I should really stop lurking around. From a post about age gap relashionships and how they aren't weird. Yes they are.

ello-motto · 2021-04-11T22:40:07+00:00

Funny how the comment thinks "Why wouldn't the 45 year old want to date a young girl in her prime?" and not "Why would a young girl in her prime want to date a dusty saggy balled wrinkly old man instead of a guy in his athletic peak with a full hairline her own age".

fancypantsdance92 · 2021-04-11T22:22:19+00:00

I habitually attract younger men but that does not mean I want to date them. I have travelled, I have done so many things in my life. I want an equal, not a bitch boy who's only with me because he's in awe of me. And this is just it - they don't want an equal. They want someone who worships them 🤢

_differentmentality_ · 2021-04-11T22:59:02+00:00

“Every 20 year old girl on the planet who dates a guy more than 10 year older than them is convinced it’s because they’re so mature and sophisticated for their age. They’re deluding themselves. It’s because they’re bearable to be around, maybe even easy to manipulate and decent sex.” Based as fuck my man. I cannot emphasize this enough to women my age who date older men, if he wanted a sophisticated and mature person he would date a woman his own age. Stop being solipsistic and question what’s the real reason a man is comfortable dating someone much younger than him.

kerjkernf · 2021-04-11T23:24:40+00:00

It's so weird how "love" becomes a justification for anything. I'm beginning to question whether love is a myth created by patriarchy based on trauma bonding. Now that I think about it, all of the men I have truly "loved" were abusive or I barely knew them:

I was "in love" at 20- he was 14 years older, barely knew him well. I was "in love" with a guy I barely knew, who I had travelled with and was consistently dismissive and emotionally abusive. I also quickly "fell in love" with a guy who slept with my roommate. Recently, I "fell in love" with a guy who love bombed me and shows every sign of being a narcissistic psychopath.

I don't want to fall in love with anyone else anytime soon. I'd rather be rich, thx.

thegenuinedarkfly · 2021-04-12T00:34:16+00:00

I was on a sub yesterday where a woman in her 20s was talking about not being able to find an equal value partner her age. She was 25 I think and was very successful.

Most of the advice was for her to seek out a man in his 40s! I replied “ew” and got called an ageist bigot. 😂

shinyjewels · 2021-04-11T22:19:45+00:00

The thing is the only people who encourage large age gap relationships are men who date young women (and the young women themselves). So, the people who would directly benefit from a large age gap. Tons and tons of women have lived the experience and warn against it (including me) for a reason.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-04-11T23:43:14+00:00

People also used to say that it's not anyone's business if a man hits his wife 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hostileovaries · 2021-04-12T00:05:04+00:00

I always think it's interesting how in the beginning it was just about age gaps. Then the commenters coming to defend it specifically older men dating younger women. Would they feel the same if it were an older woman with a younger man? How would they feel if their 18 year old sons got married to a 47 year old woman? (which is still gross imho) But somehow I think they'd be less ok with it

helppleasekk · 2021-04-11T22:50:08+00:00

The scrote talking about divorce percentages for huge age gap relationships like he has some kind of point. An old man marrying a teenager means that girl wasn't able to establish an education, career or life that would give her any kind of important life experiences. Of course the divorce percentage is small. The point is to trap a young girl in marriage and groom her so her life revolves around him. They try to play dumb and they hate FDS because we see through all their bullshit.

pinkcityscape · 2021-04-11T22:48:51+00:00

I don’t have anything in common with a man twice my age. It wouldn’t be beneficial to me in any way. My limit is 30 and even then I’m being generous because a lot of these guys start expiring by 32 now...

lansburysoda · 2021-04-12T00:48:07+00:00

I feel really bad for all the young women who think these men want them for their youth and beauty. You’ll be just as, if not more beautiful at 25. You just won’t be easily manipulated like you were at 18. Your brain doesn’t stop developing until your mid-20s. When you’re 18 you think you know everything. In hindsight it will all be crystal clear.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-04-11T22:51:59+00:00

I’ve seen with my parents that a huge age difference leads to an irreconcilable power balance. Especially when one of the partners was very young (before 25-30).

My mom and dad were forced to marry each other at 19 and 39. It was more a parent child relationship with a lot of codependency going on.

Even when both parties mean well, this is not something that works out in a healthy way 99.9% of the time.

ItsFreezen · 2021-04-12T00:35:29+00:00

Why would a young women date a man who can't keep up with her??? And playing video games and watching porn is not "life experience" okay.

Turbulent-Leave9596 · 2021-04-12T00:49:09+00:00

I was a fresh 22 and my daughter’s father was 31 nearly 32. I thought I was soooo mature until the lies and manipulation started. It was an ugly and emotionally abusive relationship that ended when I found out I was pregnant. Conveniently enough, that’s when I also found out about his family. The military is such a wonderful opportunity for people to have entirely complete double lives (pre-social media).

amhran_oiche · 2021-04-12T00:05:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BiscuitWoof · 2021-04-12T01:00:43+00:00

‘Full of life’ = doesn’t have the life experience to know he’s a used up washed up hit the wall loser who has never made it, and will never make it

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-04-12T02:38:52+00:00

I have a bunch of screenshots taken today of examples of age-gap relationships that haven't worked. Once I sort out an imgur account I'll link them.

