This shit. (Xpost /r/rage)

RelentlesslyDead · 2014-10-30T10:54:42+00:00

Someone pointed out some time ago that this is a perfect example of the centuries old notion that men are the actors and women are the ones acted upon. If it was a male teacher, he would have been the one to pursue the sexual relationship with his female student. Meanwhile, a female teacher is not at fault in the reversed situation because would be assumed that the male student decided to pursue the sexual relationship. It's as if the female never wanted to have a sexual relationship; the male always has to persuade her to.

Men are believed to be the deciders of society, which is largely why this type of double standard exists.

*Edited for clarity.

spilot · 2014-10-30T15:28:52+00:00

Just a bit of prespective. Slow Thursday. http://imgur.com/BWpOtjk

Ethanol_Based_Life · 2014-10-30T13:16:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chezza96 · 2014-10-30T10:20:38+00:00

at which point we reverse the genders....

AKnightAlone · 2014-10-30T12:34:07+00:00

This pisses me off only because I think people should be neutral on either side. Girl or guy, the only thing wrong here is potential abuse of a person in a position of authority. The teacher should no longer be able to teach. That's all there is to it. There's no criminal act.

betweentwosuns · 2014-10-30T13:30:26+00:00

I agree with feminists: there is a culture where rape is celebrated and victims are blamed. It's just not the one they talk about.

Ihaveanotheridentity · 2014-10-30T14:05:47+00:00

This pisses me off to no end. Well, not that bad, but it makes you think. I have a unique situation that might open someone's mind. I'm gay. I was raped by a very attractive man when I was about 14. It's the exact situation. I have bragging rights, he has the jail time. But people were outraged by this, because he was a man. If it had been this woman (who I am NOT attracted to), I believe people would STILL think that I was not a victim.

doubledingdong · 2014-10-30T16:15:47+00:00

Also, that is possibly the most attractive photo of the teacher. I googled her name and she is barely above average in her looks. I'm not saying this because I enjoy being critical of peoples' appearance, but because it is interesting that this particular photo is used in this situation (describing the charges of an alleged rapist).

To me, it almost begs the reader to think "Damn! Lucky kid!" as opposed to something more appropriate.

SenorDing_Dong · 2014-10-30T16:24:53+00:00

It's a collective attitude like this that keeps male rape from being taken seriously. The same people saying, What's he complaining about? He got laid, didn't he? are probably also the ones complaining when a female rapist doesn't see jail time (or enough jail time).

Sexism more often than not comes from within the gender, and this is no exception, so it's up to men who know better than to perpetuate such an ignorant point of view to educate the others.

burrowing · 2014-10-30T16:53:33+00:00

i don't know what is wrong with people that teachers preying on kids, regardless of gender, is ok. let alone AWESOME. I seriously don't understand it.

Unenjoyed · 2014-10-30T16:42:22+00:00

The commenter should probably never have a leadership role in the supervision of children (people at or less than high school age). Probably young adults, too.

spongemonster · 2014-10-30T20:49:55+00:00

Every time I see this I can't help but think of this video.

regularbowls · 2014-10-30T21:42:03+00:00

Not saying this is ok at all, but she's pretty attractive.

ztsmart · 2014-10-30T13:47:57+00:00

Obviously this is a double standard and the people making those comments are disgusting

...but daaaaaaaaaaaaaymn

2014-10-30T17:48:29+00:00

Regardless of age and gender, teachers and professors should not have sex with their students.

jostler57 · 2014-10-30T14:22:30+00:00

Sounds like kids talking.

gmnitsua · 2014-10-30T17:27:23+00:00

In my state, this would not have been rape. Which I agree with. I was having sex at age 16. However, it is a felony for an educator to carry on illicit relationships with students or former students, which I also agree with. She should be in jail, but personally I don't see their age difference factoring much into the conscious decisions of a hormonal teenager. She should have known better, though.

c_anderson1390 · 2014-10-30T18:47:46+00:00

Wonder what the comments would have been if she'd been ugly, not so much 'jealousy' I'd imagine.

jaheiner · 2014-10-30T19:55:17+00:00

Yeah, if that was a very attractive 24 year old male teacher fucking his 16 year old female student I wonder if they'd change their tune.... Oh wait, it's not the same at all cause only women can be victims.

The fact of the matter is that whether the underage person enjoyed the encounter or not, it is illegal. Theres plenty of examples of underage females participating in completely consensual sex with adult males. Those men go to Jail because IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO FUCK A MINOR REGARDLESS OF SEX.

