When you speak to previous generations about the current state of dating, what are their reactions ?

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-15T16:44:30+00:00

I can’t tell you the last time I ever spoke to my mom or dad about “current dating”. It doesn’t really come up. Before I met my current GF they might inquire if I’m seeing someone but it’s never on some “what’s it like out there?” Lol

The closest thing is when I’m in a barbershop and some of the old heads are talking about women but that’s mostly married or divorced men topics. Those guys are hilarious though I must say

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-06-15T17:52:39+00:00

I read a news article about women complaining about being fetishised on Tinder - I don't get it, just don't use Tinder!

Edit:

Here is one

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-04-10/asian-fetish-dating-apps-racist-demeaning/100056602

Notice how the way men are treated on Tinder doesn't rate a mention.

Sophiatab · 2021-06-15T18:56:03+00:00

My grandmother and great aunties think at least 3/4 of the men of my generation (and younger) are worthless losers that no woman should date and that a woman should invest her time in a high paying job rather than a relationship. When my brothers or male cousins whine about being dateless, the aunties will advise them that unless he looks good enough to be a gigolo (and is willing to be very submissive to her), no woman is going to spend time with a man who can't pay for her company.

Timmy721123 · 2021-06-15T17:05:14+00:00

My previous generation? The boomers? Marriage was the norm. A single man not chasing women was assumed to be gay or a loser.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-15T16:53:29+00:00

(F) I don’t mention those things because the older generations I know married before having sex so it wouldn’t make any sense to them. However it’s been suggested to me I don’t marry or have children. They see our society is in decline. They pity my generation for not being able to have what they had. They say if they were my age in this generation they would just be single and go for a high paying career because there’s no values or morals in society so there’s no point in raising children anymore. You can invest everything in your kids and this society will just fuck them up. Lack of morals also means less quality life partners so marriage is less desirable. Even though being single is much harder than being in a couple financially these days, is much more appealing to even older more traditional conservative generations.

Sage_Planter · 2021-06-15T16:59:44+00:00

I'm in my early thirties, and I have friends who married their college sweethearts and never did online dating. On the other hand, I have friends who are online dating experts by this point.

The people who have never online dated really romanticize the whole dating after college experience. They met their partners in person during a time when we're all constantly socializing so they've never had to actually put much effort into meeting new people. They look at dating apps with rose colored glasses and assume it's as simple as ordering a pizza from the Domino's app. Anyone who's dated after college knows how much of a slog it is, but everyone things it's easy.

BigCCPenis · 2021-06-15T16:36:34+00:00

boomers and older people are in denial about most things, because when they were younger it was socially unacceptable to talk about hardship. they also progressed too slow so aren't able to adapt to current social climates unlike younger gens.

however that doesn't mean the hardship wasn't there. i have old men in my extended family who qualify as incels, beta buckers, men who were driven to death by nagging wives, even my girl's grandmother told us that she fantasized about big policemen as a teen. etc. She is 88. Her husband was autistic, she was told by her girlfriends not to marry him in her 20's. Etc. She's a horrible bitch too and her husband essentially drank himself to death before 50.

You have to think about things empirically. War used to wipe out something like 50-70% of the male population of some countries. That's because it was easy to convince incels to fight. The numbers generally add up. Not much has changed. If anytihng it's still really easy to radicalize sexually desperate young men.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-15T17:02:27+00:00

I mean most women didn’t have OLD and were pressured into relationships FAR more… I don’t take any advice from other generations on dating because it’s changed SO much… it’s not useful info

GridReXX · 2021-06-15T20:07:01+00:00

My mom tells women my age that we know too much about men, about the pains of pregnancy and post birth, about the expectations of domestic labor etc. and we don’t like it. That we are actually too forward thinking. We can research and second hand experience everything.