A 33yo man woke up his 26yo wife at 4am and said he wanted a divorce. Known each other 6 years, married 3.

A 46yo man tells his 25yo wife he wants a divorce. He threatens violence if she doesn't agree. She's 5 months pregnant. Known each other and married 6 years.

A 22yo womans 36yo boyfriend buys a sex doll. They have sex once a month, he fucks the doll more frequently. They've been dating 3 years.

34yo alcoholic man abuses his 26yo girlfriend - they've been dating 5 months.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-11T22:23:57+00:00

They do it because women their own age know they are LVM.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-04-11T22:14:32+00:00

Of course we all know that legal = ethical, and nothing terrible has ever been legal.

lansburysoda · 2021-04-12T00:44:53+00:00

We need to stop normalizing everything

CatSweets · 2021-04-12T01:27:29+00:00

Then by the time they're 30, they'll be changing their husband's diapers

gutsandgorey · 2021-04-11T22:32:13+00:00

I'm 23 years old. Men over 30 are gross lol. Their testosterone drops 1% every year thereafter. They've hit the wall!

NurseBubbleGum · 2021-04-12T03:14:24+00:00

Who are all these young girls finding this attractive? When I was 18 and 19, older men creeped me out. If they looked me up and down or made sexually suggestive glances, it made me feel like shit. I was literally still like a child. 🥴

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-04-11T22:21:25+00:00

Abusive men can come in all age differences. But the ones who did the most damage? The two who were 20+ years older than me.

I met one while still grieving the death of my fiance over a year later. I excused a lot of his behavior ("he was there for me when I was crying, how can he be a bad person?" "Nobody is perfect" Etc)

Dude lied about being married. Cried about me leaving him when I found out. I stayed a while because 🤡🤡🤡

I'm an adult. Yes. Should I have been dating? No. Was I an idiot? Yes. It doesn't change how skeevy and emotionally manipulative these older men are.

I know there's some genuine happy age gap couples out there, married decades. But let's not kid ourselves about the majority of these types of relationships. Those happy, healthy couples are the exception, not the norm. And how many of those women - how much shit do they put up with, for the guy's sake?

I was in my mid 30's and thought I knew better. If you're younger and think this is healthy, you have no idea what hell is waiting for you later down the road.

Daciana_Days · 2021-04-12T02:23:32+00:00

I've had my share of age-gap relationships (always older dudes :/) and now I have stepped back and grown up a lot I can confidently say no grown up man of value should have anything in common with a 18yr/20yr old just out of high school or college. If you are 30+ and you are picking barely legal young adults to date, you need to grow tf up.

sveji- · 2021-04-12T05:48:29+00:00

The "she's finally 18" crowd is disgusting

ladylabrys · 2021-04-12T07:18:11+00:00

Men who date way younger women don't want an equal partner they want a pet.

It's disgusting and it's something many truly do not understand until they are older themself and see just how naïve and vulnerable 18-24 year olds are.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-04-12T11:53:08+00:00

Theses scrotes are in for a huge disappointment when they realize that most of the Gen Z girls they’re lusting after have grown up extremely familiar with the concept of grooming. They can also describe predatory behaviors, and can easily recognize abuse in a relationship. The way we educate our girls has changed. I only wish I was as educated about these things when I was their age.

I’ve spent a lot of time around teenage girls lately. One of the most common words they use to describe older men is “creepy.”

Now that young women have their own careers and their own paychecks, the thought of dating an older man is no longer intriguing or enchanting, it’s just gross. What could an older man offer these girls that they don’t already have?

So yeah. These nasty ass middle aged men are in for a disappointment when they hit on a 19 girl and the first thing she says is “Ew!”

Apricot_Ibex · 2021-04-12T05:36:49+00:00

They want sooo desperately to normalize this shit. I was stalked by old scrotes throughout college, and I was still underage as a freshman, and that only spurred them on more. Mostly creepy men around 40, some of whom were married with kids. Nothing sOpHiStIcAtEd about them, and their life “experience”, if you could even call it that, only served to make them more manipulative.

At least 2 of them tried to conceal their real age, though it was obvious they were lying. Looked like Steve Buscemi saying “how do you do, fellow kids?” Older men are NOT more attractive. These women need prescription glasses and self-esteem.

Older men are more likely to be controlling, bossy, egotistical, and set in their ways. They are looking to be catered to and call all the shots and are extremely vindictive when rejected, even the married ones harassing classmates and coworkers.

I know that can describe all men, but older men who insist on a huge age gap often have personality disorders. Tons of Reddit horror stories are posted on relationship subs every day by women stuck in abusive age gap relationships by men who have purposefully targeted them.

