Has a Redpill concept ever protected or broken your heart in dating?

illusoryfindings · 2024-03-31T15:31:57+00:00

It broke my heart, the long way round.

I saw immediate success after discovering the red pill. I was a shy, socially awkward, chubby, baby-faced 19 year old dude with literally 0 friends. A completely isolated shut-in, riddled with anxiety. Then I swallowed the pill.

It was the personality changes at first. I acted confident, assertive, decisive, aloof, stoic, mysterious. I became more of an initiator, speaking to random people and inviting them to things, and I maintained a playfully amused mindset at all times.

This was about a month in, I had 0 of these traits in reality. Yet it instantly started getting me laid.

I was just acting. Talking to people with my heart thumping in my chest, fighting off panic attacks while pretending to be smooth like James Bond. I'd often come home and cry because it was emotionally overwhelming, even when the experiences were positive.

Frame, agree and amplify, navigating shit tests and comfort tests, social proof, hypergamy, dread game, kino, SMV & RMV, AF/BB. I found all of these red pill concepts to be true, and all of the tactics to work, and this was while I was still chubby and still being initially spoken to like I was a harmless little kid by the women I'd approach.

This instant positive feedback is what convinced me I had found a pot of gold. When my gym progress came in, the effectiveness and results skyrocketed.

In the space of about a year or two I went from autistic basement-dwelling porn and video game addict, to chadlite. Lots of new friends, a roster of fwbs, and confidence from playing the 'normie' game of life better than most normies.

I was always afraid of the world due to insane levels of anxiety and neuroticism. Now I knew I could take the world on and still win despite no one being on my side or truly understanding me. I felt extremely powerful because I truly became a master of my domain. Felt extremely horny 24/7 too lmfao

So why did it break my heart? After all this success, I should finally be happy.

It broke my heart because I realized my expectations of what a romantic relationship should be like were completely misguided.

I'm a man with a lot of trauma and mental health issues. Deep down inside me there's a wounded little boy who just wants his parents to love and reassure him, and at some point growing up I concluded if I can't get this from my parents, maybe I can get it from romance.

When you subconsciously expect your woman to act as a kind of replacement mommy or best friend to gossip with, it's a recipe for disaster. The dynamic gets weird, you take each other for granted, she loses attraction. Your misguided expectations guarantee disappointment for both of you down the line. From the second you meet it's doomed and neither of you even know it yet.

The heartbreak came from having to let go of that dreamy idea of a relationship I thought could heal me. I realized I had to be my own parent, my own father and mother, and do my best to provide that sense of love to myself because when you have this need as a man, women don't like you. It's not attractive, self-actualized behavior.

I had to accept the fact that I'm always going to feel lonely with this, people will only value me based on what I can provide, and that most people aren't going to help me. Even with the red pill itself, internet people say it doesn't work, yet out in the world you can see it play out, it's just subconscious for most people. I was actively dissuaded from looking into it by the majority, yet when I took a risk and implemented it, it paid off in a huge way. This ended up making me extremely sceptical and cautious about people giving me any sort of help, and warnings about stuff make me want to look deeper.

purplish_possum · 2024-03-31T15:13:25+00:00

Once you take TRP and realize that women are what they are and that they aren't going to change it's kinda liberating. You accept women for what they are -- not what you'd like them to be. Of course you have to plan accordingly and protect yourself.

Obtainable20 · 2024-03-31T15:09:31+00:00

I used to read RP stuff when I was as young as like 15. Unrestricted internet access ftw. But, seriously, I wasn't able to apply most RP stuff growing up because I was still maidenless.

As I got older, I just realized that most RP stuff is just things that men already believe IRL just packaged up in a much more extreme and scare the hoes away version of it. I also distanced myself from it once I realized that lots of dudes on that sub actually hated women. Getting therapy also helped me let a lot of that stuff go.

Have you ever had your heart broken and seen in hindsight that Redpill was right all along?

Nah. Every time a woman did something sus to me, I never thought of TRP.

