What is a real man

Alarmed_Load8145 · 2025-05-11T20:37:20+00:00

There's no such thing as a real man. I'm perhaps being needlessly pedantic, but I don't understand this language we have been throwing around. If we say there's such a thing as a 'real man', then we have to by necessity define what a 'fake man' is, and I don't think we can. Since we cannot do that, saying 'real man' is just nonsensical. At best, what we can in fact do is elaborate on how we think a man should act, but that's a different issue.

United_Iron369 · 2025-05-11T21:52:57+00:00

The phrase "real man" is often used by both men and women to shame other men for not fitting into their societal expectations.

lord-moo · 2025-05-11T20:37:54+00:00

at the end of the day there is no true definition of what a "real man" is.

most of the time it is a shaming tactic to get a man/men to do things they do not desire to do without compensation. we really need to kill this idea of what a "real man" is so men can pursue their pleasures without reservations.

Barely-moral · 2025-05-11T20:36:11+00:00

Adult human male.

Everything else said is cheap moral crap.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-05-11T20:47:32+00:00

Someone who apparently is a traditional male, provides for women, and panders to women's needs. If a man isn't benefiting a woman in some way, he's not a real man. Whereas women can do whatever they want because they are always the victim.

ScruffleKun · 2025-05-11T21:38:06+00:00

So what is a real man then...?

That's easy, in order to be a man,

you must be swift as the coursing river,

with all the force of a great typhoon,

with all the strength of a raging fire,

mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

champion_azure · 2025-05-11T20:51:15+00:00

It's just another manipulation method that unimaginative people use to try and get you to do something, or think something.

They usually say something like "a real man would carry those heavy boxes up the flight of stairs for me"

"You're only 5ft4, you're not a real man."

"real men like sports and inhaling their own farts"

It probably works on some people.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-05-11T21:38:26+00:00

A “real man” is a dude doing whatever thing you happen to think is convenient at the time.

It’s a dumb as fuck statement that needs to die.

Logos1789 · 2025-05-12T04:10:56+00:00

A male human who is at least 18 years of age.

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-05-11T21:42:05+00:00

Mostly a term that miserable people use to shame men who remind them of their own shortcomings

petellapain · 2025-05-11T22:01:19+00:00

Any adult male human is a real man. The term can be weaponized or politicized to hell and back. Ultimately people understand what a man is

Mysterious-Device392 · 2025-05-12T18:15:47+00:00

A tool which women and feminists use to shame men into performing more pro-women behavior.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-05-12T00:02:14+00:00

Any man that opposes feminism is a real man, since it indicates a willingness to defend their own interests against the current status quo while also showing basic knowledge about the social contract, what are exclusively make traits.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-05-11T20:31:24+00:00

A "real man" i'd say is a person who understands that maturity, integrity, and accountability are what actually make someone respectable—not bravado, not aggression, and definitely not adherence to stereotypes. He takes responsibility for his actions, treats others with respect (unless they're on Reddit), communicates clearly, and has the confidence to know that admitting when he's wrong is a strength, not a weakness.

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Peeloin · 2025-05-11T20:36:22+00:00

I think the people who use "real men" in this context use it to refer to good people in general. If you replace the words "real men" with "good people" in the examples you gave, the meaning stays the same. So I guess to answer your question, it doesn't really mean anything outside of a given context.

DGenerationMC · 2025-05-11T21:22:37+00:00

It is subjective.

A "real" man is only truly defined by that specific man himself.

IMO, anyone else (no matter the gender or agenda) is just talking out of their ass while trying to twist their own opinion into a fact.

SuperSpartan13 · 2025-05-11T22:13:01+00:00

it's a no true scotsman argument

champion_azure · 2025-05-12T00:03:40+00:00

Bit like the term "toxic masculinity" just another way of trying to control behaviour.

reallinustorvalds · 2025-05-12T01:03:33+00:00

A real man is at minimum 6’3. Not bald, he needs to have a beautiful head of hair like Odysseus. Thats what makes a real man: height and hair.

If you lack height and hair then you are a fantasy dwarf. Which is fine, but you aren’t a real man. You’re a mythical creature from the Lord of the Rings.

