If you are fat and there is nothing stopping you, why aren't you losing the weight?

reluctantly_red · 2020-01-30T12:08:09+00:00

Because they are demotivated and don't have good support system around them to help them. For the same reason why incels stay at home and play videogames all day instead of trying to improve. For the same reason why people with dead end jobs don't try to look for better jobs. For the same reason why people keep doing ANY unhealthy habit even though it's bad for them.
Some people just need a little bit of love and support and a gentle push in the right direction instead of people shaming them.

garbage_gemlin · 2020-01-30T14:04:48+00:00

So im not overweight but I used to be chubby as a teen. I lost the weight because the pain of hating how I looked was greater than the pain of dieting/working out. I’ve heard it quoted that nobody makes a change unless the pain of changing is less than the pain of continuing as is. IN my experience, this is super true. I didn’t quit drinking until it was ruining my life. I didn’t start therapy and working on my issues until i had lost a friend.

SO if somebody is overweight, but it isn’t as painful for them as the pain of dieting, working out and maybe not partaking in certain high calorie social events, why would they do it? I’ve seen answers in this thread that say, I feel fine, I don’t hate myself, I have friends and a SO that I love and they don’t have a problem with my weight, I am very busy. And then people respond that these people should be doing anything in their power to lose weight. But IMO it is completely reasonable for people to do an internal cost benefit analysis and decide whether or not all of that work is worth it.

PapaPinyun · 2020-01-30T15:03:57+00:00

Most people burn thru all their productive chemistry just paying their bills is why

Sea_Leek · 2020-01-30T13:18:03+00:00

food tastes good and makes me happy homie

QuestionablePresenc3 · 2020-01-30T11:28:59+00:00

I went from overweight (well, maybe not american tier overweight) in my teens to skinny fat in my early 20s to normal 15-ish% body fat now at 30 and I didn't notice any particular difference in how people treated me. There is honestly no real incenctive or reward to care about it unless you are obese and it hinders your daily life.

Rufus_Reddit · 2020-01-30T14:58:35+00:00

If you're stupid, and there's nothing stopping you, why aren't you smart?

If you're poor, and there's nothing stopping you, why aren't you rich?

If you're an asshat and there's nothing stopping you, why aren't you nicer?

In order for a question like this to make sense, we have to assume that people have realized agency in ways that they often do not, and that things don't exist unless someone can put a name to them. (Don't know what's stopping you? Guess there can't be anything then.)

... more attractive and healthier ...

I went from BMI 44 to 30. That's morbidly obese to borderline obese. It didn't really have a huge impact on my quality of life.

Johnnycage456 · 2020-01-30T11:51:44+00:00

As Kate Moss said 'food doesn't taste as good as being skinny feels'

Well, for lots of us it's the opposite. Whilst I'm not 'fat' I'm on the cusp of being over weight (BMI of 24). I know I would be a lot sexier if I lost weight, but I really love food. I love meat, cheese, crackers, fry ups, I love meals out and I couldn't live with out it. To me the joy of indulging over rides how good I would feel if I was skinny.

Just about to fry some gammon and have it with some egg in a sandwich mmm.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-01-30T12:52:45+00:00

There's my 50hour job and my 40hour school and 42 hours at minimum for sleep and I prefer to have Fun with my remaining 36 hours

barbodelli · 2020-01-30T15:51:52+00:00

I think people underestimate how many simply don't know how to lose weight. Try googling "how to lose weight". See how much absolute nonsense you get as a result. If you know the magic formula "Calories out > Calories in" all those articles are obvious bullshit. But if you don't you can be let down a rabbit hole. After a while when everything you try fails because you're being given shitty information to begin with. You just say the "the hell with this shit I'd rather just eat".

I was lucky because when I was in high school my mother talked me into dieting. I lost 30lbs and felt infinitely better about myself. If she hadn't done that I may have never figured it out on my own. Yes the information is out there but you have to dig through a whole lot of bullshit to get to it. And how the fuck are you going to be able to tell them apart if you've never succeeded before?

Hour_Scarcity · 2020-01-30T16:08:03+00:00

You’ve answered your own question. The reason fat people aren’t losing weight is because they have factors in their life preventing them, whether it’s time, their genetics, a medical condition, money, access to help like a dietician, trainer, etc.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-30T16:22:52+00:00

I lost 40 lbs over the last year. It didn’t change too much about my life except I had to buy new clothes and I look better in photos. Then I broke my ankle (again) and now I am skipping meals in a desperate attempt to keep the weight off since last time I broke it 2 years ago I gained like 10 lbs over 3 months. It makes me sad to see cheese.

