Men do not respond to words

wtknight · 2023-06-05T11:07:25+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

GooseneckRoad · 2023-06-05T07:34:08+00:00

I don't know, I think that a man not responding to words is a man who doesn't respect his SO enough to listen. That type of guy is not worth being with.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-06-05T07:42:16+00:00

This sounds loke an absolute last resort for if you can't break up for some reason. Why would you want to make the house you live in a pigsty to prove a point?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-06-05T07:46:31+00:00

All your advice sounds incredibly manipulative and unethical. If you wanna play one up games with your partner you need to take a long hard look at yourself. Honestly, yelling at him sounds like a better solution than all the mind games you posted and that's hardly a good thing.

NJFlowerchild · 2023-06-05T07:53:32+00:00

You don't add more toxicity and bad behavior to a shit relationship and expect it to fix it.

Away_Significance388 · 2023-06-05T09:34:26+00:00

I partly agree. It gets exhausting trying to talk to someone if their behaviour isn't changing.

The best way to do this is to communicate to your partner what you are doing and why so it is clear to them.

Buy yourself flowers and if he asks who they are from, tell him they are from a work colleague

Just say you bought them for yourself because he doesn't make romantic gestures despite you asking for it. I think that gets the same point across.

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2023-06-05T07:48:03+00:00

So your advice is to become lazy, to not communicate, and to make him think you are cheating.

eefr · 2023-06-05T07:48:19+00:00

Are you seriously advocating for passive aggression instead of talking through your problems like a grownup?

I'm going to stick to men who listen and communicate effectively. You can keep the ones who only respond to petty little head games.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-06-05T08:02:04+00:00

If a man can't figure out communication and doesn't respond to words... Break up with him. Don't waste your time

Infinite_Signal90 · 2023-06-05T07:36:46+00:00

Jesus Christ. This is fucking horrible advice. Just weird passive aggressive shit. If you can’t talk to your partner about behaviour that is upsetting and you have to communicate in a way that upsets both of you, you’re going to have a hard going relationship. Men understand words fine. If he’s not listening it’s cause he doesn’t want to and you clearly aren’t compatible.

ROBYoutube · 2023-06-05T07:27:36+00:00

Sigh. Yes, we do,

Gravel_Roads · 2023-06-05T08:49:03+00:00

This isn't "Men" this is just "assholes". Men are perfectly capable of having conversations and discussing strategies that can make everyone happy. A woman shouldn't have to make her own life shittier by letting the house to to shit, or by going out binge drinking just to make a point.

"Nagging" is generally just "asking you to do something more than once... because you still haven't gotten off your lazy ass and done it yet."

It's not a man/woman dynamic. Some men don't need to be asked; they're already up off their ass and doing shit. Some women are lazy, too.

"Women" don't need to be worse to make a point for "Men" to understand. If your partner is a lazy asshole, don't play games, just dump him and look for someone capable of respecting themselves and others.

gymbronyc718 · 2023-06-05T10:44:46+00:00

How to be passive aggressive 101

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-06-05T11:14:29+00:00

Or get ride of the disrespectful man and find someone that treats you right

Playing petty games will not improve a shifty relationship

RedditAlt999 · 2023-06-05T15:01:50+00:00

He hasn’t helped you around the house? Don’t do anything until the house looks like a pig sty. If he asks you why the house is messy, then tell him you thought we weren’t doing house chores anymore. He went to the bar with his boys and came home at silly o’ clock drunk? Go out the next weekend with your ladies without any warning or explanation and come home around the same time. If he asks why you didn’t tell him you were going out, then tell him you thought he wouldn’t be bothered by it.

He hasn’t taken you out on dates or tried to keep romance aflame? Buy yourself flowers and if he asks who they are from, tell him they are from a work colleague (don’t specify male or female). Take yourself to the spa, go get your nails done, go get your hair done and make yourself look pretty. If he tries to initiate sex, tell him you don’t feel loved at the moment.

Oh, so you do have to use words... The hilarious part about every single one of these is that they do involve verbal communication, the difference between them and a healthy dialogue is "preface your condescending argument-starting-words with petty actions that will probably start a fight anyway".

You shouldn't be giving relationship advice to anyone if this is not satirical.

