What exactly do women mourn after a heartbreak?

kjk67895 · 2024-03-25T17:53:45+00:00

You ain’t ever mourned the loss of something? Could answer this yourself.

ReplacementPasta · 2024-03-25T17:29:26+00:00

I would imagine it is pretty much the same thing that guys do.

Bekiala · 2024-03-25T17:44:48+00:00

I doubt women mourn any differently than men. We may be less likely to kill our EX's but anger has been part of my grief at the end of a relationship and is probably part of other women's grief too. It is just being human.

I absolutely do want the best for people I have been in a relationship with but other women probably don't. It is individual of course.

Sweetheart_04 · 2024-03-25T17:47:10+00:00

I broke up with a guy as it was long distance and wasn't going anywhere. I felt very depressed for a while, and I miss him for who he was, not what he provided me. Your question is asking whether women feel basic human empathy and doubting their ability to like people which I find concerning.

el-zacharoo · 2024-03-25T18:07:50+00:00

This whole sub is beginning to scream social retardation

Hotsexygirl9 · 2024-03-25T17:34:05+00:00

Every heartbreak i had i mourned the man i thought i fell in love with in the beginning and the potential of what we couldve been.

literaryhogwartian · 2024-03-25T17:47:18+00:00

How is a sense of humour something provided? That's part of the person's personality

spanglesandbambi · 2024-03-25T17:41:38+00:00

For real thats the question, perhaps this might come as news to you but women are human and deal with heartbreak in similar ways to men as heartbreak is non gendered.

I can't with this sub, this best be satire.

HomeworkFew2187 · 2024-03-25T17:40:32+00:00

everything a man can "provide" a women can either get herself or doesn't need.

this is a hard concept for this sub to internalize.

People get into (healthy)relationships because they want to be with eachother, they care about their partner.and losing them for whatever reason will hurt

RelativeYak7 · 2024-03-25T17:53:05+00:00

This reads to me as projection about you and your own motivations. It's very ugly and reveals a lot about you.

RosieBarb · 2024-03-25T17:39:07+00:00

"This question is an extension to women not really caring for their boyfriend / husband's mental health. If they do care, there is usually a self-presevation reason. For example, many women who write about them worrying about their man's mental health usually append the fact that they cannot deal with his poor mental health. Another reason this question comes up is because women never seem to care about the guy after the breakup - they instead become vindictive and would destroy him if they could get away with it"

Where are you getting this crap??

aspiringgamecoder · 2024-03-25T17:29:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

spicytuna12391 · 2024-03-25T19:52:47+00:00

I mourn the time I wasted.

Immature brats become vindictive. Mature women move on from a breakup.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-03-25T19:29:56+00:00

Well I typically return to my home planet with the samples I collected, which I then regurgitate into the hive for assimilation…

But everyone’s different.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-03-25T18:14:15+00:00

We mourn a lot of things - the good times in the relationship, what could have been, if the person has changed greatly for the worse, we mourn the person they used to be. Breakups suck, you don't go into a relationship thinking about leaving the person or even ending the relationship on bad terms. It's always sad when a relationship ends, even if it was an overall bad one, because it wasn't always bad, you had good times, it was probably great at the start, and things slowly turned sour.

Totally unrelated to the question but I swear, I'm like 90% sure OP was that dude from a couple of months back who was incredibly paranoid about his very hypothetical future gf cheating on him, now he's just moved on to being paranoid about all women being gold diggers.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-25T19:11:53+00:00

if they broke up with me I mourned the loss of the man himself because I was still in my feels, if I broke up with him I never mourned because he killed my love before i broke up

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-25T17:58:14+00:00

From what I've seen around me people mourn the loss of a person they loved, the loss of all time and efforts they put into their relationships and the loss of the future with this person. If you want to to a mental gymnastics and say that in reality all of them just mourn the loss of things they were provided, then it's true for both genders. But calling love, friendships, emotional support etc. "things" is a rather crude way to put it. Human beings aren't robots and what we provide to people around us is inherently linked to our personality and us themselves.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-03-25T20:12:48+00:00

Honestly dude, judging from your posts you are far too socially clueless and paranoid to have any chance at dating a woman, so don’t even bother

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Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-25T19:26:56+00:00

The person I love for HIM as a person and genuinely care for.

2024-03-25T20:33:49+00:00

I can only speak from personal experience. I mourn the person, their personality, being with them, feeling loved, their smile/laugh, the sex to a lesser extent but that is part of it too. It’s never had anything to do with “status” or money for me, but I provide for myself so there’s never been any reason to mourn the material aspect of a relationship in my eyes. I don’t view relationships that way.

Think about what you miss after a break up— it’s probably really, really similar to what most women feel. We’re all just humans, after all. I think heartbreak is a universal feeling but we might show it differently than men.

The_Hyperbolist · 2024-03-25T21:57:07+00:00

I subscribed to this sub out of curiosity. Every day I see misogyny here I feel the urge to argue with, but I know it isn't a good use of my time. But here I am about to take the bait. Maybe it's because I'm an actual human woman mourning a breakup right now or maybe I just can't believe there are people out there moving through the world with this attitude.

This post is honestly fucking ridiculous and this worldview is going to make it impossible for you to be a functioning member of society.

You post in here often with what you're trying to frame as philosophical debates, but they are dripping with bias against and disrespect toward women. When you write phrases like, "women never seem to care about the guy after the breakup" or when you say women caring for their partner's mental health is "usually a self-preservation reason," or when you question whether women actually care for their exes, you reveal not only your disdain for women, but also that you either don't truly know any women and/or the interactions with the ones you do know have been surface level at best. This is a problem.