I just wanted to be loved.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-04-01T19:29:55+00:00

I can't say I found success in the applying the redpill idiology because I am still on my way in becoming or trying to become a HV man, but I do feel much better about myself and feel more confident about myself.

I am a 33 year old man who never had a gf or even one hook up. If I hadn't been going to escorts I would've been a 33 year old virgin. I am a short man, 5'3 with a face of your average high school nerd, shy, awkward, lonely, loves video games. I was bullied in school, ignored by girls and humiliated by them. Once I reached adulthood I thought my luck in women would change and that my kind personality will definetly get me a gf, after all, every woman I encountered said that they love men with kind personalities. I also became more socialble and more approachable, even developed a really good sense of humor, after all, every girl says they love men with humor. How wrong I was, same thing happened like in school: totally and utterly ignored by women, sometimes had disgust looks too. However I met this one girl at work, let's call her Michelle. Now we worked in the same mall, she was in one section, I was in another, but we met and we started to visit each other. We became close friends after finding out how much we have in common but she had a bf, although she said she wanted to break up with him. I thought that all I had to do was playing the waiting game hoping she will want to be with me. However, all she did was using me: financially and emotionally. She would ask me to pay some stuff for her because she had no money, she always was talking to me about her problems how she just wants to be loved and find the right man for her and so on. I pointed out and gave hints that we could be a good match together, but all she did was either brushing it off or suggest that I am just not her type. Whenever I was distancing myself from her however she would come back to me, talking to me and gibing me false hope that we wil lbe together. She just wanted my shoulder to cry on and more of my financial support. This abuse has been going on for 2 years until I finally had it, told her my true feeling and how I felt she was using me. She was gaslighting of course, saying that she is the victim in all of this and that all I see her is a peace of meat, which is not true at all.

We haven't talked since then, but I truly loved her and did everything for her to make things work between us. But she just wasn't attracted to me, and any other girl wasn't attracted to me. No matter who I was, how kind I was or how funny I was, I just was never enough because of my god damn short body.

Redpill made me realise that this is how women are, that I shouldn't be mad at their preferences like I shouldn't be mad at a lion eating a zebra. This is in their DNA, to go after the most alfa of men and I ain't it and I have to accept it. Is it unfair? Yes. Can I do anything to change this? No, all I can do is change myself and gain status and money so much that even hot women will start seeing me. After all, no woman can ever ignore a man if he is rich with a fancy car.

PlainTundra · 2024-03-31T14:12:18+00:00

Not in dating but in general. I don't try to offer solutions when women tell their problems unless they specifically ask for them and even that I don't seriously think about what they could do to solve them. I disconnect my brain, nod time to time and say stuff like "yeah, it sucks", "damn", "pffff"...

DarayRaven · 2024-03-31T15:13:14+00:00

Have you ever had your heart broken and seen in hindsight that Redpill was right all along? Tell us the story

All the bad emotional things l've experienced has been over my bluepill thinking

MaterialTemperature9 · 2024-03-31T19:28:13+00:00

Not really a broken heart, but I got really cynical at one point. I was coming out of an LTR and just wanted to hookup and keep it casual. Who wants to hookup? Cheaters. Messed-up women. Women in dubious open relationships. Female players. All the redpill type horror stories. I started thinking if you're just going to get cheated on, why be monogamous in the first place? Enough women are willing to be the sidepiece.

Fortunately, I have a number of female friends who aren't running around doing this shit, and I realized I was being an asshole by fucking around, so when I met the right person I got back to bluepill normie space.

rma5690 · 2024-03-31T14:16:11+00:00

No, cause I didn't have to "apply" red pill concepts. More like, I have a lived experience that I later found out was condensed into something people online called "red pill".

Barely-moral · 2024-03-31T14:01:21+00:00

I had success by applying the RP principle that says to treat/consider women as the oldest teenager in the house instead of a fully adult human being.

Both my partner and I are happier since then.

I don't have to deal with the frustration that comes with expecting adult reactions and responsibilities from her. She feels more contained and supported.

