This is what we mean when we say don't go 50/50. You'll be doing 100% of the childrearing while he's at work and he will expect you to give up your savings as well.

pinkgirly111 · 2022-01-19T00:58:03+00:00

what a cheap bastard. i can’t read these anymore.

lansburysoda · 2022-01-19T00:58:19+00:00

There’s no “his money” when one parent is the breadwinner and the other is the child rearer. There is only “our money.” My grandmothers would have been SHOCKED by this question. This shit would be almost unheard of in the 1950s. This is exploitation and financial abuse.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-01-19T00:57:39+00:00

This is becoming beyond ridiculous now. How on earth could anyone think this is equitable when you have grown and birthed a whole child?

Men can't give birth so if they want to propagate their stupid DNA legacy then they need to PAY FOR IT.

effypom · 2022-01-19T01:11:26+00:00

Wow. And she’s looking after his baby??? Tell me your husband has no respect for you without telling me your husband has no respect for you.

Jandi18 · 2022-01-19T01:01:16+00:00

Don’t you love when men ask for 1950’s wife + modern day woman. The audacity of men! This man hates his wife, she should divorce him and be a single mom because she is already one.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-19T00:37:28+00:00

No. That’s an emergency fund.

If he pushes, then I guess he’s moving by himself. Have fun paying for all the moving expenses plus child support.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-19T01:08:29+00:00

Men's narcissism and societal gaslighting has become insane.

They have the delusions that modern women can work 8 hours then come home and pull another 8 hours out of thin air to do 100% of the housework and childrearing, then 2 hours to be a porn star, then actually get refreshing sleep. Not to mention time for self-care to be a supermodel trophy wife, plus commute to work, plus grocery shopping, keeping up friendships so hubby can just swan along to birthdays, dinners and BBQ's like King Dick.

And now we're supposed to pay all our own expenses plus half his expenses on NO INCOME.

And we believe it too.

We believe the insanity in his head, and we put it into our own heads.

That's the definition of being a victim of narcissistic abuse.

feministcutie · 2022-01-19T04:47:09+00:00

What did I just read? Imagine being a stay at home mother and still having to pay the bills like what? At this point you might as well just take your baby and go be a single mother. What value does the man add?

throwaway715123 · 2022-01-19T00:44:53+00:00

How could any woman with a partner who isn't generous with her think he loves her? Isn't common sense that we are generous on things or people we love? Ofc I am not saying all it takes to show love is by spending money on you, but I would consider that the first step. If a man is cheap with me, I don't need to dig any further to know that he doesn't love me.

DogsNotHumans · 2022-01-19T03:41:38+00:00

God, this makes me SO angry. Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest, most exhausting, non-stop jobs there is. The disgusting audacity of this loser expecting money on top of everything she is doing for him and their child. If she decided to leave, he’d be paying thousands for child care and a housekeeper. Fuck this entirely.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2022-01-19T06:07:58+00:00

My best friend is in a financially abusive relationship like this 😩 well, it's all around abusive and I want her to leave him so badly. He gives her an allowance, watches her account like a hawk and doesn't give her access to the main bank account with his salary in it. I keep telling her to leave him, to kick him out, and she won't 😞 she knows she should but doesn't believe she can. I'm sorry, I just needed to get this out. My heart breaks for her.

spicyspa · 2022-01-19T01:15:59+00:00

Why oh why? They're his kids too. They should have a joint account for pooled expenses and separate accounts for each other.

misandryisnotreal · 2022-01-19T06:24:35+00:00

We are SO CLOSE to a generation filled with women who fully understand and believe that they don’t have to put up with this bullshit. SO close, but that doesn’t make reading about this type of LITERAL ABUSE any easier.

ready2leav · 2022-01-19T01:39:37+00:00

I just wanna know the responses this post got

drowsypillowprincess · 2022-01-19T03:13:33+00:00

Parenting an infant is a full time job. Jfc. This is why more and more women are becoming single mothers by choice. Same amount of responsibility but less burden because they don’t have to appease a narcissistic manchild.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-19T07:58:13+00:00

fair??? wtf? this word should be scratched from your vocabulary! is it fair that women have been seen as 2nd class citizens by men for thousands of years? so... why do women forget this? I will never be 50-50. I was and I think he resented me for it, secretly hated it. what is the man in question work overtime for if not for the woman he made to stay at home with the kid he sired? is he working double to sustain a mistress or an additional shit hobby like buying more cars? let the man work for the dream, and let the dream be his wife and the kid. otherwise, he will find something to spend money on, I am sure! fair or equal does not exist in a patriarchal society. we are not equal to men. we strive to be seen as equal before the law but here we are, reading some 50-50 plea from an overworked, overburdened wife. he should be the one to kiss her feet for agreeing to stay with the child instead of making 55k herself. he should be paying her! this woman has it all wrong!

