have the opinions they have, but its nice to hear a different side of the story. Like any advice, this should be taken in one's own way and not treated as information applicable in all situations.

I enjoy your posts. You have my respect as long as you can respect this community.

blondedre3000 · 2013-07-25T04:18:48+00:00

Damn bitch, all these rules!!!

InternetFree · 2013-07-25T18:39:25+00:00

asking for a sip of your drink

This happens constantly.

I guess all women ever sitting around me want my D, including my cousin and my sister.

ChauNguyen · 2013-07-24T23:53:49+00:00

I love this post.

It's one thing to make certain observations from a guy's point of view, but it's much better to actually hear what a woman is thinking.

People shouldn't focus on whether the advice is wrong or right. A much better approach is to just become aware of what a woman may be thinking.

Stythe · 2013-07-25T05:26:12+00:00

I enjoy your writing style.

2013-07-25T06:06:32+00:00

Great post and thank you for contributing!! It is refreshing to get some input from a woman that resounds with the common PUA advice.

seekingalpha23 · 2013-07-25T06:09:10+00:00

K-closed a girl at a club two weeks ago that stood on the edge of her group. Didnt even cross my mind that she was showing her receptiveness by doing that. It makes sense now. Thanks OP I will definitely keep this in mind now.

2013-07-25T07:09:31+00:00

Man keep flooding, feed us all the arsenal you can lol

Swear, it's a whole different ball game with women

yokhai · 2013-07-25T10:06:44+00:00

For some reason I read "do you have a light?" and "have you seen the light?"

2013-07-25T12:13:55+00:00

That was a very interesting and funny read. Thank you.

yokhai · 2013-07-25T12:56:25+00:00

So where is the registration for you to be a wingwoman? Sign me the fuck up!

I love your writing style and advice. It's really nice to see a woman being able to breakdown her behavior and shine some lights on things.

Good shit.

2013-07-25T16:28:22+00:00

These. Posts. Are. Fucking. Gold.

typtyphus · 2013-07-25T16:59:14+00:00

reading this.. I'm slowly seeing how much went over my head.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2013-07-25T18:23:54+00:00

Oh God Damn this is gold. I need to get my ass out to clubs again

dongnasty · 2013-07-25T18:46:29+00:00

Excellent post. I highly recommend to anyone who appreciated this post to read up on body language and subtle communication. Body language can tell a man so much about a woman and her intentions. She may never actually say what she wants but her body will always tell you what she wants. You can even use this outside of dating with your significant other.

2013-07-25T20:04:12+00:00

fuck. I'm nauseous. *flashbacks to the many times women have asked me for a light/the time/etc and I've cheerfully obliged.

Aradiel · 2013-07-25T20:41:17+00:00

I greatly appreciate your insight.

Quick question, since you're a fellow Brit, do you find it hard to hear people in clubs/bars?

TBH it's something that annoys me a bit about the inevitable American-centric PUA advice - from what I can tell, their definitions of bars and clubs tend to be very different from ours (then again, since you're in London, it may be more like their scene, unlike up north)

Dr-JanItor · 2013-07-25T21:42:45+00:00

Hope you don't bail. These have been informative and entertaining as fuck to read.

pschr · 2013-07-26T10:35:42+00:00

Great stuff! I did laugh profusely at the line: "She is doing this for no reason other than she wants you inside her. In her vagina." The way you specified just made it better. Love your posts!

rustypete89 · 2013-07-26T18:12:45+00:00

Could you elaborate and give some insight on what IOIs one might watch for in a professional/academic environment? As well as how the girl would want him to respond, generally.

2013-08-13T21:32:35+00:00

Outside of the club and nightlife thing, what do you think about being indirect vs direct? Indirect is oftentimes more than necessary as you emphasize here but what about elsewhere (for those guys who dont like clubs or bars)

-all-that-glitters · 2013-07-24T20:47:04+00:00

This is useful advice to a point but stuff like this makes me question what approach I should be taking in a club, should I be treating it like an art and just having fun whilst try to strike organic conversations or should I notice all these signs and things that women do in an almost scientific matter?

seiken287 · 2013-07-25T13:17:35+00:00

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whatsgoodfx · 2013-07-25T01:57:09+00:00

Girl, I'd be a beta to keep you anyday.

kungfutitties · 2013-07-25T09:53:34+00:00

Ultimate r/seduction challenge: pick up A-T-G over reddit.

