Women who ask their male partners to not use condoms are in the wrong morally.

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-03-18T13:23:30+00:00

It's absolutely diabolical to lie to your partner about being on birth control, but men also can just say "no, the condom stays on". It's not like they have no choice, lmao.

Men should definitely take control over their own safety when it comes to sex. Even if you do trust the pill, condoms are just another level of safety, ya'know. Just in case. I see nothing wrong with insisting on it.

SayuriKitsune · 2025-03-18T13:33:05+00:00

how is feminism at fault? just use a condom or get a snip snip, simple.

Plus, men can also take out the condom without their partner knowing...

A-Queef-In-The-Night · 2025-03-18T13:30:08+00:00

They are not morally wrong for asking. You are free to say no. Asking is not “evil and disgusting”.

If they do not accept your no respectfully or try to guilt you into it by insinuating trust issues simply because of the fact that you want to be in control of when YOU reproduce, then they are morally wrong.

By the way, accepting your no respectfully does not necessarily mean she agrees with you and still has sex with you.

Also, I don’t think feminism is the reason we do not have discrete male birth control as you suggested. Especially since a majority of the people who have historically had access to the education, training, and laboratories to make it happen, were and continue to be men.

FeatherWorld · 2025-03-18T13:32:22+00:00

I'm usually dealing with the opposite problem. A lot of men don't want to wear condoms. They want me to be on birth control and I have to be the one who insists that they put one on. Not anymore though. Any reluctance and I leave. Stealthing is far too common. Any woman who says that is weird af and risky. Leave immediately.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-03-18T13:37:36+00:00

Lol, my penis, my choice. If you don’t want it with a condom, you are not getting it at all.

thelajestic · 2025-03-18T13:42:18+00:00

which respectfully, many men don't want to trust that. They'd rather just use a condom.

Have you spoken to many men on this subject? Because in reality a significant proportion of guys seem to very much prefer to go without condoms if they can. I've seen multiple guys on this sub and others say they wouldn't be in a relationship with a woman if they had to wear a condom, because the only benefit of a LTR is for her to use birth control and him not to wear a condom.

But realistically, as a woman, if a man asked me to go without one, I'd tell him no. If he pressed the issue, I wouldn't sleep with him. You have the same option with women you sleep with. If you can't agree on contraceptive methods then don't sleep together, simple.

KayRay1994 · 2025-03-18T13:55:12+00:00

I think my neck broke with all this stretching….

1) you can always withdraw consent if you want to wear a condom and she says no

2) if you’re in a relationship with someone especially, trust is a big factor. Is it not? Like wanting control over your own contraception, but the whole “he is forced to trust her” angle makes no sense - and again, I repeat, you can withdraw consent whenever you want for literally any reason

Stop looking for oppression narratives when there is none

Particular-Set5396 · 2025-03-18T13:55:07+00:00

I mean, we had to add stealthing to the list of sexual crimes, but do go on and tell us women are the ones forcing men to not use condoms.

ValeWho · 2025-03-18T14:11:19+00:00

It's not due to feminism that men have hardly any options when it comes to birth control? Quite the opposite actually. Feminists criticise that birth control is treated as the woman's responsibility

Lightinthebottle7 · 2025-03-18T13:26:29+00:00

So, Whether or not the condom remains on the weiner is your choice.

What is this tanget even about feminism? How does it come here? There are a bunch of ways of male birth control, which is your decision to take or not.

flipsidetroll · 2025-03-18T14:06:56+00:00

There’s nothing to debate. If a woman is asking you to not use a condom, and you don’t want sex without one, don’t fuck her. It’s that simple. This is not even close to being a feminist issue. This is a personal safety issue. If you think a baby is the worst that you can “catch” without a condom, then you are very misled. There are many worse things and lifelong conditions you can catch. Do you expect women to debate you on how safe sex is without a condom? That’s asinine. Do you expect women to say it’s empowering to fuck without a condom? Monumentally idiotic. So what do you expect a debate on? No one, but NO ONE. Should compromise your personal safety.

2025-03-18T15:07:43+00:00

In part due to feminism, only women have discrete birth control they can take without their partner knowing, not men.

What does feminism have to do with this?

TermAggravating8043 · 2025-03-18T13:25:30+00:00

Then just use a condom and stop blaming feminism And don’t fuck people that ask you not to use birth control, common sense yeah?

Jesus the victim mentality here is absolutely roaring

Routine-Present-3676 · 2025-03-18T14:50:00+00:00

Your penis, your choice. If you feel strongly about this and someone is pressuring you into something that doesn't feel right, that's a pretty good indication that you shouldn't have that person in your life.

Edited to add stop blaming feminism for every single thing you don't like in the world. It's ridiculous.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-03-18T16:02:13+00:00

Then...use one dude. My past partners totally understood that I wanted to use condoms. It's safer that way.

To call it morally wrong is asinine

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2025-03-18T17:01:25+00:00

Dude. No one is forcing you to fuck someone without a condom. And you can also get something like a vasectomy if you want to fuck without a condom but have these trust issues.

Obviously if a woman would actually baby trap a man then she is horrible. But this post is not only fear mongering in nature, but also randomly goes after feminism when it has nothing to do with this.

Why are you trying to push some random agenda with this random post? Why do certain people here need to make everything about feminism it is so weird.

Autistic-Tea · 2025-03-18T13:37:24+00:00

If my partner wants to come with me to see my birth control being inserted, he is more than welcome to join me.

Why shouldn't he trust that?

ThatBitchA · 2025-03-18T14:14:44+00:00

What is evil and disgusting is when women ask men to not use condoms and trust their birth control.

If you think that, keep your condom on.

