Men dont love harder

blushingoleander · 2024-10-29T12:42:05+00:00

This post does not provide sufficient evidence that you know what love is or have felt it genuinely.

krackedy · 2024-10-29T11:16:04+00:00

I just don't think this is a gendered thing.

Some people love harder than others. Some people are willing to sacrifice more. Some people are more likely to be loyal and stick it out through hard times. Etc.

Not every human behavior fits nearly into gendered categories.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-10-29T12:02:27+00:00

I don’t agree.

Regardless, you won’t convince me of it. No woman I’ve been in relationship with in my life has ever loved harder or longer than I did.

fredwester · 2024-10-29T12:47:32+00:00

This is all just stuff that could easily be applied to women as well.

What you're describing is just a lacklustre partner. And that's not gender specific. With a childish view of love sprinkled in.

Sorry that's your experience of relationships, but don't put it on the rest of us.

Hot_Road3076 · 2024-10-30T02:04:59+00:00

The thing is, I did want to be romantic with my first crush, but then she rejected me and made me jaded about it. Now I would prefer not to be made a punk again.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-10-29T11:33:24+00:00

ChatGPT, work your magic!!!

The Reddit post you shared brings up some common stereotypes about men and relationships. However, most of these points oversimplify human behavior and don’t account for the wide range of personalities, experiences, and cultural differences among men and women. Here’s a closer look at some of the claims in this post and why they don’t hold up well under scrutiny.

“Men confuse love and lust, showing they can’t differentiate them.”

• Reality Check: Love and lust are distinct emotions, but they often overlap in early stages of relationships for both men and women. Studies show that both sexes experience love and lust, sometimes simultaneously, and both can struggle to differentiate between them initially. Men and women both feel intense emotions but may express or process them differently due to cultural or personal factors. Love and lust aren’t mutually exclusive, and they are certainly not “proof” that men can’t love deeply.
“Men’s love is conditional on the provision of sex.”

• Reality Check: While physical intimacy is important in relationships for many people, including women, to suggest that men’s love is solely contingent on sex is misleading. Research shows that intimacy is a complex, multifaceted need for both men and women, often involving emotional and physical elements. Just as women may want emotional connection and affection, men may seek sexual intimacy as a way of feeling loved and connected. This isn’t about being “conditional”—it’s about the many ways people give and receive love.
“Men leave sick partners more often than women.”

• Reality Check: Some studies suggest that men are statistically more likely to leave partners after a major illness than women, though the causes are nuanced. Men may struggle with caregiving roles if they haven’t been socialized to handle them or if they lack resources or support. That said, many men do stay and care for ill partners, just as many women do. Individual character, support systems, and social expectations all play a big role here.
“Men’s love vanishes if their partner gains weight or ages.”

• Reality Check: Physical attraction can change over time, but this isn’t exclusive to men, nor does it negate love. Many relationships survive changes in physical appearance, and love is often bolstered by shared experiences, emotional connection, and personal growth together. Attraction may be one component of a relationship, but it’s inaccurate to suggest that men’s love is only “skin-deep.”
“Men aren’t romantic.”

• Reality Check: Romance looks different to different people, and men express love and romance in various ways that don’t always match traditional ideas of romance (flowers, gifts, etc.). Acts of service, spending quality time, or even just listening are ways men often express love. Research shows that men in many relationships do express affection, but not everyone is outwardly expressive. Both men and women can learn to be more romantic in ways that resonate with their partners.
“Men never make sacrifices in relationships.”

• Reality Check: Sacrifice in relationships isn’t limited to one gender. Men and women both face societal pressures—women may feel expected to take on more domestic roles, while men often face pressure to provide financially or to work long hours, which can also be a form of sacrifice. Studies show that men are often willing to make sacrifices for their families, even if they look different from traditional caregiving.
“Women are more selfless; they often work full-time and handle most domestic tasks.”

• Reality Check: Gender roles still influence how domestic and professional tasks are split, but this doesn’t mean men don’t care. The traditional expectation that women handle more domestic responsibilities is shifting as gender roles evolve, with more men actively participating in housework, child-rearing, and caregiving than in the past. Studies indicate that couples who share domestic responsibilities report higher satisfaction, which suggests men’s willingness to contribute more equally in many relationships.
“Men won’t financially provide, showing they don’t love enough.”