Novadina · 2023-06-05T15:24:23+00:00

Damn this sounds miserable. Can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand words!

What exactly is the benefit to playing these games over just leaving and finding an actual adult man who does the dishes without you having to nag or play games?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-06-05T07:33:26+00:00

Or just dump the guy if the only way he'll get his shit together is if you're equally shitty. It's not worth your time and effort. I don't want to live like a pig just to get someone to maybe figure out he should take the trash out and clean the toilet every now and then. I'd rather be by myself and have a clean home.

RadicalQueenBee · 2023-06-05T08:30:26+00:00

Yes, this works, but I'd much rather be with someone who doesn't require me having to act shitty and who'll respond to my words. Being forced to act shitty to make him act less shitty sounds like a huge chore unless you're shitty yourself.

flakybottom · 2023-06-05T09:42:27+00:00

Just break up. I don't know why women coddle dudes like this when they have options.

No-Assistant-2592 · 2023-06-05T11:52:45+00:00

This seems childish and I would not react well to it at all.

Better is to talk with men like they have their own priorities wants in the relationship. Don't interpret them not knowing what you want as them not caring but as them not being mind readers. Because, let's be clear, you're not a mind reader either and probably miss a lot of things that he would like to be done by you. Speak like you want to be spoken to.

KayRay1994 · 2023-06-05T15:16:09+00:00

that’s…. toxic, manipulative and can border on emotionally abusive - if your man can’t communicate, the solution is to either try to build a better channel of communication or if he’s unwilling/unable, end the relationship. Don’t play these games cause in the end, the man coming out of it will likely be more jaded and angry than ever before and you’ve just developed some emotionally harmful traits - plus not to mention, such methods would turn you into the bad guy at the end of it soooooo

INFPneedshelp · 2023-06-05T15:50:18+00:00

This sounds like a lot of extra work to coddle a man

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-06-05T07:40:27+00:00

This sounds loke an absolute last resort for if you can't break up for some reason. Why would you want to make he house yoi live in abpigsty to prove a point?

Greedy_Parsnip1339 · 2023-06-05T09:31:35+00:00

Or just get yourself a new man?

echo979 · 2023-06-05T11:41:23+00:00

That's a terrible terrible strategy. There is no woman who would even tolerate the level of messiness at which I feel comfortable and happy like a pig in a pigsty.

After I clean, my female visitors complain that it's looking like an abandoned frat house

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-06-05T12:43:09+00:00

Immature men may not respond to words, but men who understand communication absolutely do.

SDinAsia · 2023-06-05T12:52:46+00:00

Everything you said is right. However, it applies doubly so to women.

Hoopy223 · 2023-06-05T14:35:23+00:00

LOL. I could see the flower thing working.

Really its communication breakdown.

Lemme tell it from a man’s perspective.

What usually happens is the guy will go “OK I’ll fix the sink that will get her off my back” and then a week later you get a new nag to worry about. Nagging will become a pattern and your marriage goes to hell.

Then you go looking for help and of course everything is your fault because you left your socks on the floor like the worthless bastard you are.

In my case it was me not making enough money for her to have the life she wanted. Her idea of a marriage was what she grew up with, a father who worked 70-80hrs a week and a mother who went shopping.

Other times she might be nagging you about dishes or laundry when in reality she is butthurt that you guys don’t go out anymore. Or maybe Susie at work had a huge bouquet of flowers for her birthday and you bought your wife a plastic plant. “Look honey its great you don’t have to water it or anything!” Lol.

just_a_place · 2023-06-06T05:45:00+00:00

It always amazes me that women need to be explained these things which are so painfully obvious.

Talk is cheap and meaningless, Actions are what matters. << Manonomics 101.

Then these are the same damned people who BS men for not "talking out our feewings." We emote through actions, NOT words. Talking is fucking stupid because it is never conducive towards actually solving problems which are the cause of those bad feelings. Our instinct is to solve the problem, to do something to remove the source of the stress, depression, anger, or frustration. Problems cannot be talked away. We need to think, and then we need to do.

That's also why we prefer to retreat and not communicate when something is bothering us because we are trying to deal with the problem. And then women go on and make it 10x times worse by talking and talking and ughhh!!! 😤

It is exasperating to no end how women believe that talking = solving.

