A quality 1ct diamond can be over 10k, BUT Reddit society agrees that $7500 on an engagement ring is INSANE

Sage_Planter · 2022-01-25T01:28:46+00:00

Even if he does buy her the ring, it won't even be worth it (emotionally) at this point. He's going to hold it over her for the rest of their lives.

In my early 20's, I asked my ex for a Tiffany's necklace for Christmas. Nothing fancy. It was a very inexpensive, entry level Tiffany's item for around $200. He lived with his parents paying $500/mo rent and worked full time in a good job so it wasn't an unrealistic ask.

Well, because I asked for "such a big gift," he told me we couldn't go on dates for over a month and held it over my head that he was "making all these sacrifices" for my necklace. By the time Christmas rolled around, I was so resentful and didn't even want the damn thing anymore. It tarnished the gift.

To make matters worse, his sister bought every woman in the family "Tiffany's necklaces," which I'm 98% sure were fake, and I had to listen to how she upstaged him and blah blah blah.

Not worth it.

FI-REfox · 2022-01-25T02:21:27+00:00

Another one of these guys... is he marrying reddit or is he marrying this woman? Because he only has to worry about pleasing one of those and he picked the wrong one, as usual.

Why are men.

Mcccy · 2022-01-25T09:02:24+00:00

Gf of 7 years was all I had to read tbh

Technical_Moth248 · 2022-01-25T00:58:50+00:00

Both of his alternative options are so weak. He can barely make a dent in her debt (and hold it over her head forever) or pay for their housing until she can do 50/50 for the rest of their lives, how romantic 🙄

I can't see if it's included on this post, but he went on to say he currently lives with family, this is the only expensive thing she's ever asked for in their entire relationship (so this is "out of character" bc she's usually "kind and big hearted"), and she does not want an expensive wedding or honeymoon. Don't worry, he's going to put his foot down and will only spend a max of $3,000 which he still thinks is too much!!

This is what being the always sweet gf that never asks for anything gets you. He does not value or respect her at all and never will.

SakuraGirl88 · 2022-01-25T00:52:30+00:00

Partner of 7 years? She needs to run. This is code for "I couldn't possibly spend that amount of money on you since I've been dangling the marriage carrot all this time but sure let me bemoan my oppression" 🙄

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-01-25T00:47:48+00:00

Something that makes their future spouse feel loved, valued, and happy whenever she looks at her hand for the duration of their marriage and might become a treasured family heirloom one day? $1k max. A gaming rig that'll be obsolete in less than a year when new graphics cards are released? They'll drop $10k without thinking.

Guess which one he values.

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-25T01:50:31+00:00

Forum full of porn-sick braindead scrotes that can't be bothered to even wash their assholes properly: Yeah, your girlfriend is an ungrateful b!tch.

This guy: I knew I wasn't crazy!

dazedandcofused_ · 2022-01-25T02:24:37+00:00

Reason 128232039203 to never date broke ass and/or stingy men, especially ones who still live with their parents like what the hell!

VanessaViews · 2022-01-25T02:16:31+00:00

He lost me at still living at home. He has more than enough money to afford the ring. I actually don't think $7,500 is that much.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-25T03:16:59+00:00

Don’t date a broke man
Don’t be a partner for 7 years with no ring

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2022-01-25T05:17:18+00:00

I went and scrolled through the comments on the original post and feel fueled by righteous fury on her behalf

NEVER let someone treat you the way this guy or any of the stupid commenters on that post are acting. They act like she's some money-whore for wanting something

It's OKAY to want things. You should want things! We are not buddhist monks who give up their worldly possessions for spiritual reasons

Also: redditors always insist the ring is "no big deal!" but clearly it IS a big deal or he wouldn't mind dropping the $ and getting it for her

It just proves he wants his wife appliance, and that he REALLY sees her, a human being that way. FYI he insinuated she's only worth $3k--what a joke

crafeminist · 2022-01-25T06:31:58+00:00

He’s offering ~$10k in future rent money but doesn’t want to buy her a ring. He is more concerned about having a roommate to split rent with than making this woman happy.

warinmymind94 · 2022-01-25T03:39:33+00:00

Pandora or the jcpenney $25 ring section is TOO CHEAP though. For a man that is very wealthy, $7500 is not enough. For a man that maybe makes $40k a year though, then $7500 is a bit much for his salary - you need to make sure the man is financially savvy. The cost of the ring should be appropriate for his income- it should be at least a months salary in my opinion - and it definitely needs to reflect your style and preferences of whatever stone/metal/material you like. You do not have to be settling for a cheap ring or cheap alternates, your ring is something special and should be of value.

arnezuara · 2022-01-25T00:58:14+00:00

I pray she leaves his ass. She’s better off dating someone else who’s more generous, financially savvy, and makes more than him.

hiphopanonymous98 · 2022-01-25T01:21:35+00:00

Gross. He also seems like the type to buy the ring then moan to everyone how much it costs. Which isn’t even that much! You think if he really cared about his girlfriend of 7 years, and wanted to impress her/get her something that would make her proud of him/their relationship? Absolutely he would! So applicable here, but if he wanted to, he would.