MrKequc · 2014-10-30T20:34:42+00:00

Here you go

http://i.imgur.com/WV9bivI.jpg

SillyGoosey · 2014-10-30T21:01:33+00:00

A teacher at my old high school a few years ago was finally caught having sex with juniors and seniors within the school. All of the football kids for years and years would hook-up with her and no one said a word. She'd also go to Senior Week every year too hook-up with guys. She was caught after pictures were leaked that "may have" shown her in the act. She was never charged with anything because they couldn't prove it was her, but she resigned pretty quickly.

If that was a male teacher the whole state would have launched an investigation on the school and he would be thrown in prison for life.

Punch_in_the_nuggets · 2014-10-30T23:33:58+00:00

Why do we always have to jump to the conclusion that the student was a victim? (this applies regardless of gender)

slideforlife · 2014-10-30T13:15:36+00:00

the idiots have no clue. adults simply have no right to intrude on a minor's (below the age of consent) sexual development -especially a person in a position of authority.

drumstyx · 2014-10-30T14:27:54+00:00

In fairness, some of these cases are situations where a perfectly fine relationship was happening (as fine as student-teacher relationship can be...just in the sense that the 16/17 year old is realistically old enough to make the decision to sleep with a 23 year old), and either the kid gets mad and tells someone, or someone finds out and reports. Notice that it's statutory rape, not necessarily rape in the traditional sense.

RaxL · 2014-10-30T13:24:25+00:00

I still think this should be illegal, but the guy was choosing to have sex with her. I hardly think he was abused. And I don't pity him. And yes, I don't think it would be much different if the genders were reversed.

It's not like he was a small child.

thelirivalley · 2014-10-30T15:04:06+00:00

I'll admit that even knowing everything that I know it's still tough to look at this as objectively as an Older Male teacher having sex with a younger female student.

Every part of my being tells me to treat them exactly the same and yet I have to admit that there's a part of my that's trying to justify this...

I guess that's the finest point with any of these points and regardless of my doubts I know that if the roles were reversed I would be disgusted regardless of what they looked like and how they acted or who instigated it.

Jaykaykaykay · 2014-10-30T19:20:01+00:00

So people here seem to agree that the double standard is wrong, but which of the standards in the right one? It seems because people want to same the double standard they instantly go to how horrible this is for the boy etc but I'm not so sure thats the right way to go about it.

movingmyeye · 2014-10-30T20:15:34+00:00

Infuriating...

I_HaveAHat · 2014-10-30T20:25:37+00:00

I actually agree with them. The problem for me is the obvious double standard

anti_raysis · 2014-10-30T20:55:45+00:00

I'm going to go a bit against the grain here:

The chick is hot. No doubt. The sex was in all likelihood consensual. And, the 16 year old is probably not going to be having nightmares about it.

That being said. I don't think that lots of 16 year old girls that have sex with older guys are harmed by it. Lots of 16 year olds are attracted to people older than themselves.

But, all of that doesn't matter. We don't want our teachers having sex with our kids because it can be extremely destructive and anyone that is caught should indeed be punished, regardless of whether or not it was consenual

StopTop · 2014-10-30T21:12:58+00:00

Which would you choose?:

Women are treated the same as men in these situations and sent to prison and treated as a social pariah.
Men are treated the same as women in these situations and the act is not treated as an actual rape.

WordsNotToLiveBy · 2014-10-30T23:09:55+00:00

I'm torn here. I have opinions that fit both sides. I can only say that I skew based on each individual situation, factoring in who was specifically involved.

In some cases, the woman is the predator (especially in cases where the boy is prepubescent) and must be dealt accordingly. In other circumstances the male is mature enough and/or not the prey (and thus the feelings of the comments in the post.)

Allegations of rape is a serious thing, and must be judged on the nuances from case to case. Just blanketly treating all occurrences the same is an emotional and irrational reaction.

thedoze · 2014-10-31T00:24:35+00:00

even if you swapped the genders the teachers should go to jail... even if it was enjoyable consensual student doing the seduction intercourse... however the male teacher would be called a beast and rapist and damned.. while like always as long as the female teacher is pretty reduced sentences and victim blaming/shaming. if the female student had that heat turned on her there would be outraged feminists stomping about getting tears and spit on everything..... lets not act like feminists but be annoyed all the same.

ManhattanT5 · 2014-10-31T01:36:43+00:00

While this almost certainly didn't traumatize the victim, and while he likely knew what he wanted, a 16 year old certainly doesn't have the maturity to consent with regards to the risk of pregnancy or STDs.