FinchRosemta · 2020-01-30T18:36:18+00:00

I have been both skinny and obese (level 1 and 3).

I can honestly say I felt my happiest in Obese Level 1 (between 30 and 32 BMI). When I was skinny, all I worried about was getting fat and how it would be horrible and how ppl would treat me bad. I had to make sure I was thinner that this person or that person. It was a constant battle should I fall off and gain even the smallest amount of weight.

Anyway, I gained weight. Guess what all the shit was worried about did not happy. I did not lose my friends, I was still employed making more money each year in my career (one that is based on looks btw). Life did not come to a screeching halt. It was actually kinda refreshing. The worst thing that could have happened did and I was OK. I didn't have to stress myself out and deal with anxiety over food. I got worse comments about my body being thinner than I did being fat. It was this liberating feeling I swear. I could also still do the shit I wanted to do. I hiked, small, played with my siblings and cousins.

Anyway, I am smaller again but no longer freaked out about gaining weight. I lost 80lbs. I know what the other side of that looks like. It's not the end of the world.

Shadow_Of_ · 2020-01-30T15:36:16+00:00

Just don't expect us to think you're attractive for being fat. You can't eat your cake and have it too.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-01-30T16:59:23+00:00

A big big big one is bad diet advice

Like there are so many people offering quick fixes and peddling misinformation that even for someone who wants to get fit, it can be tough to sift through all of it in order to find a few grains of truth

For me learning to count calories was the best and the easiest thing ever, honestly much easier than anything else. It takes like 5 minutes a day after you get the hang of it

Willow-girl · 2020-01-30T13:11:15+00:00

Being thin in modern America takes real work (meal planning, calorie-counting and whatnot) and I'd rather spend that time and energy elsewhere. I'm healthy and my body does what I need it to do. If being a few pounds overweight helps deflect some unwanted random male attention, that's a plus AFAIC!

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sse23 · 2020-01-30T14:37:34+00:00

Most fat people are fat because of other underlying psychological issues, not because they just love eating.

Therefore "why don't you just work out and loose weight" is a moot point"

It's like telling an anorectic to just eat more.

niaiserie · 2020-01-30T16:44:34+00:00

There is never nothing stopping someone from losing weight. Everyone has obstacles to overcome. You don’t have to believe me, but I say this as a registered dietitian who runs an adult weight management program. Most recently, I’ve noticed my patients fret the infrequent feasts and binges while ignoring their everyday habits. I had a guy who went through six gallons of milk a week, but preferred to worry about his occasional snack binges. So, sometimes we don’t even recognize the significance of our own behaviors and we misallocate our energies.

Also, just because you value attractiveness and health doesn’t make them universal values. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t truly value either, at least in themselves. Some people think “I am as God made me” and some people don’t believe obesity is unhealthy, eg, the Health at Every Size camp. Some people are fatalistic about their health and truly believe it is out of their control entirely.

Darkseeker_Mau · 2020-01-30T17:59:01+00:00

If you are fat and there is nothing stopping you, why aren't you losing the weight?

Loosing weight falls into the category of a sustained repetitive behavior.

Given the fact that our ancient ancestors didn't "need" to loose weight, because being fat was a sign of nourishment, or either because intense droughts and scarcity made them loose weight by force.

It is inherently wired into people's very anatomy to always consume energy and spend as little of that energy as possible, and that creates obesity.

I think that the only diets that work are the ones that force the individual to live as if scarcity was a condition, that means: getting rid of all sources of sugar and wheat. Fasting like our ancestors used to, and only having sources of protein and fat that satiates hunger for the longest amounts of hours.

And given the fact that very few individuals are adept in the art of restructuring their biological impulses, we are bound to see more than a few failures.

So don't loose hope, and keep on keeping on.

the-red_woman · 2020-01-30T11:04:34+00:00

Why make this sort of post?

It irritates me to no end that men feel personally offended when a woman does not appear sexually attractive to them. It’s not her duty to make your dick hard ffs

The audacity and the ego is astonishing and horrifying.

Disclaimer: I am skinny but despise hypocrisy

Eastuss · 2020-01-30T11:14:12+00:00

I'm around 25 to 30% BF as a dude. I've always been like that, my belly was already protruding at 3 year old, my family has always been like that, and it has always been difficult changing it. My weight has always been very stable and I'm slimmer/more muscular than my parents and siblings, surprisingly.

I could loose a bit of weight when I was a student, because I was independent and could diet and work out properly, and had enough time and incentives because I was single.

But since then I've found a LTR partner and I've had other responsibilities stacking up. People vastly underestimate how fat I am. Weight was never directly an issue to anything, so the incentives to get slim were never important in the hierarchy of things to do. When I start having a stable workout and diet routine, I get sick or I hurt myself, it has never been rewarding so far.

