Wife said to husband "I'll just fuck someone else"

Realistic_Code_6127 · 2024-07-30T03:24:33+00:00

Look dude. Get rid of this woman; but in general hit the gym a bit and put some effort into your appearance. it’s only difficult the first couple of weeks then it becomes second nature. As men, we want our women to remain attractive, but it’s sure as shit not fair if we start looking like Jabba the Hut.

ConcentrateVast2356 · 2024-07-29T13:42:14+00:00

Having seen your screenshots/comments from other subs. Your wife wants to fuck you. Let's take what she said literally. She prefers fucking someone else to no intimacy whatsoever. But her preference is you. You can take this however way you want. If this feels like cheating to you, or confessing to an intention, go leave her, find someone else. Find someone who, faced with the same situation as your wife will.. what, exactly? Do the mature thing and, well, leave you without making empty threats?

It's really up to you to decide. For myself I have to say loyalty in marriage does not mean a vow of celibacy. Irrespective of gender. The commitment not to be with another person comes paired with a commitment to be with my partner. That doesn't mean, issues can't arise, but you still owe your partner to put in some effort. If my partner stopped trying I'd view it as a disloyalty same as if she were doing someone else. Maybe controversial, but it's how I feel.

Having seen other comments here, I'd say it's all excellent life advise.. for winning at divorce. But should that be your goal?

ryrobins · 2024-07-29T06:07:52+00:00

Imagine giving up half your stuff and damaging your child's sense of family because you don't want to practice personal hygiene.

itz_the_ADHD · 2024-07-29T02:48:15+00:00

My guy. You don’t want to be a divorced man. A divorced dad. It sucks. I hated being divorced.

Thatoneguy5555555 · 2024-07-29T00:55:43+00:00

This goes a lot deeper than brushing your teeth and taking a shower.

She is trying to show you that you matter to her in trying after years of marriage, and all she was asking for was the same in return.

How often do you make sure that dinner is done when she gets home, or make her breakfast in bed? Do you take the kids to a park so she can spend some time reading a book, or take a long bath?

In her texts the next day it's clear that while she said some hurtful things that it will take a long time to get over from your side, she wants to make things better.

There are men and women both that would kill for another chance to fix their marriage, and you are throwing it away for what? Because she hurt your feelings? Man up, accept your responsibility in the relationship, make your wife feel like the prize she is begging you to make her feel like, and she will return the favor.

Or throw in the towel, go through a terrible divorce, get split custody with your kids, lose half your retirement and have to start back over from ground zero.

Oh and still have to take that fucking bath.

teebbarc · 2024-07-29T00:38:06+00:00

Clean your ass and brush your teeth. Sounds like you haven’t been doing that for awhile. Her fake threat of finding someone else was wrong to say, but also right in a way. You don’t clean up and show her you’re ready and wanting, she deserves someone who wants her.

Itsbulmer · 2024-07-29T00:28:50+00:00

You’ll post this to 6 subreddits instead of doing anything she asks.

For her sake fuckin leave , you suck.

Retying3043 · 2024-07-29T00:22:22+00:00

It’s over. Once divorce is spoken of there is no going back. File and gtfo. The more time you waste, the worse things will get.

Lucky_Rouxe · 2024-07-29T00:16:15+00:00

Bro, go clean yourself! I don’t understand how people go to bed without even brushing and taking a shower.

TheNattyJew · 2024-07-28T23:08:49+00:00

Yeah what she said is pretty evil and seemingly premeditated. Sobbing and saying that she just wanted to threaten you does not make it any better

Yellow-Robe-Smith · 2024-07-28T22:30:18+00:00

Honestly you seem like a slob based on all your comments and screenshots. Your wife deserves better.

ncjr591 · 2024-07-28T22:07:49+00:00

It sounds like she was angry and said something without thinking. With that being said, it was vile and she needs to understand actions/words have consequences. She told you she would find someone else to fuck, you can’t take that back and no apologizes can change what she said. I would tell her to get out of my bed and sleep on the couch, and if she wants forgiveness she needs to get professional help.

henrysmyagent · 2024-07-28T20:22:40+00:00

She is cheating on you.

