How do you define hypergamy?

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-12-01T06:09:02+00:00

Tom cruise for example is short but he’s obviously not “low value”

2020-12-01T08:52:10+00:00

For instance, I like a guy who is facially more attractive than me, which is classic hypergamy. But he is also shorter than me by a few feet.

He's shorter than you by a few feet??

Are you dating Peter Dinklage lmao

longseansilver44 · 2020-12-01T10:02:07+00:00

But he is also shorter than me by a few feet.

A few feet!!? That's a coffee spitting height difference. Wtaf gap are you talking here? Say you are a very tall woman at 6ft, he is 3ft? That's insanely short, much shorter than most dwarfs. That's Verne Troyer height. That would be a person who could grow 1ft and 10 inches and still medically be a dwarf.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-12-01T06:22:29+00:00

This is like the third post in the last two months. You can search subreddits to find the info you're looking for, you know.

"Hypergamy" is the tendency to move to wealthier relationships, so since this applies to women, women are always seeking equal or better financial status than they or their current or previous partners have, and the only time they downgrade in financial status is for genuine "love."

A simple example:

Woman makes $40k and meets guy with $80k = SCHWING!

Woman makes $40k and meets guy with $30k = No schwing.

Woman makes $80k and meets guy with $80k = SCHWING!

Woman makes $80k and meets guy with $30k but falls in love with him anyway = SCHWING!

passepar2t · 2020-12-01T08:22:49+00:00

Hypergamy is not interclass dating.

For the purposes of the red pill, hypergamy is a woman's innate desire to keep branch swinging to higher and higher status boyfriends. She'll never be satisfied with one man and will always be looking to trade up for a better model.

Obviously that goes hand in hand with the "date a rich man" definition of hypergamy but it is not what we talk about when we say the word.

HODL_monk · 2020-12-01T09:23:37+00:00

Hypergamy is a made up redpill term for the ability of women to upgrade mates relatively easily, on account of the bar being lower for women to enter new relationships.

The guy equivalent would be Serial Monogamy/Trophy Wife. See Donald Trump's relationships over the years. Just because the guy version requires better prenups and funds doesn't mean its any different, just harder to pull off. This 'special word' is created as a jealousy thing, like a lot of redpill content.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-12-01T06:26:54+00:00

Hypergamy is the natural female brain-wiring that makes them always want more no matter what she has.

Hypergamy is a single, perfect word for "never enough".

insertcredit2 · 2020-12-01T09:02:06+00:00

It's about women who treat men like jobs. If one that pays more and has more status comes along they leave as why would you be loyal to your employer?

So are all women hypergamous could be rephrased as does everyone want a job with better pay and has more status? The answer is no a lot of people do but a lot of people want a job they love and they feel secure in but a lot of people also want money and status. However no-one wants a job that they don't enjoy that also has shitty pay so if you're broke and ugly she's going to dump you for someone better the moment they come along.

jdobrila · 2020-12-01T07:36:52+00:00

Step 1: "Is he 'better' than me?"

Step 2: "Is he 'better' than other men in my dunbar's number?"

psypD · 2020-12-01T13:01:36+00:00

Hypergamy in the RP sense is not relative to you but to the guy you currently have. It is the tendency to want what you perceive as better than you currently have. Don't worry TRP never made the mistake to think women ever critically assess their value.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-01T14:44:52+00:00

Hypergamy is women’s tendency to date men of higher value than themselves

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-12-02T09:31:24+00:00

^

Throwawayforshitt · 2020-12-01T06:32:42+00:00

hy·per·ga·my

/hīˈpərɡəmē/

noun

the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background.

Basically - women tend to marry and date in LTRs men who are "higher class" or higher status within the same class than them.

Ex: woman grows up poor? Her dating life is limited to poor, lower middle class to rich. Woman grows up upper middle class? Woman is limited to rich guys (by her biology). My gf is like this with me honestly, she grew up UMC, I grew up low level rich/high level UMC (kind of on the border). She is physically fitter and hotter than me, but i make up for it in this manner among other things that aren't having a six pack(sadly, lol).

It can be among other dominance hierarchies as well. For example, some women won't date someone shorter than them, weaker than them, or less intelligent than them, less educated than them, less witty or humorous than them, or less extroverted and confident than them.

One woman might prioritize intelligence over height, one might prioritize wealth over physical characteristics, one might prioritize facial attractiveness over everything... It really depends on the person.

But in general - women date "up and across"

Men date "across and down"

Obviously, there are exceptions.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2020-12-01T08:18:05+00:00

Hypergamy, as far as I understand, correct me if I’m wrong, (woman always seeking out better partners and will leave an relationship the moment she sees something better ) is something I have yet to see occur in real life.

the40yearoldincel · 2020-12-01T07:09:56+00:00

My definition of hypergamy:

Women who are always looking for something better around the corner, even if they are with a man they love and are attracted too. They believe they might find someone even more attractive than the man they're currently with, and are willing to trade up if necessary, and are more than willing to risk that relationship for the opportunity.