She says ignorance makes decision making easier. She doesn’t think it makes life easier. But she thinks at least a life will have been made for good or bad or ugly.

superlurkage · 2021-06-15T17:08:21+00:00

I’m old (over 35!) and I totally believe it. Now that I have my phone, I rarely go to the store, watch TV or movies, or read a print publication. I’ve seen the porn out there, and see how much dudes now days play video games. Men now have their interactions with women saved on the internet forever

Nothing about the sexlessness rate surprises me

_lemazaki · 2021-06-15T16:55:43+00:00

Nah I did not have that conversation IRL with anyone yet. For 2 reasons:

1- They already complained to their previous generations too. We do that. There is always a "but" and a "problem" in the current generation.

2- I don´t talk about with anyone. I just want to benefit from it putting my self in a better position without people noticing.

LeadInfusedRedPill · 2021-06-15T17:40:11+00:00

I actually had a short conversation about this with my mother recently. She said she doesn't see people dating anymore, and wonders what's going wrong. She blames it on social media, and she's partially right.

Timmy721123 · 2021-06-15T17:05:16+00:00

My previous generation? The boomers? Marriage was the norm. A single man not chasing women was assumed to be gay or a loser.

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-06-15T21:13:42+00:00

The closest to this i had numerous times is "You still don't have a GF?" and every single variation of this. At one point i was so black pilled i just answered to my grandparents "You'll be dead before you see me with a GF". They couldn't believe a single bit and just said i only have to talk to girls.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-15T16:53:22+00:00

These aren't the only changes and I'm really not sure that these changes are universal and true for Russian dating scene.

I'd say that people here are more bewildered with a rising number of men and women who opt out from dating, get divorced and/or don't play their gender role. As we still have lots of people who believe that a woman's main purpose is to start a family and have kids, that family's well-being and relationships are whole women's responsibility, raising kids isn't a man's job (and men who do go to their children's school events or to a pediatrician get surprised, amazed and sometimes even weirded out and hostile looks), that men should provide financially, court and "seek out" women, that women should tolerate abusive good-for-nothing partners and that being divorced is a shameful thing. So a lot of them don't really welcome the changes and sometimes their complaints about modern generation can be translated just as "I've tolerated some shit, why aren't you doing the same?".

1948e8q0wir · 2021-06-15T17:54:12+00:00

I'm 38. I can safely say that things have gotten a LOT worse for men, especially after 2009. There is just so much working against average and below average men now. Dating apps like Tinder, social media, smartphones, and a failing economy. Add to that cancel culture and MeToo and you've got a generation of men afraid to approach or talk to women, and perhaps rightly so.

EleanorAbernathyPhD · 2021-06-15T18:26:14+00:00

All the women in my family (grandmas, mom and aunts) have told me to be independent and to not let a man control my life. They all had to marry because it was the norm back then and couldn't leave because being financially dependent of their husbands.

Men in my family are all cheaters who didn't had much relationship with their children and who loved to make those my wife is the worst hurr durr jokes.

I think everyone in my family would have been much happier if they didn't marry/didnt have kids or if they had waited for better partners instead of marrying young. They also love to judge my and my cousins relationships but we dont listen to them.

FatmanSlim93 · 2021-06-15T18:41:29+00:00

Talking to Gen X or Boomers about dating is usually a waste of time because of how much dating has changed. They won’t understand modern dating as they dated like 20+ yrs ago and stuff has changed a lot. The boomers seemed to be more about courting tho and Gen X kinda just muddled though it it seems.

KirthWGersen · 2021-06-15T16:48:40+00:00

I'm in my fifth decade.

It was so much more difficult when I was younger, simply because it was harder to meet a sufficient number of people without getting drunk all the time.

Nowadays it is so much better. I can fill my week with dates with very little effort whenever I feel like it.

Young people always think things are the worst they have ever been for young people. They only are if you choose not to the play you hand you have been dealt.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-06-15T17:00:49+00:00

I actually explained to my grandmother about Instagram, Tinder, etc. and she's pretty ashamed of the state of the world. She's not too comfortable with how women dress today, to say the least.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-06-15T17:27:36+00:00

As a gen Xer I give you my older generation take.