Demasii · 2023-06-05T11:13:30+00:00

I tried this. It didn't work.

While I hate it, nagging is the only thing that gets men's butt off the couch.

kukkle1111 · 2023-06-05T07:35:30+00:00

Men do not respond to words, they respond to actions.

Of course men listen to words. Every married man I’m friends with spends his entire waking moment stepping on eggshells, tip-toeing, and being mindful of everything he says and does so his wife doesn’t have a shit fit, make his life miserable, and put him in the doghouse. What man in his right fucking mind would even ATTEMPT to go out drinking all night with his friends? Unless the woman in question is gone on a flight to Mars or some other neighboring planet, he wouldn’t even attempt it.

See the pattern?

Yes. Women date men well out of their league who have options and thus can afford to act like dickheads and then act surprised when they behave like dickheads.

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-06-05T11:58:32+00:00

Men do not respond to words, they respond to actions.

No. That guy is a dickhead and should be avoided.

Simple solution: show your frustration through your actions.

No. Communication is key to interacting with anyone. I have left friends who tried to play those games with me. I dont have time for that shit.

He hasn’t helped you around the house? Don’t do anything until the house looks like a pig sty. If he asks you why the house is messy, then tell him you thought we weren’t doing house chores anymore.

You realize HOARDERS are a thing right? Some people are fine with messes more than others.

He went to the bar with his boys and came home at silly o’ clock drunk? Go out the next weekend with your ladies without any warning or explanation and come home around the same time. If he asks why you didn’t tell him you were going out, then tell him you thought he wouldn’t be bothered by it.

Not everyone is high strung about their lover hanging out with friends.

He hasn’t taken you out on dates or tried to keep romance aflame?

Talk to him or dump him. YOU come up with the dates. Ask why youguys arent being romantic anymore.

There are men that can effectively communicate, but there are A LOT of men who simply cannot

Let them be the losers with no girlfriend.

gate18 · 2023-06-05T11:18:04+00:00

He hasn’t helped you around the house? Don’t do anything until the house looks like a pig sty. If he asks you why the house is messy, then tell him you thought we weren’t doing house chores anymore.

"oh great. I always wondered by you bothered"

If he asks why you didn’t tell him you were going out, then tell him you thought he wouldn’t be bothered by it.

"well I am"

Buy yourself flowers and if he asks who they are from, tell him they are from a work colleague (don’t specify male or female). Take yourself to the spa, go get your nails done, go get your hair done and make yourself look pretty. If he tries to initiate sex, tell him you don’t feel loved at the moment.

"And then bitches wonder why we cheat. My PurplePillDebate palls told me women don't want sex but I didn't believe them"

Legal_Strawberry2 · 2023-06-05T15:29:40+00:00

Mega response because I’m not going to reply to everyone individually:

To those saying ‘it’s toxic and manipulative’ or anything else along those lines.

Nothing is toxic and manipulative about reciprocating behaviour that is displayed by your significant other if you don’t see it that way. If you don’t want your partner doing certain things, or behaving a certain way in a relationship, then don’t do it yourself! It’s really that simple.

I don’t nag men, I don’t argue with men, I don’t yell at men. No man is worth sacrificing my peace or comfort for over a trivial thing. If he is doing something I don’t like and I have verbally communicated that once, and he hasn’t listened, I will simply see it as acceptable in our relationship and do the same.

To those saying that you should break up with someone who doesn’t listen. I’m not talking about consistent issues or behaviour, I’m talking about isolated problems that could easily be solved with a simple conversation, but he doesn’t want to play that way.

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MarBitt · 2023-06-05T08:18:24+00:00

He hasn’t helped you around the house? Don’t do anything until the house looks like a pig sty.

Men do not help around the house, but participate in the work around the house. If a woman stops cleaning, she will probably find that her man does clean things up, but is generally satisfied with a higher level of mess and dirt than she is. And what she hates, he still has as a tolerable level. What then?

Go out the next weekend with your ladies without any warning or explanation and come home around the same time.

Or he'll be perfectly fine and happy that she enjoyed it. What then?

Buy yourself flowers and if he asks who they are from, tell him they are from a work colleague (don’t specify male or female).

