Has Mandatory Use of Dating Apps Changed the Game?

Muscletov · 2024-12-19T21:18:51+00:00

Many people, especially here, try to dismiss the impact of online dating but that's as stupid as dismissing the consequences of online shopping for retail. Online dating is not a microcosmos consisting of some niche demographics. It's not 2010 anymore, seriously.

They also handily ignore the massive decrease of acceptability when it comes to men approaching women. Feminists had huge success in that area over the last decade, although, for some weird reason, they largely refuse to take credit and deny that shift they caused. Can't even take a fucking win.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-12-19T17:53:57+00:00

There is no such thing as wall of 40 for women. Woman in her 40s who lists her age on the app continues to get tons of likes.

But as a man who will be 40 in 2 years, I expect this to be serious problem. Women my age group prefer to date men younger based on my observations, and I am not interested in dating women who are 10 years older than me.

throwawaylessons103 · 2024-12-19T16:20:37+00:00

Re: cold-approaching

You are right that a lot of men are not cold-approaching women anymore.

The men who still do tend to be players/fboys, because the ones who are good at it tend to be good at it because they do it so much.

What still happens at a good rate is a “warm approach.” This involves you building an active life, full of hobbies and social outings where you can meet other people.

This is obviously harder to do 40+, but the people I’ve seen be successful at it didn’t care as much about the age of their friends. They stayed fit and socially vibrant, and enjoyed connecting with others regardless of where it lead.

frackingfaxer · 2024-12-19T16:52:35+00:00

Everyone here saying apps aren't mandatory. For a lot of people, given their social circumstances, they are de facto mandatory.

It's not like you can just meet someone at work like you used to; now that's against company policy or considered harassment. You won't meet someone at church, because people aren't religious anymore. At school or university, maybe, but that ends eventually, and it could easily be considered harassment under campus regulations.

In short, all manner of societal factors are pushing people towards the apps. And it's only going to get worse.

saltwatersouffle · 2024-12-19T19:50:49+00:00

I had the same feeling when I was single, that apps were mandatory if I wanted to meet someone. I ended up meeting my partner “in the wild” . So it can happen!

DrunkOnRamen · 2024-12-19T15:49:08+00:00

Dating apps aren't bad, it is their execution that is bad. At least in the US where there is a very self-centric "me" culture. Dating apps in their current design have created the false sense of choice you also have complete idiots going on social media and giving "advice" that is just toxic.

The amount of smoke women blow up each others asses is remarkable. I have seen women who can be described as the female neckbeards be convinced that they're models. As repugnant incels are, at least a lot of aren't in denial about their physical looks.

Any-Remove-4032 · 2024-12-19T20:03:39+00:00

Any form of technological advancement changes the game.

The same way books were criticized because now people could just look up information instead having to remember things, technology has always brought in new winners and created new losers. Skill relevance comes and goes with the times. Masters of approaching in real life were suddenly competing with shy and quiet types.

I met my wife on a dating app. As a socially awkward dork, who knows where I would be without that technological advancement.

BiffTannenCA · 2024-12-19T16:27:07+00:00

They're not mandatory. If anything, hot girls are getting hit on even less nowadays in real life. So a guy with balls who approaches is ahead of the pack.

catdog8020 · 2024-12-19T20:55:57+00:00

Im in my 40s and for the most part dating is over for most average and below average men due to hoeflation, social media and OLD. Women would rather masterbate than be with an average man and they feel entitled to the top tier men.

Women do not like to be cold approached in public or unfamiliar environments in America. I have witnessed this with all my friends. Sure, they do get some phone numbers but then get blocked later on that day.

My guess is that woman compare men they meet in public to the men they talk with on social media or OLD.
Since the choices are way better for sex with a chad than some rando guy at a bar, women will always choose the online chad.

Men we need to get together and advocate for legal prostitution in the USA. No doubt dating is over

wtknight · 2024-12-19T15:51:46+00:00

I’ve never liked dating apps because they reduce one to a commodity. There are ways to be social online without using a dating app if one wants to get to know people online first.

Livid-Log7463 · 2024-12-19T20:05:12+00:00

The biggest thing is that online and dating apps have made women’s already innate narrower attraction to men even more exclusive and similar. When given more options the choosers will become pickier no matter what.

treadmarks · 2024-12-19T22:59:45+00:00

Changed the game? More like game over, man. I'm just over 40 too and the chances of me landing a woman I'd actually want to be with for the rest of my life are negligible.

This acceptance is saving me so much time, money and aggravation. Now I just put my time and energy into things I enjoy in life and stop worrying about jumping through hoops just to try and get the attention of somebody who's probably also got 7 other dudes on the line and will probably just ruin my life anyway.

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2024-12-20T01:31:35+00:00

As a man just over 50 I get a tonne of swipes from women older than me, but it peters out very very quickly under 50 (still well over the so called "wall", which I think is rather shite and reductionist - I've encountered 50 year old women in this process who were sexier than many 30 year olds). I do agree people seem to have hard and fast lines based on age, even when they might actually go out with you if they took the time to look at your profile. I sense most women under 45 have settings that stop at 49, it's like some sort of symbolic blocker, sounds like 'solid middle age'! I say this because I get literally hundreds of swipes around and above my age, but it drops off a cliff by the mid 40s (despite the occasional outlier who is 35 etc!).

