I observe this is something of a constant. Every time this situation happens that a man leaves/doesn't go for a relationship after they've had sex, though she expected it, then the only socially accepted verdict is that he had this outcome planned from the start.

Gender flip the same, and the guy is deemed clingy and entitled.

Anyway, next to narrative, no nuances, no individual exceptions are allowed to exist.

I'll give a few.

- Many men can't properly figure out their feelings for someone unless they've had sex. Sometimes when he calls it off after that, it means doing it failed to resolve that question.

- Some men going into this don't accurately know if they want a relationship or not. Maybe they hope that sleeping with you will answer the question? Yes, he can lack clarity and communication, but those are at least not the same faults.

- Inexperienced men can feel overwhelmed and all that direct intimacy really felt too much for them to handle afterwards. Then they understand they really want to be volcels for a bit, figuring themselves out better.

- Some actually are seeking relationships, but their stance on sex is pragmatic and undramatic. It needs to work, and figuring out if it does is just part of the motions.

Chemistry might've felt very off then or insufficient. Perhaps it'd be honest then if he said "I really didn't feel great about this. I think this was a bit of a mistake."

But who could stand hearing that?

I can probably think of even more examples, but the point is that all of this is flattened by narrative. Ironically, those that are adamant holding it encourage relationship formation that come with serious problems built-in. It leads to even more hurt in the long run.

PS. You can "gotcha" this with "Then communicate better!" Absolutely valid. I'm in favor of straight people communicating as transparent as kinksters do, but it doesn't break my argument about different cause/same outcome.