I bet none of you so-called "PUA'S" can do it!

TeaStainsAndTobacco · 2013-07-25T06:15:27+00:00

You're clearly an intelligent and informative woman, but one thing we should all keep in mind is the saying that I've seen on here before: "You don't ask a fish how to catch another fish."

And don't take it to be condescending, because what I see in that saying is that there is some element of subconscious behavior by which you are governed. It is impossible to be fully self-aware of all of your behavioral intricacies, (i.e. your body movements, voice intonations, facial expressions, etc.)

I think that the female perspective is important, but someone who has lots of experience and success with pick-up can probably analyze more layers and dimensions to the seduction process.

-all-that-glitters · 2013-07-24T19:58:28+00:00

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MacinTez · 2013-07-25T02:11:53+00:00

This only confirms that there is no ONE universal way to approach a woman...It's too much variety out there so it varies. Practice being humble, have some humility, and don't treat her like a "fuck toy". If she likes you, cool. If she doesn't, tell her you appreciate her time and that you won't bother her for the rest of her evening (if you want to be swave, you can add "but you're really hot and I wish I could have gotten to know you better", and maybe send her a drink afterwards). Learning how to deal with rejection will help you to learn how to handle success. Persevere dudes...

thekick886 · 2013-07-25T09:21:35+00:00

I can tell from the way you write that you must be one the coolest girl ever lived.

2013-07-25T12:42:58+00:00

y'know. I've never really understood these social intricacies. They seem so complicated and foreign to me. I usually just let girls approach me, but I don't go to clubs, so that almost never happens. I don't really want to socialize at a place I don't feel comfortable in, namely: clubs. The music is loud, too many drunks, too many dudes. I don't get why we can't just go up to a person and say: "Hey, I find you attractive, wanna talk some more?" in any situation. And not even blatantly say that, but make it a little more obvious than just a nervous stare, or asking the time. Ask me for the time, and I'll give it to you, then go about my business. Nonetheless, I'm saving this post.

theTALC · 2013-07-25T17:22:26+00:00

So regardless of the quality of your advice (which by my estimation is at least passable), you are a great writer! Very entertaining and well thought out. Thanks.

laccro · 2013-07-25T15:42:29+00:00

You should write a book. Not necessarily about this, but about something. You have an amazing writing style.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-07-25T16:09:18+00:00

This is dangerous advice.

Sure OP, you do all this stuff...but you're also the type to post on a seduction forum. You're confident and you "get it". You are like .005 % of women! Taking this advice is like two bass trying to eat each other.

Of course, we assume that most, if not all chicks in a club are DTF, but most women (this information coming from lots of experience opening and from my best female friends) are naive enough to think that sitting patiently in a tight circle staring at their iPhones is how to get approached. They truly think that a really great, non-player type of guy is going to just walk up to one of them and be like "I CHOOSE YOU!" and sweep them off their feet. Some of them ask me for advice on why men don't approach them, and I try to suggest everything you suggest, but, despite being very intelligent women, they just cant internalize the concept. This is great advice for chicks, but terrible for men.

So please gentlemen...take this advice with a huge grain of salt. You'll do so much better with all women (including the chicks like OP who actually "get it") if you have the confidence to ignore the obvious targets and break the circles.

Edit: After reading some of the supportive comments in this thread, I'm frankly quite appalled. Why don't we just start suggesting that newbs go out and buy prostitutes? Christ. Is this seduction or deer-blind hunting?

-all-that-glitters · 2013-07-24T21:02:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-07-25T00:46:05+00:00

I like you, but the thing is you wouldn't like me.

Title	[FEMALE PERSPECTIVE] Signs that a girl will be receptive to approach
Author	-all-that-glitters
Upvotes	1034
Comments	197
Date	July 24, 2013 7:31 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1iz5l9/female_perspective_signs_that_a_girl_will_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/female-perspective-signs-that-a-girl-will-be.1355834 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355834

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