Women who are willing to share the same highly attractive man, even if that means he will never commit to a long-term relationship or marriage. Women would rather share one highly desirable man than settle for someone less desirable, just as long as they get to experience that one man, if only for a brief period. This however will delude women into believing they're only worthy of men of such caliber, while a perfectly matched man who might not be as good looking, wealthy or high status won't even be given the time of day by these women.

This also extends into women believing they're entitled to any man of their choosing, just as long as those men are high status, which include appearance, profession and income. These women themselves might be average or below average, and may also have flaws such as being overweight, but will judge any man who is shorter than 6' as being inadequate. The fact women get to judge men solely on things like their height or hairline, yet men cannot judge women on any of their physical flaws doesn't necessarily make that hypergamy, and more of a double-standard, but still falls into the same category of what's being discussed.

poppy_blu · 2020-12-01T10:26:32+00:00

OP have you ever been to the RP sub?

stats135 · 2020-12-01T06:23:40+00:00

There are two parts to hypergamy "feeling attraction to someone of higher value" and "losing attraction to the person of less value."

When we say women are hypergamous, its not just that she feels attractive to the handsome devil with the jawline. That alone doesn't make for hypergamy. The crucial component is that she then loses attraction to the "lesser" man she's with.

In contrast men are polygamous. A man would feel attracted to and want to fuck his young secretary, but would still fuck his wife when he gets home. He would want the new playstation, but still treasures his old N64 and old teddy bear.

Coder-Cat · 2020-12-01T08:56:29+00:00

A man thinks he’s in a woman’s league because he makes more than her and they’re both fat is pretty much what the word hypergamy means.

It doesn’t matter if she’s dyes and cuts her hair every three weeks, washes it with special shampoo and conditioner, styles it regularly. Uses three or four different lotions and implements on her face to reduce wrinkles, washes it with special soap and wears makeup everyday. Keeps her nails tidy, clean from dirt and gets them done every month. Removes all her hair from the neck down, bleaches her stach and plucks her eyebrows. Wears clothes that are fashionable, free from holes/stains and compliments her figure. Has an active social life and a solid family unit. Has a plethora of hobbies that are engaging, fun and fulfilling. Has a home that is decorated to her style and at least hygienic. Has a career that she put effort into obtaining because she thought it would be fulfilling....

None of that matters if the guy is also fat and makes more than her. Double points if his teeth are bad.

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keepturning1 · 2020-12-01T12:07:43+00:00

It’s not that they’re better in comparison to you, it’s in comparison to your current partner.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-01T12:28:53+00:00

Its describes women’s tendency to pick partners outside their league in terms of looks, status, wealth etc especially during casual encounters and it generally will not lead to success and is a very short sighted mating strategy but nearly all women engage in it sooo

xFallacyx69 · 2020-12-01T13:01:33+00:00

I think of hypergamy as the chicks who just start a MASSIVE list of requirements their man has to have while being a pump and dump for 90% of their relationships

relish5k · 2020-12-01T14:06:11+00:00

My understanding (and please correct me if I'm wrong) is that women try to do better than themselves, by going for a man who is a higher social status.

However this is very rare since most people date and marry within their own SEC. Just because a your partner has a higher income than you by 10-20k doesn't mean you're not in the same SEC. SEC has just as much to do with where you have come from than how much money you make.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-01T14:44:11+00:00

Here’s a simple way to understand hypergamy. I can hardly think of a woman i know who lost her virginity to a guy who was below average height or short. Most girls i know lost their virginity to a guy who was tall or at least above average height. It hypergamy wasnt real we wouldnt see this trend.

2020-12-01T15:07:41+00:00

A few feet?!?! Damn is he a midget!?! Like unless you 7 feet tall I don't know how that works.

But seriously, I think society is shifting to wear height doesnt matter as much for men as status, wealth, muscles, and looks. There's plenty of high-value short men.

Height used to be an aspect in protector status but guy don't have to be talk to be protectors.

rft24 · 2020-12-01T15:27:47+00:00

hypergamy is actually dating/marrying someone of a higher socioeconomic status or class than you. that’s the literal definition of the word.

people just love changing the definition of words to suit their narrative, especially in this sector of reddit.

your relationship is not hypergamous if you’re both making around the same amount of money and come from the same socioeconomic background.

DissonanceBadger · 2020-12-01T15:34:22+00:00

Hypergamy is defined as marrying someone who has a socio-economic status that is equal to or higher than your own. That’s the definition that is used by the relevant scientific literature, and it’s the only correct use of the term. The red pill’s use of the term is not scientifically valid, since they extrapolate it to things beyond what is established by research. Specifically, it is not the tendency to upgrade to higher value mates, that’s a red pill invention.

wtknight · 2020-12-01T15:39:27+00:00

I’ve always said that it’s when “something” about a guy impresses a woman, even if other things about him do not (as long as those things don’t completely turn her off, of course). For men, nothing about a woman might impress a guy and he could still be sexually attracted to her (although not so much for a relationship). Furthermore, what turns him off will likely be a much shorter list than what turns off a woman.