• Reality Check: The expectation that men should be the sole financial providers is an outdated stereotype that many couples are moving away from. Modern relationships increasingly involve shared financial responsibilities, with both partners contributing according to their capacity. Financial dynamics vary widely, and love is rarely determined by one’s willingness to fulfill traditional financial roles. In healthy relationships, financial support is often mutual.
“Men say they can love and cheat at the same time.”

• Reality Check: Infidelity is complex, and motivations for cheating vary widely across genders. Men and women may both cheat for a range of reasons, and while cheating can devastate relationships, it isn’t necessarily about an absence of love. Cultural and social expectations around infidelity differ, but cheating is a human issue, not one tied exclusively to men’s capacity for love.
“Men’s love is conditional, transactional, and fake, whereas women’s love is selfless and constant.”

• Reality Check: It’s misleading and overly simplistic to characterize men’s and women’s love as inherently different. Love is highly individual and varies across people based on personality, upbringing, values, and personal growth, not simply gender. Both men and women are capable of selfish and selfless love, conditional and unconditional love.

The Takeaway

The post largely relies on outdated stereotypes that don’t reflect the reality of modern relationships or the complex nature of love. Men and women are socialized differently, which can affect how they express or interpret love, but generalizations like these overlook the diversity in human relationships. People of all genders can and do love deeply, make sacrifices, and act selflessly when they’re genuinely invested in a partner. Instead of reinforcing stereotypes, understanding individual differences and healthy communication are more valuable for building meaningful relationships.

RecentDegree7990 · 2024-10-29T11:37:53+00:00

the claim that more men drop their sick partners than women comes from a flawed study that the authors retracted, most studies shows no significant difference

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-10-29T11:40:56+00:00

Maybe men love harder maybe they don't. This is something that can't be measured and is something that most likely will be a few percent off in either direction.

You should just look at it case by case. I know relationships where it is super even, I knew of some where the woman loved their partner more and some where the man did.

I don't think that the points you listed are very good but I agree with the title of your post.

Dertross · 2024-10-29T13:36:08+00:00

Men's love is conditional, transactional and fake. Women's love is deep, selfless and consistent.

Lmao, this is a projection. Women did not come up with "men and children first." It's not women who are expected, and do, die for the other gender purely on a gender basis.

What's the selfish transaction happening when a father dies defending his wife/girlfriend? Or even just generally attempting to protect the peace?

whatever8482 · 2024-10-29T16:06:34+00:00

Men love deeper than women do for sure. It’s not too hard to understand how and why if you really know the mental frame of women

IcyTrapezium · 2024-10-29T11:20:13+00:00

-most young people confuse love and lust

-love for anyone who ain’t your child should be conditional. For me, a relationship without sex is just friendship. Everyone gets to define what they personally want in a relationship.

-this one is true, men are more likely to leave sick or dying partners. One study had issues but there has been more than one study done on the subject

-women are visual. I’m unhappy that every man I’ve lived with gained a lot of weight once we signed a lease together. It made me significantly less physically attracted to them. No, I didn’t gain weight. So what? Is that wrong of me? Or am I just honest?

-are you buying men gifts? I do. And all but one guy I can think of I’ve dated has given me gifts and or flowers. Dump these men if gifts are something you want. Plenty of gift giving men

-men make plenty of sacrifices. In fact, if it means they get to view themselves as the “hero” I’d say most men will make sacrifices. Now it might not be sacrifices the woman wants him to make like he works every single day and she’d prefer he help with childcare. But in men’s mind often this is meant to be something good they are doing. This is a side-note, but a lot of men confuse playing the hero with empathy. It’s not the same thing and men who play hero often don’t really empathize with their partners. But they do sacrifice. Just something I’ve noticed.

-are you saying my deepest biological desire is to be provided for? Yeah don’t put your spirit of laziness on me.

-women cheat and some studies show they cheat at similar rates. Cheating for women is definitely on the rise according to the research. Turns out when women don’t have to depend on a man, they feel more free to cheat.

-I don’t care for someone to do anything for me. What he’s gonna rob a bank for me? It’s a meaningless statement.

