Have you cheated

purenonsense2757 · 2026-03-11T05:03:26+00:00

Not only did I have tunnel vision for my wife for the 16 years we were together, but she passed away 3 years ago and I still feel married and haven't been attracted to anyone.

I need 2 hands to count the amount of times I could have cheated including with 2 of her friends. Never gave it a second thought even during a couple of rough years.

ETA: I don't consider myself high value in any kinda way. I was always a serial monogamist.

captaindestucto · 2026-03-11T06:19:50+00:00

No, I'm a 46 year old who's never even dated.

You might argue I would cheat on someone if given the opportunity, cause I'm a man and all men would if they could blah blah. But I really doubt it. You'd have to live with this person. Look them in the eye every day. The guilt would be unbearable.

ComfortableJeans · 2026-03-11T03:29:13+00:00

I'm no saint, I've been in all sorts of trouble, but I've never cheated. I'm pretty well behaved in my relationships. I think, anyway. I abhor cheating. I've cut off family members for cheating.

No women available to cheat with

There have been women who've expressed getting closer with me while I was in a relationship, but not explicitly sexually. I don't know if that counts. I actively didn't pursue a relationship with them. It felt... Inappropriate to allow room for that.

There was once a girl who me and my partner knew, who reached out to me online and started talking flirtatiously. As soon as I picked up on it, I showed my then girlfriend and let her know. That was the end of it.

No women found that was attractive enough that you could cheat with.

It wasn't an issue of them being not attractive enough, more just a lack of any desire.

Short relationship

Depends what you mean by short. All my relationships have been over multiple years. But not over five years.

Thought of cheating but didn’t bc you’d be afraid she’d find out

Close to cheating

Nope.

Texted, liked, commented or other wise messaged a woman for attention, solicitation of sex or anything of the sort.

I mean, I texted like friends that were girls. It was never sexual or even leaning toward intimate.

Emotionally cheated

I struggle to express any kind of vulnerable emotion to anyone beyond my partner. I was raised very working class, grew up with rugby boys. Outside of my partner, it all stays with me.

Would cheat if X person was available to you

Nope. If I wanted someone else, I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who wasn't them.

If it ain't monogamy, its mon-not-for-me.

Ok-Ninja-8165 · 2026-03-11T04:42:34+00:00

No. I don't cheat and I don't meet those conditions. Cheating would create more problem than it worth.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-03-11T08:08:46+00:00

I have never cheated.

I've had opportunities to, but never acted on what was clear interest on their part.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it, but the reality is that's one of those intrusive thoughts that as soon as it enters the brain gets violently rejected...because I'd never want to take a risk of hurting my wife, and any notions of attraction or wondering what someone might be like immediately evaporate in the face of hurting my favorite person in the entire world.

And before my wife, when I got to the point I was considering such a thing, it was just easier to take the hour or two to just break up first...because I'd only felt similarly to how I feel about my wife about one girl in college, and geographic reasons were the reason me and her eventually broke up. All my other girlfriends, if I got an itch to be with someone else, there was usually a clear reason why, that had to do with "this one isn't right for me," so it was proper to break up in those situations.

I think people in abusive situations can sometimes be justified in cheating, but generally it's abhorrent behavior...especially if someone has been a faithful and loving partner to you, and given you their best.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-03-11T09:18:08+00:00

I have not. I did hit immediately after breaking up with my first nightmare LTR, but I was able to wait until it was done to do so.

1) it’s almost always available. I’ve had more women who know that I have had a wife/girlfriend actively posture for my attention and to be with me (sometimes right in front of her) than I’d care to have had. I’ve even had to file complaints at work because certain women would not leave me alone. And for the all the “negging is awful and doesn’t work” crowd (you’ll see what I mean in a second), all that the ignoring and “rude” treatment of these women did was draw them to me more. So much for that, eh.
2) not the case
3) not the case
4) didn’t need to. I knew I could get it elsewhere if I wanted to. Wanted to be sure the relationship wasn’t salvageable before doing so.
5) never close on my end, but women have gotten really angry with me for not doing so and matching their desire for myself.
7) huh
8) nah, not like that.

PrecisionHat · 2026-03-11T12:22:22+00:00

I've never cheated. I thought about it once and didn't act on it because I was afraid of the consequences. Other than that, I've never been tempted.

matthedev · 2026-03-11T15:35:10+00:00

No, I've never cheated, and I find cheating repugnant. This is an area where Red Pill ideology is definitely wrong: Men have agency, of course, and won't just cheat just because the opportunity presents itself (decent men, at least). People made fun of Mike Pence for saying he wouldn't be in a room alone with a woman who wasn't his wife, but the reality is part of not cheating is not putting yourself in situations that bring temptation to the fore or make it easier to ignore any misgivings. That means not confiding in an attractive coworker about the little frustrations in your relationship (instead of, you know, talking about it with your partner). That means ignoring flirtatious overtures from a pretty woman you just met. That certainly means not sharing a few drinks over dinner and then going back to your or their place to "watch a movie" or "talk."

