TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

  • Subreddits

      Popular

    • /r/askTRP
    • /r/TheRedPill
    • /r/MarriedRedPill
    • /r/MensRights
    • /r/MGTOW
    • /r/PurplePillDebate
    • /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
    • /r/seduction
    • /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
    • Other

      • /r/AllPillDebate
      • /r/AlreadyRed
      • /r/altTRP
      • /r/AntiFeminists
      • /r/askFDS
      • /r/askMRP
      • /r/askRPC
      • /r/becomeaman
      • /r/BlackPillScience
      • /r/Chadfish
      • /r/Divorce_Men
      • /r/EverydayMisandry
      • /r/ExRedPill
      • /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
      • /r/FeminismStopsWhen
      • /r/GEOTRP
      • /r/MalePsychology
      • /r/Male_Studies
      • /r/MenSupportMen
      • /r/MGTOW2
      • /r/MuslimRedPill
      • /r/newTRP
      • /r/PussyPass
      • /r/PussyPassDenied
      • /r/RedPillBooks
      • /r/RedPillParenting
      • /r/RedPillWives
      • /r/RedPillWomen
      • /r/RedPillWorkplace
      • /r/RPChristians
      • /r/ThankTRP
      • /r/TheRedPillStories
      • /r/trpGAME
      • /r/TRPOffTopic
      • /r/TrueBlackPillMGTOW
      • /r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre
  • Blogs

      Popular

    • A Voice for Men
    • Dalrock
    • Good Looking Loser
    • Heartiste
    • Married Man Sex Life
    • Return of Kings
    • The Power Moves
    • The Rational Male
    • The Spearhead
    • Other

      • Alpha Game
      • Archwinger
      • Artful Prudence
      • Black Label Logic
      • Caleb Jones
      • Captain Capitalism
      • Corporate Machiavelli
      • Days of Game
      • Deep Strength
      • Dicipres
      • Donal Graeme
      • Female Misogynist
      • Free Northerner
      • Gaming My Wife
      • Hawaiian Libertarian
      • Illimitable Men
      • In Mala Fide
      • Justice for Men and Boys
      • Kill Your Inner Loser
      • KillToParty
      • Krauser PUA
      • LaidNYC
      • Mensactivism
      • NO MA'AM
      • Omega Virgin Revolt
      • Pook's Mill
      • Random Xpat Rantings
      • Red Pill Theory
      • Red Pill Wifery
      • RedPillDad
      • RedPillDoctor
      • Rian Stone
      • RooshV
      • Seasons of Tumult and Discord
      • Sigma Frame
      • The Feminine Woman
      • The Futurist
      • The Masculine Principle
      • The Modern Man
      • The New Modern Man
      • The Obsidian Files
      • The Private Man
      • The Red Pill Room
      • The Red Quest
      • The Rules Revisited
      • Troy Francis
      • Wintery Knight
      • Woujo
      • Young Man Red Pill
  • Books
  • Dictionary
  • @TRParchive
  • Support

Would you enter a relationship with a single parent?

movielover2018

January 28, 2018
6 upvotes
/r/PurplePillDebate
Archived from /r/PurplePillDebate

r/PurplePillDebate is a neutral community to discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/PurplePillDebate archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB
Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Share
Share Tweet Reddit Email
Post Information
Title Would you enter a relationship with a single parent?
Author

movielover2018

Upvotes 6
Comments 203
Date January 28, 2018 3:29 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7tku5s/would_you_enter_a_relationship_with_a_single/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-enter-a-relationship-with-a-single.263805
https://theredarchive.com/post/263805
Top posts by movielover2018

This is ridiculously sad. A father tells his kids about their mother cheating on him and she threatens to kill him. In the eyes of two legal advice subreddits, he is an evil, manipulative jerk.

2149 upvotes
March 13, 2018
/r/TheRedPill

Female UC student accused of sexual misconduct is victim of ‘slut shaming’

35 upvotes
May 15, 2018
/r/PussyPassDenied

Having sex with cousin?