SilentLurker666 · 2020-12-01T15:40:23+00:00

What's wrong with the dictionary and the broad definition: "the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background."

For instance, I like a guy who is facially more attractive than me, which is classic hypergamy. But he is also shorter than me by a few feet. We both have jobs (so same SES) and the same sense of humor. Would this be hypergamy? Half hypergamy?

Depends on how much you think height is a factor. The problem here is that everyone thinks each quantifier is on a scale. For example in your case: attractive (8), Height (1), Social economic status (6), sense of humor (7) which should net you a score of 22/40. In reality it's more of a logarithmic scale and a person who's a few feet shorter then you is a major deal breaker... either he's a midget, or you should join the WNBA.

Godfist04 · 2020-12-01T15:41:24+00:00

Everyone wants to date someone on equal or above standing. To me I consider hypergamy when you constantly are looking out for the better partner. If when you are dating someone you are still looking for another partner who is better than your current

darkredpintobeans · 2020-12-01T16:09:39+00:00

Hypergamy is actually defined as dating above your socio/eco class. However trp broadens this definition by replacing class with the more vague term value. They make the term more nebulous so they can apply it to whatever they want. Instead of a woman who's trying to fuck her way up the economic ladder, now it can apply to a woman who wants a bf that doesn't lay on his couch all day in a filthy apartment, regardless of if she's making more than him financially now she's hypergamus for wanting someone of higher value. The term does not apply to all the men pining after women that are out of their league, or the men who trade their old lady wives for hot new ones. It's only a flaw when women do it.

trve_21e · 2020-12-01T22:04:19+00:00

Getting with someone more attractive.

chlor0phil · 2020-12-02T01:04:49+00:00

I define it as intentionally using a romantic relationship to increase your quality of life in a materialistic or superficial way, usually through wealth, power, or social status. I think that's bad because a good relationship should ideally be a goal in itself but in hypergamy it's a means to an end: a golden ticket for the gravy train to the good life on easy street, if you will. I think there's also an element of women being attracted to superiority, which does not bode well for any lasting equality of power dynamics. There have been a few posts here on how hypergamy and equality don't mix, here's mine: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/j3k78m/seems_like_women_arent_attracted_to_men_who_are/

I would disagree with the idea of you with a more attractive guy as an example of classic hypergamy: better example is the trope of an older rich/powerful/famous guy with a hot young trophy wife.

Also you seem really zeroed in on facial attractiveness and height, and the job stuff. There's more to it of course like status/power/greener-grass but you are right that much of it is subjective and different people are going to prioritize different criteria.

LooseIndication · 2020-12-02T16:14:26+00:00

A non hypergamous woman is autistic, or has something broken.

Hypergamy is necessary. It assures that the next generation has the best DNA.

WingIllustrious · 2020-12-01T08:04:36+00:00

Hypergamy is the female tendency to acquire seed from the highest value male possible. It's a good thing that in our part of the world, religion, societal norms and arranged marriages don't allow women to ride the alpha males throughout their 20s.. They just get married once. Hypergamy comes into play in these marriages too though.

deeredman1991 · 2020-12-01T06:37:39+00:00

It is subjective but women tend to rate above average men as average. According to a study I saw awhile back on this very sub.

Basically men tended to rate women on a perfect bell curve, women rated men much differently.

That and traditional "hypergamy", in it's truest form, seems to be in reference to money but I have seen it used to refer to an overall attractiveness as well.

SteveSan82 · 2020-12-01T08:53:56+00:00

Hypergamy is when a woman looks for a man who can provide more resources than what she or her current man can provide.

A woman always has 2 men. The man she is with and the man she really wants. She may also have multiple backups from monkey branching.

lestratege · 2020-12-01T10:26:24+00:00

Hypergamy is a sociological concept. It means women marrying up. By extension it means pairing up, not just marrying.

Then the next question is, what does "up" mean. Well it means in social class. Social classes are defined by socioeconomical capital. This means more education, more money or more culture.

Research has shown that women who marry down in education are actually more likely to marry up economically. This means that the gender studies graduate will marry a plumber only if he out earns her...

That's hypergamy.

A caveat is that it should be understood as superior or equal. Most people pair homogamically, that is, at the same level.

However there's one thing women don't do is to pair down. The prince can marry a shepherdess but the princess never marries a true sheperd. He's always the secret son of a king.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-01T12:29:42+00:00

A great example of Hypergamy is every woman and their mom expecting a tall guy especially for their first time. I hardly know a girl who lost their virginity to a short or average height guy... 🤷‍♂️

Ask_For_Cock_Pics · 2020-12-01T08:27:32+00:00

Hypergamy is the reason that female love is an illusion. It doesn't matter who you are, what you've done, or how deep you feel your love is, your woman will always jump to a man she sees as higher in the hierarchy if she feels confident that she can.

Title	How do you define hypergamy?
Author	Nervous_Skink
Upvotes	38
Comments	254
Date	December 1, 2020 6:04 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k4f3jo/how_do_you_define_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-define-hypergamy.329202 https://theredarchive.com/post/329202

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