Some people want an open relationship or "ethical non-monogamy." That isn't for me, but cheating means not agreeing on those kinds of relationship boundaries, which is different.

Reaching for an explanation from evolutionary psychology is just so much bullshit; it would be more honest for a cheater to just say they're a dirtbag.

abaxeron · 2026-03-12T15:04:03+00:00

No, there was no obstacles, "emotional cheating" is not a thing (it's what cheating women made up to justify letting another man nut inside them because their bfs/husbands have female friends that sometimes hold their hands or peck them), and I'm old and tired and somewhat germaphobic and don't even want to have sex with my SO as much as she likes and deserves.

Ok_Ad_5041 · 2026-03-11T04:28:42+00:00

Yes, when I was younger.

I deeply regret it, and I would never do it now but yes.

razloz166 · 2026-03-11T05:21:51+00:00

Yes.

But only as payback for being cheated on.

lookhooturnt · 2026-03-11T03:55:56+00:00

Women under 30 are more likely to cheat than men under 30. Then it goes the opposite direction as men/women get older. Men in their 30s oftentimes become more desired than they were in their 20s, while the opposite happens to women.

Kapoue · 2026-03-11T05:35:34+00:00

I've never cheated or been chose to cheating. It's not that I couldn't as I've had multiple propositions over the years but it's not something I want to go.

We had a nonmonogamous stint two years ago where I slept with a lot of women so I know I can easily find NSA sex on Tinder. Cheating is just not something I want to do. If I really want to sleep with another woman, I'll organise a threesome.

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binne21 · 2026-03-11T06:01:20+00:00

Women have been interested.
There were attractive women but the thought did not cross my mind of cheating.
Nope.
Nope.
Never.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2026-03-11T08:18:24+00:00

i have as a teenager more than 15 years ago. i haven't since and it's not because of the reasons you listed.

RycerzKwarcowy · 2026-03-11T09:57:19+00:00

On another forum there was a question: how can you be sure you will be loyal, when there is so many desirable women around?

Well, for starters: I had to put a hell of an effort to get just one. There's no chance I could ever have even a chance to cheat without me actively working to get that chance, which I choose not to do.

Define "available"
I've got a very large range of "attractive enough", see above.
No.
No.
No.
No.
What do you mean "emotionally"? Temptations? All the time!
Never happened. The only way X would make her "available" to me is close to basically jumping naked into my bed. I think I would refuse even then: such a sudden attraction out of the blue would feel like mockery for all the long years when I dreamed about a single date but couldn't find one.

Barely-moral · 2026-03-11T10:06:42+00:00

Have you cheated

No.

if not do you meet any of these conditions:

No women available to cheat with

I did have women available to cheat with and I can realistically imagine I could get options.

No women found that was attractive enough that you could cheat with.

Haha. If she is an adult then she is attractive enough.

Short relationship

10 years and counting. But all relationship are short relationships at the beginning.

Thought of cheating but didn’t bc you’d be afraid she’d find out

Thought about it and didn't because I respect my own word. I said I wouldn't cheat.

Close to cheating

How do you define that?

Having high chances of making the decision to cheat? Then no

Being one decision away from cheating? Is it a matter of time and availability if I desired to cheat? Then sure.

Texted, liked, commented or other wise messaged a woman for attention, solicitation of sex or anything of the sort.

No.

Emotionally cheated

Define the term so I can give you a proper answer. I believe I did not.

Would cheat if X person was available to you

No. I respect my own word.

Hadal_Benthos · 2026-03-11T10:26:57+00:00

No women available to cheat with is a condition that I maintain myself by not having a social life (and for a long time either zero colleagues or little contact with them). One of the reasons I was more socially active when I was single is because I was looking, and now I don't. Me and and my girlfriend are both reclusive.

growframe · 2026-03-11T11:33:28+00:00

No and no to all the additional questions

DraftOk4195 · 2026-03-11T14:40:14+00:00

Yes, in two long-term relationships. The first one I think I was around 17 or so and the other in my early 20s.

I'm going to elaborate a little as I found the extras for the 'no'-people intresting.

The options seem to tilt towards situations requiring some planning. That was never part of the equation for me. My cheating was always impulsive and happened at parties or after a night out with the boys when an attractive girl/woman showed interest, within a few hours of recognizing what they wanted. I suspect the relationships not doing too well played at least some kind of role regardless.

On no. 6, sure I talked to a lot of girls/women for attention. Not sure if I was in a relationship at those times but I might've been.

On no. 7, I don't know what emotional cheating really means so not sure if I'm guilty of it or not.

On no. 8, no I wouldn't cheat again no matter who was available.

GloopGlopTurboWumbus · 2026-03-11T17:02:18+00:00

No I've never cheated, when I was sleeping with multiple girls I would tell them what was going on and make sure they were OK with what I was doing. I never wanted to lead anyone on if they were under the impression that I wanted monogamy when I didn't. Had a girl tell me she didn't want to see me ever again for that, but I'd rather be honest than go behind someone's back.

