Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.

toasterchild · 2026-01-08T00:18:23+00:00

No matter how much people desire there to be one answer that works for everyone there just isn't. Finding a new hobby will work for a handful of people, but not all or even most. Going out more with friends will work for some people but not all. Dressing nicer and paying more attention to personal smell can work for some people but not all or most. Being more specific in a dating app profile can work for some. ETC ETC ETC

Anyone who struggles with anything has to try out different solutions until they find something that works for them or they give up. That is just how life and advice for anything works.

Hobbies don't need to cost a lot. I have had friends meet a partner in meet up groups for jogging or walking, playing DND, playing video games online, even in online groups for people with social anxiety. If hobbies don't work for you tho, just move on to another idea.

Content_Concert_2555 · 2026-01-08T00:32:01+00:00

You don’t have classmates and coworkers to socialize with?

Aspider72 · 2026-01-08T00:18:00+00:00

Do you even have the time or money to date?

Part of the reason that women like meeting men through hobbies is that it gives them a better idea how that guy naturally acts. Because a lot of men put up a front when they are interested in someone. In paticular, how much time and energy they are willing to commit to activities outside of work or school. No one wants to date someone who is married to their job or to school.

And if you're struggling with money you're going to have a rough time for any number of other reasons.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-01-08T00:44:00+00:00

"Try a hobby," is to encourage ppl to go places and do things where they have a higher likelihood of meeting ppl with shared interests, when they're otherwise sitting at home. Not every piece of advice is perfect for every person.

Gotta be honest, I'm also wondering why you're trying to add another huge thing to your plate, when you don't sound like you're handling what's already on there very well.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-01-08T00:17:25+00:00

You can host a Catan night for free.

I have no idea in Europe but in the US local libraries host tons of free events.

There are also just meet-up groups that you can find online.

2026-01-08T00:51:41+00:00

Med school qnd other demanding fields are notorious for killing your social life.

Most doctors I know either met someone in med school or found a mate when they were done. Harsh but true reality.

You case is quite extreme though, at 23/25, people are broke but have time to do cheap stuff. Many free events at local libraries and whatnot.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-01-08T00:20:42+00:00

Yeah, fam. This is a WILD take, considering most everyone is struggling and trying to make ends meet. You’re in med school and your parents help you.

The self-centeredness of some of y’all privileged dudes is low-key impressive.

Commercial-Formal272 · 2026-01-08T00:33:11+00:00

Unfortunately, I think the answer is that you aren't "supposed" to be able to date until you have the disposable time and disposable income to pick up one of these "hobbies". If you can't afford the hobby, you likely won't be able to afford dates, gifts, or offer financial aid/security. If you can't afford the time for a hobby, then you likely wouldn't have the time to give the relationship the attention and time investment it needs.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2026-01-08T00:40:14+00:00

I love like he's the only one or even that men are people without disposable income or time.

Lots of people are broke. That's kind of part of the social landscape at the moment.

You can choose to stay home and do nothing though. But let's also admit that if you're not putting time into meeting new people you also... Won't meet new people

badgersonice · 2026-01-08T01:20:51+00:00

YOU've already fucked the economy for us. YOU benefit from the system.

A lot of the people giving this advice also already got fucked by the system. You are the one choosing to prioritize your career over a relationship— other people prioritized meeting people and dating over hyper-focusing on their career.

You’re the exact same of the “career woman” that men here love to bitch about as being undesirable because she’s choosing career over being a girlfriend. But they do have some point— you are not prioritizing finding time to date over a million other things in your life. You are making these choices every day to be very difficult to date.

If you want to have a successful dating life, you will have to make sacrifices and choose to do things like spend time with other humans. A prize woman is not gonna just plop in your lap after you expend zero time and zero effort just because you have a nice LinkedIn bio. Contrary to popular red pill belief, a career is not actually sexually attractive to women.

Or when you're some deadbeat working some dead end job, don't care about your future and live paycheck to paycheck it's quite easy to throw that money away on a €10 beer.

I’d like to point out to the rest of the readers here what a profoundly snobbish comment this is. He’s up here complaining about how the economy has ruined his ability to get laid… while he’s absolutely insulting anyone else worse off than him. Like dude, youee gonna whine about the career choices you made to do a thing you knew was going to be hard and time consuming and leave you neck-deep in debt, and you still sneer down your nose at anyone who didn’t have a quarter of a million dollars in cash or loans to shovel out for med school?

Pretty un-self-aware of you.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-08T02:12:40+00:00

I spend 6 hours in med school and 4 hours on my part time job every day...I make €500 a month from my job

4 hours x 5 days a week x 4 weeks is 80 hours per month. €500 (after taxes) ÷ 80 hours = €6.25 per hour

Unless you live in Slovenia or Bulgaria, where the average minimum wage is around €4, you need to get a better fucking job because you're being ripped off.

