This, I find, is probably the most useful tool for getting rid of bluepill during the early transitional phrases. My friend and I would say this to each other regularly whenever we had a oneitis, and it stung at first but it was like being reborn.
You need to have a friend that will regularly say this to you, whenever you get too attached to a girl, if you are in early redpill stages.
It may not be true but it is USEFUL. Srsly, the most useful, direct phrase to destroy bluepill philosophy.
"She's so funny" Probably out getting fucked.
"She's a born again Christian, not like the other girls" Probably out getting fucked.
"If girls dont like nice guys then how come Jessica said she wants a kind and caring provider?" Because she's probably out getting fucked.
"Why does my girlfriend suddenly get really mean for no reason" She 'gettin fucked.
"Why would she betray her husband if shes married?" You know the drill . . .
When I was growing up, a friend of the family, he was older than me, was like a big brother to me.
As his "little brother", he genuinely wanted the best for me, tried to guide me, tried to impart the lessons he learned from his mistakes, tried to explain how the world worked to me. As much as anyone in this life, I loved him. To me, he was family.
He met the girl of his dreams at his work. She eventually got a better job but they moved in together. Lived together for four year. I thought they were the "perfect couple" but I was young and naive and just starting college myself.
He got cancer. He spend about three months in the hospital and when he came home, she said she was leaving. Said she found Christianity and couldn't live in sin anymore. He asked, what about the four years we were together, where was this Christianity thing then? Then he said OK, I love you, marry me. No more sin that way. She said No.
He died a year later. He loved her until the end. Not something he said to her, not something he said to anyone else, but to me in private, he said even though she abandoned him when he was at his lowest, that he loved her. To be fair to him, he was sick. Also this was like getting hit with a truck all at once. He was also getting chemo and lots of medication. This is one time where I will say I don't want to hear any "He was blue pill and a loser" fucking horseshit. So he loved her until the end, that's how he felt and he was honest to me about it.
When he died, I did not see him. At the very end, he was in a bad way and told his brother not to let me see him. He didn't want me to remember him "that way" In his eyes, and I understand it, I was still just a kid, I was to be protected, it wasn't something he wanted to inflict onto me in his eyes.
He did see one of his very close adult friends he worked with and he told him "Never trust a woman, never"
That same guy he told, I ran into years later, and told me that he found out that the ex girlfriend had started cheating on my "big brother" about two weeks after he was in the hospital. She had already written him off as dead. My good friend, my "big brother", the guy who tried to school me the right way and guide me, the guy who would have DIED FOR THIS WOMAN, was throwing up and getting irradiated while she had some other dudes fucking dick in her mouth.
What helps me with women, and I learned very young, is imagine you are dying. What would she do. Would she stay? Would she hold on to the bitter end? Would she love you just as much as the first day? To me, this is the litmus test of a woman's character and one of the biggest reasons I will likely never get married.
When he was no longer useful, she left him to fucking die. Most of them will leave you to fucking die as well ( who the fuck are we kidding, AWALT)
This does not just apply to girls, this applies to all people - Invest in those who invest in you. Invest in good character. Be a good character person yourself. Treat others how you want to be treated yourself, just filter out the truly shitty people from your life first. The only people I call "friends" are people who would give me a kidney if I was dying, would go down with me to the last fucking bullet, would ride and die with me if I had to take on the entire fucking world.
Can you find a guy like that? A true brother? Sure, not easy but not impossible.
My "big brother" would have died for me. Not one moment of hesitation. I would have died for him. He was my family.
Can you find a woman like that? Sadly no, but if you do, then maybe you've found a keeper. She will still be AWALT, but maybe there's a chance for you. I don't think such a woman exists, but if others want to hope, I wish them well in their search.
"They will leave me to die alone, no matter what I've done or how much I love them, when I serve no more use to them."
That right there is how I completely disassociate any real investment in any woman out there.
Awesome comment man, thanks for posting. And at the risk of sounding trite (I'm sure you've heard this before, but I'll say it again anyway): I'm sorry for your loss (re: your "big brother").
I went through something similar about 10 years ago (although my process wasn't quite as long and drawn out, and I didn't die, obviously, though I came very, very close): I was engaged to a woman at the time, a young Russian girl who, I thought, was "The One" (so you already know where this is going)...
Was friends with her for almost a year before we finally started dating (major red flag right there, little did I know at the time), dated for a couple of months and then she hit me with "I'm going back to Russia to visit my family, if I get stuck there, you'll come and get me, right? You'll MARRY me, and bring me back to the States, right??" "Sure!!" I said, thrilled that my one-itis and I would be tying the knot shortly. Of course the girl got stuck in Moscow, couldn't come back to the States (visa problems), I flew over to marry her, and the authorities actually wouldn't let us do it (despite the fact that I had all the paperwork etc), because, get this, they didn't believe we were a real couple!! (There's another red flag for you, when a total stranger doesn't believe that the girl sitting next to you could possibly be your real girlfriend.) The woman who worked at the marriage license office said "Come back in 2 months, if you still want to get married then, we'll let you do it." "No prob!" I said, "See you in two months!!"
So I get back to the States, start having trouble breathing (I'd already had it for a few months but now it was getting REALLY bad, like I could barely walk), saw a bunch of doctors, nobody knew what was wrong with me, and then finally, one day I physically collapsed just getting out of bed. Rushed to the ER. Turns out: I have the most severe case of blood clotting they've ever seen. Docs can't believe I'm still alive. Can't believe I'm even breathing. They want to do open heart surgery ASAP--like, crack my chest open in the next 5 minutes, and start scraping. A friend pulls me aside and says "I overheard the docs talking, they don't think you're gonna make it. Anything you want to do IN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, do it now. You have 5 minutes." I told my friend where to find the screenplay I'd just finished (and who to get it to), then I texted my fiancee and said "Call me RIGHT NOW, I'm going into surgery, and I may not come back out. They don't think I'm gonna make it." (She knew about my breathing problems and that I'd been seeing doctors all over New York, so she would have known this was no joke.)
Thankfully, a new doc rushed in a minute later, and recommended they put me on blood thinners for a few hours first, to see if that'd help dissolve the clot. Surgery postponed--for now. I'm wheeled to the intensive care unit, where I sit for 10 FUCKING DAYS. Seriously, people who'd had full-on heart transplants came after I did, and then left before I did, it was that bad. The next day my mother arrives: the hospital, AGAINST MY WISHES, had contacted her, telling her flatly "Your son isn't gonna make it, come get the body as soon as you can." I joked "Yep, still here, I guess they miscalled that one..."
And of course, all this time: NO WORD FROM MY FIANCEE.
Finally, after almost a week in the ICU, I get a call from her. How am I doing?? she asks--like nothing's wrong at all, not a cloud in the sky. "Still alive" I say, "Though barely..." I ask why she didn't call earlier. There's a LOOOONG pause on the phone, and then (get this) she says "Baby, you know how it is... The phones, here in Russia..." (That's an exact, verbatim quote. I'll never forget it. Never.) I say "So let me get this straight: I tell you I'm dying in the hospital, and you're telling me that you couldn't call me because you couldn't find a working phone. IN MOSCOW." I couldn't. Fucking. Believe it. And then, here's the best part:
"You're still coming to marry me in a few weeks, right? We're still on for that, right?" I tell her Alas, no can do, thanks to my life threatening condition, which I'm still recovering from, I won't be flying anywhere for at least a year. Doctor's orders. "Oh" she says. "All right. Fine. Feel better. Bye." And that was it.
So the girl I thought I was in love with, was gonna spend the rest of my life with, etc etc: as soon as I'd exhausted my usefulness to her, I was forgotten in an instant. The fact that I'd almost died? Didn't matter one bit.
Briffault's Law above all else: the relationship continues so long as the woman continues to derive practical benefits from said relationship. WHEN THE WOMAN CAN NO LONGER DERIVE BENEFITS FROM THE RELATIONSHIP, THE RELATIONSHIP CEASES TO EXIST. If you're in the process of dying, all she's thinking is "Right, this guy's done, gotta find a new provider, let's see here..." And the hunt begins anew. (This assuming she doesn't already have backup guy in place, which she almost certainly does).
I like to think of is this way: a woman finding out her man is dying is like a man finding out his job is going to stop paying him soon. If your boss called you in and said "Hey man, we love the work you're doing here, but just to let you know, WE WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY YOU ANYMORE, STARTING 2 MONTHS FROM NOW", you'd start looking for a new job right away, right?
So it is with women and their men. We're just "jobs" to them, practical providers of products and services. Nothing more.
Hey, she told you to feel better. That was nice...
You know looking back I probably should have just told her "Yep, we're all good, see you in Moscow in a week!!"--and then never shown up.