I've never stopped trying, but I've never been diligent enough.

Slight sleep apnea is maybe not helping though, and as I age, things work as a vicious circle.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-01-30T14:36:22+00:00

Because it is a myriad of what got them in the situation to begin with...it requires lack of discipline, hard work and no impulse control.

Most people do not have the ability to conquer one of those much less all three...…

I have been asked to "help" nearly 3 dozen different friends, girls and others in getting in shape in just the past 2 years....nearly 90% can not commit for even a week before "something" comes up so they must skip this workout, that workout or they will start stopping the soft drinks, cakes and McDonalds after so and so birthday next week, then it is the next week then it is after Christmas, Valentine's Day, and so on.

1 in 10 of them will adjust to changing their lifestyle.....and I am not even one of those hardcore trainers, because for most people not looking to be fitness models, I start with easy stress weight training for either 30mins 3x a week or 45 mins 2x a week. These people are so full of shit...they don't have 1.5 hours out of the 168 hours in a week but then they will come to happy hour talking incessantly about the 12 hours they spent sitting on their ass watching some shitty series back to back on Hulu.

wtknight · 2020-01-30T16:50:10+00:00

Losing weight is not fun. It takes effort to both exercise regularly and to change one’s diet so that it’s a healthy one. Often times it involves learning to cook rather than eating junk food, fast food or restaurant food, as well as learning to drink less (alcohol and/or soda).

At some point people need to make a choice that the health and SMP/RMP benefits of this are worth the inconvenience of the changes.

stonedkyuby · 2020-01-30T21:05:59+00:00

I've been on a regular fasting and exercise regiment since the end of may, and I still feel extremely fat. My stomach protrudes in my clothes, and even though my friends will point out that I've lost weight I continue to feel stagnant and I'm sure outsiders see that as well. When I go to the gym I see a man that's there almost every time working out extremely hard, who is still very overweight. I've I've approached by my other overweight coworker asking how I go so long without eating and any progress I've made.

Many people in this thread have made similar points, about the need to change, support systems, systemic hurdles, but there's another thing that needs to be understood. Lots of obese and overweight people are already trying, but the process is so slow and tedious it can seem insignificant and even stagnant. This can make people give up, and that's why its important for observers to be understanding.

ninja_deli · 2020-01-30T21:50:32+00:00

They aren't uncomfortable enough to change the habits they like, meaning they aren't uncomfortable enough with the way the look to stop eating so damn much. Or they don't have the mental fortitude to do what they know they need to do, which is to stop eating so damn much. And those are the ONLY reasons. It's not actually hard to lose weight unless you have a health condition preventing you from doing so, which most people don't have. The hardest part is the mental part.

PlainSlim · 2020-01-31T02:13:19+00:00

It's either they don't understand how to lose weight or they don't care enough about their health/appearance to eat less or exercise more

couldbemage · 2020-01-31T06:09:34+00:00

Eating food that tastes good is cheap fun. So people are fat for the same reason they are drunks, do drugs, etc. It's really that simple.

Being fit is a hobby I enjoy. If it wasn't, I'd be fat.

ontherailstoday · 2020-01-31T13:13:02+00:00

I'd rather spend my time doing my hobbies. Also food is delicious. And significant calorie deficit feels like shit and tanks my energy levels.

Oh and a long term sinus/dental/ear problem that has fucked with my balance and made exercise a more difficult thing. Sob.

I've sort of managed to make a start on it this past 6 months (weightgrapher is a really easy site that helps me iron out the ups and downs and know what figure to aim to get below this week) but really can't be arsed aiming for more than about a kilo lost per month. So long as it is consistent and ongoing I'm fine with that right now. I don't actually mind the aesthetic side of being fat, I'm in no hurry and content to plod forward. I don't think most health nazis would actually see me as effectively losing weight so whatevs.

> For the sake of this conversation. Fat is being defined as having flabby skin wherever this is most prominent depending on your fat distribution.

Lol, dude, at age 50 a lot of folks start to get saggy here and there just because, fat or no fat.

FreakXAurora · 2020-01-31T14:43:41+00:00

Well I’ve had problems loosing weight due to medication, addiction and mental health issues. I want to and I’m currently trying to lose 50 pounds (to be at a healthy weight I’d only need to lose 30). But it’s harder than a lot of people think because you have to change your ingrained habits, your lifestyle, your mindset.

itsrealnibbahours · 2020-01-31T15:54:01+00:00

Because my life is trash, my mother shames me and my weight, its easy to just give into it instead of improving, i have no control in my life and the only thing i can control is what i eat. It can be a lot of factors but one i see all the time is when someone eats because eating is the only thing they can control or it gives them comfort. You hear this a lot in the show “my 600 lb life,” that food is a comfort for trauma. Not a good one though.