The_Moon_Piece · 2022-01-25T05:06:15+00:00

They spend that much and more on gaming gear or other stuff for their hobbies, but symbolic jewelry that his wife is going to wear for the rest of her life is too much? Negative value.

the-worst- · 2022-01-25T12:21:07+00:00

"We don't live together yet." You aren't even engaged yet, dingus. And you aren't even willing to buy her a relatively cheap ring. Let me guess, he'd rather just by her one of those $10 completely fake rings that are sold near walmart's jewelry counter?

"I can afford it" so why is it such a problem? And why would you rather spend much more on paying way ahead on rent instead of buying what she asked for?

I hope she dumps him for going to reddit about this. Why wasn't he told " just communicate!"? Why was he agreed with? Oh right, because he is a man and reddit hates women, especially women with... any standards. At all.

Keepers12345 · 2022-01-25T04:07:06+00:00

Yea, whatever, confirmation bias.

Feeding the trolls.

You know that others IRL told him that spending $7,500 on his 7-year girlfriend isn't unreasonable. The ring that she chose was modestly priced.

He'd be benefiting from paying rent. What's his logic there? That he isn't willing to invest in a ring that the love of his life will be wearing his entire life?

discochicken87 · 2022-01-25T16:05:49+00:00

I think it's an indicator of what they'll be like with future gifts too. I let my husband (escaped from him 3 months ago) buy me a $250 engagement ring, and he wouldn't even let me wear it till the ring exchanging during the wedding. His gifts to me at Xmas were thoughtless, cheap, more for him than me or pranks (eg a toilet brush because that's what I said to get after he asked me what I wanted- and what I really wanted was to be thought of, not bought something off a shopping list) while I'd spend several hundred a year on him, alcohol, fun stuff, game consoles etc... What little jewelry he bought me was cheap plated stuff that hurt my ears and so over the top I couldn't wear them out for day to day.

The one and only time he gave me nice quality jewellery I had to specify exactly what I wanted, and while the earrings were still cheap I did love that I finally had something nice to wear everyday. Then later on Xmas day his parents gave me the same exact set. Because he told them to. Because he thought it'd be cool to wear 4 identical earrings at the same time. Mind you this guy had his Mummy buy me lingerie for our first Valentine's Day together. When I was still a teenager. ⛳⛳⛳⛳⛳

If they can't be thoughtful while dating they sure as hell won't be when they're married.

iacint · 2022-01-25T08:56:00+00:00

for my country it;s are crazy money, for first world i think no

gravedestruct1on · 2022-01-25T23:03:25+00:00

I don’t think $7500 is insane depending on how well off financially someone is, my sisters husband spent $10k on my sisters ring with no hesitation.

Normally I agree with these sorts of posts because an engagement ring is special and will last a lifetime. However I have to go against the grain on this post because I would never marry someone with that much debt. I mean maybe I just grew up poor but some of these comments......”don’t date broke men” like she’s definitely more broke than him and that student loan debt will be large burden once they get married. Some people have no hopes to even pay it off. It really hinders your ability to start your life, save for a nice down payment on a house, etc. I would be hesitant to spend money on someone with so much debt because it would make me question why they didn’t mitigate some of that risk by applying for scholarships, doing AP/Dual enrollment, going to a community college and then transferring, or even trying to move to a location with more affordable college. Unless you’re going to become a doctor....I really don’t think anyone’s student loans should be that high.

Do I think he should be stringing her along for the past 8 years? Absolutely not. But I personally think he can’t see past her debt at this point. He should have just broken up with her when he knew her financial situation. Let’s be real, he was probably never going to marry her. & if he does he’s going to blame everything in his life and the sacrifices he has to make being in that financial situation on her debt

OvarianSynthesizer · 2022-01-25T03:32:43+00:00

There’s a lot of issues with the diamond industry.

thinktwiceorelse · 2022-01-25T16:49:47+00:00

How is that expensive for an American? I heard that an engagement ring should be worth of three monthly salaries, at least here in Eastern Europe.

seashellsupplier · 2022-01-25T10:23:28+00:00

I mean to be fair, I‘d rather have my debt paid off than a ring. 7500$ might not be a lot for a diamond ring, but it‘s a lot in the context. I wouldn‘t bother with a guy like that, because to only be making 55k in California means he‘s in a bad career and just not well off financially. It also sounds like he doesn’t have a college degree (or is significantly older than her, since he doesn’t mention his debt). They are mismatched and she should find someone more in line with her values. My guess is he wants to leech off of her once she has a career going to become a stay at home husband and start his gaming career.

resilientspirit · 2022-01-25T23:36:37+00:00

My whole bridal set (engagement ring and wedding band) was $4000. And I fucking love it. My fiance and I picked our rings together and paid for them together based on our incomes. It was the first large joint purchase of our shared life. I make SIGNIFICANTLY more than he does (like 5x more), but he still contributed as much as our agreements on budget/income disparity dictated.

There is no magic number. It's the number that makes nobody feel like someone is cheaping out or being selfish.

Title	A quality 1ct diamond can be over 10k, BUT Reddit society agrees that $7500 on an engagement ring is INSANE
Author	capresesalad1985
Upvotes	150
Comments	69
Date	January 24, 2022 11:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sc05ur/a_quality_1ct_diamond_can_be_over_10k_but_reddit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-quality-1ct-diamond-can-be-over-10k-but-reddit.1097732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097732

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