Ghosted at the altar.
That job analogy makes too much sense.
Women view relationships the same way men view careers. You can even hear it when people talk about themselves.
Female description:
"I'm a mother, aunt,etc."
I even notice when they talk about their relationships they more commonly referred to their "fiancé, husband, boyfriend" rather than the person's name (John, Brad, and Chad).
Male description:
"I'm an engineer, doctor, lawyer etc." or "I snowboard, play football, video games etc."
Shit, dude, I don't know if this is common outside the UK, but girls here often say "the boyfriend" like "I'm going to see the boyfriend" or "the boyfriend and I are doing X". No name, just a role description.
It still happens here a lot. It's not really a big deal IMO if you don't know the person. Saying their SOs name would imply you knew that person.
I think it hit me the most when a very high up person in my company (female) gave the most retarded speech ever. She had just gotten married to someone else at my company. She had to give one of those quarterly speeches. During it she said "Me and my husband" about 50 times.
I also notice it with my co-workers. 1 guy refers to his wife as wife a lot. The other guy will say her name and then say oh that's my wife's name. It's an interesting / subtle way to see how people view their spouse.
They have to have a covert way of distinguishing between "the boyfriend" and the other guy(s) by the same name that their friends know they're also fucking.
To be fair, Russian women (and a lot of foreign women for that matter) are ruthless and devious. They learn from an early age.
This story sounds like a passport scam...
Sounds like you met a particularly horrible bitch who manipulated you from the start.
I'm all for AWALT, but there's no way most women are this ruthless.
Perhaps, but you're still better off believing that all people act out of sheer personal interest alone, and that they won't be there to get your back if there's no benefit to them.
Dude were you raised in foster care or something what the fuck.
Peter Griffin listening to Lionel Richie.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpnvTjtpyIg
Just being practical. The glass is already broken
This.
"Alright, feel better. Bye."
I wouldn't act like that if my friend had a fucking cold.
I would have to disagree, I have a cousin that spent a few years beating a really difficult cancer only to be cheated on by his wife and left for the other dude. So AWALT.
First thing I thought when I heard was well unfortunately you were weakened by your treatment and were weak overall. She had to take care of you so you became the energy vampire in the relationship. She had all the power in the relationship. So yeah AWALT.
I always figured if I get sick and can't take care of my wife she will cheat on me. I'm much happier not worrying about if it will happen and instead expect it and be prepared for it.
She is Russian, it is in their culture.
I disagree about Russia, but there's something about this in some people coming from Moscow. That city breeds ruthless competitiveness bordering with psychopathy.
Anyway it's just one red flag among a whole bunch of others in this guy's case. It's clear that this girl was just a dumb traveling student who wanted to party and continue traveling and a marriage to a foreigner was just easy means of doing that.
There's a reason ,why people from other regions of Russia don't like those fucking Moscvichi.
Being a heartless gold-digger shouldn't be part of any culture.
I absolutely agree: this was a more extreme case. And it's true that not all women will be this (ahem) "practical" about such matters.
BUT, at the same time, we must remember AWALT: all women HAVE THE POTENTIAL to be like this. Just like all guns have the potential to be loaded.
I've always been pretty cynical even in my BP days, but I agree that this is just a particularly extreme example. Shit, it always is when you have a woman who's trying to gain citizenship and using a man for it.
The fact is most people engage in relationships out of convenience and mutual benefit. We live in a stale society, it is relatively safe and most people will never have to be put through a trial of fire with someone else, and so it is nigh impossible to really fully tell how far others are willing to go for you. That's why people grow so much stronger through shared experiences.
And so you have to imagine there's tons of half baked bonds between people that fall apart when it no longer makes sense to hang around one another. We've all had friendships like that, call it a moral grey zone. I think this is why childhood friends tend to be so cherished for many people, you share a unique bond that no one else can have with you. They've seen your infancy, who you were before you learned how to pretend to put on a good show.
They may not be this BLATANTLY ruthless, but they're ruthless nonetheless.
Yup. It's not like Russian women are any different from American ones (AWALT), the biggest difference is that Russian culture doesn't train them to cover their vicious nature as well as the Americans. Anyone who doesn't believe me can talk to a man who has been through a divorce.
Hell, even through a breakup.
Relationships can make a great "team" out of two people as long as the girl is the one that the team will benefit. If not you get hit with the "I dont think a relationship should make me feel this way." Or "Waking up nest to you literally disgusts me." And the bitches can say it like theyre telling you it might rain tomorrow...
Fuck my feelings when I was there for 2 years of you having breast cancer and were ashamed to take off your bra, fuck me in general I guess
I had a girlfriend once who went through some really bad depression for a few months while we were dating and I thought I loved her so I stuck through it.
She ended up getting put on medication and everything was good for awhile. But then I lost my job (that wasn't a factor in her leaving, I never bought her shit) and other things happened and I became quite depressed. Anyway she ended up saying something like "You are depressing me and I want to have fun. I deserve to live my life".
You can be there for a woman in her hardest times, but she wont be there for you in yours. Or at least that's what I've experienced.
And the most bullshit part about it is that they they make you feel bad for them leaving. If she just said I dont love you anymore because youre boring now, it would sting and I get over it. But the months of it being my fault and then dealing with the anger at myself for being dumb enough to let her mind games work. Im wayyy madder at myself than her, im more disappointed in her than mad
Indeed. A man's love is sacrificial, a woman's love is not.
I can't tell you how many couples I've met / interacted with where the woman's like "Yeah, we make a great team!", and then about a minute later you realize what this actually translates to: "He does stuff for me, that's his part, and I let him do stuff for me, that's my part. Thus EVERYBODY wins!!"
And the funny thing is, it actually makes sense, this is how mother nature wants things to be: the man provides, and the woman receives. The masculine puts out, the feminine takes in. Even sex itself is, physically, set up this way. Perhaps then, we just need a word other than "team" to describe the process. If relationships were labeled more in terms of a hierarchy, or a chain of command, far fewer men would be left confused and floundering.
That's not to say that there aren't some couples out there where the woman is pulling her weight, for from it (certainly I know a few). But I have to say, it's becoming an ever rarer thing these days, as modern women become ever more entitled with each passing day ("I want the freedom to fuck whoever I want whenever I want to, as if you and I were exact equals, AND I want you to pay for everything and take care of me, as if I was your submissive dependent, ALL AT THE SAME TIME"...).
Yeah Ill pay for the first date, she pays for the second. No the second date is never nearly as expensive as the first.
Tell some people that and it blows their mind
Yea the difference here is now we live in a time where women can provide for themselves. So that analogy of comparing a company letting you go to a woman's boyfriend/husband being useless doesn't make sense.
So no, I'm not letting women off the hook like that. What that girl did is pure evil and selfish. I'm sorry you went through that. Your story pissed me off because I could not imagine for the life of me being that selfish.
Let me say this again, this woman can provide for herself. Women today can get jobs for themselves. So its not like they have to depend on men, The fact that they can just throw men away like this over the first sign of adversity says something about women today.
Thanks for the story. Another reminder of never getting married. I know if I loved someone or a girl and she was in your position, she would be getting phone calls, pictures, texts, video messages and gifts sent to them at the hospital.
My analogy was meant to reflect the attitude of: you don't go to work because it's fun, or because you love being there etc, you go to work because YOU GET PAID. If your boss told you "Pretty soon we won't be able to pay you anymore, but we'd love it if you kept working here FOR FREE..." you'd start looking for a new job the very same day.
So it is with women and relationships: they are in a relationship with you because they receive a BENEFIT from their association with you (much as your paycheck is a benefit of you going to and doing your job).
Maybe the benefit she receives is that you're ridiculously good looking, and she can show you off to all her girlfriends and make them jealous.
Maybe you're quite wealthy, and you can shower her with gifts (though this, increasingly, is more a path to the friendzone than any kind of sexual relationship, as women these days will peg you as a beta provider. You're correct in asserting that women have their own money now, and thus don't need men to seduce them with dollars... In fact it's often a turn off).
Maybe you're hilariously entertaining and she just loves being around you, because you're so funny.
The benefits come in a wide variety for sure but make no mistake, there IS a benefit there, or the relationship would not be taking place. And as soon as the benefit stops, the relationship stops.
Imagine a girl is dating a guy: they have nothing in common, they don't really like each other, nothing to say, but he's in a semi-famous band. So she brings him around, shows him off to all her friends, repeats over and over "I'm dating a MUSICIAN. He's in a BAND X. Soooooo hot..." etc. Then one day the guy is like "Yeah, I left the band. Well I got fired, actually. They found a new bass player. But whatever, it's cool. I'm over music anyway. I need to get a real job. I'm gonna go to school and learn to be an accountant."
And that's it, no more music, the guy's done.