I never used condoms once boundaries were established. We always trusted birth control. No issues. No children.

men are forced to trust their partner on birth control, which respectfully, many men don't want to trust that

So date another partner you trust. Don't have sex with someone you don't trust.

leosandlattes · 2025-03-18T13:36:12+00:00

I’ve never had sex with my boyfriend using a condom. You know patient medical records do show STD panel results as well as IUD type and insertion date… I told him he can literally feel for the strings if he wanted to verify it’s there.

Zabadoodude · 2025-03-18T15:10:16+00:00

They can ask if they want. The man can say no if he wants that extra layer of safety. If she no longer wants to fuck because of it he can move on. It's a morally neutral situation.

Same for when a man wants to go raw and she doesn't.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-03-18T15:22:20+00:00

Lmao my partners literally never used a condom with me. Please 🤦‍♀️

It's basically impossible to get men to use condoms unless it's in casual sex basically.

flutterybuttery58 · 2025-03-18T14:03:37+00:00

Men who ask their female partners to not use condoms are in the wrong morally.

The truth is this. Many women want to have sex but also don't want to worry about having a child. (Because men can check out on parental duties, but women rarely can).

Now, if someone, for whatever reason, is just not open entirely to having sex with someone who isn't open to children, that is one thing.

What is evil and disgusting is when men ask women to not use condoms (aka demand not to, as it’s “uncomfortable” /“doesn’t feel as good”) and trust the woman’s birth control.

There is one flaw here. (In part due to misogyny), only men have discrete birth control they can have without their partner knowing, not women. (It’s a a Vasectomy).

So, essentially, women are forced to trust their partner on birth control, which respectfully, many women don't want to trust that.

They'd rather their partner just use a condom.

There you go, I fixed it for you OP!

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-03-18T14:56:42+00:00

This is just sexism. You can’t blame a woman who has good intentions for the actions of other women. And the reason men don’t have greater reproductive control is due to men like yourself spreading sexist nonsense instead of standing up for yourself.

cutegolpnik · 2025-03-18T16:22:29+00:00

So you’d say the same to men who don’t use condoms?

attendquoi · 2025-03-18T18:38:23+00:00

If all it takes is for the woman to ask, then the guy is too weak. There's no way I'd let a man talk me out of wearing a condom until after menopause, not even my husband (DINK life!).

Trikger · 2025-03-19T07:09:47+00:00

In part due to feminism, only women have discrete birth control they can take without their partner knowing, not men.

My guy, the pill makes me suicidal and erratic. If men could have their own version of the pill or something, I would cry happy tears. There is not a single woman who doesn't want male birth control. We don't want to be the only ones carrying the responsibilities of what happens to a man's cum once he shoots it inside. While guys get to have their orgasm, women have to choose between getting pregnant and destroying their bodies, or taking hormones and destroying their bodies.

It's a lack of feminism that's prevented us from developing a proper male version of BC.

And I think it's very rare for a man to pick condoms over rawdogging their girl on BC. I respect it and it's a smart choice. It also takes some weight off the woman's shoulders since it decreases the risk of pregnancy. However, usually it's the man pressuring the woman into having unprotected sex or taking BC so that the condoms can go.

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ImmaDrainOnSociety · 2025-03-21T07:52:45+00:00

There is another option. Vasectomy.

JustGeminiThings · 2025-04-04T16:57:37+00:00

Boundaries. Have them and hold them.

Fit_Fun_2758 · 2025-06-04T18:39:38+00:00

I'm a retired man and have no kids so this is just an opinion. First off there is religion, which, IMO, makes fools of so many Americans. Especially Baptist and Catholic where contraception "isn't allowed". Right. We're still following the rules of some book that was written in times before contraception existed. In my young man days, the lion's share of guys had one interest. Convincing a woman to have sex. It was a mission every weekend. It was almost comical at clubs to see 100 guys and 10 women who were brave enough to come in without a date. Or I would come in with a date and if I left her alone for 30 seconds, 5 guys would hit on her. Also, STDs were being traded around where sex superceded common sense.

Sure not wearing a condom feels better. But birth control for women has it's own risks. If I was in the dating world again, there is no way I would mess with a woman without either evidence of health testing or me wearing a condom. True story. In my 20s I wore a condom during sex and it came off. Freaked me out. The lady surprisingly said, "Don't worry about it. I don't know if I can even get pregnant (with no further explanation)." The she asked, "Did I do that on purpose?" Me: "No. Why would you think that?" Her: "Some guys would do that trying to trap the woman." Yikes.

Unkown64637 · 2025-03-19T21:43:03+00:00

Idk why men don’t get if a woman wants to baby trap you. It’s likely very hard to circumvent that. Especially if you’re in an LTR. A woman could poke holes, go off birth control, or good ole fashion pull that ish out of the trash can and turkey baste. My partner trusts me. But also I could trap him easy and there would be little he could to stop it, if he didn’t see it coming. And he checks out condoms when we use them. And this is likely the case for most men and women in relationships. This is why one must vet and perhaps men shouldn’t be having casual sex either?? Idk Also you’d hate me. Just last night I told him to take it off 2 seconds after he put it on.😈

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-03-18T19:54:16+00:00

Two things I’ve found from being with a lot of women:

far more than you’d believe didn’t want me to wear protection. Legitimately got mad when I said it was a deal breaker.
almost none took their BC correctly. Would miss days a lot, not factor in things like boozing hard, etc. yet didn’t think it was an issue.

We’re talking women 23-43 here.

Title	Women who ask their male partners to not use condoms are in the wrong morally.
Author	Early-Possibility367
Upvotes	0
Comments	110
Date	March 18, 2025 1:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1je4qkn/women_who_ask_their_male_partners_to_not_use/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-ask-their-male-partners-to-not-use.1546930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546930

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