I date women around my age as well as quite a bit younger, I don't use a number as a primary determinant but judge attraction more generally - that said if I'm honest my strongest skew of combining compatibility and attraction probably hovers around late 30s to mid 40s. So given the above I have to go out and work for it.

Essentially my advice is you do the swiping, and TONNES of it. Look at most men on here, men find it hard to stand out generally, and so I think we all evolve to 'the numbers game' even if, as I did, we start out being very mindful and focusing on swiping on people who seem to tick multiple boxes.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-12-19T15:48:01+00:00

Dating apps are not mandatory
You're allowed to approach men yourself; you don't have to wait for them to approach you
People lie so much on dating apps to bypass filters, it's almost a given

mashedturnip · 2024-12-19T16:38:32+00:00

Not mandatory

ACE_Overlord · 2024-12-20T04:34:15+00:00

Middle-aged man.

Deleted my dating profile, but when it was up I filtered out 50+ y/o women.

ThatBitchA · 2024-12-19T15:49:38+00:00

Apps aren't mandatory. 🙄

Nobody is forcing you to use dating apps. Everyone knows dating apps are trash. They've been trash for the last decade.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-12-19T15:46:31+00:00

They definitely aren't mandatory. I didn't get with my girl though a dating app. Most people don't. The data you are probably thinking of (if you did think of any) includes all sources of online interaction. Dating apps are a small portion of that pie.

KayRay1994 · 2024-12-19T19:00:04+00:00

Wait I didn’t get the memo… they’re mandatory now?

AutoModerator · 2024-12-19T15:12:49+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Environmental_Day558 · 2024-12-19T16:18:23+00:00

It's not mandatory but what you're experiencing is true, less men are approaching women IRL. I met my wife on a dating app, but I moved to a new city 6 months prior and only had like 1 friend I met through work, and it was during the covid mask mandates and social distancing, so meeting a woman IRL for me would be next to impossible. More people shifted to meeting online. Now that the pandemic is over, it has not gone back. Similar to how people are used to working from home.

As someone else mentioned, if you want to avoid dating apps then you may just need to go to places where men your age range frequent and approach them yourself.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-12-19T19:43:26+00:00

Saying dating apps are mandatory is like saying going to singles bars is mandatory, because it’s an online version of that. Sure you can get a lot of dates and hookups there, maybe a partner. It’s not required and there probably isn’t even 8% of women on them right now in your age demo.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-12-19T15:47:13+00:00

I wouldn't say it's changed the game just made the results immediate, women tend to judge off looks and income they just have immediate access to that info now, granted the income standard is way up in the clouds, but women have shown time and time again they don't want average and think themselves to be above average, as for the man's part is think dating apps are predatory in a few ways, 1 it allows women to take advantage of men, and 2 dating apps use the fact men want a relationship or sex to secure payment out of them

G4M35 · 2024-12-19T16:51:06+00:00

Mandatory?

Since when? I didn't get the memo, will I get fined? Jailed?

_weedkiller_ · 2024-12-19T17:01:25+00:00

Well they’re not mandatory, last 2 people I dated I didn’t meet on an app. It is less common for men to approach women but it does still happen. I’m 37 and it happens every time I go out to a straight bar/club (also in gay bars but it’s women approaching obviously).

The age limit thing puts people at a disadvantage if they are wanting to date people much younger than themselves. I can see if you are dating straight men then yes I think they probably try to filter out “post wall” women even if they are age matched - but do you really want to date someone who thinks about people your age in that way? They probably wouldn’t have approached you in person. If they did, then when they would still see your age as a negative.

Age limits are boundaries and apps make it much easier to maintain those boundaries. In person there’s the option to manipulate your way past that with charm.

Geography is limiting but there are definitely singles nights and speed dating that goes on regularly. Or just go to events where dancing is involved. That’s how I meet people.

I know a few older women who don’t feel comfortable going to nightclubs dancing but get involved in ballroom/latin dance classes. There’s plenty of men there and dancing is a pretty natural human courting ritual. Even if you feel like you are no good at dancing all that does is present more opportunities for men (or women) in the class to get up close and personal and show you how to move your body.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-12-19T16:21:42+00:00

Even if I became single, I’d avoid dating apps like the plague. It’s just full of trashy people looking for quick results.

My friend became single about a year and a half ago, she tried tinder for a month before getting rid of it, just full of entitled men wanting naked pictures and her address.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-12-20T01:02:07+00:00

I recall the era between in-person and "apps". This was online dating through profile lists on Plent of Fish, OKCupid, etc. I was already a loser at this method, but at the very least it had less algorithmic amplification. Some men who scraped by then are completely unseen now. So all online dating was the beginning of the end.

The only solution I've seen is doing classes with people. My brother and a friend both met their girlfriends that way. This seems to lower barriers of acceptance to asking someone out.

I've also seen that in Japan it's considered socially acceptable to ask out coworkers. So the metoo thing is somewhat US centric. I guess if you work in an non-US company, it may be more dating favorable.

Title	Has Mandatory Use of Dating Apps Changed the Game?
Author	SquirrelofLIL
Upvotes	32
Comments	160
Date	December 19, 2024 3:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hhv0j2/has_mandatory_use_of_dating_apps_changed_the_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-mandatory-use-of-dating-apps-changed-the-game.1538958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538958

Comments