Now tell me: how much longer do you think that relationship will last?
Answer: it's already over. She's not gonna stick with the guy while he starts his new life as an accountant. The girl's already looking for a replacement musician.
Once you really grasp and internalize this concept, "Us men, we're just 'JOBS' to women", you'll see the sexual marketplace in a whole new light.
Makes sense when you put it that way lol. Yea messed up world we living. Again, I hope people read what you wrote and understand that this is why you should never trust them
Hey thanks for that story. And the point about briffault's law at he end really cast some light on what happened with my college girlfriend.
You guys are all awesome.
A lot of us 40somethings with kids found that out collectively during the recession. About two months before I discovered TRP I was reading about the 'Craigslist Murders' (google it) and found out that there was thousands of us in the same exact position.... married, worked, monogamous BP providers who were dumped unceremoniously when we were laid off or lost our jobs.
For real.... think about this... that whole 'Cougar' thing was about 2007-2008.... My Ex was one of those 'cougars'... Notice how that meme/idea died out? Young good looking dudes only fuck 40+ year olds when they're waaaay drunk...they wake up and see that cottage cheese beginning and cry "My GOD ...what have I done?"
In spite of Hollywoods attempt to prop up that stereotype, she's still somebody else's dried up ex...and gravity is a bitch.
I was hospitalized 3 times in my twenty year marriage... wife came to visit...NEVER. Briffaults Law
pax
Sounds like you're getting emotional from "seeing the way reality truly is." Your turning red pill philosophy into women-shaming and it's not really gonna help your situation. Also she was Russian and was attempting to extract a very obvious benefit from you. Are you really that surprised? You can try and apply your negative judgment to all women but it won't put you any closer to truth. Thinking all women are like that is your attempt to simplify the world around you but its simply not true. People come in a billion different colors, with varying shades of love, commitment, and worthiness.
I agree with you for the most part that the woman was obviously trying to use him (except for the "women-shaming part. lol. i don't imagine you are a TRP regular using sjw language like that), but I think your opinion is simplistic as well. Your last sentence is nice and idealistic, but not completely true.
Men and women are different and often times view relationships differently. I'm not saying that is a bad thing, it just is. Men and women have many inherent biological differences and imperatives. That is bound to affect how they approach relationships and life in general.
If the egalitarian dream is true, and we are all just individual human beings who are all the same except for things like skin color and genitals, I would think the divorce rates would be equal among men and women. But they aren't. Women initiate far more divorces than men do. If we are all just individuals with varying shades of love and commitment, then why is that? It should be 50/50, or very close.
You know, I used to think like you did. Almost my entire life, in fact. Such a hopeless romantic. ("When she's down, I'll support her! And when I'm down, she'll support me!! Because we're in love, and that's how love works!! A truly equal partnership!!") And you know what it got me? The woman in the story above. Not just once. But EVERY. SINGLE TIME.
Then I swallowed The Red Pill. I opened my eyes and saw intergender dynamics for what they ARE. And you know what? Strangely, that terrible woman in my story? The one I kept getting into relationships with over and over again? (Not the SAME girl, mind you, but the same TYPE of girl? And the same type of relationship?) Yeah, that's not in my life anymore. And never will be again.
Funny. How 'bout that. It's almost like ALL WOMEN ARE EXACTLY THE SAME... (If only we had a word, or some kind of shorthand, to use around here to describe exactly this phenomenon. Hmm...)
(Also: you must be new here. Welcome. The sidebar is over to your right. Please read before commenting.)
Can't leave us hanging on the screenplay.
Never got produced, alas. Thought we had some money coming in for it (we were looking at $5M), was gonna be my directorial debut, but then the financial crash happened and my rich friends weren't so rich anymore.
I may still do it at some point (these days I'd do it for under a mill), but it really would be a vanity project. Low budget indie drama, character ensemble piece (a la Bergman etc), not exactly Hollywood's cup of tea at the moment.
It's definitely very revealing though, isn't it, when your friend tells you "You have 5 minutes to live." Man, you really get to know what your priorities are, in a situation like that. Looking back, I guess it's pretty funny (and very telling) that my only response was "MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MY SCRIPT AND GET IT TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE!!", and that was pretty much it (aside from calling my non-responsive fiancee of course). Might be an interesting experiment, to hit more people with this kind of situation (hypothetically of course) and see how they respond. What happens to all the art you made? The things you wrote? The photos you took? Who gets the phone calls? With only 5 minutes total, how long do you talk to each person?
Something to think about. We all imagine we're gonna live forever. Nobody ever really thinks: "What's gonna happen to that finished-but-never-published novel sitting on my hard drive, if I'm hit by a car tomorrow?"
I could tell you're a writer just by the way you put the comma after the parentheses (like this), and that you use a ton of parentheses haha. Your story was actually very eye-opening -- especially the 5 minutes to live scenario. I thought about what I would do in that moment and it showed me what's important to me.
Best of luck on the screenplay!
Yeah the 5 minute thing probably deserves its own post. Especially now, in the digital age, when all of our valuable work etc is sitting in a hard drive on our desk, I feel too many good things are being lost when people die without being properly prepared.
Back in the day, if something happened to you, friends and relatives would go through your desk or what not and find the notes to the manuscript you were working on, half finished paintings, letters to loved ones, all the rest of it. Now they just find a laptop with, likely, a password lockout that no one knows (and thus everything on it is lost forever).
People really need to think about this: the fact that you will probably die much earlier than you think, it will almost certainly come as a complete surprise when it happens, and when you do--what will happen to your digital life?
You were pretty BP by the sounds of it. It doesn't surprise me she didn't give a shit about you dying. BP men are expendable assets to women. As soon as you've lost your purpose/use to her, you are gone.
RP men tend to get better treatment from their plates/LTR's.
Oh I was the king of BP, no doubt about it. I was the guy who, when I found out my best friend was fucking my girlfriend, I'd be like "Hah hah, gosh, you two! Wow! You really got me! Hah hah hah..." Seriously, I couldn't have been more of a doormat.
You know how they have the Darwin awards? I've often thought they should have the BP awards as well, just so we can all (once a year) take a step back, laugh at ourselves, and, at the same time, see how far we've come.
But yeah, the funny thing is: you know, I don't blame her at all for the way she acted. I really don't. At the time I was devastated, sure, and even now, I do still feel some emotion come up when I review my memories of what happened, but looking back at it all now through an RP lens, it's like, Well OF COURSE she didn't care... I was just an expendable asset to her. I was her ticket to a green card. There was no emotional investment there. I was the solution to her problem, and as soon as I was taken "off the table" she was like, OK, we gotta find a new solution here. That's it. I totally get it.
To be honest I actually included her as part of my 12 step amends process about 2 years back. Bumped into her totally randomly out here in LA (talk about a crazy coincidence, all these years later), and then I reached out and said "Look, I get it now, I TOTALLY get it, and I want you to know I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger for you, back then, that I wasn't more of a man for you", etc etc. I basically apologized (as best I could) for being a BP pushover, not knowing what was up, the whole deal. Of course she just kind of shrugged it off and didn't really care (the amends was more for me, to clean up the narrative on my end), but yeah, damn, remembering all that, it's like Wow, I CANNOT BELIEVE that I used to be so ignorant, so blind...
So yeah, thank God for TRP. This place really is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
This is one of the deepest, darkest truths about human relationships I've ever read.
Broad-sweeping generalizations are never truthful.
except for the 99% of the time that they are
I guess we have to chuck out as untruthful philosophy and large chunks of history's better lessons for us.
Broad sweeping generalizations are almost always true....in a broad way...a general sweeping kind of way.
FWIW, this is one of the most well written posts Ive ever seen here.
This is one of the most beautiful posts I have read on Reddit. Thanks for sharing.
Ok but on the other foot my mum sat at my dads bed side for months and months while he was dying of cancer. So there's that too.
Thats a generational difference, when women were expected to not be sluts.
I do think what that chick did is a low even by AWALT standards.
My point is your parents probably went through that in a time where a woman getting a divorce was social humiliation, whereas now #YouGoGirl
That's a difference in character, stop trying to fit the world to your model.
I dont follow your comment and am not sure you understood mine
Everyone has seen some women like you mother, but there is a great difference.
You mother was in a very different stage of life, they are married, you father illness was after your birth and probably near or after she hits the wall.
No one can tell how you mother will act if you father illness appended before marriage. That's sad but true.
Somewhat same. My grandmother was tending to my grandfather until the last day and when he died she was destroyed.
Awesome comment man. I have to add, that men's relationships between each other are based on very different things than men's and women's sexual relationships. Things like honour, respect, "till the end" attitude tend to be present in male relationships but absent in male and female relationships. So, of course, your relationship with your brother was very different than his with his girlfriend.