22 upvotes
March 23, 2018
/r/askTRP

Women have equal opportunities in terms of education and work in developed countries

7 upvotes
February 3, 2018
/r/PurplePillDebate

Was browsing through some old reddit threads and found this gem, what do you guys think of it?

6 upvotes
February 21, 2018
/r/PurplePillDebate

It shouldn't need to be said but dont fuck your relatives. Don't even think about fucking them

4 upvotes
April 2, 2018
/r/TheRedPill

Noob tips for guy about to go to college?

2 upvotes
May 20, 2018
/r/seduction

Is rape more about power than sex?

1 upvotes
January 30, 2018
/r/PurplePillDebate

Comments

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd22 points23 points24 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not in a billion years.

But I also don't want kids at all and am very upfront about this with any potential partners so I want to filter out any woman who wants kids at all, not only the single parents.

[–]LittleknownfactsVaguely Uncivil Comment14 points15 points16 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]dakruNeither11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]squidracer 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Never again.

I somehow avoided it through my twenties, and finally decided to become more accepting when i turned 30.

I regretted it just a few months after she moved in.

[–]reluctantly_red7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

Yes -- this! My ex convinced me she wasn't the same person she'd been when she became a single mom. I believed her -- my bad.

But I do leave the door open. My ex-wife talked a good game but I was a fool for not noticing she never followed through. Going forward my motto is "talk is cheap" -- show me what you've actually done. So I think the rare single mom who has really turned her life around is still dateable (after serious vetting).

[–]CityGirl2420 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

This is interesting to me, may I ask what it was she was doing wrong ?

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Many things -- a sample -- she didn't got to college after high school despite being very smart and having decent grades -- she drifted from job to job without a plan -- she dated losers -- got a drug habit -- stole from an employer (who was also a family friend who was doing her a favor by hiring her in the first place) -- got pregnant and went on welfare ...

She claimed that she had reformed and was not the same person she used to be. However, this was only superficially true. She did get an AA degree but this was only because they threatened to cut off her welfare if she didn't either get a job or go to school (she chose the easier of the two). Being smart she got straight A's but she never transferred to a four year college. The only reason she actually got a job after graduation was because she was set up in a welfare to work position with at a local government agency. Being smart helped again and she was able to advance a bit but she soon hit a ceiling due to her laking a four year degree. She kept on telling me how important it was to her to finish her education -- but somehow it never happened. The ugly thread that runs through all this is that she never took responsibility for her future. Time after time she did the absolute minimum -- and she had no agency -- she didn't make opportunities for herself she merely reacted to what was presented.

In retrospect it looks like I was a totally naive idiot to buy her reformed bad girl BS.

[–]CityGirl2420 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like she is lost, hopefully one day this smart girl will find her way. Yes I can understand your frustration with being with someone who has no path or ambition.

[–]reluctantly_red1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

hopefully one day this smart girl will find her way

I'm not holding my breath. What she did find was a clueless but very rich Beta guy. She's now happily spending his money.

[–]SecSlab 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Under age 40, I wouldn’t touch a guy who has a kid, especially if he isn’t involved in his own child’s life. That’s gross, how can a guy not even be involved with his own child? After age 40 I feel like there will be no choice, really.

[–]polyconfused381 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What if he was actively involved in his children’s’ lives, eg had joint custody? And why are you assuming something not in the hypo?

[–]cherrycoffeepie2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My husband and I were both single parents (and over 40) when we started dating. He's been incredibly involved with his children, and mine.

[–]alby33322 points23 points24 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I did. The father who was her partner at the time disappeared during the pregnancy then denied parentage to avoid child support. My so was supporting herself comfortably so she didn’t push the issue the guy was not particularly wealthy at the time and it’s fairly pointless to force parenthood on someone who doesn’t want it. I met her when the child was 7 months old and in all honestly I fell in love with her little girl as much as her. The absence of the father allowed us to put my name on the birth certificate a few years later. I obviously have told my daughter the truth now, it was a hard conversation but we’ve never discussed it again she’s 14 now. In all honesty I often forget I’m not the biological father (people often comment we have a family resemblance I don’t correct them).