Maybe emotionally, maybe physically, but there is another man in the wings auditioning to replace you.

She isn't comparing you to nothing.

The old saying for pickup artists is:

Martied women are the easiest to screw. You don't have to be the best man in the world...you just have to be slightly better than her husband.

SorenShieldbreaker · 2024-07-28T19:52:09+00:00

Brush your teeth

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-07-28T19:05:05+00:00

Mine said the exact thing couple years ago, had some assaultive rage fits she took out on me (several in between). Gone out to bars with the whole, “I’ll find a man who treats me better.” Said good riddance, and that was quits for me. Now she’s in shock she’s getting served. No need to live like that.

My big issue was the physical attacks from her. Of course the comments hurt too. Maybe she has BPD, but tired of the mess. Tried to get her into therapy. Was a mess. Oh well.

Affectionate-Fox8690 · 2024-07-28T19:00:24+00:00

We saw the text messages. She handled it poorly, but you're the one who hasn't put any effort into the relationship. She's been telling you for MONTHS to work on your Hygiene and to fix yourself up. That is literally not difficult.

You're the one who's been dismissive of her conversations/concerns. It should take one. Not multiple. The fact that you're trying to paint yourself as a victim is telling.

Visual-Effect-3340 · 2024-07-28T18:55:29+00:00

She will be cheating soon bro

Party-Quantity2125 · 2024-07-28T18:49:31+00:00

Stop being a dirt bag and wash that ass and pits guys up keep isn’t that hard but then again your str8 probably smell like a bag of unwanted unwashed dicks. And you think she wants that in her mouth? I hope she wins the divorce and kids because you clearly haven’t mastered soap and water meaning that your kids won’t be clean with you.

insurety · 2024-07-28T18:32:31+00:00

Your wife is at her limit and is communicating that to you. The way she said it was unkind, but it’s probably not the first time she’s tried to communicate it to you, and she most likely feels that you aren’t listening to her, and therefore you don’t care to meet her needs.

You have a chance to salvage your marriage here. If she was already cheating, she wouldn’t have said these things. Once they start cheating, everything feels better at first because they finally feel “happy” in their affair fog.

You can either decide to do what she is asking you to do, or don’t and get a divorce.

Adventurous_Wrap_343 · 2024-07-28T17:27:48+00:00

She’s telling you that you’re not being attractive. It’s easier to communicate on it and make an effort than to go down the divorce path. Some things can be fixed. Maybe you have some asks if your own.

rickyspanish12345 · 2024-07-28T17:15:23+00:00

She's checking out of the marriage but when you told her you wanted a divorce that flipped the power dynamic.

Vivid-Juggernaut2833 · 2024-07-28T17:15:13+00:00

She’s out of line.

Whether it’s an anger or an impulse-control issue, there’s some stuff you just don’t say to a spouse.

Women seem to get way more leeway when it comes to verbal abuse. The pattern is that men must display a ‘thick skin’, while women are told that men must earn their way back after hurtful comments.

The minute both kids are done breastfeeding, I would file for divorce and not look back. It will be nasty and complicated, but the payoff is that you will get 2-4 days per week to live as a free man.

No-Marsupial1823 · 2024-07-28T17:07:32+00:00

Both of you can do better. I can see her frustration but she went way too far. You can do better to keep up with yourself for your wife. Also words like that can be a deal breaker so if you chose divorce I understand. Bottom line is marriage sucks on so many levels.

yes2matt · 2024-07-28T16:58:54+00:00

180.

Giant pause button on intimacy, 40 days.