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-03-31T15:25:36+00:00

I think a lot of the surface-level advice in the redpill is very useful (especially the gym/style combo). I was doing that stuff already but here is some PUA/redpill coach advice that helped me with dating:

Never chase anyone or try to force feelings. This was a big problem for me initially, it was such a relief when I realized the right move was to instantly move on when I felt my effort wasn't reciprocated.
Dating is about effectively selling yourself, not about being as honest as possible.
Until you are in a relationship always be exploring new options. This took a lot of stress off the courting process.

Other than that I don't follow much redpill dating strategy. Those 3 pieces of advice helped me immensely though.

Virtual_Piece · 2024-03-31T15:40:52+00:00

From the comments so far, it does work just don't lean too much into it

wtknight · 2024-03-31T15:10:08+00:00

No. In fact I had a relationship not work out because I was "not beta enough". If a man wants actual relationships and not just to have sexual fun with women, then he needs to have some beta traits that make him seem like a reliable partner along with the alpha ones.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-03-31T13:46:31+00:00

The in 12 years the only thing RP has done is gotten perpetually online dudes to talk about the red pill online.

one_time_animal · 2024-03-31T16:48:50+00:00

They've only broken my heart in the sense that they're so effective they've made girls that wouldn't have been interested otherwise interested, interested, and ultimately fumbling that was pretty painful.

Specifically I found someone that I knew I'd only ever be able to love and because I was red pill aware I didn't do anything that blue pill me would have done. Honestly I'm a little proud of myself for how I acted in that situation (you know, other than developing oneitis) years later looking back and I'm horrified at how I acted towards girls I liked in blue pill times

just_a_place · 2024-04-01T06:00:13+00:00

There are two axioms in Red Pill knowledge that have really struck me for life because I have experienced them for myself; and because of the profound truth they hold along with all of the implications:

You can either love women or you can understand them; but you cannot do both.
Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved on the condition that they provide something.

Both broke my heart when I figured them out - again, for myself. I cannot even say I am jaded or cynical about women when I came to truly understand them. The emotion I feel is that of a deep - life changing - regret and sadness. As if I have been deeply betrayed and stabbed in the back and chest. Words are completely inept at conveying the depth of the change that has happened in my heart and mind.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-31T20:30:07+00:00

Redpill wasn't around when I was a teenager dating. All I have is my own experiences and seeing how women reacted to my behavior. The best thing I had was an older friend (about 5 years older) who guided me during my dating years right after high school.

My first long term girlfriend (we had been dating almost 2 years) dumped me when I was vulnerable with her for the first time. Like I was vulnerable with her, and there was an immediate shift in how she felt about me and then dumped me a few days later. I know a ton of redpilled guys have an experience like this, this isn't just a 1 in a million thing.

After adjusting for that and changing my mindset towards women, I saw a lot more success. Giving "less fucks" really makes women want you more. I know it is counter-intuitive but it works.

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John-Nada_ · 2024-04-01T10:47:29+00:00

Everything TRP said came true, like the deep stuff not low hanging fruit rage bait content that ppl usually think TRP is.

The 5 stages of a relationship by Joseph south is real and understanding it can absolutely save you a lotta problems in advance. But you have to be ok when the problems still occur, and it makes sense why women rather tend to get out of relationships than to stay in one.

But ultimately, the endgame of TRP isn’t what everyone think it is, it’s not six pacs and lamborginis, it’s resolve.

Competitive-Ask4393 · 2024-04-01T11:25:22+00:00

A few

Monkey branching, alpha fucks beta bux, alpha widow, keeping a masculine frame etc have saved me from terrible women and have also shown me some amazing women I've made sure not to break their heart when I bounce.

A lot of the general concepts that have stuck around from it's inception to now are genuine, great advice every man should learn but there's a whole heap of shit surrounding it.

10 - 20% of red pill advice is good, remaining 80% is bad

Title	Has a Redpill concept ever protected or broken your heart in dating?
Author	aspiringgamecoder
Upvotes	37
Comments	180
Date	March 31, 2024 1:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bsar3r/has_a_redpill_concept_ever_protected_or_broken/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-a-redpill-concept-ever-protected-or-broken.1513434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513434

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