Ex Wife Can Barely Function

TraditionalThing8279 · 2022-06-28T16:29:18+00:00

I would block her. She chose to fuck you over and now needs you for basic life stuff?

Tell her too bad. She lost you with what she did and now she can find someone else to help her survive life.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2022-06-28T17:17:27+00:00

Repeat after me: "Those sound like questions a husband would answer".

monster_dutson · 2022-06-28T16:37:43+00:00

Block her, you need to go full no contact.

Duchesst · 2022-06-28T16:48:01+00:00

Ignore, ignore ignore

folie-a-dont · 2022-06-28T16:51:51+00:00

Why would she figure anything out when you are right there to do everything for her? You already know what you need to do. Cut the cord.

CRobinsFly · 2022-06-28T16:55:23+00:00

I'd offer to help her as long as there's a charge of 75$/hr (or more if you want) for your time. Min charge of an hour. You'll either make money or you'll never hear from her again.

seek1nganewlife · 2022-06-28T16:52:27+00:00

"strong, independent, business owner."... I can relate. STBXW loves to let everyone know she has a professional license and owns her own business, yet she has no clue how to even enter hours into quickbooks to write a damn paycheck for her employees. Forget about meeting with our CPA to understand anything about her business, what taxes she pays or if she's even making any real money. I do it all because she will fuck it up or ask me anyway. During COVID the government was handing out grants to companies like ours that were shut down... free money, all we had to do was apply for it. But nope... looking at P&Ls confused her too much to bother. But hey... I'm the useless one in the family.

henrysmyagent · 2022-06-28T17:29:40+00:00

She fired you as her husband.

STOP HUSBANDING FOR FREE

AirSailer · 2022-06-28T17:31:44+00:00

I said basically the same thing in another thread. It's amazing how some women who totally fake their capabilities.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vm7oa5/stbexw_is_dumb/idzj609?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

jasoncb123 · 2022-06-28T17:33:21+00:00

Tell her 300lbs per tire

sohumm · 2022-06-28T18:42:45+00:00

She is asking you because you are responding. So, don't block her. Just stop responding. Let her see that her messages are getting delivered. Let her understand that you are ignoring her intentionally.

I am sure she will get another man for help when you stop helping. They are natural in doing so. There will be other simps to help her. Just don't respond to her.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-28T20:18:17+00:00

> Now she calls me for EVERYTHING.

Stop answering the phone when she calls. In fact, block her number. You have zero reason to talk to her.

live_long_n_prosper · 2022-06-28T19:58:17+00:00

She's just taking with no sex, respect, love, in return, flush the parasite, partnerships need equal contribution, and u ain't even partners anymore

Imswim80 · 2022-06-28T18:50:05+00:00

As you don't have children, and all the legal things have been settled, there is little reason to contact/converse with her.

You are not her secretary. You are not her password manager. You are not her Google.

She can absolutely search out the solutions to the questions she asks you.

My ex struggles to set up online accounts for her accesses to our kids medical records or school. She doesn't like sitting on hold for any length of time for the help desks.

In the past (pre-divorce), i would do that kind of stuff. I still do, for Me, in regards to my kid. Otherwise, she can figure out password resets and how to get in herself. Her access is not my problem, and I am not her secretary.

playerknowmore · 2022-06-28T19:18:21+00:00

Dude, you fell into the friendship gap. Especially with cheaters a post divorce friendship says she wasn't a horrible person. I bet she runs around saying shit like I'll get Allen to do that for me, if it weren't for Allen I never would have gotten that done.

Tell her that you are moving to another state; get in a serious relationship, and watch hee freak out. That desire for this level of friendship likely is why you got an amicable divorce.

sicrm · 2022-06-28T19:11:51+00:00

doing everything for someone and acting like they’re way above you like that is a double edged sword.

they don’t appreciate what you do for them, expect you to keep doing that and more, while not respecting you since you give them everything no matter that they do.

luckily you got out with no kids. block her and move on.

stent00 · 2022-06-28T20:34:36+00:00

sounds like she dumb as a rock and shouldn't be operating her own business... She's nothing without you obviously. Re.foe you to ghost her then she will get the point your not her whipping boy anymore

Rock_Lizard · 2022-06-28T23:01:18+00:00

She's doing it as a way to stay in contact with you. You were clearly her back up plan since Mr Wonderful turned out to be not so much.

Cut it off.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-29T11:48:14+00:00

You are no longer her husband or partner. You have no kids together. So, any communication you maintain is purely voluntary. Start charging her $150/hr consulting fee and make her retain you. Meaning, she sends you $5k up front and you deduct your fee in 15 minute increments like any lawyer or consultant.

RunItAndSee2021 · 2022-06-28T19:00:41+00:00

“suggestion=>change your number before ‘blocking’ her.”

JD-Anderson · 2022-06-28T17:55:32+00:00

Buy her a burner phone and give her $40 cash and tell her “you’re welcome, now figure it out yourself”. Then block her number.

Smoke-Porterhouse · 2022-06-28T17:50:27+00:00

Ahhh yes, man. I haven't gone through it quite to the degree you have, but yes, bro. I feel you.

You're only being relied upon because there is not someone else at the moment.

Assertively, kindly, and lovingly (for yourself) draw and keep that boundary with strength and power.