Gawrsh · 2014-10-31T08:09:20+00:00

I know a guy who was abused sexually when younger. He's a mess when it comes to interacting socially, and have a number of problems he's been seeing a therapist for. He'd kept the incidents to himself until recently; considering it somehow to be a normal relationship.

All the people who say she's attractive and excuse her for that, are putting themselves in the victim's place and deciding that because they would engage sexually with the abuser, it's acceptable.

The thing is; people who sexually abuse minors do so because they like to have sex with minors, and would not consider the people talking about how lucky the victim is, to be sexually attractive; because those people are not a vulnerable minor.

So someone saying: "it's acceptable because I'd have sex with her", is missing the issue of whether the victim should have had sex with her, because the victim is a minor, and is being preyed upon because of that fact.

Elvick · 2014-10-31T12:56:47+00:00

It's either wrong to enter into a sexual relationship with underage kids or it's not.

One can argue that boys "of course" want it... but I think that attitude is why it's so easy for women to take advantage of underage teens. Puberty puts sex on the brain, yeah that's true. But isn't that more of a cause for alarm than a "get out of statutory rape free" card?

Honestly, how hard would it be to manipulate someone who is going through sexual development and has yet to mature mentally? Seems like it'd be an easy target to me.

I don't feel any adults should sleep with any underage kids, but that's another topic all together.

Girls tend to be more thoughtful when choosing their partners and base it on emotion. And girls mature faster both physically and mentally. So why we treat them like the one's too stupid to make a sexual decision is beyond me. They at least have reasons other than "SEX, SEX SEEEEEEEEEX" like most boys would.

I don't know. This topic bugs me. Just society further distancing itself from male victims by acting like they're all totally ready and totally want it because of course.

Hydoxis · 2014-10-31T14:12:16+00:00

Never mind all of the "biological" and "evolutionary" mess IMO. Fact of the matter is that feminists and people of the likes rally for equality among the sexes, and for her to face criminal prosecution for the crime of statutory rape in comparison to that of a man for the same offense is only right. This is what "feminists" have always wanted. Equality wouldn't be truly equal if it were solely for their advantage.

Unless, of course, women start adopting gender roles of the olden days where both men and women knew their places in society based upon their abilities to contribute (with history strongly supporting the fact it is men who have and will always do the most), then perhaps things of this nature can be handled within better reason. But until then, "equality" is all the reason that is needed.

tuckerdg · 2014-10-30T13:27:27+00:00

I mean I think at the age of 16 you know what you're doing regardless of gender

patio87 · 2014-10-30T18:20:50+00:00

I don't know a single guy that wouldn't have wanted this to happen to them. I was not a vulnerable child when I was 16. And most likely this guy wasn't either, someone found out and reported it. All of these cases should be investigated on a case by case basis. This is not rape.

just4thismovie · 2014-10-30T13:55:56+00:00

The teacher is charged and probably will be found guilty (hopefully) these comments are from fellow men that thinks the victims are gay because they speak up and wished they had the that kind of teacher when they were in high school who is helping here the idea that only men can be rapist? This shit makes mad. And adult in general not matter the sex of the perpetrator or victims still is a crime and affects negatively in both cases. She should be punish as hard as a male teacher in the same position would be.

wlxr · 2014-10-31T01:30:38+00:00

Men who think this way are men like my father, my uncle, and every other person I've met who is a complete moron.

Their only idea for the reason of living is sex. My Dad has said to me many times in the past "Son the only reason for living is to have sex." The honest truth is I'm under the impression that he evolved to think this way. I knew two men who never stopped talking about sex, and to be realistic they are the men that most feminists talk about objectifying women. Is there something inherently wrong with them thinking about women like this? I don't think so, because they are a minority. A small segment of the population of men. To be completely honest if most men were like them, I would agree with feminists about men objectifying women, they however are not. They congregate. They are a loud minority. They hang out together, probably for two reasons:

If your only goal in life is sex, you are a pretty boring person.
People hang out with those of like mind.

In one instance I was called gay because I chose against sleeping with a woman. The only explanation is I like penis ⁱⁿ ^their ^{^{^defense}} ^{^{^I}} ^{^{^do}} ^{^{^like}} ^{^{^penis;}} ^{^{^{^my}}} ^{^{^{^penis.}}}

The greatest irony is that the men who objectify women wish that women would do the same for them. So if a feminist does think a man is objectifying women, and thinks thats somehow a bad thing, jokes on them. Those men wish they were viewed that way. To put it a better way, it would be like me wishing I was viewed as smart, and viewing women as smart, and then having this group of people tell me that I shouldn't do that. How am I to understand anything different? Its the meaning of life as far as I can see it.