Its not that different, guys who weren't getting laid when I was 20 are the same type posting now, only they didn't have a place to bitch about it and get angry instead of fixing themselves.

Let me tell you about a dork I knew in college, was was maybe 5'8", blonde and blue eyes yet ugly, like the worst combination, and he had moles ALL over his body, like horrible ones. He couldn't talk to women well, he struck out all over the place. He was ripe for an incel sub. He had no chance...only...

He started to work out, got the moles removed so they were less of an issue (not 100% but at least not like "holy shit whats on your face" he was still 5'8 and still ugly but less ugly). Started trying to be more proactive and confident.

And guess what happened, he got a gf!

And she left him, for another woman...

But then he got another one! And dunno how it went from there but he got one.

Now imagine this guy (who was stem) ugly, not tall, facial issues beyond ugly, very bland personality, were to have found an incel sub at his worst.

Would that have made him self improve or just wallow in his misery?

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-06-15T18:48:45+00:00

I gotta ask , do any of you people on the PPD have kids or are you all still single ? I'm talking kids in their early twenties? My sons are early twenties , they don't complain about dating , guess cause they are always fighting off the chicks . I'm 42 and when I read through these responses I really feel sorry for a lot of you .

SaBahRub · 2021-06-15T18:15:34+00:00

Nothing about modern dating surprises this old

It’s not better or worse. It’s just different

Smooth_Potato_4014 · 2021-06-15T17:16:21+00:00

When you speak to previous generations about the current state of dating

Most posts on this sub tbh

Didotpainter · 2021-06-15T17:42:58+00:00

Most of my parents generation married young, well at least where I live, people were alot more innocent in the early 90s. I've not told my Parents about onlyfans and online dating as they would not understand it.

rosephase · 2021-06-15T18:27:02+00:00

My folks think everyone who is young is bisexual, non binary and non monogamous. There worry for the younger generations is about health care, education costs and silly things like ever being able to own a home. The idea that people aren't having sex until later in life is a relief to them, it's much more like how their generation worked.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-06-15T20:08:53+00:00

Speak to previous generations?

People, I AM previous generations.

- Gen X

nemma88 · 2021-06-15T20:42:10+00:00

They think the women are too loose and and the men are lazy.

I mean judging by the older old folk I know the men all ride motorbikes and went to lengths to woo and provide for their women, and the women spent time making and caring for family.

They don't really care about sexlessness as much as relationships not forming, because that was their way.

Niether men nor women are much interested in that life today, or being the man / woman of yesterday.

If you do want to be it you can still live it.

EfficientComputer5 · 2021-06-15T22:15:37+00:00

I come from the lower echelons of society. I cannot strongly relate to higher class groups and how they pertain to the question. In otherwords, the more financially successful and mentally stable groups.

The groups of older generation people I've met, most being low class people, have horrible relationships, filled with stereotypical bantering and abuses. Their attitude is a bitter and jealous attack on the youth, or the next generation, generally slandering their supposed ways and demanding a regressive movement back in time.

bordstol · 2021-06-15T22:27:20+00:00

They also had a hard time. People just look at other peoples successes and completely ignore all the rejections and hard times they had to go through to achieve it.

It's like the saying "We judge others on their actions, and us on our intentions". We only see the results in others, while in ourselves we also see the struggle.

KurkTheMagnificent · 2021-06-16T02:24:30+00:00

They are oblivious to the current state of the world. Beyond clueless. You can explain it and they will just stare at you with bug eyes.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-06-15T19:17:16+00:00

Another old timer (40) chiming in to say, "quit yer bitchin.'" Yes, in all seriousness you do have more mental work having to expand your game with more competition also all at each other's fingertips- you do still have almost endless options. This is so good it's bad, actually. That whole paradox of choice thing.