I think this is down to genetic survival. Basically, a young woman needs to be with someone that can reproduce, for the good of the species. As a young man needs to be with a young woman. It works both ways. I have heard stories of a similar situation as yours but reversed genders. The young man left the young woman.
It's important to always remember the cold hard truths underlying the emotions. Relationships are based on utility - for each other firstly, and for the species secondly - and feelings are just genetic adaptions to make sexual relationships work. I think women just get turned off towards men who will die if they are in their prime. It's not personal, it's necessary.
That was depressing as shit.
I'm sorry for your loss. I appreciate that you chose to share this story with others.
I will build on this with a quote from a very controversial writing that may help pass on this perspective to those reading along:
"Reject the parable of 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'
Do only unto others AS THEY WOULD DO unto you, and no more." - Anton LaVey
This is a reminder to keep the warmth and love alive in our hearts, but to award it only to those who have proven that they deserve it.
"Magnanimity, not carte blanche kindness." (sic) - IllimitableMan
I am certain that many men will benefit from the lessons your big brother passed on.
Edited for clarity.
Thanks for being bold and sharing what many might feel is taboo. It's validating to me, because I often have felt this deep down. Why give people the very best of how I wish to be treated and have them mistreat me still? Don't treat people superbly because you wish to receive the same from them. Treat them how they deserve to be treated and with what you are currently willing to give without any strings attached. If you want to love 100%, only do it because you at that moment want to be that--not because you are supposed to or are hoping the person will give the same back.
tl;dr: Yeah. Treat others how they deserve to be treated, and only give as much as you're comfortable giving.
That sucks. For every guy like that there's a poor woman like him with cancer getting screwed over by an asshole dude who's cheating. Assholes aren't gendered. Remember John Kerry's running mate John Edwards, he got a woman pregnant while his wife had cancer. People can be pricks. It's about luck, vetting, and then you have to sometimes trust. There's no way around it.
Yeah, and I am betting John Edwards' wife had not had sex with her husband with a smile on her RBF for 10 years prior to Edwards knocking that other woman up.
When I see some middle-age battle-ax woman hollering about her cheating husband, the first thing I tend to think is, "When is the last time you fucked him with a sincere, warm interest in sex with him?"
Because the answer is almost always, "a long, long time ago." Then the woman have the audacity to be upset when the man gets sex elsewhere.
This comment is better than 95% of the sub posts.
Holy shit. Well worth the read. If I may, allow me to do a short Tl;Dr. Not out of spite or sarcasm just to spur interest in this solid post, seriously.
Tl;Dr: Op had a friend like a brother who was dying of cancer and learned the true nature of women through this when she cheated on OP'S friend 2 weeks into him going to the hospital for treatment... what a sad and provoking story.
Downvoted. If people don't want to read that masterpiece whole then they don't deserve summary.
But if you don't marry you will die alone.
Lol what a crock. Assuming you are one of the 20 percent (whatever it will be in 50 years) that doesn't divorce your woman will be stuck in an alzheimers home while you slowly die at home or vice versa.
We all die alone.
Your 5 kids, beautiful wife, and 12 grandkids and dog may be by a your side with candles and prayer but make no mistake:
You go out alone so have no regrets lingering
I really enjoyed reading this story. Very deep and impactful on your life I'm sure. Allow me to impart some wisdom that I learned from a mentor of mine.
Her behavior is not unique. Her behavior is not surprising. If you get really sick with cancer or other severe illnesses, your girl will leave you. Why? Simple. She is with you because you have value to her. Social, financial, physical, emotional, whatever it is. That's why she is with you. She is benefiting from being with you. Once you're in the hospital with cancer, the tables turn. Now she is the 1 with value and you need her help and at the very least, emotional support. She has now not only lost her source of value (you), but also is being forced to become a source of value. Of course she is going to leave you!
It's nothing personal. It's just nature. Be aware of this. But don't let it dissuade you from pursuing women. Just understand what will happen if you lose your job or become severely ill.
That bitch was not a real Christian.
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/No_True_Scotsman
This is not an instance of the Scotsman fallacy.
Why do you think so?
watcher45 implies Christians wouldn't act as deplorable as TheLaughingRhino's "big brother" friend's girlfriend did. She did and considers herself a Christian; watcher45 therefore considers her to not be a "real" Christian.
In my opinion, this matches the criteria for NTS just fine.
The entire point of theism in general is to provide an objective moral framework for the peasants, and claiming to belong to any such religion without even trying to act in accordance with its moral standards is laughable.
E.g. If you have decided to act in accordance with christianity OR just having accepted god you do not under any circumstance commit adultery. Another severe inconsistency is how she refused the have pre-marital sex with her boyfriend while she was out getting fucked. No version of christianity condones this.
You can't change your identity by merely claiming to be something you're not. Actions > Words.
She was giving herself a moral license. Otherwise, evangelicals shack up like everyone else.
Exactly, she was using religion as an excuse to hamster her cruel behavior.
That's real man. Your brother sounded like a good dude, may he rest in peace.
Can't emphasise the importance of finding the good people among the hordes of shitty ones. There's a lot of shitty people out there, particularly at college age. From then on, people either mature and turn into good people or else they learn how to hide it better. The cynic in me tells me it's the latter.
Insecurity, jealousy and nastiness are rampant in your late teens, particularly in girls. That's just been my experience.
This is worthy of a main post.
Thanks. You absolutely broke me inside.
I'm glad you put in the "I don't want to hear he is blue pill loser". Absolutely.people on this sub are busy being beta jumping through hoops to act all alpha to retain their girls attentions.its pathetic as fuck. Women give fuck all in return for all our love and investment
This is a good story. Of course I won't judge a sick dying man, ever. But this comment got me so blue pilled up, I might menstruate, binge eat chocolate and cry for a day because of it. Better hit the gym & lift, don't you think?
deleted What is this?
Completely fucked up, but unfortunately when I read this it meshes with other stories I've read.
If this happened to me I would find the bitch myself and give her some justice treatment that would inspire poetry.
LOVE= man>woman>children>puppies and dog>man
At the risk of sounding like an ass, her reaction to his cancer is not uncommon. It sucks, it's horrible and she dealt with it in the worse way possible, but a loved one with cancer is a very, very hard situation to deal with. My ex has had to deal with recurrent cancer for sometime now. Her last surgery was too much of an emotional blow to our relationship as she couldn't handle the fact that her body kept destroying itself time and again. I stayed in the relationship longer than most would, got us counseling, supported her through her surgeries but in the end, I had to leave to because it can be a lot to handle. This woman may have left because of a loss of utility or she may not have been able to handle the emotional toll.
I've asked myself the same thing. "What would she do if I was dying"? A perk about me always being ill due to stress is that I get to see how the person I'm with at the time reacts. Some cheat on me for being weak and hospitalized, others do nothing to support me and do quite the opposite. AWALT. Good read.
Yeah, I'd heard somewhere that when Humphrey Bogart was dying, his wife, Lauren Bacall, was out fucking Frank Sinatra.
I truly hope that bitch will get the worst karma out there. I would fucking laugh if she would get anal raped and tortured to death. Fuck her, WHORES like that make my blood boil. I feel sorry for your friend, may he rest in peace. Poor guy.
I don't mean to interrupt the circlejerk, but what does she really get by staying and putting herself through that? I think she could have been much more gracious, but would any of you do that for a woman? Someone who you literally cannot have a future or even a present with? What would she get by getting more invested in something that will just cause her more heartbreak? Of course the Christian thing is a crappy excuse. I don't see this as some condemnation of women, just of human nature in general.
This is a deeply mystical question actually. If a person believes in the experience of life and seeks growth and breadth of experience, an event like a dying lover can unlock parts within yourself that you would have never imagined and wouldn't have thought possible otherwise. And if one stays committed to doing what is most right in those hard times rather than giving in to biological imperatives, fear and all sorts of cowardices, the person who bears with the sick lover for some time will find their inner world transcending to heights not experienced prior or thought possible. Hardships in life are meant to grow is into the strongest and most beautiful people that we are capable of becoming. For the selfish coward who doesn't understand the purpose of being alive, they run. For the courageous, they feel deeply and grow into a higher self.
It's not about what you're getting from someone that determines whether you call them on their deathbed. One of this guy's last dying wishes was to have her call him and she couldn't be fucking bothered because it might be awkward or she was too busy deepthroating some Russian cock. Because awkwardness and cock are more important than a humans last dying wish and empathy. Don't try and justify her bullshit.
It's not like they met a few weeks ago. This bitch pitched marriage to the guy and all of a sudden, she doesn't give a fuck when he can't provide it for at least a year because he's fucking dying.
it's quite true.. you'd all be very surprised at how much and how easy it is for a girl to get a dicking.