Resorting to dating old men doesn’t solve the dilemma of shitty men- they’re just as shitty, just with extra years of practice at lying, cheating, gaslighting, and having someone else clean up all their messes. They even like to set curfews for their child brides. They want young women to wither at home playing tradwife. Young women who feel a lack of affection and attention in their lives mistake this weird behavior for love and “fatherly” (eww) concern. It’s not.

AnniaT · 2021-04-11T23:10:36+00:00

That woman getting mad at that guy's negative comment about age gap relationships lol A 29 year old meeting a 40 something year old man at that age and dating him is not the same as a 19 year old dating a man over their thirties or more.

I was in a age gap relationship that luckily was good and I have a friend in his 40s that married a 20 year old girl and even so I can fully say it's not normal for men at these ages to be with barely legal teenage girls. It's gross and often predatory.

deep_faked_beans · 2021-04-12T11:06:44+00:00

I swear, is the only comeback they have 'you're jealous' or 'you're insecure'? Like you can't actually just think this stuff is gross. I'm 21, and men 28+ still seem like older adults to me, I couldn't imagine one being interested in me and not being a predator. I'll bet anything all the people bothered by your comments are older men dating/looking to date young women, or young women doing the opposite. There's a saying 'only a hit pigeon flaps'.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-04-12T03:23:57+00:00

“I’m 23 and my partner is 49... and we’ve been together four years and we’re soooooo happy!” said the larping scrote boi. 😂

Any 23 year old woman with a 49 year old since she was 19 was fleeing an abusive household and/or childhood poverty. But yeah, LVMs can pat themselves on the backs for being “attractive” to a 19-year-old.

littlepip38042 · 2021-04-12T12:14:18+00:00

I messed around with a 43 year old man when I was 18, 19. I thought it was great--I really felt like age didn't matter and felt like I was in control. But I wasn't even remotely mature enough to be with that man.

After a year he was arrested for having sex with an underaged girl and viewing underaged porn.

AyemHerself · 2021-04-12T00:50:02+00:00

I would love to save that second comment in the first screenshot for all of FDS' critics.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-04-12T09:48:54+00:00

I read that as, "Yes, I'm a vampire and suck the life force out of younger women to make myself feel rejuvenated. All men do that and should."

Sick fucks.

imarriedmybookshelf · 2021-04-12T10:59:24+00:00

I am annoyed with this 'oh even if the age gap is revoltingly large we should let them be bc theyre both legal and some bs bs". Its not JUST ABOUT being both legal or consenting, its what occurred between them that made the more vulnerable one consent to this. What sort of brainwashing and grooming was done bec there is no way in hell 19 and 45 are compatible. Not even 22 and 50. What the actually hell do people that far apart from each other talk about and build together? Thats not a partnership, thats predatory.

This 'as long as theyre happy and im not judging' bs should stop. In some instances its wrong to judge but they should learn to differentiate genuine concern for someones safety and being nitpicky and nosy

relationship_reddit · 2021-04-12T16:25:11+00:00

I am so exhausted from seeing people defend teenage girls dating grandpa scrotes. How could you possibly think a middle-aged man dating a 17 year old = gross and predatory, but the day she turns 18, everything is cool as long as it's "consensual"?

I feel so bad for the women too, wasting what should be the most carefree time of their lives on some wrinkly, balding old man. Of course the predatory old scrotes would be happy. Nobody is questioning that part.

aquietsword · 2021-04-12T11:13:55+00:00

I'm sure if the gender swapped version was as commonplace, these scrotes would sing a more whinny tune.

ALISHAISHERE123 · 2021-04-12T02:01:52+00:00

Oh god what is that sub?

Protoetype · 2021-04-12T04:39:45+00:00

I'm in my 30's. I've dated men (boys) in their 20's. I've learned my lesson, they're simply stupid. Not unintelligent, they simply lack knowledge. Having to correct and teach them every time they open their mouth is a chore. Yeah, honey, I bet I'm interesting... *sigh*

I couldn't bring myself to use those hard bodies even if they follow me around like a sweet lil puppy.

Sallou9 · 2021-04-18T05:58:49+00:00

Funny how rare it is for 45 year old women to date 18 year old males. Funny how those 18 year old men don't want 45yr old women for all that "life experience".

The commenters were taking great offence. I never ever judge an 18 yr old girl for being with a 40 yr old man. Shes a kid, excited, thinks shes mature, and feels validated. Any 40yr old man who gets with an 18yrold girl is a scumbag. End of.

Title	I should really stop lurking around. From a post about age gap relashionships and how they aren't weird. Yes they are.
Author	Mcccy
Upvotes	438
Comments	87
Date	April 11, 2021 10:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mp0imm/i_should_really_stop_lurking_around_from_a_post/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-should-really-stop-lurking-around-from-a-post.1188909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188909

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