It's more about how she will express her joy at "receiving" the flowers and whether when she receives them from her man, she expresses her joy in the same way. These mind games can easily end up in such a way that her man becomes convinced that a flower from a stranger will please her more than a flower from him, and therefore, why should he bother to buy her something? And if she doesn't communicate with words, she won't find out what the potential problem is. She will only play even more extreme mind games with not necessarily positive consequences.

If he tries to initiate sex, tell him you don’t feel loved at the moment.

Refusing sex, the "good old classic". Well, even if he brings her a flower the next day, they will both take it that he bought it only out of obligation. And then what? She got a flower, they were at dinner, so she should have sex with him so that her actions wouldn't show him that he was buying it and taking her to dinner unnecessarily, right? And the next time when she rejects him, because she's not feeling well, he's going take her actions as proof that she's punishing him and forcing him to buy her more flowers and take her out to more dinners?

What if she has the health problem for few months? Her husband knows he can't believe her words because she plays mind games and rewards and punishes him in various ways and pretends she got flowers from colleagues even though she bought them herself (over the years some of her manipulations will definitely backfire). So he'll believe that even now she's punishing him for something, he'll try so hard for a while until she's downright uncomfortable and then he'll just give up because no matter what she says, he'll remember all her lies and manipulations, arousing jealousy and he will be convinced that she is unfaithful and has someone.

You can't use this type of activity in a relationship indefinitely without consequences. Yes, it can get a man active, but if a woman uses this as her normal communication strategy, it will destroy the relationship.

wtknight · 2023-06-05T12:12:33+00:00

Some of your suggestions sound like female dread. Women seem to have a problem when men suggest the same thing. I think that a better solution is to talk things out rather than resorting to dread. If a couple can’t come to some understanding and needs to start dread gaming each other, the relationship is probably too far gone by then.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-06-05T12:39:17+00:00

Yeah I'm not going to do that. Neither should anyone else. Just be upfront, say what you really mean. Men do understand language.

bluestjuice · 2023-06-06T01:18:13+00:00

Meh. Some men are quite bad at words, but they are not going to respond as desired to this stuff either. This is just acting out to provoke a response.

SteelFox144 · 2023-06-06T04:24:26+00:00

I can't believe you're literally advizing women to be passive aggressive. LOL

He hasn’t helped you around the house? Don’t do anything until the house looks like a pig sty. If he asks you why the house is messy, then tell him you thought we weren’t doing house chores anymore.

Wasn't this an "I Love Lucy" episode?

You know why this doesn't work in real life? The guy doesn't notice/care that the house is messy. It's not the 1920s. Most guys didn't even grow up in a home where a woman took care of the cooking and the cleaning. We have appliances that do all the really time consuming traditional "woman's work" so it isn't basically a fulltime job for one person and everyone does everything that's left. If a guy leaves a mess, that's his mess. He's not going to ask his female SO why it's there. It's there because he doesn't mind leaving it instead of cleaning it up. If he doesn't mind, he's not going to say anything. If the female SO makes her own mess, he's probably going to think it's fair because he has a mess too and he's not going to say anything.

Worst relationship advice ever.

Zestyclose_Title5585 · 2023-06-06T08:55:00+00:00

Men do not respond to words, they respond to actions.

How can you say something so sexist so nonchalant lmao

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2023-06-06T22:22:41+00:00

Or just LEAVE, jesus christ.

EmpressVibez32 · 2023-06-08T09:30:06+00:00

Yeah, I would just break up with him. Emotionally available and well men know how to listen to their partner's needs and compromises within reason. If you have to keep telling a man about something you're unhappy about, then he doesn't respect or value you or your needs. That's why many of them are in threads on YouTube talking about "80% of women initiate divorce" or "she left me out of the blue," when 90% of the time, it wasn't out of the blue and they just didn't listen to their wives when they were expressing their concern and grievances and the wives got fed up and left. The only action I would use to get through to a guy who does this is leave him for good. I'll be the lesson that he learns and hopefully applies to the next relationship that comes his way 😅 ima tell you one or two times and if nothing changes, I'm done. These men don't take women seriously until it's too late.

Title	Men do not respond to words
Author	Legal_Strawberry2
Upvotes	0
Comments	127
Date	June 5, 2023 7:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/141601f/men_do_not_respond_to_words/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-do-not-respond-to-words.1221365 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221365

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