Just the other day I watched my friend who is a guy, and my friend who is a very average looking girl sit on plenty of fish for about two hours. We were joking around writing opening messages to girls on my guy friends phone, and reading openers guys send the girl. She, a very run of the mill, slightly overweight girl, got 79 messages in less than two hours.
Yup a girl I know who was a single mom (baby in her tinder pics) showed me while she swiped on tinder on day.
She swiped right on every guy and she easily had over 50+ matches or something insane. It was before they had that swipe limit added to it. She was a 6 at best and somewhat overweight. She was fuckable, but damn nearly every guy she swiped right on she matched with.
And she got messages instantly. Her phone died like 10mins because she kept getting notifications from Tinder.
Chubby single moms tend to be the pickiest women for some reason. The sad part is that white knights get pulled into their frame every time.
That's because women have been cuckolding men for hundreds of thousands of years at this point. It is bred into some of us at this point. Raising another man's child "did" help pass along human genetics to the next generation. So if there was a group of men willing to help raise another man's baby. Well, the entire group benefitted. Let's say it's a recessive genetic trait. 25% of men exhibit the behavior. That's more then enough to keep showing up in the population.
24.99.. I will never, ever date another woman with a kid.
Most guys sweep right on all girls without even looking at the photo. If you match with an ugly girl you just unmatch. Of course she will match with all men. Even without a profile picture she will.
Swiping right is one thing. Getting messages from all these guys are another. That was my point unless you miss read what I said. These guys were thirsty enough to message her and she was low quality.
So it wasn't like her and girls like her are getting unmatched.
That's the very reason why you should only do tinder if you have looks/photos that stand out to catch her attention. Because unless you do, your profile and first message will be drowned in dozens of other average profiles and first messages.
Which is statistically amazing you get laid at all.
My friend from HS (probably a 5, nothing special but she was cute and not overweight) would swipe and get hundreds of matches.
She's 18. She was getting 26 year old dudes with ripped abs messaging her asking her out.
She's pregnant now at 20.
goddamn to get that much sex. must be the life.
To be fair, when I used POF I would always match with every chick within a 50 mile radius. Wouldn't look on there profile or anything. Just watched tv and kept swiping/hitting button to match like 400 times. The reason behind that was to wait and see what girls would match back up with me after they seen me match up with them then usually I would pick the ones who matched me that were fuckable and went from there.
I've talked to a lot of guys who do that as well so it could be a factor why their phone blows up so fast.
Dude.....girls literally don't understand why guys learn game because its just that easy for them to get laid. They can't conceive that its actually kind of hard to get chicks to fuck you (if your a scrub).
Women solipsism.They don't get that they have to do nothing to be approached and they don't understand what have to do a man because they just don't have to do it. And they don't know (and even if,they don't care) what kind of loneliness and feelings of rejection a man face. And if you try to explain it to them,they don't get it because I think they don't have the ability to do it.
This goes the same for violence and deescalting potential fights. I've had many discussions with exs about the different social responsibilities. According to them, drunk guys getting threatening rarely happens and I was over exaggerating, especially about fighting over women.
They never had to deal with it so it doesn't exist.
Psh surprised? All a girl has to dob is log onto any social media and BOOM 300 random (not necessarily in her state) dudes are desperately trying for nudes let alone to actually fuck... Very few females cab be trusted... My boy taught me some wise words... "Every woman but my mother is potentially just a whore... And for some even their mother is a whore"
I doubt most people would be surprised.
Yeah, how could anyone be surprised at this point that pretty much any woman get can a dude to enthusiastically fuck at the snap of her fingers. Women hold all the sexual power.
Must be nice to be someone like Bieber, who can take some of that power away. A man has to be at Bieber level to have the same sexual power as a 22 year old hb7.
even veterans get surprised... its nuts man.
no one who's swallowed trp would be surprised at all. That's the entire nature of the sexual marketplace. Women are the gatekeepers of sexual contact.
This is a good idea, I disagree with the implementation. Why would I think about a girl getting fucked? I'd rather think about who do I want to plow myself today instead.
Few weeks ago I was running into an oneitis. I started every single day thinking what would I do if the girl calls me and lets me know we're done (shit, we know girls don't work like that, but that was just my fantasy). After a few days I realised she's nothing special and I don't really need her any more. After a few days more I started banging another woman. And another. And another.
They aren't special at all.
And if they don't call you back, that's because they're probably getting fucked. But that should be none of my concerns.
But you not wanting to think about it is exactly why it works. Depending on how bluepilled you are it will send shivers down your spine and you'll immediately stop wondering about all the stupid relationship shit and going over the things you said to her in your head.
Of course this wont work if the reason you are ruminating over her is directly because she is fucking other guys.
The setting is you're with your bro, and you're annoying him by fawning over some girl so he says "yeah . . . she's probably out getting fucked" and you're like "holy shit fuck yeah" then you snap out of it and focus on your video games or whatever the fuck you were doing haha.
Your idea of saying "they're probably getting fucked" is similar to the idea of negative visualization. Expect and visualize the worst, so that if it happens, its power to affect you is weakened.
Oh thats exactly what it is for, thank you
Like seriously this saved us SO many nights of lonely blue balls
Good comment. Assuming she's probably out getting fucked still keeps her as your oneitis to some degree, because your focus is on her, and not yourself.
Are you the same sandman that does the MGTOW videos haha
Nah, the only fedora I own is in storage.
shorty wanna kiss me, but i know she suckin dick
Using this combined with Patrice O'neal's two girls one cup mantra would do wonders for a blue pill mans mindset
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPcVFZmg7uI
skip to 14:06
I'll settle down when I find myself a girl who loves me as much as I love myself.
My love for myself is irrational. It's like dividing by zero. I'll always love me enough for the both of us. She'll never be mine, it'll just be her turn.
I've vowed to myself to never stop growing, to never stagnate again. And honestly, every single day, to maintain my momentum and keep heading towards my goals I have to take immediate, massive action. So I do.
Girls look for stability, and on paper, I'm not what they're looking for. But fuck me if I haven't already Alpha Widowed several hotties in my area.
I'm not sure if my thirst for power and domination comes from mating instinct/sexual strategy or if it results from compensating for the powerlessness I felt in the abusive relationship with my narcissistic father, but I am who I am, and I'm fucking proud to be me.
My therapist has told me many of my insights will only be understandable by me-- that I will not always be able to articulate my thoughts exactly to convey or share them with others. But that's okay.
They always said, "The Bullies are always the most insecure" but the older I get, the less true that seems. My lust for power and showing it absolutely has pushed people out of my life, but the five dudes I keep around as good friends all call me out on my bullshit. And honestly, I think that's what I'm looking for, and what I value them for. My mother and older sister shit test me harder than any girls my age or under ever have.
If you, as a Red Pill male, still do not view yourself as the prize, and are falling victim to Oneitis, become more Machiavellian in your actions, and more narcissistic in your thoughts. Cultivate passions and thrive, don't live. One of my favorite adages is, "Build it, and they will come." Until you live in the flow, learn to recognize and pass shit tests, and graduate to turning down sure sex because a chick fails a shit test of your own creation, you are still a boy, not yet a man.
I know I am not yet a man, but I also know that I will I never stop growing. Such is my choice. The greatest blessing I ever was given in life was the luxury to choose.
"She's not mine, it's just her turn"
Absolute GOLD mate
Probably the oldest, most overused phrase on TRP. Are you new?
The overused phrase you refer to goes as "She's not mine, it's just my turn". Phrase from OP puts the emphasis on me, not her.
Should be, "I'm not hers, it's just her turn."
Yeah, I tried that for years. It doesn't work.
See, girls have this thing about "commitment phobia." But it's not so much that they really care that Men won't commit. It's that they just want to be sluts.
Tell a girl that she can't have something and she will do everything she can to prove You wrong. Basically, by thinking "I'm not hers," You're effectively challenging her to try to lock You down, and that's something that You do not want. Also, "I'm not hers" puts You on the defensive.
"She's not mine" is important to keep in mind because Men instinctively want to try to lock down pretty girls. We have no control over it. We want to own the hottest girls we can get. You would think this would be an offensive stance to contrast the other one but it's not. It simply eliminates possessiveness, which is what drives girls away.
"She's not mine" allows her to be a slut and You to be cool with it. There's nothing to say that You can't still maintain an "I am the prize" mentality. In fact, the two thoughts couple together and leads to the realization that You do not need her.
Or just don't settle down. Women are disqualifying machines. The one who you think "loves you as much as you love yourself" is just putting on a show until you fail at the slightest thing and she gets the opportunity to disqualify you.