As for the mother she was smart,hot and despite the obvious mistake of getting pregnant at 20 a responsible mother with a job. When we bought our house she tried the sahm thing but hated it so she went back to work we’ve since had a second girl.

I have no regrets but then I don’t thing my old lady is your typical single mother.

[–]grindlegrundle 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Aww T_T

[–]madscientistlove2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That is so sweet! I'm happy for you, and your family sounds lovely.

[–]CityGirl2420 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

What's a typical single mum ?

[–]CityGirl2421 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So happy it work out for you btw :)

[–]alby3331 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow it’s a while ago I typed this I think what I meant was that my partner never really absorbed the role of mother into her identity. Kind of like a “this is something I do not who I am “ attitude

[–]CityGirl2420 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Got you :) was wondering because I'm a single mum lol

[–]GinSmokeLies 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably not. I'd have a lot of trouble with jealousy I think, knowing he shares a child with someone else. It would be tough for me. But if I met the right person I might be able to get past it.

[–]JustAnotherOmegaMale 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd love to say I wouldn't but I just know my beta cuck ass will probably go for it.

Somewhere in the next 10 years I'm probably living with some washed up single mom and praying that her little brats will eventually call me "daddy".

[–]CityGirl2420 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What's a washed up single mum ?

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Nope; I don't want kids.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

24F ”doesn’t want kids”

😂

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, everybody laughs at me for that because of my age.

[–]Willow-girlSuffering from bovarian oppression3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Stick to your guns, Hon! I'm 51, never changed my mind and I'm glad of it now.

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd really like to live that DINK life especially since my boyfriend has brought up going to college.

[–]Willow-girlSuffering from bovarian oppression3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

DINK game is real, lol.

[–]msppdo4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah they did the same with me. And at 30 I want them even less lol.

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I think I will always feel this way since I'm really uncomfortable whenever someone gives me a baby to hold. I just want to give it back. My sister said she never wanted kids, but she always loves babies.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

People believe you if you're sterilized. I normally let people talk all their shit and then tell them. They only have one reaction.. "well damn... okay"

[–]RockinSocksII25F poiple INTP - Not single, Eastuss needs to know this0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I want to, but I've heard it can be difficult to get sterilzed at my age.

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think its harder in the U.S. hang in there!

[–]decoy88Black Male in London1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo!

[–]reluctantly_red3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Under certain circumstances. She'd have to demonstrate that her life is otherwise totally squared away. The vetting process would need to be more intense.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]LyaninaBlue Pill3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not as long as I can easily enter a happy relationship with someone who isn't a single parent.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

absolutely not. my husband has a son but they had no relationship other than CS, and that was fine with me. no way i could have survived him being involved with the babymomma and another womans kid taking up his time effort and love. im selfish like that

[–]decoy88Black Male in London1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

you are comfortable with a man that doesn't look after his kids?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

i dont consider unwed kids forced on a man by some hole who refused to get an abortion to be "his kids". i dont beleive in all this modern father bullshit. when i was growing up men and women divorced and the man fucked off and sent a check, they didnt cry and whine after their kids, they made new ones. mens obsession with their kids now is gross, novel, beta and gay

[–]mistercheeez-o____O-1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

mens obsession with their kids now is gross, novel, beta and gay.

Christ! you're a right peach eh? haha!

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I guess I just care about kids more than you do, that's fine. "Deadbeat dad" even to kids that aren't mine would rub me the wrong way.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

"deadbeat dads" was a tradcon shaming campaign in the 90s to justify the new regime of child support enforcement they used to "end welfare as we know it"

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

lol okay. shame or no. Deadbeat dads exist.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

nah. deadbeat HUSBANDS exist, not "dads". a bastard is a womans child

[–]decoy88Black Male in London0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

why would i care? i wouldnt care if other peopels children all died

[–]prostate-apostatespectacle beta0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I thought you were a straight dude .