Devourer_of_felines · 2024-10-29T11:21:52+00:00

Men drop their partners that they have "loved" for years if they get sick

Lemme guess, you’re repeating the same nonsensical conclusion from this retracted study https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-reported-study-suggesting-divorce-is-more-likely-when-wives-fall-ill-gets-axed/

Men never make sacrifices in relationships.

Maybe the men you’ve been able to attract 🤷‍♂️

Modern men say they love their partners yet wont financially provide

Majority of households still feature man as primary income earner

Men say they can still love their wives and cheat. Big nope.

Women will literally have kids with another man and lie to their husband about it

thedarkracer · 2024-10-29T11:53:50+00:00

In literature, female lead in romance usually falls for a male having a certain status or money in novels but male characters fall for even a peasant. Seen in history a female ruler or a noble never/rarely married a peasant but reverse is for a male.

Men aren't romantic. The amount of women who never receive flowers or sweet gifts in a relationship is honestly astonishing, I would make a better man than biological men.

Then why is more literature around men fighting dragons to get a woman’s love but not the reverse? Why do men have to make the first move, plan dates, bring flowers and gifts but women don't do it at all? Never once heard of any woman gifting flowers or anything to a man on a first or second date.

-Men never make sacrifices in relationships. If he wants to play video games all day that what he does, men never give up on what they want to do in order to nurture their relationship with their partners that they "love".

Why do soldiers have the pictures of their wives in their lockets and wallets? Even those not forced into military, what is the driving force for them to join in case of an invasion? Don't see any females joining to protect their family. Personal experiences fathers use the old broken device but the whole family has the latest model, why?

Women are WAY more selfless, they are often the ones to sacrifice themselves for relationships. Women are the ones who often ruin their bodies so that they can have kids, or working a full time job while also doing the cooking cleaning, child rearing etc.

Proof? Men are more altruistic and the fact they sign up more for war shows that they are willing to sacrifice more than women.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38376350/#:~:text=Results%20from%20a%20meta%2Danalytic,received%20more%20help%20than%20men. (Over 100 studies show men help more)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10676355/#:~:text=However%2C%20several%20studies%20also%20show,request%20for%20help23%2C24( men are supposed to be more altruistic, check the two linked studies too)

-Modern men say they love their partners yet wont financially provide. This shows they're just out for themselves and dont love strong enough to fulfil women's deepest biological desires.

Why? If the woman has a job and everything, she can provide for herself. Will you be willing to switch roles?

-Men say they can still love their wives and cheat. Big nope. No one who actually loves someone would willingly break they heart of the person they "love". This is a big tell that men dont even know what the hell love is.

All cheaters justify it regardless of gender. So what when women cheat, we can say women also don't know what love is, right?

Your post is a rant. This isn't a twox, confessions or a offmychest sub. We argue with facts not rants.

Honest_Brief7434 · 2024-10-29T11:26:17+00:00

Don’t let toxic RP misogynistic men paint the picture of who men are to you. Good men are the most beautiful things this world has to offer imo. I’m being honest with you—if the rotten opinions of men here start to cloud your vision when it comes to men in general and what could be for you—it’s time to get off the internet.

Cactaceaemomma · 2024-10-29T22:21:10+00:00

This is how most humans are unfortunately. Both sexes think that the other is worse. I would say that most women make more sacrifices simply because we have to, but that's not universal.

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Ok-Party8338 · 2024-10-29T13:25:46+00:00

Women are the ones who get bored faster in relationships and fall out of love far more easily.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-10-29T11:32:18+00:00

Hi, I am sorry you have encoutered bad cases, but there are some truths and incorrect informations. This is a set problem that can explain what actually happend

The rules are generally set by attractive people (men and women but the attractive men are the ones who get the most). Even if women are generally ruled by hypergamy, men and women tends to attractive people. The level of attractiveness is correlated to the quantity of bad behaviour one can have and go away with. When you're attractive enough, everything is given to you for free leading you to be low effort and high maintenance

Unfortunately, attractiveness isn't correlated to how well one person will treat you. I have seen couple with a golden retriever man and a black cat lady, so I know a man can fall deeply in love

People are just bad in the vetting process. Unfortunately it's easier to enter in a relationship and if the vetting was low, it will certainly be a bad relationship. Men tend to be rejected and be single so we don't have to experience that.