"I love you" is code word for "I want you to love me, so I can feel 'naughty' when I go fuck someone else" and nothing more.
I just explained to my 15 year old son that women "love" men like men "love" the latest iPhone, Retina MacBook Pro, Callaway Hot-2 3-wood, or Porsche 911 Turbo. We don't really love those things in and of themselves as much as we enjoy what those things can do for us - and as soon as the next better one comes out, your "love" turns to mild like and eventually indifference.
Damn lol I'll keep this in mind, too true.
Do you know what a shit test is? Why women created them? Why would a man need a shit test to test the genes of a women when he does it with his eyes?
They are useful to figure out what kind of person someone is. If you will take anything I guess it does not matter that much
Men don't shit test women. We just use our eyes to see if we want to have sex or not. A shit test doesn't fit in with male biology.
Because high value men are choosy and making her prove herself worthy of you sends important subtext. For example, if you sincerely say to a woman "beauty is common. what do you have going for yourself beyond just your looks?" Then it signals that you have the luxury to be ultra choosy and it also signals that you aren't a cad that is looking to pump and dump her because as you correctly point out if you are looking to pump and dump then looks really are all that matter. Most women want to mate with an alpha provider and if you cast a net that filters out non one night stand sluts then the only thing you will catch are sluts pursuing a strictly short term mating strategy. I will also add that if are actually pursuing a long-term strategy yourself then a lot more than just looks do come in to play and you should test for the presence and absence of certain qualities ..... is she crazy or unstable, is she inteligent, is she interesting, can she cook, is she athletic, does she earn her own money, is she impulsive, dependable....etc.
A long term strategy is against everything TRP is about and completely contradictory to abuance theory, spinning plates, dread game, ect. If you're running a long term strategy you're doing it wrong.
Gold.
And NEVER forget : the first disqualify : she nexted.
Abundance mentality. She is either a resource or a burden. Next her if not willing to be a resource to you.
Something just clicked in me. I do the constant growing myself but the best part is I am in a constant state of "congratulations" whenever people interact with me because I've always made some worthwhile accomplishment.
yeah, it also helps to really visulalize what she's likely doing for other guys lol. Like when you get oneitis, imagine her getting jizzed on, her licking his asshole, all sorts of shit. While some of it might not be happening (personal preferences vary), a good deal of it most definitely is. Seriously, visualize it as graphically as possible, it'll help you de pedestalize her a bit
Hard to pretend a girl is some unicorn when you are visualizing her going ass to mouth lol
TRP in a nutshell: Be the guy she's fucking, NOT the guy that's thinking about her.
Meh, I tend to go the other way with it. Imagining a girl slutting it up just makes me wish she was slutting it up with me. I prefer imagining her doing what she's more likely to be doing, seeking validation through the social medium of her choice while basking in the glow of her Netflix subscription. Then I proceed to think she ain't shit while I continue working on myself.
I just meant for the guys out there that over glorify/pedestalize girls into these unicorns. Obviously the idea is to become the guy doing that to the chicks, but it's not gonna happen if you're treating them like some kind of special creature. I think the point went over your head a bit
I get what you're saying, for the type of guys pedestalizing girls, pedestalizing them in the other direction is a logical next step. But objectifying them like that still puts them on a pedestal and, like someone else said, it's a little cucky. Acknowledging how boring she most likely is while staying true to your own personal development seems the more productive choice, to me.
Well being a "little cucky" is better than having total oneitis. Acknowledging how boring a girl is, is pretty impossible when you have strong oneitis. Imagining her fucked some hot guy whos not you however, and being forced to, off guard, by your friend, does give that shock needed to knock out the beta hamstering.
Your friend has to do it to you or vice versa, and you have to have fun afterwards. I'm not advocating sitting around thinking about the love of your life boning random guys Hahhaahaha
It goes like this: "Oh Annie is so beautiful and kind I really want to be with her."
"Yeah. . . she's probably out getting fucked."
"OH GOD! What the fuck."
"Wanna play basketball?"
"Fuck yes."
Ahhh, that's the disparity. Still in the process of building my social circle so any time that I'm not spending at work, at the gym, or with my son is time spent alone.
Not if it's deconstructing the pedestal via your sheer disgust with the repeated low-level admission of what's likely actually happening.
It works. I've used the technique before and it has really helped me to maintain the right perspective and extract myself from becoming enthralled (literally) by the beauty of a woman's soul while fully ignoring the fact that her physical vessel is not at all aligned with that soul. Ultimately it also helps me to recognize that women who are that misaligned with their spiritual selves are damaging and disrespecting their own souls and that's both just unattractive and to be avoided.
This is exactly what I do now. I used to talk to this girl who I thought I really liked. It was the sex. She was a fucking pro. I knew she was doing that shit with other dudes even though she told me she wasn't. It took me a while to completely drop her. I stopped thinking about her in a sexual way. All she does is smoke weed, snapchat, and Netflix. She ain't shit. If you ain't fucking me you ain't getting attention from me. It used to piss me off how these girls can still get it no matter how vain they are. Now I just laugh at how fucking basic these bitches are.
The weird thing is whenever I do this it makes me hate them more than anything else. like they're not even worth my time, but idk. Maybe it's something along the lines of "we hate things we can't have"
Good point. Seems like a toxic thought process for guys in the anger phase.
This hits home quite a bit. I've been single for a while, seeing random chicks and not committing to any of them, recently I met a chick that stood out, hot, intelligent, etc. I brought her on a trip where some friends and I rented a place, and we went out that night, I was busy gambling and she left with some of my friends to go to a club. After a while of gambling I head to the club and the chick I brought with us is all over some random dude and my other friends are no where to be seen. I ask her "what the fuck?", and she plays it off and goes outside for a bit with the guy. My friends show up, and my man card is gone. "Sorry bro, that's fucked, as soon as we got here she stopped hanging out with us and has been with this random guy from her past." We were leaving and the chick followed us out, "I'm so sorry.. I don't know what I was thinking.. blah blah blah". I fucked her a couple more times that weekend, but it made me put her back in her box. AWALT!
Can I ask how you managed to fuck her after that? I just can't,it's like if a chick does something disrespectful I almost feel like I instantly lose attraction. How do you guys get it up for these disrespectful hoes?
You know, I ignored her for a while after that shit, that shit fucking hurt. But she was persistent with trying to make up with me the rest of the time we were there even though I told her to fuck off. I guess when I comes down to it, pussy is pussy, and having fallen off the faux pedestal I had put her on, I didn't care about going as deep as possible and slapping that ass until it was red, felt good man.
If she came with me and my friends on a trip and did that she would be finding another way home. She was probably outside with that dude getting smashed out or even giving him oral and then you took her back and smashed.
I don't think there was any possibility of that based on the location. But isn't that the point of the post?, "She's probably getting fucked!" Now that I've been away from her for a few days, that's likely the case. It was an eye opening experience for me to deal with this retarded bullshit, seriously the most disrespect I've dealt with in the few years I've been single and exposed to the red pill, I was angry for a long time thinking about my prior relationships where I can look back on them and see where I fucked up, or didn't understand the true nature of women. I thought I was finally at a place where I could be myself and this harsh reality smashes me in the face. The point of me posting this field report is no matter how you feel about a woman, she's still a woman, and AWALT!
Touché, that was indeed the point of the post lol
I would have done the same thing.
any self respecting man wouldn't, fuck that. Aint no fuck/girl worth losing my dignity.
This struck me as particularly funny. In my younger years (early 20s), whenever me or my best friend were "dating" someone and it was inquired where they were, we would universally respond with - "I don't know. Probably out getting fucked."
It's always true. If you're on the one fucking her, or she isn't directing her attention towards you so that you do fuck her, someone else is.
It's actually really disgusting when you think about it. She's permanently assimilating someone else's DNA (it's called micro-chimerism, yes it's documented), she is permanently lowering her value, and permanently lowering her ability to pair-bond.
All Onitus is based on delusion, and a lack of information you have about her.
This is not at all documented to occur through human sexual contact.
It happens when they are pregnant. So basically your cells are part of your mother. People do not integrate the DNA of people they have sex with. lol
There is definitely an immune and neurochemical response to unprotected sex in women that doesn't occur with protected sex.
It's gross for sure to be a whore.
that right there is the most important part. the less info you have on her, the more you yourself hamster in your head "what could be" or "what is". you are creating a false reality for yourself about this person and thus propelling yourself further into the rabbit hole of this false identity you had just assigned her. then, when you find out that she's the complete opposite of what you had made up in your head, you feel "betrayed" and think "how could she do this to me". kek. don't be a hamster.
I think you might be retarded. That's not how any of it works.
It's disgusting yes. But only because of your (and my) social conditioning. Maybe it even increases her physical value by increasing the strength of her immune system. Or it decreases her physical value because of the higher likelihood of autoimmune diseases.
