Anyone else notice this?

science_with_a_smile · 2020-11-04T03:49:14+00:00

It's a documented form of abuse called reproductive coercion

LilyChickadee · 2020-11-04T07:26:54+00:00

Lmao. A little over a year and a half ago I met a man on Reddit (was still a major pick me omg) who wanted to “tame me” and marry and impregnate me. He said pregnancy would likely cure my mental illness by making me less selfish. Fuck yes men get women pregnant on purpose. That’s without touching on it being a fucking FETISH for some men.

guccitechno · 2020-11-04T05:38:25+00:00

Yes I had a male “friend” tell me he was cumming in his girlfriend and not telling her to try and get her pregnant. I told her and she left his sorry ass. He’s also no longer a friend.

Also had a best friend who was being groomed by an older guy in her teens that was always trying to convince her to get pregnant.

Do not let a LVM get you pregnant, or have the opportunity to “accidentally on purpose” get you pregnant. Be in control!

Curious_pari · 2020-11-04T08:32:44+00:00

A close friend's husband and his family kept pressuring her to have a baby. When she did, after stalling them for three years, he left her within six months of delivery. Apparently, they'd been planning this all along. He wanted to leave after the baby so it won't be easy for her to remarry.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-11-04T10:30:39+00:00

Most men in their mid 20s already want children (26-28, I know lots of cases). And that's when the women don't because career-wise they are ascending. I've seen men insist on the children and pressure the women. Most women thought of really 30s as good for having children but their SOs insisted. There is a woman in my pilates class who is 30 like me and she's now on maternity leave. She told us how her husband insisted on a baby and she gave in (she was 27-28). She gave birth but he didn't help her with anything. She sleeps in a room with the baby and he sleeps alone in another room, plays games, works a basic corporate job, you know the drill... She also is the main caretaker to that baby. Hubby only wants her to keep him awake so he can play for 5 minutes with the baby boy. Then he goes and plays ps4 in the living room while she bathes the baby and goes to sleep with the baby. She confessed she came to class because she is afraid that if she didn't get back to the body previous to having their son, he might start cheating/ leaving because they haven't been intimate in a while. We asked why and she said that hubby always says he's tired and when she initiate, he reprimands her or refuses her, makes fun of her. This woman is 30, very beautiful, quite athletic, has only a bit of baby tummy. Also, she leaves 10 minutes earlier from the class (literally runs) because he starts calling for her to come back home and care for the baby he insisted on having. Judge for yourselves.

__kamikaze__ · 2020-11-04T04:19:25+00:00

It irritates me how women are burdened with the huge disadvantage of pregnancy. Unless you want a child, be extremely cautious of this!

Pahapan · 2020-11-04T06:55:11+00:00

Reproductive coercion is a lot more common than people realize. And society tends to assume that if anyone is reproductively coercing it must be the baby crazy woman, right? Nope. Probably 9 times out of 10 it's the man, trying to entrap the woman. Nothing will sidetrack a woman's life faster than a pregnancy, nor plummet her standards to such incredible new lows. Pregnancy leads to countless women settling for shitty relationships with LVM, NVM, and abusers.

My abusive ex reproductively coerced me, raped me, and quickly succeeded in getting me pregnant. When I told him, literally one of the first things he said was, "You're mine now." Very early on in our relationship I'd made the huge mistake of confiding in him that I want to be a mother, that it's a dream of mine. I told him that when I have kids I want to be able to stay at home until they're in grade school. I don't see the point in having kids if I can't even be with them for their formative years. He hadn't really responded to that at the time. But once I was pregnant, suddenly he was informing me that I'd have to keep working and that our moms (mine who neglected and emotionally abused me and his who physically abused him) could watch the baby. I was his cash cow and he had zero intention of letting that dry up. God forbid he step up and work more than 16 hours a week to provide for the life he'd coerced into me. He wouldn't even stop smoking weed around me even though it's obviously not a good idea to smoke around a pregnant person and it exasperated my awful nausea.

It took me something like 7 days from that positive pregnancy test to schedule an abortion. My world came crashing down on me and I was overcome with this impending sense of doom. I was dooming myself, I was dooming my baby. This wasn't the life I wanted for us. Survival mode kicked in, thankfully. He'd told me he'd kill me if I ever aborted but tbh dying would have been preferable to being tethered to him for the rest of my life. Would have been preferable to allowing him to ruin my baby's life.

Stay on high alert, ladies. These scumbags are everywhere, some more overt than others. Please look into birth control that's tamperproof, like the implant or an IUD. You can't trust men when it comes to reproduction. Please do not rely only on condoms. Every man I've been with has pressured me to let them take the condom off. Two of them took condoms off without saying anything, knowing I wasn't on birth control. If, when, and how you have kids is the biggest life choice you will ever make. Don't let it be stolen from you. Our right to abortion is being threatened, and even if it is easily accessible to you it can have a dire emotional/mental impact. Prioritize yourself, your health, and your desires.

ohhell_nothankyou · 2020-11-04T03:44:34+00:00

[deleted]

bumbumboleji · 2020-11-04T04:19:38+00:00

They sometimes also try to feed us to make us chubby. Or encourage us to look sloppy. (Nothing wrong with being chubby or sloppy) when a man gets you in sweatpants and feeds you pizza, sure it’s nice but you gotta wonder is he doing it so you enjoy yourself, or is part of him doing it so you get down to his level and don’t leave him???

MoreMochaPlease · 2020-11-04T04:08:42+00:00

I’ve know this since I was a child. Men are very calculating and throw that projection into women. My father told me since I was old enough to understand how calculating, manipulative, and horrible men can be.