That's why I am advocating to include in the educational system some awarness in the process of selecting a partner because some behaviour belong to the street. But yeah, women let a big pletora of bare minimum guy (bad boys, fuck boy, etc.) enter in a relationship and that's also the same for men

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-10-29T15:37:18+00:00

I think you meant to say that men and women have different conceptions of love.

Men love idealistically. Women love pragmatically.

OilJust4498 · 2024-10-29T16:22:57+00:00

>Men say they can still love their wives and cheat. Big nope.

Speaking personally, as a 37 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship, I would never cheat and while I wouldn't be happy with my hypothetical partner for cheating on me I would still be willing to be with her. After all if she's willing to be in a relationship with me (which has yet to happen) than she's got to be worth fighting for right? Instead of just tossing her aside like a piece of trash I would try to work through her infidelity and hopefully get her to put a stop to it.

Of course this is all hypothetical, I've never been in a relationship before so it's impossible to say how I would truly react in such a situation.

apresonly · 2024-10-29T16:24:28+00:00

If men loved harder the orgasm gap wouldn’t exist

MissLute · 2024-10-29T16:29:20+00:00

-Men drop their partners that they have "loved" for years if they get sick. While women often become full time caregivers when their partners get sick until the day they die.

wasn't this disproved

DaddyStone13 · 2024-10-29T16:34:44+00:00

someone got pumped and dumped

FreitasAlan · 2024-10-29T16:46:36+00:00

“Men confuse love and lust”. LOL. No. Maybe one affects the other? Maybe. But men know the difference quite well and discuss that often among other men. You just have difficulty identifying good and bad partners.

Intelligent-Insight · 2024-10-29T19:31:58+00:00

Real love is not dependable on physical attributes

No true Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge.

Physical attributes is who we are unlike stuff that we do. Women's love is deep? Yet they value what a man does for job, his status, etc. If I lose or change my job tomorrow, I am still me. If I lose my body I no longer exist. If I lose my job, I am still the same me I was yesterday. If I lose my leg, I am not the same me as I was yesterday.

just_a_place · 2024-10-30T07:21:48+00:00

We do love harder but here is your problem with understanding this:

You think we confuse love with lust. We don't. We know exactly when we love or lust after a woman. The problem is that precious few women are worth our love and the majority provoke our lust - exclusively - to some degree. This is in part women's own doing. Women are the ones dolling themselves up and instigating that lizard brained reaction out of us.

The litmus test to tell whether or not we Love a woman is this: Lust always, always, takes a back seat when the love is real. Now, knowing this, some women make the incredibly stupid ass mistake of then shit testing men to see if he genuinely loves her by withholding sex and affection to see his reaction. Men do not tolerate this kind of shit test and it has the real potential to kill the relationship then and there, even if it breaks his heart. I know, because I did it myself. Women severely underestimate how their disrespect is a love-killer, while leaving our lust completely unphased. That is why we are still very capable of having sex with women that we hate. Women have this insane idea that they can weed out the lust when in fact all that they accomplish is killing our love and affection for them, while leaving only the lust completely intact.

PlainTundra · 2024-10-29T11:19:38+00:00

I check some boxes and I am proud of it.

sun-_eater · 2024-10-29T11:30:58+00:00

lmao

you prolly just never experienced the love because you're unlovable.

it's OK tho- I haven't experienced women's love eit....oh wait no I have 🤭

Ganymede309 · 2024-10-29T16:21:56+00:00

New femcel acct just dropped

Goonerlouie · 2024-10-29T11:16:10+00:00

Surely this is bait because this is a ridiculous generalization

LordShadows · 2024-10-29T11:57:53+00:00

You have a caricatural idea of men.

But beyond that, I think you don't take into account that it is socially less accepted for men to be emotionally vulnerable and to show it.

And love, by definition, is a state of emotional vulnerability.

When a man shows his love, it's a lot more significant than when a woman does, because it means going against everything the world told him he was supposed to be.

I don't think there is a difference in how strong men or women love, but I know that at least a part of why men express their love less is because their pressured into not showing it.

In a similar way, women are pressured into hiding their sexuality because society tell them they should be "pure" while men are encouraged to brag about theirs.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-10-29T16:08:30+00:00

You’ve never had a guy fall in love with you.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-10-29T17:41:12+00:00

I don't think it's true.