You're in fucking med school?! Great, that's what we need. Future doctors that can't fucking add or make up a more believeble story because this story is bullshit anyway.

How the fuck are we supposed to get new hobbies in with these prices?

There are lots of free hobbies, like hiking, birdwatching, reading, learning about history. I shit on men on PPD using data and statistics and I've already made 3 friends here.

it's very easy to just find new hobbies/ interest and meet people through that

That's what you and other men don't get. Having hobbies is supposed to make you a well-rounded person and show your personality by being passionate about what interests you. Using these hobbies as a vehicle to meet new people is performative. You didn't have any interest in the hobby in the first place. You were using the activity like Tinder. That's what people don't like.

sublimemongrel · 2026-01-08T04:56:21+00:00

Who is the YOU here?

Of course you don’t have time to find new hobbies. I don’t even see how youd have time to date or even meet new people?

Most people - even young people in school with part time jobs are not spending 14-16 hours a day either in school, studying or working.

I get the lacking disposable income part - I think many folks can empathize with broke kid in school. We just had like house parties and cheap beer.

Do med school students not have parties or get togethers? That’s how i socialized and managed to meet new people during undergrad and then grad school when I was broke. No “hobby” per se needed.

Neverending_Danding · 2026-01-08T11:50:07+00:00

"Find a hobby" is an advice on how to be able to meet more people. You can definitely find some cheap or free hobby. It won't help you with anything more though

EugeneCezanne · 2026-01-08T00:26:44+00:00

I'm 23 years old. I spend 6 hours in med school

So already you're outing yourself as a member of a small minority of young men. Maybe general advice just isnt for you, personally. No need to be mad about it.

ouishi · 2026-01-08T00:55:16+00:00

I've played rugby with a couple med students. They make it when their schedule allows.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-08T01:28:53+00:00

I love how y'all always have a litany of excuses.

It's like y'all never even try. It's just excuse after excuse after excuse.

If you don't want hobbies, don't have them. Just own that. Stop adding excuses.

Just take ownership for the lack of innovation and curiosity.

KayRay1994 · 2026-01-08T01:24:42+00:00

I mean… lots of broke people and college students make time for hobbies, utilize clubs, and so on. It is easy to meet people in college and uni because there are so many free or very low cost ways to do so, you not utilizing them isn’t a society issue

And have you considered this: if your time is fully consumed by med school and work, then maybe it simply isn’t a good time for you to start dating? Like this doesn’t seem like a “man is lonely, send help” issue, this flat out seems like you genuinely don’t have time and there is nothing wrong with not overextending yourself until you graduate or have more flexibility.

And I’m curious… who’s “you” here, because last I checked this shitty economy is impacting everyone, not just single men lol

It also sounds like your situation isn’t the norm. You’re in med school, med school is demanding and time consuming. Some make it work with hobbies and others don’t. Like idk what to tell you here, “you’re right. You don’t need hobbies. Let me find you a gf”?

And I can already tell you have a high view of yourself and your own status… and yet you want us to feel bad for you despite yourself looking down at others. Why should we feel bad for you?

mashedturnip · 2026-01-08T00:54:11+00:00

Guess what? Those people aren’t talking about you

Zabadoodude · 2026-01-08T02:54:36+00:00

That's why generic advice doesn't always work. For everyone. I wouldnt call any young guy with more than 2 hours of free time a day a deadbeat, though. Juggling med school and a job is hardly the standard experience of a younger guy. In your case probably try chatting up chicks in your program. Its med school, so should be lots of women, and realistically schoolnis going to be taking up most of ypur time. If you have time to spare work of your fitness.

ThemDamnBots · 2026-01-08T03:01:00+00:00

Dude you are ONLY 23. You need hobbies more than anything.
You are hustling like you have a wife and kids at home. If you have time to be on Reddit, you have time to sew, do a puzzle, practice sketching, look at cool places on Google maps, write poetry, improve your soft skills, Anything.

We make time for things we want to do. If you don't want to do it, that's fine

I get that when you are working and studying so much, you want to use your little off time to just rest and not think. But my point is that you are too enmeshed in hustle custle

Think of it this way. Unless you were born into wealth, you will always be tired and hustling. Hobbies or not. Might as well make your freetime with ir

ThemDamnBots · 2026-01-08T03:15:54+00:00

Sir, the reason the advice doesn't apply to you is because you have a BUILT-IN social space: your university. Older men do not have this venue

ThemDamnBots · 2026-01-08T03:17:43+00:00

Young man, how about you get out of the house and volunteer your time to individuals and organizations. But you might think that is beneath you

DankuTwo · 2026-01-08T04:05:41+00:00

Dude, you gotta get more sleep. 6 hours a night isn’t enough.

Axis_Control · 2026-01-08T04:18:19+00:00

Seems like you don't have the money or the time to date

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-01-08T08:19:54+00:00

If you don't have time for socialisation, how do you expect to ahve time for a relationship?

