CMV: There is absolutely nothing wrong with cold approaching a person of interest

fat_dick_jones · 2021-03-22T21:43:30+00:00

A lot of people who have never cold approached or been cold approached correctly here.

I’ve cold approached many many many girls, and only a handful were outright hostile rejections and that’s due to it being in a high density city.

The quality of women I get through cold approaching is leaps and bounds higher than other methods of meeting girls/women. In college I was able to date girls from the hottest sororities by asking them out in the library or Starbucks. I got my first girlfriend by cold approaching. I dated fit girls by cold approaching in the gym.

Many of the women here are broken people who have nervous breakdowns at the thought of another human speaking to them, but normal high quality girls understand what you’re doing and if they’re interested they will speak to you like a normal human being. You will get rejected a lot but you’re a man, act like one

passepar2t · 2021-03-22T17:00:54+00:00

extremely viable strategy in our modern-day society

Is it though? Cold approaches are very likely to fail, which means you'll have to approach a lot to make up for it.

Fit_Toe_329 · 2021-03-22T18:45:29+00:00

I'm fine with dudes approaching me in social settings and contexts.

A stranger in a public space? I just flip him off.

UnIntelligent_Local · 2021-03-22T17:07:32+00:00

Cold approaches result in rejection the majority of the time. No different than dating apps. Women have been very vocal about how much they hate the cold approaches. The only culturally appropriate solution for average men to date is to meet women through friends, family, and acquaintances.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-22T17:36:14+00:00

So long as you don't mind me telling you to fuck off, go for it lol

washington_breadstix · 2021-03-22T18:26:25+00:00

as long as you're able to read the room and immediately bale once you feel that the person is uncomfortable.

I suspect that this is the problematic part for most interwebs-dwelling "wannabe pick-up artist" types.

A lot of guys who struggle to get female attention probably imagine themselves just asking for a phone number / date out of the blue with no established context or indications of interest from the girl. Unless you're famous or a male model or something, your success rate with that method is almost certainly going to be 0.00%.

DetectivePure503 · 2021-03-22T18:59:59+00:00

Cold approaching is one of very few ways for the average man to get in contact with a woman. Since the average man isn’t an instagram influencer or photogenic enough to build an appealing OLD profile, cold approaching is the way to go, if you don‘t want to limit your options and chances to friends and coworkers only. Of course you‘ll get rejected 90% of the time. But if you are well prepared for an cold approach and don‘t go in like a weirdo or a shady PUA, you can start a humble conversation. And when you feel like the woman is uncomfortable or tells you that she already has a bf, you simply go your way and shoot your shot again another time. It can be hard to try a cold approach, but it’s important to learn to go out of your comfort zone and gain confidence in talking with strangers, because it’s unlikely to get approached by a woman and you won‘t have success in finding a partner or hook up.

litlebitterthrowaway · 2021-03-22T18:46:39+00:00

I think it all depends on how you approach them and the type of girl they are.

I mean as a female with chronic anxiety/ social anxiety I would absolutely despise having some random guy trying to chat me up, but to be fair I would also feel the exact same way if it was a woman. I just don’t want strangers to talk to me....

But someone like my mother for example, can just have a conversation with anyone and is super social. So she probably wouldn’t mind it, she would probably find it flattering if anything. But she’s always been charismatic and not afraid to approach people she’s interested in. Some women like being flirted with, some don’t.

the location is also important. Like a park vs a bar. A girl alone at a bar is someone who would most likely be comfortable with this type of approach (obviously) Vs a girl at a park just minding her own business and jogging or walking her dog. And obviously the conversation you start should be appropriate to the location. if you can make the conversation engaging and fun, it’ll probably turn out fine. I guess it really depends on whether your charismatic or not. But hey! The only thing you have to lose is all your self esteem ( but let’s be honest your self esteem is probably pretty low to begin with), might as well shoot your shot and get ready to bail if that shit goes south.

(Also to the people who commented about how you could get arrested or smth for doing this, like wtf, if your seriously worried about that maybe you should learn the signs that a women is uncomfortable with you, and leave her alone. Don’t keep talking to a girl who doesn’t want to talk to you, and you’ll be fine)

4D-Alien · 2021-03-23T01:52:49+00:00

"cold approach" is the default way to meet people. absolutely fine. the only issue is if you mean some fat ugly guy wearing a anime t-shirt spam approaching hundreds of women in a short amount of time. thats social ineptitude and cringe.

ur mileage will vary based on how good looking you are.

781234567 · 2021-03-23T21:17:53+00:00

I was just talking to my friend about this today. You’re going to find people you are much more compatible with by seeking out those who frequent the same spaces as you.

The conversation sparked because earlier I had been flirting with a store clerk at a specialty shop it was taking forever because we were just talking away about a mutual hobby. If he had asked for my number I 100% would have given it to him. It’s possible I may have misread this one conversation but in general just so often you’ll hit it off with someone but both of you are in that thinking “oh they’re just being nice” so nobody pulls the trigger.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-03-22T17:33:06+00:00

The things that are "wrong" with it are

--it's not all that effective

--you had better be doing it right

--you had better be prepared to get publicly nuked

--you'll probably get reported to police a few times

Novadina · 2021-03-22T23:14:43+00:00

Is there anything I can do to keep men like you from bothering me? By far the most common place I get hit on is on public transportation (or waiting at stop lights on foot) on my way to/from work.

There is 0% chance of me not rejecting anyone as I am not single. Even wearing headphones and ignoring them doesn’t work. And it sucks rejecting guys as sometimes they get scary or aggressive when I do, or refuse to stop attempting no matter what I say.