WebNew9978 · 2026-03-11T20:14:48+00:00

Well the thing about never having a chance at having a dating and sex life is that I’ll never have and never cheat on anyone. I’d like to think that I would never cheat if the opportunity ever existed but since my dating and sex life are nonexistent, those kind of questions are still a mystery to me.

AreOut · 2026-03-11T20:45:37+00:00

No. I was actually leaving relationships(if going with someone 10-15 days might be considered one) because I wanted to meet a person where something romantic could happen (and most of the time it didn't).

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2026-03-11T21:51:10+00:00

No, even when my marriage was really going to shit (and not because of infidelity by either party) I didn't consider it. To me it is an ethical line I wouldn't cross. And when we got together I did have interest from other women, as I always say, women found me attractive in my mid 20s loser phase.

brazenbull09 · 2026-03-12T00:36:11+00:00

Lol yes I did when I was a teenager. She caught me sexting another girl, the sight of her crying and brokenhearted was enough to make me never do it again

Neverending_Danding · 2026-03-12T11:44:33+00:00

> No women available to cheat with

in typical women's fashion, once i was in relationships, some women magically started being very interest in me

> No women found that was attractive enough that you could cheat with.

I don't claim i suddenly think every other woman is ugly, but i don't care attractive others are - when i'm in a relationships, my eyes are for my girl only

> Short relationship

Depends what's short? But i never had the thought of cheating, no matter the length of relationship

> Thought of cheating but didn’t bc you’d be afraid she’d find out

i never had the thought of cheating

> Close to cheating

i never had the thought of cheating

> Texted, liked, commented or other wise messaged a woman for attention, solicitation of sex or anything of the sort.

No

> Emotionally cheated

No

> Would cheat if X person was available to you

No such person

YourMrFahrenheit · 2026-03-12T16:05:39+00:00

My wife offered to open our relationship for only me, due to a medical condition that prevents us from having intercourse or from her performing oral sex on me. I did not take her up on the offer. I don't know the answers to half your questions because I've never tried to pursue any women so I don't know what my options are. My wife says women hit on me a lot and I don't notice.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-03-13T19:54:27+00:00

Have you cheated

For the men out there, have you ever cheated and if not do you meet any of these conditions:

No women available to cheat with
No women found that was attractive enough that you could cheat with.
Short relationship
Thought of cheating but didn’t bc you’d be afraid she’d find out
Close to cheating
Texted, liked, commented or other wise messaged a woman for attention, solicitation of sex or anything of the sort.
Emotionally cheated
Would cheat if X person was available to you

No I dont cheat. It's annoying and complicated

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2026-03-22T01:18:01+00:00

I haven't cheated and meet none of those conditions.

Bikerbats · 2026-03-11T04:37:14+00:00

I did cheat, a lot. I did however eventually outgrow it.

addings0 · 2026-03-11T16:57:37+00:00

For the men out there, have you ever cheated

No

and if not do you meet any of these conditions:

How can I if there's no other women around?
Found plenty of opportunity where I could
?
No and no
Yes.
It's called flirting, yes. No sex.
No.
Possibly. Not intending to or aspire to. Cheating isn't fulfilling. But I'm not perfect made of stone, and don't throw stones either.

Women don't want men other women don't want. Women want men that can/could cheat, not men that can't/never do. Women like to compete and want men to support it , regardless if they're in a happy relationship or not. But women demand men not to cheat, to feed a womans ego. Women trust other women less around their man, than their man around other women

The top 10% of men ( all ) women chase, are the ones that have the highest chances of cheating. He's got so many opportunities ( women tend to know about ) , which gives him more opportunity. And it's mostly by profession. Men that have jobs that involve a lot of social activity, are most likely to cheat ( like lawyers or policeman ) . BTW, lawyers have so much money and social reputation, women actually allow/expect them to cheat or have multiple partners.

Women ( " modern " ) have also invented 20 different kinds of relationships to avoid shame or complications for whomever they're with ( lavender, situationship, cuffing , DTR ) .

Women use mens cheating as an excuse to shame men. Yet when women cheat, people go out of their way to defend or feel sorry for them. " He cheated, he's a pig. She cheated, maybe she's sad or bummed out. "

Men not cheating changes nothing about how women value men, or what women do.

PattayaVagabond · 2026-03-11T03:54:05+00:00

Never cheated and won't associate with anyone who does that. That is considered adultery and should be punishable by imprisonment, in some cases the death penalty. It may sound harsh, but the biblical law is harsh.

krackedy · 2026-03-11T10:36:46+00:00

I cheated when I was younger, in 2 relationships. I had some undiagnosed nental health issues and the relationships were toxic, not that it's an excuse.

I'd never cheat on my wife.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-03-11T13:44:13+00:00

Never cheated because it’s just easier to break up if you really want to be with someone else.

The whole point of dating to become exclusive was to be ready to be exclusive when you both got there.

And at that point you should care about the other person so much that if you want to go, you owe it to yourself and her to end things.

Title	Have you cheated
Author	Artistic_Bumblebee17
Upvotes	4
Comments	49
Date	March 11, 2026 3:11 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rqih8l/have_you_cheated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-cheated.1575210 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575210

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