T0neyDanza · 2014-10-30T14:34:59+00:00

http://cdn2.everyjoe.com/wp-content/gallery/megan-mahoney/megan-mahoney-photos-1.jpg

SamGill · 2014-10-31T05:21:29+00:00

if only this happened to me when i was a school kid.

willmaster123 · 2014-10-30T15:57:08+00:00

To be fair, she was 24 years old, not some creepy 40 year old married teacher who forces students to have sex with her after school.

When I was 17 I dated a 21 year old, the age difference is not that much different here. It's still pretty fucked up, but I don't think she should go to prison considering her age.

GQMike · 2014-10-30T11:32:09+00:00

http://imgur.com/2X6GyzA

angel_pantsu · 2014-10-30T13:50:20+00:00

That is so fucking gross Seriously as a female planning on having a kid(preferably a boy) this is disgusting. I can't imagine trusting my son into the hands of a teacher and while the poor thing is going through self identification issues getting traumatized like that. He'd end up hating women or being terrified of them. Sex doesn't make you a man. Neither does rape. Military training, university and self discipline does. Girlfriends, video games and that stuff is pointless.

sizzletron · 2014-10-30T17:44:07+00:00

Women are SO desirable...

01zerrz · 2014-10-30T21:19:42+00:00

I would have liked all those comments. All very fair points.

SkiLLRoiDz · 2014-10-30T15:18:11+00:00

I mean you have to admit that it's not rape. It may be illegal because he's not 18, but he is having sex with consent. Tell me one straight high school student that wouldn't have lots of sex with their teacher if they could... It's always that the parents find out and freak out and call the cops.

I for one, wish a teacher would've raped me 30 times.

ISawJLawsBoobs · 2014-10-30T11:02:16+00:00

So are we pretending we're mad because he was "victimized" here or being pissed because if a 24-year-old male teacher had consensual sex with a 16-year-old student, he'd be dead before he got to prison?

Gay_For_Gary_Oldman · 2014-10-30T13:15:51+00:00

Okay. Here's my stance. Women want to highlighy how men and women unfairly hold different power structures in society.

Assuming that that is true, and that it is the power structure of a young versus adult person which is the real harm in these cases, then how in the fuck is a 24 year old woman and a 16 year old boy an abuse of power?

Yes if we reverse the genders its obviously a different reaction, but has it occurred to anyone that that is because as a male, that 16year old boy is less likely to be victimised by power imbalance from a woman?

Shit, I'm with the commenters, I cant see a downside for the lad.

movingmyeye · 2014-10-30T17:02:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DrDickBonerman · 2014-10-30T13:21:23+00:00

Listen to all of you stupid dumbasses.

Type	Example	Response	My thoughts
Headline/Article Language	Math teacher arrested on wedding day for allegedly raping 16-year-old student	Perfectly acceptable to call it rape.	The article goes on do say that it was not forcible but still falls under statutory rape. Seems reasonable to me.
Comment	She was asking for it. I bet she enjoyed it.	Condemned	Unless the minor makes a statement, it's just speculation.
Comment	Where were the hot teachers like that when I was in school?	Non-existent	I don't think I've ever actually seen this in the wild. Irrelevant, but ought to be an acceptable statement to make.
Comment	She's probably a lesbian	Condemned	Speculative; disrespectful to the victim and to lesbians.
Comment	She should be punched in the pussy 30 times a day	Non-existent	I don't really need to say anything here, do I?

Type	Example	Response	My thoughts
Headline/Article Language	Elyse Cromwell, New Jersey Teacher, Accused Of Having Sex With 14-Year-Old Homeroom Student	Standard Operating Procedure.	Sex for one, rape for the other. Pretty clear double standard. You'll find exceptions on both sides but the pattern is overwhelmingly adult men rape, adult women just have sex.
Comment	He pursued her. He was asking for it. Lucky dog.	Cheered on. Used as justification.	You can advocate for the female version to be as accepted as this is, but you might not like the response, shitlord.
Comment	Where were the hot teachers like this when I was in school?	Commonly accepted	Niiiiice. Right? Yeah...
Comment	He's probably gay	Goes without comment.	Still disrespectful to all involved.
Comment	He should be punched in the nuts 30 times a day.	Goes without comment.	Still absurd.

Title	This shit. (Xpost /r/rage)
Author	ffngg
Upvotes	1100
Comments	231
Date	October 30, 2014 9:27 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2krma5/this_shit_xpost_rrage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-shit-xpost-rrage.994085 https://theredarchive.com/post/994085

Comments