There are myriad of hobbies that are free. You can also organise you own stuff and invite people to join you."finding better hobbies" is about finding what you like that also allows you to socialise.

For transportation have you tried a combination of feet and public transport? Where i'm from students get 80% discount for the monthy public transport ticket (which is a lot cheaper than gas and parking space).

You can also try volunteering. It can allow you access to places where one would need to pay. And usually the job is half a day and they allow you to enjoy the rest of the event on your own.

Also, you don't have to buy the 10€ beer to socialise. I managed to socialise without buying any overpriced food/drink.

The point of hobbies is going out, socialising with people with whom you share an interest in a thing, through socialisation you might meet potential romantic options.

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Suspicious_Loss_84 · 2026-01-13T23:20:12+00:00

Idk what it’s like in the UK but sometimes in the US there are community events that are free to go to. But it really sounds like you are busy with starting your career. If I were you I’d be focusing on that. And if you have time hanging out at a bar with pool, find some friends, idk but if I’m being honest I’d probably be too tired

2026-01-14T20:39:21+00:00

You're in med school. you're not the average guy, so average advice may not work for you.

It's not exactly brain surgery to figure that out.

Odd-Share1809 · 2026-02-05T09:29:23+00:00

yet you had all that time to write this long ass post. get the fuck off of reddit

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-01-08T00:20:43+00:00

If you have minimal free time, then either exercise (weightlifting to get stronger) or a team sport is actually the one thing you should prioritize

2026-01-08T00:23:28+00:00

Have you tried taking dancing/singing lessons? Men who can dance/sing are very attractive to women.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-08T13:06:55+00:00

All of life is a resource management game (time, attention, money) showing what things you do and don't value.

You clearly do not value dating, socializing, or hobbies very highly. (I am not saying that critically). You value your career, working, sleeping, and earlier retirement (again, not judging).

Now, is this a requirement? Are you ill-fated? Is there no other option for you? Did society force you to live like this? No. You are freely choosing to manage your resources in this way.

You could quite easily put less into retirement and have the money for any one of those hobbies or a night out that you mention. Frankly, you could still be saving some and do this. You are choosing not to, which again, no judgement here, but stop throwing a pity party about how someone somewhere forced your hand.

You could also sleep less and work more to afford this. You aren't. I get it, I also like sleeping a lot more than I like most people or the dating/socializing process.

You could also expend effort to arrange your own communities surrounding more free activities (seriously, a frisbee is not so expensive and putting out playing in a park on social media is free). Again, I get it, your attention is elsewhere. But these are choices you're making.

The advice you've received is not bad advice. It is solid advice. You just don't want to alter your resource management game in such a way as to enact it effectively. WHICH IS FINE. But I doubt you're going to find your wife on those free video games you're mentioning. Maybe I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong, but I'm just having a guess here.

Now, if you were my friend (and I have been friends with future doctors), I would tell you that having a wife is probably going to be more fulfilling than retirement. I would tell you to try dating other doctors. I would tell you if you cannot alter your lifestyle in order to afford dating, socializing, and hobbies, then you probably cannot afford a girlfriend not just financially, but mentally you aren't ready to compromise in the ways a relationship requires. And I would tell you much like they tell women about their biological clocks that dating is for the young and many doctors struggle to find someone post medical school because so many people are paired up by then and what is left is the most disagreeable and difficult types...and you're going to be a doctor so you almost necessarily need a more agreeable and flexible woman to match the doctor lifestyle of on call, weird hours, long hours, and high stress.

You clearly understand the concept of investing for the future...dating is about investing for the future and much like investing, the best time to start is not when you need the money.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-08T13:13:16+00:00

To be honest it sounds like you don’t have the time or money to date.

Plus_City3331 · 2026-01-08T02:10:18+00:00

Brother, it doesn't get any better. Its part of the pathological existence of the modern man. When women have all the sexual power we HAVE to entertain them.

Your forefathers broke their backs on farms, in mines to keep a woman, now as modern man you have to exhaust yourself creating an "entertaining lifestyle" for her. This is your burden. It doesn't matter if youre a broke college student or youre making $200k/year like me (will be you in 6-10 years I'm sure). Hobbies and all that bullshit, youre "lifestyle" will always be a burden to impress women. Its just part of being a man.

Modern western women only care about fun and "lifestyle".

If you don't cater then youre dramatically lowering your chances of having an attractive woman by yourself.

So bear down, and start those BS "cool" hobbies because otherwise a lot of women won't give a shit about you, no matter how much you succeed in your career.

Basically you have to think of your life as a like a ridiculous rap video, because women are trending more and more into THAT culture mode of thinking. Even the edu-macated ones

Title	Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.
Author	Big_Skill_9964
Upvotes	27
Comments	115
Date	January 7, 2026 9:15 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q6rx0b/getting_finding_better_new_hobbies_is_advice_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/getting-finding-better-new-hobbies-is-advice-for.1570666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570666

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