Norm_mustick · 2022-06-28T21:17:09+00:00

Sir... You should definitely block her. The wound from the ordeal has never had a chance to heal with her constantly pretending you are friends and now it’s festering and you’re going to start building hatred toward her which is not good for you. You get to move on but on your own terms now. And though she can’t figure out how to google how much air needs to be in her tires, she sounds like the type who will start contacting you from different numbers to get around a block. You might end up having to change numbers to finally move on, unfortunately.

cschoonmaker · 2022-06-28T21:38:36+00:00

Time to cut the cord. She wanted out, you let her out. And you were more than generous no fighting anything. Time for her to sink or swim on her own. Any grown ass adult should be able to figure this stuff out on their own. You have no children together so you have no reason to continue to entertain her bullshit. Block her number and move on with your life in peace.

derelictherds · 2022-06-28T21:58:30+00:00

I accepted my part of the blame in all of it

No. No. No. There are plenty of ways to end a relationship properly and cheating isn't one of them. If you do not have children with this person, then block her and never look back.

lordgoofus1 · 2022-06-28T22:55:08+00:00

You're being way too nice. Block the number/change your number, change address if you need to (or can), go no contact. She's a source of stress in your life that doesn't need to be there, remove it.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-28T23:19:31+00:00

You are free to set whatever boundaries you deem appropriate, up to and including no contact. She has no say in this. You are correct.

Freefaller6 · 2022-06-28T23:38:38+00:00

They saying goes when you walk into a room of needy people, look for the sucker. And if you can’t find him, it’s you!

Fuck her bro. Have some dignity, and I mean that with respect.

slab3 · 2022-06-29T00:14:14+00:00

just block her

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-29T00:14:59+00:00

I'll add another comment here: just because you understand the factors she considered that led her to cheat on you, doesn't mean it's your fault. If there's something wrong or something you don't like about your partner, you try to make them change, repeatedly, while at the same time trying to be able to accept them, yourself. You give second, third, fourth chances to people you love to change. Her decision isn't your fault.

But you don't seem angry at all, did you work through it or what?

awesomelybearded · 2022-06-29T03:51:12+00:00

Sounds like she wants you back.

romworld · 2022-06-29T07:09:13+00:00

Man, I feel you. I punched above my weight too. Sure was nice when I was fit as fuck. But then I focused on earning stacks of cash like she wanted because she’s a materialistic pos that likes trips to Italy. When I got a little doughy she cheated on me. Not with a a physical dude but the lord almighty. Started going to church 4-5 times per week. Still think she had an affair with the priest (Orthodox Christian). Now she does the same thing. Asking me questions that she should know or answer with Google. I realised she did this throughout our marriage. I realised never fucking punch above your weight. I was being civil and thought and a decent human. But fuck that shit. We have no kids or any reason to be in each other’s lives.

Gattsama · 2022-06-29T08:18:02+00:00

Here's the thing, there is NO reason for her to stop calling you as you keep doing 'husband shit' for her. Stop doing stuff, zero help, cold turkey. Of course she will try to use SIGN language to get you to continue to help. Ignore that. She is no longer your responsibility... You don't need to change your number, you need to change your life.

Flesh_Pillow5 · 2022-06-29T14:01:08+00:00

Men are too nice to women. Ask yourself is she having sex with you when you want and need it? To at least help you a long the way?

fencingmom1972 · 2022-06-29T14:19:20+00:00

Every time you’re asked a question, answer with the link to Google or YouTube and nothing else. She’ll eventually get the message (and get her info. from someplace else).

warrior_up · 2022-06-29T15:52:35+00:00

Nice guy is what got you here, she's calling because she knows you'll pick up. No need to be mean, but its time to get indifferent about this woman that obviously didn't give two shits about you or your feelings. You're giving her exactly what she knows she can get from you, her safety net and guy that will always be there for her while she fucks around and lives life as a modern day street hooker, I can guarantee shes laughing at you to all these men she bangs. Fuck her - enjoy the streets and the bed you made.

CaliDude75 · 2022-06-30T04:44:12+00:00

I can relate to this on so many levels! Also married 16 years, no kids. No infidelity (as far as I'm aware of). The main difference in my case is my wife worshiped her father, so she's probably bugging the h#ll out of him for advice now.

Same deal...In her 40s, and almost no independent life skills. Well...She's learning the hard way now! As part of the settlement, I'm basically giving her our $1 million house. On a purely net asset value basis, that's currently WAY more than 50% of our combined net worth. But I know in the long run, I'll be fine. She's going to have to refi, and in this current environment, rates are WAY higher than the current loan. Oh well. That's her problem now. I hear from her once every few weeks in terms of passwords and some account info, but she hasn't been bugging me much, thankfully.

If she's honestly bugging you that much, then yeah, block her number and basically cease contact with her except for absolutely critical communication regarding the settlement, alimony, etc.

JSNTFS · 2022-07-01T21:46:54+00:00

Dude, cut her off.

My ex wasn't as bad as yours but simple tasks like adding air to her tires, changing lightbulbs or basic home maintenance were way beyond her (everyone's a feminist until the sinks starts leaking). There is no way I would have continued to help her with any of that crap once we were done.

Of course I get cussed out and called every name in the book, then hung up on.

Why are you putting up with this? Just block her.

You can literally get answers to everything by spending 2 minutes on Google.

This! I wasn't born with some innate ability to fix broken stuff in the house. My father is a great guy but also not handy at all so I sure didn't learn it from him. YouTube exists, put in the damned effort to teach yourself.

naan_existenz · 2022-07-03T08:01:43+00:00

Go no contact and block if you have to.

You'll be helping the both of you.

Title	Ex Wife Can Barely Function
Author	Alternative_Use_9416
Upvotes	38
Comments	55
Date	June 28, 2022 4:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vmr44x/ex_wife_can_barely_function/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-wife-can-barely-function.1122197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122197