I have been giving effort to lose weight though.

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-01-31T18:58:36+00:00

Because there’s other issues in my life that need address before I care about my weight. Also, dieting SUCKS. I’ve tried diets and I was far more miserable than just eating my whoppers.

tropiew · 2020-01-31T21:56:44+00:00

Some people just can't. Genetically. And some people just don't have the willpower to do it.

GibsonL6 · 2020-02-01T14:12:12+00:00

Because it's about 50000 times harder to "just lose weight" than any healthy person realizes. It's like being addicted to crack, except it's literally impossible to go cold Turkey because its required to survive, and people all around you are saying "it's just one hit three times a day and no more, it's not hard bro just do it. Man up"

AngryNurse2019 · 2020-02-02T02:10:33+00:00

What kind of weird definition of “fat” is this? Almost all women would fall under that definition. Almost all of these women have sex.

MrShakedown1 · 2020-02-04T00:39:01+00:00

Not sure if it's an excuse, but I have episodes of asthma attacks, mostly when I catch serious cold and get cough. In order to thwart it somehow I need to take steroids and guess what ? Their side effect is they make you more hungry/fuck up hormones balance, so you get fat. I have been fat ( double chin, belly - typical for hormone inducted fatness from what I read ) since I remember as small kid.

I recall that I had episodes of being moderately OKish weight wise ( 186 cm / 85 - 90kg, still had slight belly fat ) , but it fucking costed me mental pain: like eating only cottage cheese 2 times a day + veggies + some light dinner, combined with 8h cardio playing basketball or swimming in sea during vacations. I was almost normal weight, but was also mentally perma drained/tired. And if you stop working out, your body naturally gets back to your old "normal". That's not demotivating....that's demoralising.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2020-02-04T00:45:58+00:00

I am losing really slowly. I really like food which is my problem.

king_of_red_alphas · 2020-02-08T20:11:43+00:00

Man, the excuses and equivocating on this thread are hilarious.

What I find especially funny is that so many of the fat women posting here will also jump on men who talk about how much work he has to do to merely be fuckable, saying shit like "Oh Boo Hoo! You have to work for it? (job, fitness, confidence, hair, height, etc) Tough shit! Man up!" etc.

More than half of the posters here that are fat, I've seen lambasting men for all manner of weakness of character / behavior. Yet, when it comes time to not stuff your fat face - that's suddenly an undue hardship because.. "I love food!" or "I work a lot!". Then you turn around and call men losers for watching porn or playing video games lmao.

Plus, a drunk Chad fucked you once, so that means you're "fine how you are"

And also (once again) TRP will tell a man to STFU and lift / get in shape if he wants to have a chance.

FDS? Nope. "You go fat queen! Lizzo is stunning and brave and so are you! Don't change nothin for no man!"

God forbid you eat at a 500 calorie deficit.

ScootsScoots · 2020-01-30T13:45:03+00:00

Because they are children. I've noticed fat people usually lack discipline in many areas of their lives, not just the ability to put the fucking donut down.

If you've ever had to hang around an obese person for a day, at work, family event, etc. and you've been able to observe how they eat you stop feeling sorry for them REAL quick. Its fucking disgusting. Doubled up fast food meals with very little time before the next meal. Two big gulps from 7/11. Not a single healthy piece of food in this disgusting orgy of consumption either. God forbid the fatty eat some oatmeal without a pile of sugar in it.

I lump fat people in with the alcoholics and drug addicts because I dont feel sorry for any of them.

DissonanceBadger · 2020-01-30T16:24:04+00:00

We can start with the fact it’s not so easy to do. I tried to lose weight multiple times without success. I then did a test that genetically analyzed your gut microbiome composition, and cross references it with blood tests, and found out that the majority of “healthy” foods I was eating when I wanted to lose weight lead to big blood sugar level spikes, which is terrible for weight loss. This includes “no calories” foods such as rice cakes and complex carbohydrates with low glucogenic score like buckwheat. I can basically only eat fats and proteins and some really carbohydrate light foods like cucumbers, tomatoes, etc.

Title	If you are fat and there is nothing stopping you, why aren't you losing the weight?
Author	unoriginalname16253
Upvotes	16
Comments	231
Date	January 30, 2020 11:01 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ew3p32/if_you_are_fat_and_there_is_nothing_stopping_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-are-fat-and-there-is-nothing-stopping-you.316254 https://theredarchive.com/post/316254

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