Yes. There are a lot of lackluster partners. And it's not a gender specific thing. And there is a lot of attention to these lackluster partners due in part to social media/talking spaces that it seems like it's a common problem.

I also think that's where we have gone so objectively wrong in dating is we are constantly looking for flaws or that we may be getting screwed over. Because again most people associate most and react most to negativity than positivity. So hearing my partner just wants a bangmaid. My partner is only using me for money. My partner just wants sex.... Blah blah blah. And people trying to sell you remedies and self help to try and avoid this. It just makes everyone more apprehensive of each other. Where you just need better boundaries and to go slow to feel a person out. Also having the self worth to walk away if you notice bad behavior. Not all (insert gender) is out to screw you over.

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-10-29T11:49:49+00:00

-Men confuse love and lust. This shows their absolute inability to love if they cant even differentiate it.

Apparently women are incapable of feeling lust, and all they ever feel is love. Or so this poster thinks. When you're into the tough, assertive, tall dude at work, it's probably not entirely because of "love".

-Men's "love" is conditional on the provision of sex.

I'm sure you would deeply enjoy a relationship with a man you're desperately attracted to that wouldn't get into bed with you for anything. Again, women are incapable of feeling lust or sexual impulses, according to this poster.

-Men drop their partners that they have "loved" for years if they get sick. While women often become full time caregivers when their partners get sick until the day they die.

The study you're basing this on was literally retracted. Also, while I do agree that men do this more often, it's something anyone is capable of doing. Women are much more likely to leave their partners if they get fired or stop being able to provide as well, for example.

-Men are visual. If their partner gains weight or ages this so called love men have for their partners often vanishes. Real love is not dependable on physical attributes.

Yes, sex is a thing in romantic relationships, a very important one. If it's off the table or your partner becomes very undesirable for an extended period of time and refuse to do anything about it, it might be time to call it quits and keep in touch as friends if you get along well.

Also, "real love", pfft. Get over yourself.

-Men aren't romantic. The amount of women who never receive flowers or sweet gifts in a relationship is honestly astonishing, I would make a better man than biological men.

Have you considered dating men that are actually into you? Of course Chad LightningBolt Thundercock, who is like 5 points above you, may not be that invested in the relationship.

Every study under the sun proves that relationships are at their best/healthiest when people date around their level of attractiveness, because it maximizes both people's incentive to put effort into each other (as they are the best they can get to commit, on both sides).

-Men never make sacrifices in relationships. If he wants to play video games all day that what he does, men never give up on what they want to do in order to nurture their relationship with their partners that they "love".

Please refer to the previous paragraph. They will put in effort if they actually like you. "If he wanted to, he would" and bla bla blah.

-Women are WAY more selfless, they are often the ones to sacrifice themselves for relationships.

They are also the ones who tend to date up, so naturally, they have to put in a lot more effort to maintain the interest of their attractive partners.

The major downside to dating up is that, often, you will have to put in a disproportionate amount of back-breaking to maintain their interest and prevent them from jumping ship to brighter, shinier pastures. It's a cross you willingly bear, so good luck with that. Try dating "across the street" if this is too exhausting.

-Modern men say they love their partners yet wont financially provide. This shows they're just out for themselves and dont love strong enough to fulfil women's deepest biological desires.

So "deep biological desires" are cool when women want money and resources, but suddenly the devil when it's men's "deep biological desire" for sex and nurturing.

-Men say they can still love their wives and cheat. Big nope. No one who actually loves someone would willingly break they heart of the person they "love". This is a big tell that men dont even know what the hell love is.

Women do the same. I don't even know what to say here. I apologize. Also, you really enjoy throwing the word "love" around.

Men's love is conditional, transactional and fake. Women's love is deep, selfless and consistent.

Hold on, wait for it. Incoming quote, straight from her post:

-Modern men say they love their partners yet wont financially provide. This shows they're just out for themselves and dont love strong enough to fulfil women's deepest biological desires.

Ha ha ha ha. I hope this doesn't need an explanation.

Title	Men dont love harder
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	1
Comments	142
Date	October 29, 2024 11:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gervh3/men_dont_love_harder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-dont-love-harder.1533999 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533999

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