Men are struggling to deal with the fact they don’t control what women find attractive any more

jackandjill22 · 2017-10-22T10:59:14+00:00

In the past it was men and religion who decided what was attractive.

Your first premise is wrong! They didn't decode who was ATTRACTIVE. They decided who women would marry - attraction to the man didnt even factor in.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-10-22T12:39:22+00:00

They never decided what was attractive at all. Nonsense history. A woman's family controlled who she married and didn't always care what she found attractive. Men chose husband's for their daughters that they wanted in their family and Women enforced what was acceptable and respectable, not attractive. Rogues have always been attractive and in the past of universal marriage, the female strategy was BB/AF like the old folk song Black Jack Davy

daveofmars · 2017-10-22T14:17:32+00:00

Men think they know what’s best for a young women. In fairness they share this belief with older women.

Let's reframe. Why do 20-something women think they know what's absolutely best for themselves?

In the past it was men and religion who decided what was attractive. A bad boy would’ve been condemned by the community and had a difficult time getting past her father. So like minded men essentially rewarded like minded men with the ultimate prize - women’s intimacy.

Not really. Everyone back then knew that cads were attractive. That's not the issue. The issue is that men and women, and society at large, and nearly all religions knew that attraction to cads was just temporary lust and that if a young woman who didn't know any better pursued that lust then she'd wind up alone with kids, which was a guaranteed ticket to poverty.

Now it’s time to listen to and observe women. We have no say in the matter any more.

Oh please. Leave the self-congratulatory white-knighting at the door. Yes we get it you're super progressive. I'm sure all the women dig that.

The issue isn't attraction. We aren't, and nobody ever was, telling women that beta provider is attractive and that cads are not. We all know and knew that cads are attractive, but also that dating cads would not end up well. That is the warning we gave young girls who didn't know any better, and yes 21 is still pretty young to know any better.

The real issue is that you have to balance what you find attractive with whatever future life goals you have, because those two things may conflict. You have to make people - men and women both - understand that you are building your future in the present and that who you date now will affect who you date later.

sublimemongrel · 2017-10-22T15:01:24+00:00

Women have always been in control of what they found attractive. It's just that they now have the freedom and independence to act on it.

caesarfecit · 2017-10-22T18:01:48+00:00

Men never decided what women thought attractive. It was just before men were the gatekeepers of commitment so relationships were a little more bilateral before, if not shifted in men's favor as women couldn't have sex outside of a relationship unless they were prepared to take big risks and be prepared to sacrifice their social status.

Now the balance has shifted in the complete opposite direction. Men's leverage over commitment means nothing today unless you're a Chad, and even then if you get married, the balance shifts back towards women again thanks to our fucked up family law system. So naturally, women's tastes are what sets the tone for the SMP today.

Butt-Factory · 2017-10-22T17:52:27+00:00

Modern men are struggling with the fact that a wife is no longer handed to them on a silver platter as a right. They're struggling with the fact that women no longer need a man as a matter of their very survival.

DashneDK2 · 2017-10-22T10:33:09+00:00

Women can be attracted to whatever they like. As long as the consequences of shitty choices fall on their own shoulders. Instead we have this weird setup where women can select shitty men to have children with - and then outsource the providing of the kids to other men (through taxation).

SasquatchMcKraken · 2017-10-22T16:04:10+00:00

Men have never controlled what women find attractive nor have they ever presumed to. Wealthy Roman female aristocrats were paying high prices for the oil their favorite gladiators used to clean themselves, for instance. This shit is primal and ancient. The problem is that today we deny what women find attractive, and when a group of dudes come together to point it out they're treated like atheists in the Middle Ages. One of the main premises of TRP is to say, bluntly, what women find attractive and suggest men carry it out.

mgtow_1 · 2017-10-22T09:37:11+00:00

I don't completely disagree with you, but the biggest change is women are no longer reliant on men. Feminism has been systemetically removing male advantages where possible and pushing for the government to provide things that males typically provided in the past. Sadly though men are slaves to their sex drives which makes them reliant on women. The balance of power has completely shifted in favor of women.

KrispyMcSockington · 2017-10-22T11:35:46+00:00

Judging by all the articles i've read with fat, ugly or old women trying to shame men for not finding them attractive, i'd say it goes both ways.

Now it’s time to listen to and observe women. We have no say in the matter any more.

This is correct to some degree, however it implies that women are infallible. That many women don't massively overestimate their own value, that they don't have completely contradictive values.

They want to earn as much as men, yet refuse to date men who earn less than them. They say they want emotionally available boyfriends, yet lose respect for them if they open up. They want men who are progressive, yet are not attracted to progressive men. They want men who help at home, yet lose attraction to them when they do etc.

goatismycopilot · 2017-10-22T19:31:50+00:00

Women were married to men they were not attracted to in the old days but that wasn't really a part of the cultural dialogue. Nobody cared if women were attracted to their husbands. You got married had eight million kids, died young, the men were either cannon fodder in war or in some factory and the women kept having babies unless they died in childbirth in which case they were quickly replaced or until they stopped being able to have babies. If you lived on a farm you wanted all those kids so you could put them to work if you lived in an urban area the kids at a certain age were expected to hustle and bring some money in. Individuality and choices were what UC folks had women were not "more" attracted to their husbands, if they seemed not horrible, if they even graduated high school they just married the first person who asked.

newName543456 · 2017-10-23T10:37:29+00:00

Men never controlled what women find attractive.

They might have enforced social contracts like marriage, but women wanted what they wanted all the same.

Nowadays men struggle, because even those social contracts now cannot be enforced and not everyone realizes they should be rejected if they want a happy life.

GridReXX · 2017-10-23T14:14:53+00:00

I don’t think men ever controlled what women actually found attractive.