However, a high n-count is obviously lowering her ability to pair-bond (according to some studies) and thus decreases her non-physical value. I wouldn't mix these two.
IMO this is childish MGTOW behavior to connect the dots like that. Let's just accept male/female nature and biology as it is and not demonize it.
Doesn't.
Someone else's DNA permanently in her brain is disgusting.
Value as a future wife / mother / person over all.
The dots are there. Pretending they aren't there doesn't make them not there.
Micro-chimerism is real, accept it.
You don't know.
You probably have your mother's DNA in your brain. 'Disgusting' is a matter of definition.
I never claimed something else. The implications you draw are just not necessarily true. We just don't know.
No, you don't, the research is out there.
Not a low-value stranger.
They are.
"we" do, just not you, yet
So you trust in research?
Microchimerism seems to protect from breast and colon cancer
Microchimerism seems to protect from some autoimmune diseases
To be honest I don't trust in research at all as I am a researcher/scientist and know that most studies show exactly what the scientists want to show and what earns the most money for future research. Never trust a scientist. The system is corrupt.
Are we snowflaking our own mom? Didn't she fuck your football coach? Didn't she fuck your neighbor? Isn't she currently out there being fucked? Your mom is exactly the same bitch as everybody else. AWALT.
You take everything that some bro tells you as single and only truth although you have no proof for it. IMO this is BP thinking you are just on the other side of the spectrum of a feminist mangina. A part of the spectrum that I personally prefer but still it is not reasonable to limit your thinking like that.
Pretending the dots are there doesn't actually make them there.
Holy Fuck
That's right, every time a woman swallows a stranger's cum, she's diluting the value you can place on creating any future offspring with her.
This is why men NATURALLY and INSTINCTIVELY find promiscuous women DISGUSTING.
This is why non-virgins literally are impure.
Oh god. Our education system has failed you. I am so, so sorry. I'll try to explain this as simply as I possibly can, but let me know if I'm being too confusing or using too big of words for you, as I know being a scientist can make me sound a tad bombastic. First of all, even just basic deductive reasoning skills should lead one to the conclusion that that if swallowing DNA led to chimerism, all of us would be incorporating plant or animal DNA as part of our own almost every time we ate (which would take "you are what you eat" to quite a literal level worthy of a horror movie). In reality, DNA is made out of nitrogenous bases, sugar, and phosphate. Our body uses these for metabolic pathways such as the pentose phosphate pathway, and will very quickly degrade it with the hydrochloric acid that's in our stomachs.
Women are born with all of their eggs they'll ever have. These eggs are already in the diplotene stage of prophase I. They don't ever create any more eggs past month 6 as a fetus, and will have about 200 thousand left at the time of puberty. Every single egg has haploid DNA, and any random addition of DNA pre-implantation due to means other than non-disjunction would lead to an inevitable spontaneous abortion. A man's DNA is protected in semen for a reason: because the vagina is a caustic environment for them. Each sperm is supposed to undergo capacitation by the time it reaches the ampulla and has special enzymes to pass the three protective barriers surrounding the egg. Only these enzymes in a properly capacitated sperm can help DNA pass the zona pellucida and lead to the zinc reaction and the first mitotic division. It is impossible otherwise, unless you can describe to me exactly how unprotected DNA could somehow get into the ovary and magically pass both the follicle and egg barriers and incorporate itself into the genome using your extensive knowledge concerning epigenetics and cellular adhesion molecules/integrins.
When an embryo implants, its primary concern is getting nutrients, but it has to protect itself from the mother's immune system in order to do so, especially during the lacunar stage. The main hypotheses are that chimerism is due to either immune protection we don't quite understand yet, or spontaneous abortion. There is not a single paper out there that shows any statistically-significant results with a high p value supporting chimerism due to sexual intercourse, no matter how much you wish that was the case.
So any ladies who are reading this: enjoy sex (but still make sure you use protection). Coming from a happily married individual who has a fantastic sex life and whose husband treats her with actual respect, the only men who will find you disgusting for simply being sexually active are men you want to avoid anyways. That's quite a benefit, if you ask me.
I finally get the evolutionary reason why some men are attracted to pregnant women
A wise freind recently told me, as to my oneitis;
"assume she already fucked some of your friends"...different saying, but the same idea. If you cant cope with the idea that she fucks other guys, your way too far in for safety. Pull back a little, and reevaluate.
I thought I'd share something that happened to me recently that will hopefully stay in some of your guys head. So an ex of mine from years ago broke up with her boyfriend then a week later she got in contact with me cause she remembered how I used to fuck the shit out of her when we were younger. Well after 8 years of no contact she messaged me and 2 days later I was fucking the shit out of her again and her ex kept calling and messaging her and even sent flowers to her work to win her back even though she made it clear she wants nothing to do with him. My friends don't be this guy! If you have an ex and she doesn't wanna talk to you she is most definently getting fucked or making plans to get fucked. Girls are so savage sometimes. I felt bad for the guy but thats what happens to guys who make girls think they are in control. I bet she is even going to go back to him lol and he wont even care when she tells him about me like a fucking doofus
On The Black Philip Show Patrice said that to get over that feeling he would imagine his wife getting railed hard by someone with a bigger dick. Sounds cucky, but he said it was one way to get past that paranoia.
Dont be so hard on yourself just learn female nature and have options dont sweat the small stuff all women will be getting fucked when the right alpha crosses her path it just boils down to if he wants her not this is nothing new.
Did your mom do this? I'm not being a dick I'm serious. I say this to point out I think this is total bullshit. Not all women are like this. My mom was loyal. Once my dad died she doesn't go out with other men, still, and it has been many years. Some women are good and loyal, some aren't. The trick is vetting them and not going out and finding damaged goods with daddy issues who work at strip clubs.
not to be a dick but how do you know she didnt?
And thats not even bringing up the point that your mom probably didnt grow up in feminism where its socially acceptable to not be married till 30 and get a divorce.
So your mom did do this? In which case that would explain a lot. You were imprinted on this behavior so this is your model of normal for female. Not me, man. It is shit behavior for women, and I vet them first.
my mom grew up in a rural area 60 years ago, not in todays bullshit. Read the whole comment.
my mom has been divorced and remarried, and if my stepmom was a widow. Lets be honest though, youd never know if your mom went on a date if she didnt want you to.
The only girl I ever seriously dated I vetted for a long time, teamwork was still just a thing that benefitted her problems in the end tho. Maybe youre just a god among men at reading people's true selves before it happens.
And if your spouse died/ you got a divorce you would really just sit at home alone for the next 40 years and wait to die?
I always found this phrase useful:
"It doesn't matter how gorgeous she is, someone somewhere is tired of her shit."
Helped remind my friends and me that everyone is just human - get over them. You never have a shot if you put someone on a pedestal anyway.
I think that when the chips are down you'd be surprised how many turn out to be of this type. This goes for male friends too. As you get older you start to be able to smell it on people. The trouble with women isn't that they'll fuck you over. You are going to get fucked over at some point, that is almost a certainty, but you can recover. It's that we get tangled up with them and can't get out of it, and then they end up fucking us over and over again.
Everyone does little things that reveal their character. The biggest clue that someone is to be avoided, in my opinion, is a lack of accountability or humility. Here I'm talking about adults - a lot of younger people are like this, but some people don't grow out of it. As you get older you will meet a few people who are good as gold, which makes it easier to see the snakes. This is a super important life skill.
It took me over a decade of being an adult before I was willing to accept personal responsibility. I felt like terrible things always happened to me for no reason. I never owned up to the shit I did.
Now I do.
The Red Pill is probably the realist sub on reddit. Solid advice.
I know you think this now, because you probably believe this, and you are being honest, but you are being honest in an echochamber.
Stop trolling sorority whores with daddy issues and maybe you will stop gettin' with women that conform to your self-victimizing bullshit sophomoric view of women. What is funny is how transparent all this is on this thread, but you are talking like you are being all deep and woke and shit. "I met this girl at the bar after a hockey game with my friend and then she got with me." Yeah no shit Sherlock.