You're an individual with free will, and you can continue to hate women for the rest of your days if that's what you choose to do, but you should know that you will never have a healthy or satisfying relationship if this is how you approach the world. Know that whatever situation you think you're in re: dating and the ability to have relationships with women, it isn't them, it's you and this shitty outlook. Further, you will probably need or want to have non-romantic relationships with women someday--through family or work or friendships--and this attitude is going to fuck those relationships up as well.

I say this with all the care and concern I can have in my heart for a misogynistic stranger: Please get help. Find a therapist to talk to about this. It is clear that some interaction with some woman at some point has made you unbearably bitter and angry. And that sucks, and I hope you can recover, but you are misdirecting your feelings, and it's going to hurt you in every aspect of your life that involves other people.

To answer your (ridiculous, biased, misogynistic, offensive) question: women mourn relationships the same way everyone does: differently, depending on who they are and the character of the specific relationship. This pain is genuine and can be intense. This might include mourning the loss of that person in your life, and all of the joy you found in their companionship. It might include mourning for an envisioned future that will never come to pass, and all the possibilities you hoped for in it. It might include sadness for the lost intimacy that you may have enjoyed emotionally and physically together. The abrupt departure of someone you still care about deeply brings its own kind of pain. Women, like other humans, may still care deeply for their former partners even after a relationship ends. Having that love and concern without the closeness or connection to act on it can be its own brand of devastating.

Safinated · 2024-03-25T22:49:47+00:00

We all mourn the loss of our prey. We all do it in the same way, by not caring. Or worrying. Or by being vindictive. Or by ruining his life.

I don’t know, but it’s all the same. Very simple, no deviations or variations

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-25T23:41:50+00:00

All of the above. Just like men. You are losing a person and a life.

Khanluka · 2024-03-26T00:09:30+00:00

I think this counts for both men and woman you mourn the time and effort you spend into the relionship.

As it in the end was a waste both your time and effort you put into it.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-03-26T01:07:18+00:00

The other half of “be yourself” should be “because you probably can’t convincingly pull off being someone else”

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-26T03:11:46+00:00

This is another 'why can't I be loved unconditionally?' post in disguise. You cannot really separate out the qualities in a lover the way the OP wants. Looked at from a certain angle, pretty much anything we do is self-interested. Do you miss him apart from what he provided? How about, 'Do you miss her, but imagine she was a 500 lbs. land whale who was burned in a house fire?'

We do build up something akin to true, non-self interested love over time. It builds in the joints and the spaces around our primal instincts. It wouldn't have built if certain instinctive requirements had not been met, no. And if those requirements cease being met, sometimes that loves dissolves, or it stays, but is not enough to keep the relationship alive. But that true love that builds over time and shared adventures and challenges and triumphs is real.

Both men and women can get truly hung up or infatuated or fall truly in love. But yeah, women probably evolved to get over things faster since they had to operate through men. And they had less agency in their romantic lives--sometimes the neighboring tribe attacked, won, and now you have a new husband. Still, there is not some massive difference. Both genders can mourn lost loves.

sfree407 · 2024-03-26T08:53:11+00:00

My husband passed away two years ago when he was only 43. I still mourn the loss of every little thing about him. Mostly I just desperately miss him - I could care less about the money or status or “idea of love”. My friends and family have started pushing me to get back out there and start dating again but I have zero interest.

My point being…If a person - male or female - really loves someone they are going to mourn the person, not silly superficial things.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-03-25T18:49:33+00:00

I keep seeing you talk about what a man provides vs his physical self or him specifically. Men can never provide enough of do enough to be a factor once a woman has decided he’s not worth it.

His character, actions and behavior get men left.

When I leave a man, I never think of them again. I send an email to friends to not ask me about him or give me updates on him. I tell his family we are broken up and I won’t be continuing a relationship with them. I dated one man with kids and I told the kids that daddy and I are no longer together.

When I break up with you, if I see you homeless on the street about to be eaten by lions, I will literally not care. The lion can have you.

I keep no emotional attachment to a man who is no longer my partner. They are an ex and have no bearing on my life short of the lessons I learned from being with them.

I have never had a man buy me anything I couldn’t purchase twice for myself, I have never moved into a man’s house.

So no I don’t think of them when they are gone.

apresonly · 2024-03-26T14:49:00+00:00

> Do women mourn the loss of things they gained from the relationship. Like the guy's humour, a friendship, the sex, the money, the status, the idea of love etc

hahaha i litereally LOLed at the idea of "missing a guys humor" 😂

of all the things to miss about a guy his humor is not one of them

men's humor is an obstacle to overcome in loving them, not a selling point

i miss cuddles and hooking up feeling close/intimate with him and i miss having someone to chitchat with while I'm cooking or someone to discuss a movie with.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-03-25T17:33:17+00:00

They usually mourn the companionship, the sex, the money but most of all they would mourn if they guy found someone better than her.

TheDerInDisorder · 2024-03-25T18:01:48+00:00

Be fair, only a little more than half of women will try to ruthlessly destroy their former partners with campaigns of gang stalking, character assassination, property destruction, and assault. That's like, forty, forty-five percent of women that might be safe.

Title	What exactly do women mourn after a heartbreak?
Author	aspiringgamecoder
Upvotes	0
Comments	194
Date	March 25, 2024 5:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bnjfr4/what_exactly_do_women_mourn_after_a_heartbreak/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-exactly-do-women-mourn-after-a-heartbreak.1513082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513082

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