If your bf/husband died how would you react? How would it impact your life and how long would you wait before moving on?

cb8585b · 2026-03-25T13:26:00+00:00

This is a really stupid question. You don’t know how grief will manifest till it hits you. Fact of the matter is life goes on even if you can’t move on. Most people especially if they have kids will have to attempt to navigate their grief in a way that facilitates that. When my grandma died I would get triggered by songs, smells, birds, fabrics, patterns she’d like etc until one day I had to flip a switch to find those things comforting instead. So I’d probably be much like that.

prettywords_ · 2026-03-25T12:34:20+00:00

I don't know if I'd ever get over it. I don't even want to think about it. He's my everything.

mlo9109 · 2026-03-25T12:41:48+00:00

Single, but have seen this situation taken to the extreme in my family. My aunt lost her husband to cancer in their 50s. She hasn't even been on a date in the 25 years since.

She treats my cousin, her adult child, as a substitute spouse. It's truly sad. She deserves to be happy and I'm sure her husband would want that for her, too.

While I wouldn't date before the body is cold, I'd eventually date after losing a spouse. It makes me so happy to see widow(er)s find love after loss. They deserve it.

And before anyone says anything, yes, I would want my spouse to date again if they outlived me. They deserve to be happy, even if it's with someone else.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-03-25T14:19:01+00:00

How can anyone possibly answer those questions? All anyone can answer is what they think would happen, but they won’t know until they’re in that situation.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-03-25T13:49:59+00:00

If my husband died i would lose my best friend and social support. I would be absolutely devastated. It wouldn't have an impact on my economic position but it would shatter me emotionally to the absolute core. To the point of me not being sure if I wanted to be here without him. I might be able to continue living or not. I will never know unless I am in that position. I wouldn't be in a relationship again that much is sure. I was single for 5 years before I met him. He is my everything. Ngl. Just thinking about the possibility of him not being in my life makes me teary eyed.

AngeAware · 2026-03-25T12:48:48+00:00

Every morning I wake up I'd be asking God why this is happening again

Never, get ready for Sister Ange

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-03-25T12:52:06+00:00

Me n husband have talked about this incase the worst should happen.

Firstly, yes, it would be absolutely devastating. Immediately mine and my kids life would be in upheaval. We have things in place so financially we’ll be better than fine, but realistically we’d want to move and start a new life somewhere.

I don’t want to be alone forever, same with him, but I know I would still feel married even if he wasn’t here. I would probably wait until the kids were adults or at least teenagers before I brought another man into their life. I don’t do casual and I couldn’t be bothered with it either.

He’d need to be a special guy but no I don’t think I’d ever remarry.

BrightPapaya1349 · 2026-03-25T12:57:39+00:00

I don't think I could ever move on from the death of a loved one that is so precious to me like my boyfriend. The only other person whose death would affect me as much would be my mom, and she came close to die when I was a child due to cancer. So far the only people I've lost haven't been very close to me, like my aunt, all my grandparents, etc. so I can't say for sure how I would react to the death of someone that close.

Realistically, based upon my understanding of myself, this is what would happen if I lost my boyfriend :

- For around a month (maybe more) I would be very emotional and go through the early stages of grief. I would prioritize getting a doctor's note from work to get some time off to heal. I think I would want to be with his family and friends a lot. I fully expect to develop depression as a result of his death, potentially even suicidal ideation (it's happened before for less than this, but I am now more aware of my patterns and actively try to prevent ever getting there again so who knows).
- Knowing myself it would take me less time to open up sexually than emotionally... this might take years honestly.
- Ultimately since I am only 26, I don't think it's realistic to say that I would never find love again. It doesn't mean that I would ever forget about my boyfriend or stop loving him though. I see myself keeping a lot of his stuff around the house (we own a house together) and not moving for quite a while.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2026-03-25T13:04:20+00:00

I would be absolutely devastated. My dogs would be devastated. His family would be devastated.

We bought a house with an in-law home to house his mom. His dad is a POS and getting his mom somewhere safe was top priority. His sister will also be moving to our property. The MIL house isn’t ready so she lives with us right now. She’s awesome.

So based on that background - I would be picking up the pieces and holding down the fort for half of his family.

I hold no romantic notions that to remain without a partner is some noble sacrifice - especially to a dead man. I would move on when I felt ready. I don’t have children so that could potentially be quick, especially for the physical aspect - but I also know how much I love my husband. I know the incredible standard he has set. I married him because we were compatible. I picked him because he was better than the other men I was seeing. I know what’s out there and I know he’s the best. So i dont know if it would be fair to another man to date him knowing he’ll never measure up to a dead man.

On the other hand I may not survive his passing.

I don’t think I’d ever remarry. I married him because we have shared goals and a future we are building together. If he were to pass, there would be no building with anyone else.

If my husband ever felt this way I’d be very upset. He deserves to be happy. He deserves to be loved. He deserves a wife who spoils him in my absence. He better move on and quickly. Or I’ll haunt him.

