Single parenthood is bad for the kids.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-01-19T06:50:28+00:00

Nobody generally wants a kid to be in a single parent household if it can be helped. The problem, though, is that 1. It can't be helped if the couple is unhappy. Kid can pick up if their parents are unhappy, and may blame themselves for their parents' unhappiness, and 2. Society should implement ways to support kids, and it clearly doesn't. Part of society is that we support the weaker links in the chain, and children are one of those weak links. A child could have a single parent for many different reasons.

fucksiclepizza · 2025-01-19T06:50:49+00:00

Deadbeat dads are bad for the kids.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-01-19T12:11:21+00:00

Yes, single parenthood is bad for the kids. But I’ve never seen a study that compared the kids of reasonable single mothers who divorced for good reasons and the kids of single mothers who stayed married for bad ones.

Lightinthebottle7 · 2025-01-19T09:47:50+00:00

Single parenthood, PARTICULARLY single motherhood because of how women are often disadvantaged in society, is associated heavily with poverty.

The problem is mainly lacking social network and not single mothers. Single mothers are also more common, as men are more likely to give up custody.

Kids in poverty have less chances.

CatchPhraze · 2025-01-19T06:47:55+00:00

Single mothers? How about we frame it as deadbeat dad's?

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-01-19T13:55:30+00:00

Parents can be divorced, but the dad can still remain a very active participant in the child's life. Even if the parents don't live together anymore.

Call you kid. Take them out for ice cream. Help with birthday planning. Go to parent-teacher meetings. Give your kid the keys to your house even if they don't live with you.

A child of divorced parents should still have both mum and dad on speed-dial. They should still know that both mum and dad are there for them. Even if they don't live together anymore.

themfluencer · 2025-01-19T11:05:25+00:00

I’m glad my parents divorced. They’re not good for each other.

I was raised by my dad… very grateful for that and for him. The key to single parenthood is to have a robust village to help you raise your kids. My dad constantly had us with aunts and uncles and cousins and family friends to make raising us a little easier. It worked.

SnooCats37 · 2025-01-19T13:19:20+00:00

There are significantly less single dads than single mums. Single dads have so much more support from those around them that single mums do which means the kids are getting a lot more support too. Single mums end up single mums because deadbeat dads leave. The issue is deadbeats dads, not single mums. It comes down to attitudes towards men and women. I go out with the kids on my own and it’s expected cause I’m mum. My husband goes out with the kids and he is told repeatedly how amazing he is for doing bare minimum

abrazenbeauty · 2025-01-19T07:04:40+00:00

The phrase “single mom” is fundamentally flawed because it misdirects blame. With the exception of LGBTQ couples, there’s only ever one mom in a family structure. So why call her “single” as if there’s a world where multiple moms exist? The term itself is a misnomer, designed to shift focus away from the absent parent and place undue scrutiny on the one who stayed. Last I checked, the definition of a nuclear family, according to patriarchy, is one mother and one father. So if there’s an issue in a single-parent home, the problem isn’t the parent who stayed. The problem is the absent one. Let’s call it what it is: fatherless homes are what harm children.

Think about it. Who hit it and quit it? Who marked their territory by getting a woman pregnant, then disappeared? Who walked out of a marriage to start fresh with someone younger, leaving their kids in the dust? Who dodges court failing to fight for custody, skips child support and visitation, and misses school recitals? “Oh, your mom wouldn’t let me…” oh really? Or were you just too lazy to fight for your right to. It’s not the single mom who failed, it’s the father who chose to leave. The absence of fathers in homes, in schools, and in the emotional lives of their children, that’s where the harm lies.

Then there’s this: “Well, the single mom is the only one left in the house, so she’s the one doing all the harm.” Let me ask you this: what would you do if you were saddled with two jobs and expected to carry it all? Women are already expected to be the maid, the cook, the therapist, the chauffeur, and everything else when there’s a man in the house. The weight of running a household and raising kids falls disproportionately on mothers, even in nuclear families. Now imagine that man leaves, and she’s the only adult the children have to rely on 24/7. Yep, she’s definitely imperfect. Of course, there are going to be problems. That’s not a failure of motherhood, it’s a failure of abandonment.

“Studies show that kids fare significantly better in single-father households than in single-mother households.” Ah point. If fathers make the difference, why are we blaming women for being single mothers instead of holding men accountable for not showing up? If fathers are so critical, then the real question is: why aren’t they there? "Oooo oooo! I know! It’s the woman’s fault."

Let’s stop dumping on the single mom—the one person who actually stayed, the one person who is showing up and doing the work of two. Let’s call this what it is. Fatherless homes are strongly correlated with delinquent behavior in childhood.

There. Fixed it.

_weedkiller_ · 2025-01-19T13:34:37+00:00

This is because of domestic violence. If a child is witnessing DV it stunts their development because they are in a constant fight/flight/freeze. DV is very common (1 in 3 women experience it and 1 in 4 men in USA). I have seen this first hand with my child. After her dad left she was suddenly able to learn in school and increased the number of the 100 high frequency words she could read/spell from 20 to all 100 within 2 months.

Experiencing DV traumatises children. That’s going to be a huge contributor to their “delinquency”.

Trying to blame this on women is just plain misogynistic. What about the men?

