Love bombing vs feigning low interest

holyskillet · 2024-04-17T23:15:58+00:00

The most effective strategy is alternating between being distant and lovebombing. Play stupid games win stupid prizes tho

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-04-18T01:43:41+00:00

Every relationship that I’ve had that worked for any long term has started out immediately hot and heavy.

in order to attract women you need to remain relatively distant, cool and calm to avoid appearing desperate. Desperation is a girl repellent

No. What is repellent to women is a guy who is desperate for “a woman”. A guy who has options with women but is desperate for me? 😘

Which one is more effective?

Here’s an idea, why don’t you actually respond how you feel? Instead of everything being a game. Radical, I know. If you are absolutely crazy about a woman, let her know. If you are interested but still unsure, take it slow.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-04-17T23:16:10+00:00

Which one is more effective?

Neither.

Just be attractive (unironically).

People want to hang out, have sex, marry, and raise kids with attractive people who are reasonably neurotypical.

That's the whole magic behind attracting women (and men).

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2024-04-18T05:19:55+00:00

There isn't a perfect strategy that work on everyone, people are different and something will work wonder on one and be a total flop on the next one.

Love bombing will be effective with people with low self esteem, low interest will be more effective with people with high self esteem.

Alterning between the two and playing hot and cold will be the most effective strategy with everyone in between.

Keep in mind that every social interaction in seduction are manipulative. It doesn't mean that you have to use all the dirtiest move in the book.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-04-18T00:24:09+00:00

Manipulative scheming will never result in “pure attraction”. Seriously, never.

illusoryfindings · 2024-04-18T01:18:24+00:00

I've always gotten much better results from feigning low interest, the red pill really does work in this sense. Women fall harder and faster for you, and give you much more of their love when they feel like it's easier for you to walk away than it is for them.

However I find myself subconsciously not respecting these women because it grosses me out when they love me harder the worse I treat them.

When I'm more authentic and commutative about my interest levels and excitement, lots of women will initially register that as desperate, needy, and boring. And it takes them time to realize that's not the case. Our conversations end up having goofy bestie vibes instead of romantic vibes because we're being real we're talking about feelings, which is what female friendships are like. It's like they subconsciously put you in a 'gay best friend' category. Also, if she feels like you're too keen, she takes you for granted and doesn't feel the need to try as hard, like she thinks you are.

In this 'lovebomby' scenario, I find women want to bring out all sorts of hoops for me to jump through to reach all the emotional/sexual milestones. And they only drop the hoops when they feel like I'm pulling away, or they see me with other women, then suddenly the interest picks up again.

berichorbeburied · 2024-04-17T23:38:51+00:00

Love bombing is the true strategy

In an equation

love bombing = effort

Being distant = value

So if you want a woman to chase you. You are distant.

If you want to chase a woman you love bomb

Inbetween that is some variation of the two.

And this is where push and pull techniques and “game” come into play.

I love bomb.

That’s who I am.

The only time I’m distant is when I’m not interested.

But I guess this is because my personality type is more dominant/pursuer

When it’s not someone I want. Then I’m distant. And they chase me.

When it’s spontaneous. And it’s not from my free will or desire. But she catches my eye. Or goes out of her way to seduce me. Or maybe we have a deep conversation. Ect.

Then it’s a variation but in those situations. It’s always temporary

So tldr. It depend on your dating strategy/personality type

If you hunt = effort = love bombing m

If you want to be hunted = value = distant

If you want a variation = x effort + x value = love bombing + distant

But they all “work”

KayRay1994 · 2024-04-18T02:03:48+00:00

“love bombing is a strategy” sir you’re engaging in manipulation and if you’re knowingly applying it then you’ve officially outed yourself as someone who is willing tot take advantage of others.

The reason why it “works” is because it draws in people with low self esteem and makes them feel valued, in other words, you’re playing them and using them for your own gain. Don’t do that. It makes them worse off and more cynical as they age for the sake of your own benefit.

I’m also not gonna tell you which of the two is more effective or why because you’re unironically making your intention to take advantage of others’ low self worth very clear

AcephalicDude · 2024-04-17T23:23:40+00:00

Obviously you need a balanced approach and you need to be sensitive to context clues, implicit signals, differences in individual personality, etc. This is why dating advice is almost always bad. There is no reliable formula for it, there is no way to replace social awareness with a fixed strategy.

Fun_Push7168 · 2024-04-18T00:51:16+00:00

You're always going to have mixed results, nobody is ever just always successful.

Low interest works until she is hooked and wants to be in the puppy love stage. When she is then you can go crazy.

It's basic common sense really. Noone is going to be intrigued by someone who's all about them instantly and no one is going to forever chase with non results.

The natural progression is basically low interest (intrigue), breadcrumbing, love bombing.

These are just the terms for when that progression is gamified and done consciously instead of naturally. Usually only when some event causes one party to realize it wasn't genuine.

Ideally those stages just line up naturally in people that match.

Love bombing ( in the game sense) works when you are given cues that indicate it's desired and well received.

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-04-18T02:25:58+00:00

I don't think anyone should lovebomb within the first few weeks of meeting someone. Just being genuinely interested in them while also projecting clear boundaries and making it obvious you have a life is good enough. Guys fuck up at this super early stage by texting nonstop or being extremely intimate. This makes it seem like you have no life and comes across as very clingy.

Past that, it depends on how you want to sell yourself. Think about what works for your personality type, livestyle, type of girls you tend to date, as well as your desires. Do you want emotional intimacy or just sex? Can you effectively create dread?(which is essential for the distant strategy) Are you dating more nerdy/sheltered women or club girls?