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm not but I've slept with more women than most men here apparently

[–]WhisperSecretly a Talking Dog1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

So... one?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

rimshot

[–]WhisperSecretly a Talking Dog0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey, I wasn't asking for the play-by-play, just the count.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

rimjob

[–]prostate-apostatespectacle beta0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What cs, also if you are a woman how come you are so red .

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was born red, baby

CS=child support

[–]MoodyAres 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck no.

[–]carefreevermillionLook at me. I'm the Chad now.5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No way in hell.

[–]crackrocksteady7Jason tell me what you're chasing5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

lol fuck no

[–]miamishowband 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No way.

[–]FairlyNaiveRed Pill Man2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I saw one case where i would be ok with that, but that was an exceptional woman. In other cases why would i go for someone with baggage, if there are similar/better options w/o it?

[–]TheWhitestOrca2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t want kids of my own. I wouldn’t want to help raise someone else’s kid.

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

At this stage? No. My SMV/RMV is too high that 95%+ of single mothers are below my threshold.

If something ever happened to me to level that playing field then sure, anything is possible I guess. But dating a single mother is generally a desperate measure.

[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

dating a single mother is generally a desperate measure.

Sums up the topic nicely.

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

The whole 'Alpha Fucks/Beta Bux" dating strategy RP theory was very hard for me to buy into at first - and generally this still isn't always the case IMO.

But it almost always is in the remarried single mothers I see. Often the father of their kid was a dead beat, sometimes abusive, frequently, absent, etc. and these men in all likelihood never displayed any traits that would scream 'good father'. Yet when these women remarry the new guy is almost always passive, friendly, meek, etc. It's basically AF/BB on hyperdrive. Women in LTR look for resources, a single mother sniffs out the men she can get them from and manipulate in the process

[–]squidracer 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep, if you told be about AF/BB when i was 20 i would've laughed. After 30, it's quite obvious

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

especially for seeing female dating strategies differ from when they are 22-24 to when they are 28-30. Hilarious being one date in and a 29 year old asking about what I'm looking for long term, when the same girl 8 years ago wouldnt have even thought the same.

Regardless of what this sub thinks the wall is VERY real. Though the 'revenge fantasy' aspect of it isnt.

[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

TBH, my buddy seemed more of an Alpha, and he sure doesn't make any amazing money. He's turned into a total beta while dating her for sure. I think the BB of a single mother is a man who isn't shit that accepts that situation into their life.

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's well discussed how women date a man initially for a certain attraction - but slowly chips away and changes him enough until she is no longer as attracted to him. One can call it failing small shit tests that snow ball, others say it's getting comfortable.

It's the mans fault as much as the womans. So many men get a girlfriend or get married and think they are entitled to sex and attraction from there on out. While you can make the case that this SHOULD be true - especially if the man is providing - it simply isn't the case. You can never stay lazy as a man.

Continue going to the gym even though she says she likes you a little chubby better. Continue focusing on career even if she complains about not seeing you enough (to an extent on this one). Continue pursuing your unique hobbies, whether it be music/art/climbing/ whatever even if she says there are better uses for your money. Continue dressing well even when she asks who you are trying to impress. You don't want to ever consider cheating on your SO but you want them to know you can if you wanted to.

[–]GridReXXit be like that2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s how I feel.

Now no.

But as my options diminish maybe. It’s not ideal. But it’s only not ideal for me because I have no interest in kids at the moment. Especially not one I didn’t pop out myself.

Also it complicates things. Not just the child. But the child’s parent always being an active or present part of your life now. It’s a lot.

[–]madscientistlove1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But the child’s parent always being an active or present part of your life now.

This is the part that would put me off more than anything.

[–]free_reezy0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

sorry I'm new to this sub. whats SMV/RMV?

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Terper talk for Sexual Market Value and Relationship Market Value. You know the 1-10 scale men rate women by? Basically that, but applied to both genders. SMV focuses more on short term traits for things like a fling or One night stand, RMV more on long term traits

[–]free_reezy0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

got it. thanks.

[–]Kraleenearby the plantation12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Never.

I advocate to all other men and women not to enter into relationships with single parents.

I also advocate people to shame by-choice single parents since it's a strain on a country's welfare system; and all single parents really do is raise maladjusted criminals.