GKilat · 2025-05-12T01:50:50+00:00

Real man as in an adult male is someone that has self discipline and self sufficiency. Without that, you are still a boy that is easily impressed and manipulated by your environment and people around you and ruled by your emotions. While all men (and women) physically matures, not all men mentally and emotionally reach maturity.

thunderchungus1999 · 2025-05-12T02:47:58+00:00

Me. I am THE real man.

balhaegu · 2025-05-12T03:40:51+00:00

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

NeoKlang · 2025-05-12T03:46:13+00:00

real men don't cry, pay bills and rent for girlfriends even if they don't live in the house

WanabeInflatable · 2025-05-12T04:06:23+00:00

Real men DGAF what other people think real man should do.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-05-12T04:16:55+00:00

We live in rapidly changing times with many cultures interacting. There is no strong cultural consensus on things now, including aspirational masculinity and what a 'real man' is. Means different things to different people.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-05-12T05:23:02+00:00

This is a real man:

https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F0effaoz3rfx81.jpg&rdt=49565

/S

In all seriousness, its a useless term with no actual meaning besides what the one saying wants you to do. Is essentially a psychological pressure tool.

DelDivision · 2025-05-12T08:18:58+00:00

Any man is a real man, now a "real man" is slave call to anyone willing to bend over backwards for no reward

Acrobatic-Writer7734 · 2025-05-12T09:18:26+00:00

Not one that's emotionally available, apparantly.

They say they want us but they don't.

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2025-05-12T12:44:42+00:00

As I think you're pointing out, it's an incoherent concept.

Gendered norms and expectations are generally pretty silly.

Top-Spinach-9832 · 2025-05-12T14:46:58+00:00

There’s no such thing. There are stereotypical masculine traits and stereotypical feminine traits. All generalised and often with exceptions. There are people who are born with xy chromosomes who embody those typical masculine traits based on societies expectations and biological drives.

You might hold a “real man” as someone who identifies as a man, has a number of masculine traits, but chooses to exercise them in a positive way that benefits his society, relationships, and has limited negative impacts.

You might say: here is someone who fits my definition of a man, who has masculine traits, who is also a good influence on the world. He can sit happily within society and be held up as a “real man” because it’s a good idea to hold this person as a role model for young men.

But there is no fixed definition or set of rules to follow to be one.

millenium-pigeon · 2025-05-12T18:58:11+00:00

Schrödinger’s masculinity.

Depends if it’s being observed, by who, and all the context.

Impressive-Baby5068 · 2025-05-12T19:53:22+00:00

Someone that isn’t a vain, noisy attention whore that smiles and laughs his way through life like a circus monkey.

A real man defines himself by his actions, not his appearance.

Women do not share these values, which is why there’s so much friction between men and women that don’t know each other very well.

septiclizardkid · 2025-05-13T14:40:01+00:00

"Real man" refers to masculinity, taking It literal as a real human male Is silly.

"What are the values of manhood?" Is the question. What makes a good man, human, good?

Man In the context of human, a real man doesn't harm others, a real man Is rational and collected. A real man knows when to stick up for others, but also knows when to listen, communicate. A real man works hard, enjoys life and what It gives.

but the guy who did something horrid Is a man...just not a real one. Only by the confines of being male, their humanity says otherwise. The way they act(ed).

Zestyclose_Sugar4573 · 2025-05-16T12:39:22+00:00

I am not a "real" man.

I am a "kept" man.

AnxiousPeggingSlut · 2025-05-11T21:56:07+00:00

It’s always been a form of generational hazing among men, mostly. 🙄

Key-Faithlessness-29 · 2025-05-12T11:53:37+00:00

A man who does anything a woman needs/wants for her convience and expects nothing back is what a real man is to women. Also add up the physical traits without whom they'd disqualify him immediately as he is not good looking enough to help.

Honestly it's just something people in power (nowadays some women) use to manipulate men who are insecure of their masculinity (that is most men these days) it also has a way of upholding toxic masculinity and a leading cause of rash behaviour and violence among men.

Title	What is a real man
Author	Equal_Simple5899
Upvotes	20
Comments	74
Date	May 11, 2025 8:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kkafzw/what_is_a_real_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-a-real-man.1551929 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551929

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