Does the "most average people are in relationships" argument work for women too?

BrigidFairy · 2026-01-16T08:59:17+00:00

What you don’t understand is that someone statistically can be average in some metrics, but mean the absolute world to someone

Human_Associate_4301 · 2026-01-16T19:20:41+00:00

Many men in real life do not care that much about looks and have a lot more priorities in relationships

Same goes for women

Idk it’s like these people don’t leave the house. I work at a very very busy thrift store. It’s kind of a trendy place and it’s in a fancier area. I get a lot of very attractive, normal looking, and “ugly” people coming in every single day and so many of them from every range are in relationships. Laughing, talking, smiling at their partners, anyone with eyes would be able to tell that they’re in love type shit. Sometimes there is a conventional man with an unconventional woman, vice versa, most often, I think people flock to their “league” in the looks department because it’s what they’re familiar with and their experiences are similar

Me and my partner are both “average” although we both seem to think we’re uglier than we are. Idk, he’s really handsome to me but he’s certainly not a chad and I’m no insta-baddie. I am so in love with him, and he sure does treat me like he’s in love with me

Real life is not the internet. None of this shit on here matters when you touch grass.

mar-uh-wah-nuh · 2026-01-16T09:04:48+00:00

If you are not interested in women's personalities, that may be one of the reasons why you're struggling. I think a lot of men care about their partner's personality in the context of a LTR or marriage.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-01-16T09:48:42+00:00

Those are two different arguments.

One is about being in a relationship and another is how they are being treated in a relationship.

And yes, things change over time. One might have gone into a relationship, but over time they noticed that their personality does not matter to the person and they might even activelly shun it down. Personality takes time to show up and many things only show up when you start livibg together.

Men have the right to complain when they notice/realise that they are only there because of the resources and their personality is invalidated.

And by the time you realise the situation, you might be deeply tangled, so it is harder to just leave.

The "average men are in relationships" is more of a retort to men who say that only the "chads" are in relationships. And if a person deemes themselves average and can't get into a relationship, then they either are not going for average people or they are below average in a key aspect.

DXBrigade · 2026-01-16T17:39:35+00:00

It doesn't work because women aren't complaining about how men only date the top 20%.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-16T09:01:44+00:00

Hard pill to swallow but both are true. hence why we see lots of evidence of men humiliating their partners.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-16T12:27:58+00:00

When people say “average men are in relationships,”they’re usually replying to men saying they can’t even get in. That’s an access rebuttal.

But when it gets flipped to “average women are in relationships,” it’s suddenly used to dismiss how women feel inside those relationships. That’s an experience rebuttal.

So it isn’t actually equivalent, even if it sounds similar. One answers “can you get a relationship?” The other pretends it answers “are you valued in one?”

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-16T13:03:11+00:00

It's a little difficult to go with this because I've been in relationships where I was being treated like a trophy and it took me awhile to figure it out and once I did I left. I wasn't ok with how I was being treated and we fought often, but I couldn't quite put my finger on the problem and was constantly trying to make it work because that's what I thought relationships were as a young and foolish woman.

When men are complaining that only the top 10 percent of men are in relationships it works to point out average dudes are in them because well, that's more than the top ten percent.

lesliecarbone · 2026-01-16T11:39:27+00:00

INFO: What makes a person "average"?

mashedturnip · 2026-01-16T15:03:57+00:00

Since the vast majority of people are heterosexual and polyamory/open relationships are rare, yes

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BetterToIlluminate · 2026-01-16T12:33:08+00:00

I think personality may not be an initial attracting factor but I definitely think most men care about it for any long-term relationship and especially marriage.

I can’t speak to most men but only my interpretation of “my man.”

I don’t think when we first met that my husband initially started talking to me because of my “personality.” Ostensibly, the pretense of the conversation being started was the book I was reading. However, I don’t think he would have continued the conversation with me to ask me for coffee- or perhaps even started it- if he hadn’t found me at least somewhat physically attractive.

However, I also don’t think he would have married me if my personality was off-putting, or worse. If I complained, insulted and nagged him constantly; yes, I think my “personality” would have ended the marriage potential. So, in short, I think men absolutely care about women’s personalties; I don’t think my husband would have married me if he found me incredibly grating our soul-crushing.

I guess, I see myself as “average.” It’s not really a concept I think about. I’m older now so I’ll talk about my younger self when I first met my husband as relevant. Yeah, average physical attractiveness for myself sounds about right; I don’t think I’m a hideous cave troll and I’m in decent shape. I try and be a good wife (or I guess, girlfriend in the past) but I have my flaws and I’m sure I whine sometimes and seek validation from my husband (he’s explicitly mentioned this so I know he sees it). So I’m not the hottest thing ever, nor was I ever; I’m not the perfect wife. I don’t think I’m hideous - and I try to be a good, supportive, and pleasant wife. Average. Make if that what you will.

bondepart · 2026-01-16T23:08:27+00:00

Okay, so explain how someone saying they prioritize being physically attracted to a partner over what they do for a living shows contempt for women?

Just seeing women as pretty objects and not caring about their goals, dreams, feelings is the very definition of contempt for women.

No, I said I didn't care about their status. Indifference =/= specifically selecting for lower status.

It didn’t come across as indifference.

I was directly responding to what you said in your comment. What did you mean by achievement if not the degree or career?

How very sad that you think personal achievement is only measured by a degree or career.

The battles you’ve overcome, the resilience, skill, talent you’ve developed, the personality traits and great loves you’ve nurtured. These all define who you are as a person.

Title	Does the "most average people are in relationships" argument work for women too?
Author	FuuraKafu
Upvotes	23
Comments	177
Date	January 16, 2026 8:55 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qeazrn/does_the_most_average_people_are_in_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-most-average-people-are-in-relationships.1571262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571262

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