In those 40 days, 1. No drinking. None. 2. While you're at it, cut carbs as hard as you can, fill the gap with greens and legumes. 3. Daily, at least 4x a week good hard 40 minute workout. Doesn't matter what, pr with whom or how early you need to get up, get it done. 4. On a cash, undisclosed-to-her basis, divorce attorney consultation. Bring your financial situation and approach the hour meeting as though you saw a divorce in the future and are prepping for it. 5. Since you're looking up your finances, start taking screenshots and logging. You need to know where every dime is. 6. Change your passwords. Email, bank access, debit card pins if she knows them. All of it. 7. Copy the kids' records, ssn, birth certs. 8. At least one evening a week you are out with the guys. Legitimately! With a male friend or several, doing something, anything. You disclose your plans to her where and with whom, but you do not ask permission. If it is not convenient to her plans/ideals, too damn bad but you be gentle about it. Firm but gentle. 9. Whatever your deal is with shared credit cards, better figure put how to put a lock down on that, she's gonna blow them up. Suggest a call to the company and lower the credit limit.

Divorce is incredibly expensive and difficult. Living under a cloud like you describe is worse. Bitch needs to recognize that you are with her by choice. YOU need to recognize who swings the dick around here and start swinging it. But swing it like a man who takes care of his body, his estate, his money, his clothes. Don't swing it like the dude who comes home from work, doesn't shower or change, slobs out on the bed with the TV on. Fuck that guy, he's about to get a divorce, leave him behind.

Financial-Builder-92 · 2024-07-28T16:47:21+00:00

My ex had similar language and I found out she was having sex with multiple other men. Also, during the divorce, she got pregnant by another guy and had a miscarriage. What does she do on her cell phone and PC's? Do you have access? I hate to say it but she is most likely having sex with another guy. Now is the time to not do anything stupid like go drinking or start threatening. It would help if you found as much intel on what is going on as possible. Contact a attorney and get everything ready if she files. It is critical that she knows nothing of what you are doing. Also know, that attorneys want a divorce, they make a ton of money off drama so keep your guard up. While you are doing all this, it is critical that you get mentally ready for what is going on.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-07-28T16:41:27+00:00

She's already fuckin someone else. Sorry bro, it's for sure.

SetHopeful4081 · 2024-07-28T16:40:46+00:00

I saw the screenshots of ya’lls text messages. You’re not exactly blameless here. She’s telling you what she needs and it feels like you’re not hearing her.

Adventurous_Fact2083 · 2024-07-28T16:38:38+00:00

She’s already screwing someone else.

Ok_Thing7777 · 2024-07-28T16:35:02+00:00

Time to find Marriage counselor. I will Say that comment is totally wrong. You don't say that, do people you love? She needs to hear that from someone other than You fight for your marriage. Remember it does take 2 too make a marriage work.

SelectAirline · 2024-07-28T16:28:26+00:00

She started cheating on you a long time ago, and she's looking for ways to retroactively make it your fault.

captainchippsixx · 2024-07-28T16:26:04+00:00

You should look deeper into it but still go forward with divorce plan. She is not expecting it so check her phone. When Women start being disrespectful it a can be big indicator that she has started to mess around. Certainly not something a wife that lives you says. Tell her you ca. be a single mom. If that’s what you want .

This_Train340i · 2024-07-28T16:24:51+00:00

Can't unring that bell, but you'll be hearing those words in your mind forever.

Temporary_Medicine79 · 2024-07-28T16:07:34+00:00

At least she was upfront with it. She cheated or is very close to doing so. Having been through cheating I would just go ahead and start the divorce. If you both want to work on the marriage you can but I would put the onus on her to initiate and plan counseling and improvement efforts. Freaking wash yourself and brush your teeth before going to bed maybe that’s all she really wants.

BreMills1 · 2024-07-28T15:41:11+00:00

This is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard a woman. She's fucked someone else before or has been thinking about it. If she's thinking about, she only need the right guy to say the right things, and she will be in bed with him..

ramad84 · 2024-07-28T15:17:24+00:00

you need to step up your hygiene game - regardless if its for your wife or else new partner. nobody wants to sleep with a bad smelling person.

your fighting styles have gone toxic however. a healthy conversation doesnt include threats of divorce.

TBD if you can recover - when fighting goes toxic is may be too late. but be prepared for the worst.