LettingHimLead · 2026-03-25T13:04:24+00:00

Been married 24 years and together for 27, so the impact would be huge. Of course there are the logical impacts - financial, logistics, but he’s been my best friend and partner since we were kids. I’ve been with him for longer than I’ve been without him. I don’t know what a world without him would even look like.

I would not remarry (or even date). My circle is large with family and friends, and I have no desire to start up a romantic relationship with someone else.

Waschbar-krahe · 2026-03-25T13:04:39+00:00

I don't think I'd ever get over it. I'd probably stay single for the rest of my life.

p_fulga · 2026-03-25T13:07:13+00:00

If I lost my partner, I know I wouldn't be the same person after. I'd be rough already trying to find somewhere to live and trying to go through all our things, but trying to keep up with work on top of it and handling the funeral and everything, I'm not sure how well I'd cope. We're attached at the hip. It wouldn't be pretty.

It'd be years before I'd be stable, let alone be ready to date. I can't really fathom an exact timeline but it wouldn't be quick.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-03-25T13:29:02+00:00

I don’t know how I could carry on. I would have to for my children but I don’t know how. It’s like he is a part of me at this point.

Every decision I make in life is with him in mind. Every choice resolves around him in some way.

He grounds me, makes me feel safe but also makes me feel like I can concur the world.

Perfect-Reading-761 · 2026-03-25T13:54:40+00:00

It would impact the rest of my life. I would not marry again.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-03-25T14:06:29+00:00

I have no idea how I’d react. I’d be heartbroken for one, and would probably be so for a long time.

I don’t know how long I’d wait to move on or how it would affect my life. I’m not very old so I’m not going to lie, I’d probably end up trying to find love again one day, but not for a very long time.

Feisty-Saturn · 2026-03-25T14:11:29+00:00

I can’t speak for myself because I have no clue how I would handle grief but I watched my best friend go through this, losing her fiancé suddenly. It was devastating for her. She went through different phases of being angry at god, being angry at herself, being angry at her fiancé, being sad, feeling isolated in her pain. She just started dating again, literally this month. This October will be 4 years since his passing.

She’s in a much better place and in a way optimistic that she will find a man better suited for her. Tbh her fiancé had a some red flags that we were unsure about. But the loss still hits her here and there. If there’s one woman who I feel was meant to be a mother, it’s her. Just the way she takes care of her loved ones. She’s about to be 30 and she finds herself suffering from depression. She’s had to leave social media because it’s hard for her to see people get married, engaged, have kids. It’s reminds her of the life she almost built with her fiancé.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-03-25T19:08:31+00:00

there is zero chance I would ever be with another man again ever in my life

VenusNoire_ · 2026-03-25T20:31:30+00:00

You cannot really predict how you’ll grieve a loss like that until you experience it. If you love someone deeply, though, the physical and psychological pain would likely be significant.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-26T13:06:22+00:00

You men are exhausting…one woman says she doesn’t want to think about it, a man is grilling her about her answer. Another woman says she would move on and hope her partner moves on, too. Another man isn’t satisfied with that answer. Others say they wouldn’t know until it happens. Y’all keep grilling about how long when they said they wouldn’t know because there isn’t an exact timeline to it. Like what do you even want to hear? God dayum

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-03-25T13:02:34+00:00

We’ve been together for almost 10 years now, I have no idea how I’d deal with it and manage to continue functioning. I can’t give you any time frame. I think if we had kids at that moment, I’d avoid dating for sure because I wouldn’t want to introduce someone new to kids.

On a flip side, if I dropped dead right now, I’d prefer husband to date again. We’re too young for him to stay celibate.

LettingHimLead · 2026-03-25T13:41:03+00:00

Been married 24 years and together for 27, so the impact would be huge. Of course there are the logical impacts - financial, logistics, but he’s been my best friend and partner since we were kids. I’ve been with him for longer than I’ve been without him. I don’t know what a world without him would even look like.

I would not remarry (or even date). My circle is large with family and friends, and I have no desire to start up a romantic relationship with someone else.

SocrateandAthena · 2026-03-25T14:18:46+00:00

I don't know how deep in the grief I would go, I'm actually concerned for my mental health and even my own life if the worst should happened. But realistically, I woudn't have the luxury of letting me go because I'd need to stay strong and present for my 2 very young boys grieving their father. That would be cataclismic for the 3 of us, and unfortunately, we would probably struggle financially a lot too, as I've prioritized my family life over my career for the last few years, working part time.

I hope I'd eventually rebuild myself and our lives, secure our future, then find myself open to engage in a new relationship some day, after a few years or more. Certainly not dating, but meeting someone organically and falling in love.

I've read your answers under the post OP and your opinion about women never dating again, but I truly believe you're wrong. Loyalty to your husband and his memory means keeping going in life and try to find love and happiness, just like he wished that for you when he was there. That's what I'd want for him if something happened to me. Teaching my boys that even the worst in life doesn't have to kill any hope of love and joy sounds important too. Plus, there's nothing worse and more guilt trapping than an aging lonely depressed mother. I'd want them to be able to grow and start their adult lifes with trust and enthusiasm, not constantly worrying about me. I'd want them assured that I'm fine with my own things going on in my life.