The only successful thing that has toned the approaches down is getting older... when I was a kid it was so much worse.

wtknight · 2021-03-22T17:53:16+00:00

I think that there's nothing wrong with it as long as it's in an appropriate place where a woman isn't bothered by it. The problem is, men who cold approach often cold approach in places where at best a woman doesn't want to be bothered and at worst when she feels unsafe. Sure, a very high value man might get her attention anyway, but most men are not going to be of this high of value, and even a very high value man will seem dangerous to a woman being approached on a street at night, for instance.

But at bars, clubs, parties and other social gatherings, yeah, women should expect to be approached because this is the long socially accepted way for men to express interest in the west. Women who say that they are bothered by this are usually being inconsistent, because they're rejecting the men who approach in this way not because they're being inconvenienced, but just because they don't find him attractive enough, and a high value man would definitely not be rejected by a single woman in such a setting unless she had some kind of external circumstances going on in her life that made her not want to be bothered by any man that night.

MarkusTheHero · 2021-03-22T18:20:44+00:00

I don't know how Germans would feel about this

LeJacquelope · 2021-03-22T17:17:14+00:00

I'll never believe a man coming up to me on the street is a genuine good guy who wants to get to know me. I will always assume he is a PUA practicing his day game. 🤷‍♀️

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-03-22T18:52:39+00:00

There's nothing objectively wrong with it but the person being approached might have a problem with it if they don't want to be bothered by you/aren't interested in what you're selling.

Weremaid · 2021-03-22T19:10:13+00:00

Besides just the fact that this is almost certainly doomed to failure— it’s a shitty thing to do. It makes women uncomfortable and unsafe. Do not approach female strangers out of the blue, and especially not when they’re “stuck” in line or trying to enjoy their own private hobbies.

Edit: roll your eyes all you want boys, but don’t ever wonder why women find you creepy when you literally ignore everything we have to say. If you can prioritize your dick over other people’s sense of security, then that’s pretty much all we need to know about you.

LeJacquelope · 2021-03-22T22:09:47+00:00

LOL it's Purge Week again?

SaBahRub · 2021-03-22T17:33:55+00:00

Sure there is.

What I want > what you want

If you’re going to try to use someone for your own selfish desires, don’t pretend that you’re not trying to use someone for your own selfish desires. Or you might rightly get called out

It’s not the desire; it’s pretending it’s not selfish

mechanical_elves · 2021-03-22T17:21:20+00:00

There's nothing wrong with cold approaching like there's nothing wrong with going to a business and giving the manager a firm handshake, looking him in the eye, and asking him for a job.

"nothing wrong with it" means very little, it's disconnected from the broader reality

gammaJinx · 2021-03-22T18:15:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

goatismycopilot · 2021-03-22T19:32:46+00:00

Most men are too awkward and self conscious and are horrible at small talk and have zero conversation skills to cold approach or they are way too intense. There is a gigantic list of reasons southern men get on my nerves but I admire their ability to play the game to be charming and to flex.

Yesterday the weather was nice and I bought many bags of soil and at least t six different men all of them attractive ranging from kid to old man offered to help me load up my SUV. They were not interested in ME I was an opportunity to practise flexing so they did it. I am not some hot chick.

A lot of southern men think highly of themselves even if they are homeless with one.

Men who won't go to bars or music venues or parties who " hate " small talk are not going to cold approach and 8f they do they will be terrible at it because they do not know how to human.

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Pilling_it · 2021-03-22T18:46:08+00:00

Well, it fails the cost benefit analysis for me, so there's that. And not just effort itself, it's time consuming, and by getting really used to it... Sure, you're not afraid anymore, but I think there's also something that is lost that's going to be relevant later down the line. Hard to express it though.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-03-22T20:23:13+00:00

Look, I don't think anything is wrong with it per se. But a lot of women don't want to be approached. I did a few cold approaches when I first learned about TRP, but the results were meh. I think there's a time and place and men need to understand that before approaching a bunch of women. Dont be out here creeping on unsuspecting women.

superlurkage · 2021-03-23T00:43:37+00:00

Are you just doing “point and shoot”, or are you actually deciding to approach women who have acknowledged your existence and found it not-threatening and not-repulsive? Because there is a difference

neetykeeno · 2021-03-23T02:30:30+00:00

Any sort of approach to anyone in public about anything other than an urgent emergency like a fire or a heart attack needs to be thought through carefully and done with a degree of skill if you don't want a high chance of failure, possibly even humiliating failure. My suggestion to men considering doing this is if you have low social skills or low tolerance for public failure is that you spend a few days volunteering to sell lottery tickets for charities at one of those tables with two or three volunteers they sometimes set up in busy locations. That should get you over the worst of the learning curve in a supportive and mentored environment.

Ohmaygahh · 2021-03-23T14:28:01+00:00

Cold approach is slightly better than dating apps. A warm approach is best. Context and appearances are everything

basedmillennial95 · 2021-03-23T17:42:44+00:00

Cold Approach = Slapping a MeToo target on your back.

2021-03-24T19:43:32+00:00

On the street bad idea. Teenagers look like they're 26 now. You don't know if you're cold approaching a high-schooler or a 26 year old. You can either end up on a sex offender list or go to jail for harassment. Really not worth finding out. In an office setting or where you're guaranteed knowing their age it's fine.

Title	CMV: There is absolutely nothing wrong with cold approaching a person of interest
Author	gammaJinx
Upvotes	24
Comments	355
Date	March 22, 2021 4:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mas8or/cmv_there_is_absolutely_nothing_wrong_with_cold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-there-is-absolutely-nothing-wrong-with-cold.1189838 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189838

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