Mental-Science1288 · 2024-07-28T15:11:29+00:00

She’s already screwing some Chad or Tyrone and threatened you to see your reaction and since you really don’t give a shit, she’s backpedaling cause she knows the guy(s) she’s fucking won’t settle down with her.

Never be a backup plan. To no one. EVER.

You are your first priority, not her, not kids, YOU!

You cannot be a good anything until you put yourself first.

You talk to a lawyer, get your options and go from there. You choose the option that YOU want to live with. Personally, No one threatens infidelity without there being something to monkey branch to let alone to make their spouse want them.

I could and would never tolerate this disrespect. That was a direct slap in the face of your manhood. She willfully and wantonly emasculated you to make you want her? Am I alone in thinking this chick is mental?

Do you really want to wait until you find out that she’s fucking some other dude? Save yourself the headache, hassles and horseshit.

georeddit2018 · 2024-07-28T14:49:14+00:00

Double standard. You posted on Marriage sub reddit and everyone is blaming you. If you said such thing to your wife that you'll just fuck someone else, majority of them will call you misogynistic.

About the screenshot you posted, how the hell are you supposed to make your wife feel beautiful, sexy. I am not married but thats seem like a lot of work.

mr21vp · 2024-07-28T14:46:01+00:00

Soon she will be asking for an "open marriage". Cut your losses file for divorce and it's probably better before your kids get older with a 2 parent household. Their "normal" will be mom and dad not living together.

HerbEverstanks · 2024-07-28T14:37:33+00:00

Women use sex for seduction before marriage. Women use sex for compliance after marriage.

Classic_Dill · 2024-07-28T14:27:14+00:00

I think if this isn’t a troll post, she’s already cheating on you or she’s going to because she absolutely does not respect you and for sure doesn’t love you. And she absolutely has no desire for you, so either you let yourself go and slide off the cracker so badly that you’re no longer attractive to her? Or she’s got mental issues, get to this point you could slim down to 175 pounds and muscle and she still won’t love her respect you, I think this ship is sailed my friend, I think you should divorce her and then maybe you should look in the mirror and make improvements on yourself.

grimxluna4ever · 2024-07-28T14:18:19+00:00

She said it so freely because this is what she's telling her friend group/coworkers. She's just used to it. And if she said that to you, she's saying worse to them. So she's working on her validation. She knows it's over for her. She wants it to be your call Be careful with that one. Courts hear her. They dismiss you

bretzelsenbatonnets · 2024-07-28T14:17:14+00:00

I think you'd be doing her a favor if you left.

You sound childish. Just take a fucking shower bro and brush your teeth 😒 she ain't asking much

Haunting_Profession3 · 2024-07-28T14:09:59+00:00

This is likely not what you want to hear, but I would almost guarantee that she said this comfortably because she already has that “someone else” lined up. She knows exactly who she would go to for that, and she knows she will get exactly that.

No sane person that is actually in love with & committed to you would EVER say something like that. Especially if you’re not neglecting her or ignoring her sexual needs.

I would bite that bullet, and tell her she is free to go as she pleases because you don’t deserve that, nor will you tolerate that.

Lean on this community heavily through this next chapter of your life, we have all experienced your situation in one way or another.

Good luck brother!

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-07-28T13:50:02+00:00

Hey, I was married to someone just like this. In fact those words are nearly the exact of what was said to me. Usually, the issue was I was exhausted from work, but it could have been anything really. I'm willing to venture a guess that she is equally vitriolic about lots of other things too, and that this type of interaction is not infrequent. I begged for marriage therapy. She refused. I asked that she not speak like that to me, she said I wasn't a real man. We are now in the process of divorce, because she believes it's ok to rip me apart with impunity and I'm supposed to just take it, because I'm the neglectful one. We've had major communication issues our entire marriage, and while.frankly they probably could be helped with therapy, I am beyond the point of wanting to try. I just want peace and freedom to be me. And I'm not a neglectful person, and I'm not anyone of the things she frequently accuses me of, but as others here have said, she does this to build a case and rationalize it in her own head. Ultimately, you need to decide if it's worth staying or not.