There are so many more variables to consider as well as the fact that its never truly just one or the other. Distant people have to show love sometimes and intimate people should create space sometimes. Being able to do both is essential for a healthy relationship. But in terms of what you lean more heavily into thats mostly a product of what feels natural as well as what works for the girls you are trying to date.

DarayRaven · 2024-04-18T05:25:15+00:00

Well love bombing is just beta-game to be honest, your entire identity is centered around making her happy

The number one mistake you can make, is giving a woman everything

obviousredflag · 2024-04-18T09:28:22+00:00

Neither of those strategies is advisable. Both try to mask a neediness, but you cannot mask neediness. Work towards becoming non-needy and everything you do in dating will be a genuine signal of your non-neediness, which is attractive.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-04-18T13:29:02+00:00

Have you ever considered just being real yourself so you can attract your real match that would like the real YOU? If you play games to attract A random woman just for the sake of not being alone you can't be surprized it doesn't work out once the mask falls off.

izoldetales · 2024-04-17T23:39:34+00:00

Funny how both of those terms are foreign to women . It's like men have to take some added classes just to be allowed to be with a woman. It's kind to embarasing . OP , would you like to tell us which strategy women do for men ?

Sorry but the effort men put just to be in an " equal " relationships maybe a valid reason why men are falling behind women .

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-04-18T01:17:20+00:00

How is “act like who you actually are instead of pretending to be someone else” not the first option?

Every other option is how men wind up divorced.

RubyDiscus · 2024-04-18T01:05:31+00:00

Both strategies are stupid.

Just a healthy level of texting is good

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tacticaltossaway · 2024-04-17T23:39:15+00:00

In order for playing cool (i.e. coy) to work, you need to have already instigated some attraction (i.e. lovebombing).

This creates the "push and pull".

toasterchild · 2024-04-17T23:41:23+00:00

Different strategies work on different types of people. If one set playbook worked on all women then all this shit wouldn't exist at all because you would all just play the same game every time. Red pill strategy is generally set to trigger anxiety response and make her feel insecure.

Over_Noise3530 · 2024-04-18T02:43:56+00:00

I prefer your way. Men should initiate, but love bombing us cringe

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-04-18T03:50:02+00:00

You have to show some genuine interest but also be willing to not respond to them for a while. It's a difficult line to walk, it works better if you have flirtationships with more than one person.

But it's important to not act too crazy.

Hosj_Karp · 2024-04-18T06:58:53+00:00

Love bombing only works when they believe (truthfully or not) that you are attractive/high value.

"Feigning low interest" is more of a personal ego defense thing. Or how to act before you've established that your attractive/high value.

But also yeah, sort of a mix of both is what "works" the best.

Poor_Olive_Snook · 2024-04-18T18:46:35+00:00

Split the difference

CoolPersimmon4531 · 2024-04-19T15:13:52+00:00

Unfortunately, love bombing works on me. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it, though.

Feigning low interest wouldn’t work on me at all, I’d shrug and go on about my day.

NinjyCoon · 2024-04-20T03:51:59+00:00

Brother. Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate and control people.

Fit_Association4224 · 2024-04-18T02:27:39+00:00

Don't feign low interest. Seriously, this is such a bullshit strategy. Demonstrate your interest. Don't be afraid to like a girl. If she reciprocates, then you know that she likes you back. If she doesn't, then you know to stop talking to her because she's not as into you as you are into her. If she doesn't consistently text back pretty much immediately, sorry, bro, she's not into you.

Don't lovebomb under any circumstances. Girls know that they're beautiful and are used to romantic gestures. Don't tell them or do anything romantic until you know that you're serious.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-18T06:07:51+00:00

Being normal is more effective. Don't pretend you're feeling something you're not, just be honest. You're not indifferent and nobody wants to feel like their date doesn't give a shit. And you're not obsessed with them when you barely know them either and they can smell that's fake a mile off. You're going to be somewhere in between.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-04-18T14:18:45+00:00

Problem is you’re trying to use manipulation strategies for “pure attraction,” and it doesn’t work that way. If you want someone to be into you for you, you improve yourself as best you can and show a genuine level of interest.

Both love bombing and being distant can work on different types of people with low self-esteem, but neither are any way to build a solid relationship.

campskills21 · 2024-04-18T00:18:35+00:00

It’s all situational, some girls go all in, some pull back, some do both.

SpareSpecialist5124 · 2024-04-19T17:51:43+00:00

Feigning low interest is the best strategy for purely casual sex, they like confident men, but will see his lack of interest as not wanting her for romantic relationship.

Love bombing is the best strategy to LTR.

Goodgoy6969 · 2024-04-17T23:40:25+00:00

Feigning low interest at the start of the dating phase, first while...2-3 months

After that period, I found love-bombing workings but not as you describe. You shouldn't be constantly showering her with messages and telling her she is amazing, beautiful, etc. Do that, but limit it.

A manipulative way to love-bomb is to say casually "I could see you as a lil baby momma someday" or "I didn't think I'd start to feel towards you like I have begun to"

I have found with multiple girls, the mere talk of possibly getting pregnant will ignite feelings in them like nothing else. They become very emotional towards you and start to think you're a serious partner for them

Safinated · 2024-04-17T23:41:25+00:00

Both work

But not for everyone and not on everyone

Title	Love bombing vs feigning low interest
Author	jacked_degenerate
Upvotes	14
Comments	123
Date	April 17, 2024 11:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c6o5nq/love_bombing_vs_feigning_low_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/love-bombing-vs-feigning-low-interest.1515491 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515491

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