[–]movielover2018 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think there are exceptions with military families, or abusive SOs who leave their kid and partner alone, or widows, but for the most part... yeah

fuck them

[–]MoodyAres 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Single fathers are fine.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

they are certainly generally less culpable but i wouldnt date one

[–]Kraleenearby the plantation3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, sometimes.

Men don't have children, women do. So generally a single father is a single parent not by choice, most likely a death of the mother or something.

In the event that the man is a single father because he stuck his dick in crazy without protection or any thought of if this women will be a good mother that will stick around or not.

Then he is just as contemptible as the rest of them and I will treat him as such.

[–]HigHog 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Financially independent social worker/welfare drain and stable married PhD student/maladjusted criminal, sure, what's the difference.

[–]Kraleenearby the plantation1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't understand.

[–]HigHog0 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It was just such a silly statement.

[–]Mr_SmoogsThe 2nd most obnoxious poster here13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No. Single moms are a cancer on this society

[–]EsauTheRed3 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Absolutely not. I'd rather be childless and invest my time in my actual blood relatives, my nieces, nephews, and cousins.

[–]wekacuckstupid buggy bot1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably--I wouldn't rule it out. I have kids and I like kids so if we're on the same wavelength I don't see the problem. Possibly being parents is something we'd have in common. I'm happily married for now though so it's pretty abstract.

[–]PIBagent1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No way in hell.

[–]Doom_and-Gloom1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, I don't like kids. I don't even want kids of my own, let alone be stuck raising someone else's.

[–]speltspelt1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Marrying a single mom is evolutionarily more beneficial than never marrying, so men do it plenty despite the griping. If you go through, I don't know, Sexiest Man Alive lists or whatever, a ton of them have stepchildren, perhaps more than have extra biological children outside of marriage.

[–]BewareTheOldMan0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So...we can't count celebrities as practical examples. They are not like everyone else. Money helps a lot and changes everything.

Does anyone REALLY think Alex Rodriguez is putting any REAL work into raising Jennifer Lopez's kids? He has his own kids.

[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Been there, done that.... lead to a false DV accusation which lead me to TRP.

I wouldn’t technically rule out dating a hypothetically awesome single mom that probably doesn’t exist irl, but for the most part single moms are a mess and unwifeable.

[–]TheBookOfSeilCuckleberry Finn1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn. No love for or from anyone on this thread.

It would depend on who the people are. If it would be worth it, I would give them a chance. Relationships involve a little bit of effort on your part if you want them to be successful. I'm not so picky as to only take someone that seemed "perfect" to me.

[–]gabriotDidn't know it was purge week1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm open to it but the kid better not suck and the parent better be the absolute shit.

[–]grindlegrundle 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I would if I was older and established, but right now I'm 21 and still in school! I am in no way qualified to help raise a kid when I'm still a dependent myself.

[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

No way. Too much baggage.

My buddy just wedded and recently knocked up a single mom. Her ex was a former military(don't know what branch) person. Dude was out of state and barely took care of the kid. Dude would send my buddy all kinds of death threats and shit one day, and then try to do Christmas with everyone cause his kid was there. It was a mess. Guy was obviously nuts, and he offed himself back in November.

Now that story is more on the extreme end of shit, but even in a best case scenario, you have to deal with someone elses kid. Thats too much baggage for me. I have no interest in dealing with kids in general. I gain no enjoyment from any of my friends kids other than them tormenting their parents. I don't see the big deal with kids. If I am going to put up with a kid it better be my own. I know plenty of desperate dudes that have no issue with this, so it's all personal preference.

I often see and occasionally here, on this subreddit, how a mid 30's man like myself can have anything in common with a 20 something(like I tend to date.) How in the world can I have anything in common with a single mom? I does not matter what my hobbies are, most of her hobbies is being a Mom.

[–]wtknightHardcore Romantic1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, if I were single and I liked her enough I would. I'm in my 40's though. When I was I was in my 20's I don't think I would have considered it, and when I was in my 30's it would have been a minus compared to someone who did not have a kid yet, although I would have considered it.