Medical_Number8972 · 2024-07-28T13:45:18+00:00

She doesn't love you. If she did she would have stated her displeasure differently.

She's very likely cheating on you differently or spotted someone else to cheat with already.

Save your money in a different account buddy.

Skaeofficial · 2024-07-28T13:41:04+00:00

Normally random jabs like this means shes cheating at least in my experience because you can tell your partner you have a problem with something without threatening too cheat on them idgaf what nobody say

But i read the text between you and your wife and 100% is on your wife side your ass is not telling us the whole truth shes been begging you for months too give her attention and too have sex with her and too clean your self and thats your reaction towards her ? Its no wonder she threaten yo ass one time she clearly loves yo ass and you dont care

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-07-28T13:35:44+00:00

Looking at your history...

Do you love This woman?

BlackSun56 · 2024-07-28T13:06:02+00:00

Well first of all, maybe focus on hygiene if it’s possible she has any sort of point? Sorry, that may have been brutal, but if you’re gross…. I get it. Tell her you’ll make an effort, but you need to have a heart to heart and if you do think it’s going the way of divorce then lawyer up first.

fffrdcrrf · 2024-07-28T13:01:45+00:00

Sounds like both you and her have issues communicating, try having a heart to heart or counseling. Sounds like she trying to tell you something and doesn’t know how, you’re both threatening each other.

Fightoffyourdemoms · 2024-07-28T13:01:40+00:00

Game over man, she either already slept w someone or is working on it. Find a lawyer and talk to them about how to get started, don’t let her know anything. It’s gonna be rough for awhile but you will be happy again.

NoMinimum5376 · 2024-07-28T13:01:09+00:00

Strongly recommend yall look at the screenshots he has posted in other subs. He posted this literally everywhere.

Clearly his wife has been trying to get his attention and express what she needs for a long time and he has ignored it and put in zero effort. How do men respond when their wife starts putting in zero effort in this area? Often times it’s just cheating not threatening to.

He’s ignored her pleas and now his ego is hurt that she would dare think about how she might deserve better in this department. She tried to shock him and that’s not great, but ignoring pleas is a quick ticket to walk away wife syndrome.

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2024-07-28T12:56:58+00:00

Sounds like she has one foot out the door sorry to hear this , time for some reflection and a plan to move forward . Are there any other indicators of cheating or someone else ? Women are very clever and hide evidence well (typically anyway)

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-07-28T12:45:10+00:00

Mine was throwing weird shots at me too when she was having an affair. It’s her trying to build her case and justify her actions. Start taking care of yourself and planning now.

Gillilnomics · 2024-07-28T12:39:18+00:00

Try counseling, but only with 100% honesty.

She almost certainly has someone on the back burner, or has him in her sights at least.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-07-28T12:35:54+00:00

She’s already found someone.

whoisgodiam · 2024-07-28T12:20:11+00:00

Mindless_Caregiver40 · 2024-07-28T12:14:23+00:00

Are you listening to what she is saying? Have you let yourself go?

Have you been putting energy on the two of you and your intimacy?

jambazaza540 · 2024-07-28T11:59:32+00:00

I’d say it’s time for couples counseling. Like, now. Though the situation might seem bleak, take time to do intense work on the relationship before going the divorce route. Even if it doesn’t work, you’ll be glad you tried. Divorce ain’t easy.

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-07-28T11:26:36+00:00

This behavior is usually for a reason, she has either A cheated already, B has someone she wants to cheat with. Once the divorce word is out of the bag tho it's very hard to get it back in. Does she have time that is unaccounted for recently IE random "girls night". Does she put her phone face down when you're in the room, do you know her phone password?

Title	Wife said to husband "I'll just fuck someone else"
Author	Gullible-Layer5988
Upvotes	0
Comments	122
Date	July 28, 2024 4:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1edz7rs/wife_said_to_husband_ill_just_fuck_someone_else/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-said-to-husband-ill-just-fuck-someone-else.1525567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525567

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