Rather men and perhaps some women too, abided by social contracts they personally believed benefitted society at large.

It just happens that these contracts benefited men more than women when it came to matters of sexual fulfillment, attraction, and various personal freedoms.

arderacorn · 2017-11-26T20:29:36+00:00

If fathers where choosing who their daughters would marry then it goes to show that women didn't know WTF they was doing then.

DB605 · 2017-10-22T16:26:17+00:00

You're being too imaginative. Religion was a tool of socio-economic control. It wasn't devised as a means to steal chicks from chad. Sure it had that effect, but that wasn't it's purpose. Letting your daughter run off with a chad is a pretty terrible turn of events in a world were opportunity for social advancement is next to nil, and infant mortality is like 50%...

Men never controlled what women found attractive; they controlled who was an acceptable life partner, which objectively was an intelligent thing to control for the furthering of society.

We wouldn't be where we are today if every Jenny, Marie and Sue was hiking up her dress for every rake and chadscallion that came her way.

Entropy-7 · 2017-10-22T12:05:26+00:00

Society took its hands off the wheel 50 years ago, basically the year I was born. Our chickens have come home to roost. My life took a strange turn several years ago so I live in Asia and have a Asian fiance so I sort of have avoided most - not all but most - of this crap.

[deleted] · 2017-10-22T13:05:36+00:00

I think we're struggling more with the fact that we used to have the illusion that we controlled what they found attractive. We didn't, they just told us what we wanted to hear because they didn't have as much opportunity so they had to sacrifice to get some of what they needed.

The big, big, big thing to me is that while things have changed, women still act like they haven't. They're still telling us what we want to hear and then acting completely differently from what they're saying. They're still making the same demands of men, even though they now are more likely to make more money than men do.

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abaxeron · 2017-10-22T16:46:38+00:00

Or it didn’t. It won over her father and the wider community.

Ban of arranged/forced marriages in Europe is as old as civil law. Every time someone brings up "arranged marriages were the norm X years ago", I want to find out who started this myth and piss on their grave.

Whisper · 2017-10-22T19:13:12+00:00

What do you mean, "any more"? How old do you think these men are?

As long as you perceive men as an immortal hive mind, their behaviour will always be a mystery to you.

sec-1x · 2017-10-22T19:25:57+00:00

I guess we should conveniently forget in the past there wasn't an epidemic of single parent households and divorced parent households.

[deleted] · 2017-10-22T23:44:48+00:00

I’m not sure men are actually struggling tho are they? I mean I think they look around and see what they need to do. If they’re inclined to then they do what’s necessary and if they’re not, they don’t.

Carkudo · 2017-10-23T03:46:07+00:00

Anymore? So, like, I used to be able to control it but now can't, and that's what made me so frustrated about being an incel?

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-10-23T22:02:28+00:00

Men think they know what’s best for a young women. In fairness they share this belief with older women. It is exactly the reason the quieter, humbler boys are beloved by her mother and grandmother but she stills friend zones him and fucks the bad boy they all hate.

Sooo.... wait..... are you suggesting that boys are trying to fuck their mothers and grandmothers?....

In the past it was men and religion who decided what was attractive.

I don't think that's how it works........

Treat her nicely. Be a provider. It’s hard for us to believe but this actually won the affections of young women at one time. Or it didn’t. It won over her father and the wider community. Obviously she still desired the bad boy.

Women want both. A bad boy will give her feels, and a provider will give her comfort. If women can find a bad boy provider (aka, an "Alpha"), that's all they'll ever need, but in most cases, they'll settle with a provider and look for a "bad boy" on the side. Having your cake and eating it too is always better than just having it.

Now it’s time to listen to and observe women. We have no say in the matter any more.

If you're willing to lie down and become a doormat, that's your choice, but I'll stay alone until I find someone who wants to stand on equal footing with me. I'm not going to let everyone else dictate to me how I live my life.

czerdec · 2017-10-24T21:20:32+00:00

Jesus, how easily led would women have to be to have their own sexual responses dictated by the tribe?

Show me evidence that anyone in power in any country made a serious effort to control what kind of men women wanted to marry.

I mean, maybe Hitler or Caligula or some mad warlord, at a stretch. But 99% of ruling elites truly don't give fuck one.

Feminism has been trying like crazy to get us to find obesity sexy, with no success beyond the subculture that always preferred an extra eighty pounds of adipose tissue on their eye candy, and will do so after feminism is long forgotten.

[deleted] · 2017-10-26T15:37:55+00:00

Not really.

Men are struggling to deal with the fact that for the most part, they don't KNOW what women find attractive anymore.

Men are also struggling to deal with the fact that they CAN'T BE what women find attractive.

1UPZ_ · 2017-10-22T10:04:16+00:00

There should be a long term safe medicine or supplement that lowers a man's sex drive without affecting his testosterone as he needs that for a muscular and strong build.

This way, men don't become a slave to their sex drive in turn, attention to women is significantly reduced leading to most men focusing on other things again

Wolfen_To · 2017-10-23T02:27:43+00:00

Patriarchal/traditional practices of controlling women's was always a strategy by unattractive at getting a shot at mating. What they couldn't get with reciprocal attraction was obtained by force.

Johnny_Lawless_Esq · 2017-10-23T16:13:24+00:00

I didn't think it was possible to get this much straw into one post.

Title	Men are struggling to deal with the fact they don’t control what women find attractive any more
Author	PracticedPrick
Upvotes	9
Comments	365
Date	October 22, 2017 9:17 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/77z9nf/men_are_struggling_to_deal_with_the_fact_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-struggling-to-deal-with-the-fact-they-dont.265207 https://theredarchive.com/post/265207

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