Which is why I take birth control and access to safe abortion very seriously. Apart of my prepper pantry is a serious stock of condoms and plan b pills as back up for my IUD. I don’t take random pregnancy scares lightly!

broggybrog · 2020-11-04T06:05:45+00:00

Can confirm, happened to me this year. It’s a particular type of crazy making, to be trapped in your own body like that.

ModernDayOracle · 2020-11-04T04:23:49+00:00

It's called reproductive coercion and is considered a form of domestic violence.

suspended_animation_ · 2020-11-04T04:11:32+00:00

I'm glad I never got pregnant

Lallipoplady · 2020-11-04T06:04:40+00:00

Yes. Men definitely trap women with children. Im sure of this.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-04T16:17:05+00:00

You ladies would not believe the number of men screaming in the notes that this isn't true.

Meanwhile reproductive coercion and straight up birth control sabotage (removing condoms halfway through, refusing to wear condoms, throwing away birth control pills, ripping out iuds, etc) was perpetrated by half of men where the woman ended up with an unintended pregnancy...

*Edited for clarity

light_workerx3 · 2020-11-04T13:12:41+00:00

Yup . My son's father got me pregnant like 4-5 months into our relationship . I had been on birth control for years so I was so shocked when I found out I was pregnant. Anyways, he would constantly joke around and would say , " yup I got you pregnant, seen how beautiful and fine you are , got you off the "market" and told you to sit your ass down for 9 months !.."

He used to say it in a joking way , around friends or when we were alone . Deep down I knew their was some truth to it.

BlackcatMemphis76 · 2020-11-04T09:46:02+00:00

I was thinking this about Megan Fox and how BAG (Brian Austin green) groomed her beginning at the age of 18. I always found it strange that she tried to leave him in 2015 then all of a sudden became pregnant.

SayNad · 2020-11-04T19:51:49+00:00

You see this a lot among women in high career field. The husband will persuade them to have kids when she is climbing the ladder towards success and after the baby is born, slowly brainwash her into "at least think" about leaving her dream job and "spend more time with the kids".

How? By not doing his part as the damn father. So of course the mother is left exhausted trying to juggle a million things at once. And slowly cracking down on the brainwashing.

He loved it when she was the perfect trophy wife with the perfect achievements (that elevate him in society) but once she starts to surpass him, suddenly she "needs to know her place", hah.

ProgressivePr0gramm · 2020-11-04T10:04:37+00:00

If you get pregnant by someone, it's more binding than a marriage. You can't just leave for ever without a word and let the lawyers handle it, unless you have serious claims against the other parent (although, they dont really want to parent, they want to controll). Serious stuff must happen - heavy addicition to alcohol or drugs, severe domestic violence, child porn possesion or ,,proved" rape. All that while most of the violence controlling people execute is financial, emotional or sexual. Things that in a relationship are hard to prove and set you up in a bad Position in court. It's obvious with financial violence, but other non physical abuse always takes a tool on work performace. And surely, the abuser is not going to do a fair share in unpaid work or substitute it in any way.

But thats what they want. You to be bound to them, so you will silently tolerate even more abuse. Because you would not stript your child of a parent, because you want whats best for your kid, for it to not be fatherless. And If you dare to leave anyway, they have it so much easier, to always have one foot up your door If you share custody. They want to controll you. If they fail, they want at least to keep abusing you. Going long ways to not pay child support is just that, financial abuse. You are the poor, and they are better than you. And the Abused Partner is the responsible one, not shittalking the other Party in front of the Kids, while the abuser does so to no Limit.

Jaymite · 2020-11-04T10:34:50+00:00

My ex husband said he wanted kids when we got together. Used it as an excuse to guilt me into changing my last name to his. Then when we got married suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted kids. He said I wasn't good enough to look after them and used it like a carrot on a stick. Eventually he 'let' me have a baby and it turned out he was useless. Having my son helped me realise I needed to leave him and we've been split for over 3 years now

friesntheskies · 2020-11-04T11:55:09+00:00

My son is 2 months old and I’m starting to feel like my child’s father did it on purpose. Even tho he did ask me to get an abortion I think he knew I would go through with the pregnancy. He tried to make me feel bad for having him but then tell me he loved the name I picked out for him because it sounded like his name.

If I’d tell him I was putting him on child support he would yell at me and say he wished he never met me and that he wanted nothing to do with me or him and then call me late at night and act interested in meeting him and then ghost me the next day. He did this so much I had to change my number and just file with no contact. I’m still mentally fucked up from this.

straighthairgreece · 2020-11-04T23:16:07+00:00

OMG, this dude I dated once admitted to me that his friend impregnated his girlfriend on purpose. When I asked why, he said it's because he knew be couldn't do better and didn't want her to leave! He than proceeded to tell me that he thought of doing that as well before with an ex! Left his ass the next day 🤮🤮.

Lasi22998877 · 2020-11-04T10:46:29+00:00

Im bisexual and are all guys like this?? it makes me wanna stick to girls only

thinksimasparetire · 2020-11-04T23:02:31+00:00

It’s even worse when you learn it through experience... and it’s amazing how much abuse men can get away with within the context of a relationship.

sekhmetwisdom · 2020-11-06T04:16:53+00:00

It is a code they uphold to keep us in place ..Patriarchy is insidious in every single turn of life..It smothers EVERYTHING .IT MUST BE SMASHED

kalina95 · 2020-11-04T04:28:46+00:00

This is not new information.

Title	Anyone else notice this?
Author	muniherbs
Upvotes	1123
Comments	126
Date	November 4, 2020 3:41 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jnphe1/anyone_else_notice_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-notice-this.326897 https://theredarchive.com/post/326897

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