You still need to fix up yourself to actually meet her in person- but we had to do that just to get started. Didn't leave the house without getting our sexy on, b/c leaving the house was the only way we were going to meet somebody.

You also can't exactly walk around and hit on every cute girl in a bar in front of each other- but you can sit there and chat with multiple women at the same time via text message. For free. It's a trade off.

I still years later seeing Tinder get mentioned here, and guys appearing to actually try to use it. No shit it gets you bad results, it's mostly a sausage fest, and you're competing not only with Chad, but dudes with game making them giggle and snort laugh from message one we slip in their inbox.

Message her through a more normal social media, with something genuine she might actually be interested to talk about. Use what you have, (your brains) with what tool you're comfortable working with (keyboards).

poppy_blu · 2021-06-15T19:38:36+00:00

The fundamental problem is your generation was tricked into believing that technology technology would substitute for the glue that has held humans tougher since the dawn of time — social bonding.

I admit you guys have it hard and got screwed in a lot of ways. That isn’t the issue. The issue is what are you going to do at this point to get past those barriers and create a life that makes you happy.

I’ll give you an example. I hear a lot of young people today crying about how hard it is to get a job out of school. My cousin came out of school during the 91 recession which if you look at the indicators was far worse than anything from the last 10 years. Never once heard him complain. He worked two customer service jobs, did landscaping on the weekend and did what he had to do until something came up and when it did he didn’t turn it down because “it didn’t pay enough,” “it wasn’t in his field,” or “it doesn’t sound like an interesting job.” He kept working toward his goals and today he actually co owns an It company.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-15T19:14:50+00:00

I always say my father gave me a lot of great advice when it came to dating but he was 41 when I was born so some of the shit he gave me as I got older was a little outdated lol, and it's not something we talk about a whole bunch anymore but whenever it does come up he always thinks I'm exaggerating lol

thetruthishere_ · 2021-06-16T00:16:05+00:00

My parents know dating has changed and so have I as Im 50.

My parents think people have become wimpy, needy and whiners. Also stuck to their phones/social media. I dont disagree with them.

godandgoddess · 2021-06-16T00:58:28+00:00

One of the few older women in my family who didn’t get into an arranged marriage always told us young girls to stay single. She was in one of the better marriages I’ve seen too. It does make me a little nervous especially with everything I know about other people in their 20s.

jpla86 · 2021-06-16T02:18:48+00:00

I don't speak to previous generations about the current state of dating because I've never had an opportunity to speak to them about it. I don't talk about dating with people anyways.

Gloomy_Extension_476 · 2021-06-16T09:21:37+00:00

My father (faithful to my mother through out their marriage, both seniors now) commented that dating became too available, too convenient, easy to get that it compromised both men and women when it comes to commitment; why stick to one boring person when you can try everyone? Get a better boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband?

No one is content as he would say, with the partner they get and always entertain the idea of a better, newer, and exciting person than who they're with sexually or emotionally.

The old generation had to rely on physically seeing eachother and going to great lengths to even date someone, and reputation is everything so you are very careful of your actions as your friends will be weary of introducing you to a potential partner. If you are a sad, worthless man then who would ever dare recommend you to their female friends? Or if you are female, why would they recommend a whorish woman to their male friends?

Nowadays you just swipe right and boom, a match and a hookup is made but what happens is so shallow and empty they keep coming back for more thinking that would solve the loneliness.

Khanluka · 2021-06-16T13:16:41+00:00

My mom used to work in a lab with lots of young poeple so she knows how modern releationships work better then me.

Title	When you speak to previous generations about the current state of dating, what are their reactions ?
Author	rivetcitymayor
Upvotes	28
Comments	195
Date	June 15, 2021 4:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o0igto/when_you_speak_to_previous_generations_about_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-you-speak-to-previous-generations-about-the.784069 https://theredarchive.com/post/784069

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