Emulating fucking Bonobo social structure as if that is the pinnacle of the human condition, with all this alpha and beta shit. You know what else is good for getting over a shitty girlfriend? A better fucking girlfriend who isn't a fucking slutty whore who will cheat on you. I don't know how many of your mothers are slutty cheating whores. I'm sorry for you if yours was, maybe that is part of the problem. You imprinted on that at a young age, so you think that is how the world works. But mine is not like that. My wife is not like that. Of all my girlfriends, only one was like that, and she clearly had crazy-ass psychological baggage. You know what I did? I made a better fucking choice of girlfriend, I didn't pick them at bars, I vetted them and I'm smart and I didn't act like a prick to them because that's exactly how you'll find women who conform to the stereotypes you are whining about like little blue pill bitches.
lol
As I gain more experience, I find this more and more to be true. People's personalities are all different, but there are still a lot of AWALT traits. It really shouldn't come as a surprise that high value people, like other high value people. Guys want pretty, sexually adventurous, sociable women, and girls want handsome, fit guys who are socially capable and dominant when necessary. Everybody likes these people. They are desirable and get what they want, and can do what they want. That's where their shitty or awesome personality makes a difference. If you are not one of those people, and you are up against one of them, you will usually lose. Combine that with those people doing whatever they want, and you get the reasons for most people's crappy experiences with the gender of their choice. Having said that, biological differences do have an influence, after all, the hormones mostly run your brain, and men and women are different in that regard.
Going to repost what the guy wrote since I thought it was pretty insightful.
Wow. You actually took time out of your life to write all that out. Classic 1upmanship. I feel sad for you. TRP is the realist sub on Reddit but remember this is still Reddit. Take it all in stride. Think before you post. Keep lifting.
If that is the amount of thought you put into things, I'm not surprised that you think this thread contains the pearls of wisdom you need to navigate life. Keep picking winners bruh.
In Romania we have a little Saying that goes like this:
"Fuck your woman in the morning or someone else will fuck her for you, by the the time you come back from work."
Where I come from, the saying goes: "In every household the wife always have to fuck at 11:00pm, whether the husband is there or not"
Love the idea. Simple and applicable immediately.
I vaguely remember a thread from a year ago or something like that.
A high SMV (has game too) dude meets HB10. She's not like other girls, RIGHT?
They fuck (hard and multiple times) on (eg.) Monday night, she wants (very) to meet on Tuesday, he can't make it. They meet on Wednesday morning, they fuck. She trickles truth that she fucked some other dude on Tuesday.
In a span of something like 12h she managed to squeeze another dude in, despite meeting the best man she ever met so far (I'm pretty sure she said it too).
People might laugh, but 9/10, its probably true. If you've been on other side of the fence - the guy doing the fucking - I've lost track of the number of times the girl's bf/husband/bff/parents call when you've got her bent over backwards or just getting fucked silly.
You can make it a game and see how long after fucking you will she check the message or return the call. How long before you're asked to leave or she has to head out.
As often as she wants to, yes. It really is that simple for most women.
I've always had this kind of self-talk -- 20 years settled down with the same girl, kids etc but nonetheless always remember we are human. We aren't monogamous by nature
Saying she is getting railed by someone else blocks the pedestalization process but will not tackle thirst-induced reactions. To me the only sure way to get to true IDGAF attitude is to know that you 1) can get girls easily enough 2 ) have passions and stuff you place above everything else, things you do because YOU love doing them and not for others. If you are not sure about 1), believe you can. Matters not it is not true. The antidote to oneitis is abundance mentality.
All beautiful women have been used like a cumdumpster for the amusement of some guy who is way out of their league; that's a reality of the modern Western hypergamous world. Even as good-looking women get older, they never truly want to "settle down" or fuck some beta bux, they still want to be the cumdumpster for a guy way out of their league, but they realize they can't get that guy anymore. Anyone who's read Sexual Utopia or browsed here long enough knows this.
Let's make this more powerful: "she's probably getting fucked in the ass behind a dumpster at a bar by some guy she met less than an hour ago, who's looking at his watch with an hour countdown being sure to go from first impressing to cum in her ass in under one hour."
"She's probably on a Tinder date after the initial convo was "I'm going take you out to McDonalds and fuck you in the toilet", and his abs made her reply to his audacity rather than block him, and he's sticking the burger in her mouth to stifle the moaning from his dick in her ass while calling her a "noisy bitch."
"She's probably at Home Depot sampling some hot sales associate's wood before he brings her the fertilizer."
"She's probably at her dentist appointment mumbling out with the spit-sucker in her mouth "aftr you whten my teef wanna whten my fce?""
Its like my brother wrote this post. Thanks to him I've internalized the shit out of this phrase
I think i got the solution to that
Fuck man, this hits home so hard. This has always been the way I think about the girls I like. Even right now, the girls I have a good eye for are, lets see, one on an exchange, another on a trip across the world for half a year with her friend and the third has a boyfriend. Of course the latter one is getting fucked, and that doesn't bother me in a committed relationship, but the two others... Man, I can just imagine them banging some random chad because noone will know about it back home. Then they will play the innocent girl act when they are back. This really is my biggest problem. I am still low smv, so to think my favourite, seemingly high quality girls are out there travelling, probably getting dicked on a very regular basis, by multiple dudes, really fucking hurts.
Does it ever get better? :(
I'm almost 50. It doesn't. People tell you women hit the wall and change. They don't. I know women riding the dick parade in their 40s and 50s and I assume it continues after that. Worse, I know women very well in their later 30s trying to shame various men into becoming their beta bux. I know these men and women well. I generally give the guy one warning if he asks and if he doesn't or if he ignores me, that is his fault.
I am also an enlisted and officer veteran. My view of people is incredibly jaded. I was married once and I followed all the rules dating the gal for over 6 years before marrying her.
Just don't do it. Please, to everyone and anyone reading this. Woman are the very worst. I know exactly one couple in my entire life that are still together after 10 years. Guess what? She is ugly and he isn't and he is rich as fuck.
Also please god if you are in the military don't get married, you have no idea the massive misery I have seen in that regard.
I use this to help me get over my oneitis.
It's pretty reasonable to think that if a girl ditches you, she's out hanging out with another guy. Women need sex too.
Depends on the girl. They often have a whole flock of chick friends and they typically aren't as sexual as guys so don't care as much about getting it.
Girls are very sexual and might be even more than guys. The difference is they know they can always find a guy to have sex with so they aren't as hungry to go out and find guys where for guys its a little harder because guys need to work harder to get laid and have a higher chance of rejection. I've met some girls who fuck guy after guy cause they like it and I've met guys who don't feel comfortable with one night stands so you cant really say guys are more sexual. Its just different for each individual.
My SO has never cheated. Stop fucking generalizing and grow the fuck up!
Perhaps not, and good on her for being a decent person.
That being said, I can prettying universally generalize for most men with a small anecdote:
I'm about a 9 on a 1-10 scale. High income earner. Responsible. In shape. All those things. I've always had options.
My now ex-wife was about as much as you could hope for, I thought. She went off the deep end. We divorced.
Later found out she fucked 3 guys in the time after our son was born, we separated some time shortly thereafter and she's currently fucking at least two other guys.
Just don't be delusional is my greater point. Most men are cheated on at some point, regardless of their value.
Western society places women in a position to explore and exploit the most base and uncontrollable of their natural instincts. There are no unicorns.
Some guys tend to serially pick women that cheat, I've noticed. What is it about those guys, I wonder. :) Of all my gals, I think one might have, and she had crazy-ass baggage that I could have spotted if I had vetted her properly and not gone just on her looks.
My mom hasn't been on a date since my dad died. Granted she's old. But my point is not all women are whores guys.
Yeah listen to this guy. He's a 9, big earner blah blah. I wonder if he picked his wife for her commitment to virtue.
Actually, I did.
And yes, objectively, I'm a good looking guy who has taken care of himself and has been successful in his career.
My wife turned out to have BPD. I've posted about it before.
She was entrancing, convincing, beautiful, fun (at first), and I thought dedicated.
Then the masks started falling to the floor.
You live, you learn.
Been there, done that. And I think there are a hell of a lot of borderlines out there. Some worse than others, but still out there in droves.
Why? To make sure you don't start to care about someone/like someone?
To make sure that you don't pedestalise a woman or have unrealistic expectations.
People need to vet women better and stop picking skanks who cheat. It's really not that hard. Resorting to lies to insulate oneself from getting hurt is sort of...beta. (Just kidding I hate that alpha/beta chimpanzee social structure bullshit, but you get what I'm saying)
While I agree with you, the difference is just one leaves you for the next guy, and one doesnt leave you but still fucks the next guy. Sorry to burst youre bubble but theyll never be honest with you
You really need to vet your women better.
Out of all the women ive ever been with one made it through vetting and that took 2 years... You cant vet for a unicorn
I think it's great people are realistic with regards to expectations but constantly telling yourself 'she's probably out getting fucked' I think is taking that too far as it implies all women are cheating/promiscuous which clearly isn't the case. It's ok to like someone and invest in someone; actually, that's the only way you can have a mutually satisfactory emotional relationship with someone else. Yes, that makes you vulnerable and yes you will get hurt. Happens to women too. It's part of dating/relationships.
Because she's probably out getting fucked.
but but but . . . out getting fucked.