Hrquestiob · 2025-01-19T06:46:54+00:00

Because fathers usually end up with custody after advocating/fighting for it and are presumably more invested in the kid(s). Mothers are the default parent and not all are equipped. If we only saw the outcomes of children raised by mothers that similarly actively fought for custody/were invested and not assigned by default,I imagine we’d see similar outcomes

And two parent households do better for obvious reasons

LillthOfBabylon · 2025-01-19T07:34:24+00:00

Correlation is not causation.

It naive to think two parent households are perfect and never produce dysfunctional children.

Plenty of spoiled ipad kids come from two parent households.

My cousin struggled being raised by crackheads, even when those crackheads were married to each other.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-01-19T07:51:13+00:00

You understand divorcing doesn't make one a single parent by default, right? If you divorce,just co parent through shared custody and be mature about it lol

Disastrous-Lynx-3247 · 2025-01-19T06:44:37+00:00

It is worse . Has anybody ever argued against that ?

alwaysright0 · 2025-01-19T09:59:57+00:00

POVERTY is strongly correlated with delinquent behavior in childhood.

If men cared about the effect of poverty and single parenthood on their kids, they wouldn't abandon them

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HappyCat79 · 2025-01-19T18:25:48+00:00

It’s a hell of a lot better than kids being raised in a toxic family. When the parents are miserable, fighting, no love and affection, disrespect, disdain, contempt, hate… kids feel that and it hurts them.

Sure, comparing kids in a happy and healthy nuclear family to ones who are being raised by a single parent will obviously show that kids with two happy and healthy parents who cooperate and love one another are better off than kids with a parent who is trying to do it all alone.

I’d bet that the kids who do the worst, though, are the ones who live in chaos, stress, and fear because their parents are staying together “for them”. My parents stayed together until I was 10 and I wanted them to divorce for years. I knew our family was really fucked up.

izzzy12k · 2025-01-19T19:14:50+00:00

Yes, kids in broken homes are at a disadvantage.

Mainly cause not all parents who end up as a single parent can successfully remarry or even find a real relationship that has the same family structure as the original one did.

This later translates to inabilities or much more difficulty with acquiring paid tutors and later sending kids to college or trade schools.. or other more financially gate-kept endeavors.

I believe this is more evident in families that were dual income households.

Aware-Resolve6740 · 2025-01-19T21:52:53+00:00

Water

kochIndustriesRussia · 2025-01-19T16:47:17+00:00

Yeah but.... women don't care, statistically. Most single-moms...wanted to be single-moms. Both my ex-wives thought they would be happier/more girl-bossy/mom-preneurial/hotter.... whatever the fuck, as single-moms.

Turns out they're just broke and lonely but.... can't tell women shit these days lol.

Ah well....I tried for the kids sake. Feminism won. Good luck kids!

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-01-19T16:50:29+00:00

I am baffled at some people seriously trying to shift blame from the man being a terrible father onto the mother. Like what the hell. What kinda of mental gymnastics...

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-19T14:11:15+00:00

This is 100% the case.

I’ll also make the case again, if women want totalitarian control over what happens to a kid and if they get to merc it or not, this must apply to the initiation of that process as well.

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-01-19T19:04:22+00:00

"Statistically, single motherhood is strongly correlated with delinquent behavior in childhood. "

But feminist women want you to believe that being a single mother is awesome and far better than raising the kid with a man. The lunatic Left.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-01-20T01:08:28+00:00

The core of the problem is that we’ve lost “the village.” Nuclear families were never the norm historically, mothers received a ton of support from extended family and other moms. Fathers often died in battle or weren’t present. I’m not saying dads aren’t important, but kids were raised by communities of women for most of history.

Single dads fare better than single moms because a) they are already exceptional for pursuing custody, most dads don’t and custody goes to mom by default, b) they tend to get a lot of support from their mother and any woman they marry or are in a relationship with. Single moms, however, are not necessarily special in any way - they could be total losers and still get custody so long as dad isn’t interested. They also are more likely to be left to raise their kids alone.

Training_Hold_1354 · 2025-01-19T06:56:45+00:00

Are these studies inclusive of widowed parents or just divorced/not together anymore?

CreepyVictorianDolls · 2025-01-19T15:00:00+00:00

I am baffled at some people seriously trying to shift blame from the man being a terrible father onto the mother. Like what the hell. What kinda of mental gymnastics...

NotMattDamien · 2025-01-19T07:22:02+00:00

Shaming “deadbeat” dads is patriarchy, I thought we wanted to dismantle that.

BrightAutumn12 · 2025-01-19T10:28:48+00:00

Women here are not taking any accountability as if they didn't have options to choose better. I don't care at all. You reap what you sow.

Cailan_Sky · 2025-01-20T05:02:36+00:00

Single mom by choice here. Raised an amazing man, he is 23 now. He had an amazing career, makes good money, RRSP, company stock, awesome benefits. Has never smoked anything, doesn’t drink, no drugs other than Advil, travels, never been in any trouble with cops or any Thor the kind. He has a great, friend group goi g back years..

Title	Single parenthood is bad for the kids.
Author	Open-Quail-2573
Upvotes	29
Comments	303
Date	January 19, 2025 6:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1i4scqa/single_parenthood_is_bad_for_the_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/single-parenthood-is-bad-for-the-kids.1541554 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541554

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