[–]raginghamsterChad's Attack Hamster1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope. No reason to at my age (mid 20s). No advantages unless you love kids, and plenty of disadvantages. No shortage of women who aren't single parents.

Maybe my opinion will change when I'm older but for now it's a pretty clear cut preference for a long-term partner.

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Not unless I were a single parent for some reason. Or deluded.

[–]deathdef1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hell yeah if they are a good parent. I like kids but don't want one of my own and idm even looking after the kid. There's a lot of no responses here but I haven't seen a lot of their arguments.

[–]polyconfused381 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m married with kids, so were we ever to split up I couldn’t really justify not considering single moms as partners. I can’t even say I’d have an absolute preference for non-moms, I’d take a better quality woman with a kid over a lower quality one without kids. But I’d want to have my own kids with her too, at least one.

[–]MrPerfidy 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (68 children) | Copy Link

Maybe when you give your opinions, leave a brief sentence outlining your relationship with your mother and her own mate status in your childhood. Most of the replies sound irrational and bitter to me.

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!14 points15 points16 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Irrational and bitter? When you date a single mom you date someone who has previously displayed irrational and short term thinking behavior. Basically it means she got pregnant out of wedlock and kept the baby (shows irresponsibility, lack of ambition), or was married and divorced (shows irresponsibility, lack of long term decision making abilities). So right off the bat you are likely dealing with someone who isn't very ambitious, isn't very intelligent, and doesn't plan well for the future with rare exceptions.

So say you meet a rare exception. Even best case scenario no matter what you will always be 2nd fiddle to her, which is absolutely fair, but not ideal if you're a man. Also, when you enter into a relationship with her that is also a relationship with the father of her kid, meaning expect to see him at sporting events, birthday parties, etc. Hopefully he is cool, a lot of times he isn't. And then in terms of resources you are paying for a child that will never be yours and very often have a closer bond with the biological dad even if you treat him better.

Irrational and bitter? Hardly. Avoiding single mothers is the very definition of rational behavior.

[–]MrPerfidy 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

your reply to the OP was reasonable though and not one of the posters I was talking about. I was hoping to hear from the crowd that not only says "no" but then has to like compulsively dismiss the humanity of single mothers

[–]MrPerfidy -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I dont know why you would assume a man has to be in the picture still- you dont have teeth and cant growl?

And how could you even have any feelings at all for a woman that cared less about her kid than your dick? That's a gross woman that should make healthy dicks shrivel.

Isn't, "this woman cares about her kids," actually ideal for a man? You are talking more like a jealous older sibling than a grown and sexually functioning adult of reproduction age

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Sure I can spend the rest of my dating life with the mom making sure I can stack up against the kids biological dad - but why do that to yourself when it's easy enough to avoid. No point in adding additional trouble when you aren't gaining anything.

And as I said I completely expect the Mom to prioritize her kid over a new suitor. Biologically that's what she SHOULD do. But joining a situation where no matter what you already come 2nd? Again unappealing.

Sorry if you can't recognize the shortcomings of being a single mother in the dating world. I don't think less of them as people. But the knock of being a single mother, not to mention the red flags of decision making that got them to that point, isn't something high value men will even remotely pursue until later in age

[–]MrPerfidy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I hear you I am not saying that it's like wrong to not wanna go from single to family man overnight; sadly the thread evidently needed a voice to say that single mothers are not necessarily "cancer" or other such gems. Also then that connects to my general disrespect for trp orthodoxy, which asserts the primacy of human evolutionary origins but then just ignores the fact that single/widowed teen moms were way normal potential mates, probably even the default available woman

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Single moms inflict a massive cost on society but often it is the fathers decision to be absent as well that plays a part there, maybe even in majority of cases. Those calling them cancer though are just internet angry types celebrating at an opportunity to punch down.

As for your first sentence, that is still missing the point. I am single - I love the idea of being a family man and doing family stuff. But with MY family. Not as a provider for someone elses.

[–]movielover2018 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (58 children) | Copy Link

I would never ever come close to a single mom.