smart-tart23 · 2022-01-19T03:18:45+00:00

NAH SIS

queeninprogress · 2022-01-19T08:21:58+00:00

Motherhood is the most important job they say...until it's time to be financially compensated for it of course. No it's NOT fair to ask her to set herself back later in life by damaging her ability to create savings for herself all while ignoring all the unpaid labour she's done for both their sakes. This is why women are on average poorer. Not because we work less or not as hard, but because women's labour is not seen as real work and given actual respect. Childcare is work. Cleaning is work. Cooking is work.

quasarbar · 2022-01-19T08:58:53+00:00

OMG WTAF?

If that's how her POS husband thinks he needs to realize that he should start paying her half the value of her labor caring for his child and tending his home. Including overtime for every minute over eight hours a day, and back pay for at least the last eleven months.

Better yet, he should start paying her alimony and child support.

SearchLightsInc · 2022-01-19T11:33:59+00:00

No savings makes it less likely she can leave him. It’s tactical.

tomaito_tomarto · 2022-01-19T02:13:19+00:00

He knows what he's doing. He's lining her up to be in a position where she's financially dependent on him and has no other options than to go along with what he wants. He wants the dynamic where she's dependent on him because he thinks it'll make her subordinate to him. These kinds of men don't want an equal life partner, they want an employee.

That's the future that awaits all of us if we don't hold out for the right men. Fuck that for a joke, I'd rather be single.

SayNad · 2022-01-19T10:32:35+00:00

At this point women should realize if you lead your relationship with 50/50 - your entire relationship will be about that bloody 50/50. When you are so concerned about making everything "fair" - that will be the main thing you worry about 24/7.

And one day you will wake up and realize that relationship isn't enjoyable anymore - it is just stress after stress about making everything "fair".

There's a reason why HVM husbands reject 50/50 even when their wives work full time - they don't want the unnecessary stress in their relationship. Being a full on provider and taking care of everything is a freedom to them, in a way. Happy wife happy life - and it is way easier to get that when they take care of everything.

JessyJK · 2022-01-19T10:17:04+00:00

This made me SO angry for her!

I was in a similar situation - well not really but similar. My ex expected me to pay for my own expenses and our child's plus some communal ones.. When I had no income (was a stay at home mom) . And he worked. And I just accepted it because I was young (age gap relationship) and thought it was normal.

Never again!!

_mooness · 2022-01-19T15:51:16+00:00

The modern man is completely debased. He has lost his integrity, morality, and humanity. They are weak in character.

capresesalad1985 · 2022-01-19T14:17:28+00:00

Um no. In the time I’ve been dating my bf I lost my job and was really struggling to find a new job that was a good fit. I found a job, but I wouldn’t get my first paycheck until a month after my unemployment ran out. My bf covered all my expenses that month, rent, food, bills ect. No questions asked. He said what sort of man was he if he couldn’t take care of me when I needed assistance. HVM’s don’t ever want to see you stress.

thatshadywitch · 2022-01-19T11:43:33+00:00

If a man like this isn't even willing to pay, what's his use exactly? 🤷‍♀️ Drop him, sis.

vatellechef · 2022-01-19T16:31:19+00:00

Oh man, I don’t want to step into the “conservative old school wifey” territory (which has big delusions and pitfalls as the FDS community is well aware of), but “my husband is asking to share moving expenses”….is just……is just sad, man

extraodi · 2022-01-19T20:05:22+00:00

That’s why I don’t do “partnerships” and for what?! He literally wants her savings! I’d walk.

Tharwaum · 2022-01-19T14:56:19+00:00

Oh yeah it’s totally fair! Your husband is definitely not cruel! Is that what she wants to hear?

esthermaniii · 2022-01-30T06:46:03+00:00

Domestic labour is labour. So she’s meant to work double to make his load easier, when he should actually be paying all the bills

Title	This is what we mean when we say don't go 50/50. You'll be doing 100% of the childrearing while he's at work and he will expect you to give up your savings as well.
Author	Reasonable-Slice-827
Upvotes	1021
Comments	80
Date	January 18, 2022 11:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s7bhuw/this_is_what_we_mean_when_we_say_dont_go_5050/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-what-we-mean-when-we-say-dont-go-5050.1096822 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096822

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