Ronniebbb · 2026-03-25T14:27:48+00:00

I know I would be utterly devastated and would definitely need time away from work and therapy.

As for the rest of the questions, I can't even begin to think about answering them. Idk if I'd ever be ready to date again or get remarried.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-03-25T14:48:08+00:00

I don’t think I would ever move on.

Disastrous-Produce47 · 2026-03-25T14:49:32+00:00

My husband is my soulmate. I'd still live my life because of our son, but I don't think I'd purposefully date again. However, I don't deny experiences that would positively add to my life, so if something happened to come along, I wouldn't shut myself off to the possibility.

love_in_october · 2026-03-25T16:42:03+00:00

I'd be devastated obviously. He's the most important thing in my life and I don't want to think about what things would be like if he passed. I certainly don't think I'd want to date anyone else for a long time. I'd always want to be the family of my in-laws no matter what.

I'm only 24 so I assume I'd remarry, but I don't think it could be the same. I've lost enough people to know it doesn't ever leave you, but you do keep going. My granny lived fifty years after my granda was murdered and she still spoke of her love for him on her deathbed (while she had many loving and fulfilling friendships and family relationships she never did remarry).

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-03-25T16:47:34+00:00

Context: I have been married for almost 21 years. I just turned 50 and my husband is about to turn 47. We dream of growing old together.

If he died, I would be devastated. I would cry a lot and probably spend a lot of time wishing for the years together that I thought we would be able to have. I would probably need therapy to deal with the loss.

I can’t say how long it would take for me to consider dating again. I assume it would take at least a few years before I even thought about it.

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-25T16:49:32+00:00

I'd be devastated. My whole world would change.

There isn't a specific time frame of waiting.

I'd date or fuck on whatever timeline works for me. I wouldn't take into consideration some man online who thinks that I should never love again.

Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2026-03-25T17:27:10+00:00

Tbh if my husband passed away, it would hit hard and I dunno how I’d handle it. I genuinely do not believe I would ‘move on’ or date afterwards

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-03-25T19:23:13+00:00

I'd be devastated. I imagine I might be open to dating again at some point, but I don't know when that would be. Maybe years, maybe never, can't really say.

Different_Cress7369 · 2026-03-26T09:11:29+00:00

My husband is older than me, and has some health challenges. Our main concern is ensuring his superannuation and life insurance will pay off our mortgage and go a ways to setting the kids up if the worst happens. I can’t being with anyone else. Maybe I would get a cat.

ScorpioDefined · 2026-03-25T12:42:58+00:00

I would feel bad for my kid (his daughter). And be a bit worried about the immediate future.

As a hypothetical single mom of a young girl, I wouldn't date anyone.

oppositegeneva · 2026-03-25T13:09:11+00:00

Soul shattering, my life would never look the same. I lost my father, my brother and my best friend in a 10 year time frame and I know the death of my husband would just destroy me

I would obviously have to keep it together for our 3 kids but I would never remarry or date again. No point, he’s my other half so there’s nothing else out there for me.

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CatallaxyRanch · 2026-03-25T20:40:14+00:00

I would be completely devastated. Literally I have nightmares and intrusive thoughts about this on a regular basis, it's the worst thing that could happen to me besides losing one of my kids.

Knowing how I've reacted to loss in the past, I'd fall into a deep depression and wouldn't want to get out of bed. But I have kids, so I'd have to, and hopefully the desire to be a good mom to them and help them navigate their own grief would give me some kind of will and purpose.

I don't even know how to answer the question of what the impact on my life would be. Literally every facet of my life would change beyond recognition.

I can't say how long it would take me to move on. Years, if ever. I can't see myself having the desire to date while my kids are still at home. Maybe once they're grown and have their own lives, I'd get lonely and be more open to finding someone else. I really have no idea.

Forsaken-Station-113 · 2026-03-25T22:32:38+00:00

I would be devastated. It would probably take me years to move on, and even then, not completely.

As for the actual moving on, i don't even know if i have the capacity of finding someone willing to date me. I only had two relationships before my current boyfriend, and it happened out of luck.

To be completely honest, after I move on from the crippling and depressive state of mourning and learn to live my days with the happiness I have left, I would give myself ten years to find someone new. If I can't...I would probably have no reason left to live.

Confident_Counter471 · 2026-03-26T03:30:02+00:00

I’d be devastated…I’ve thought about this before and I don’t think I would date again. I’d rather do a golden girls thing.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-03-26T07:13:35+00:00

Destroy me. I would be alone forever. I love him, he is the one. He cannot be replaced.

Title	If your bf/husband died how would you react? How would it impact your life and how long would you wait before moving on?
Author	Past-Shoulder-631
Upvotes	0
Comments	159
Date	March 25, 2026 12:32 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1s39etp/if_your_bfhusband_died_how_would_you_react_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-your-bfhusband-died-how-would-you-react-how.1576366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576366

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