My parents have a great relationship and my childhood was great.

Single moms are just... Ugh. I can sympathize with some but I would never be romantically involved with them. Too much baggage.

[–]pinkgoldrose-2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (57 children) | Copy Link

What if there's no bagage? Like she slept with someone, accidentally got pregnant, kept the baby and the father was never involved. It's technically no more bagage than another girl who slept with someone but didn't accidentally get pregnant.

[–]movielover2018 11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

That's baggage.

[–]pinkgoldrose-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

So by baggage you mean kid. You should have said "too much kid".

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If she already has a kid they will always come before you, that is huge baggage in a relationship.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Well you don't want her to be your mom. I don't mind if you don't want to date single moms. I'm just curious because I wouldn't mind dating a single dad who had no other bagage than kids. I love kids and I would be insulted if his kids didn't come before me. I don't have the need to be someone's most important person. Just being part of his family is great honor.

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm just saying it's not unreasonable to view that as baggage. Apply it to men or women. If someone has a kid they will understandably give that kid priority over any relationship. That automatically adds a huge amount of baggage. You'll always be a third wheel. To someone else's kid.

[–]MrPerfidy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

but like the kid is part of the woman with whom you'd have the relationship...Wanting to "come first" in that dynamic is childish and, puny?

[–]MercedesBenzoAMGbringing percocets molly percocet back to ppd0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying it's wrong to put your kid first. It's just also not wrong to not want to be second priority in a romantic relationship.

[–]movielover2018 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh same thing. Kid = baggage

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (44 children) | Copy Link

That's a lot of baggage. It isn't just about the kid. That kind of a woman you aren't just getting involved with her, you are getting involved with her, her ex and her child. Even if the father doesn't even want to see the kid, there's still court that they have to go to in order to reassess the support payments. Plus, always the possibility that the father may change his mind and want to be involved in the kid's life.

Then there's the fact that if I create a bond with the child, and I truly believe that the child is mine even if he isn't biologically mine, then she ends the relationship, I lose that bond with the child. I'm not putting myself in that kind of a fucked up situation. I don't want to spend years of my life looking after a child that isn't mine only to be told "you're not their father, this relationship is over. Don't ever contact me or my child again". Or the flip side is, if the father fucks off and I don't have a bond with the child but I do my part in taking care of it, then the court system can force me to pay child support for a child that isn't biologically mine.

[–]reluctantly_red3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The bit about bonding with the child hits home. When the relationship/marriage breaks up you lose that child (and its pretty hard on the child too).

[–]pinkgoldrose0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (42 children) | Copy Link

I specified no ex. Like he's not paying child support and they never dated. But for the rest I understand.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

How is that possible? Did he die?

If you mean he moved to another country after finding out she was pregnant and now can't be found, then it shows me that she makes very impulsive decisions. That's not good. if I'm thinking about committing to this woman and giving up a significant portion of my life and assets to her, I need to make sure she doesn't make impulsive decisions. Next thing I know, she fills up our joint credit card by buying a $5000 gucci bag or some other shit like that.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

you dont HAVE to get child support, its not some automatic government mandate. as long as the woman doesnt try to get government money, she can voluntarily not seek CS from a man and they can have 100% private visitation etc arrangments

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, that doesn't happen. And if it does, it's so rare that it's not worth having a conversation about.

[–]speltspelt3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

it's the majority, actually. https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2016/demo/P60-255.pdf

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I skimmed it, don't see where it says the majority of women voluntarily choose to reject or not seek child support.

[–]speltspelt1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

barely over half of single mothers have any kind of child support arrangement, but fewer than half receive (or are due, a ton of child support never gets paid) formal legal child support

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

She's probably not the only girl to have slept with an exchange student from China. Oh wait...

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

I don't know what you mean. So your saying that your hypothetical single mom is the only mom in the world who got pregnant by sleeping with an exchange student from china?

[–]pinkgoldrose0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (33 children) | Copy Link

I was saying the girl who slept with an exchange student from China and got accidentally pregnant (supposing she was using contraception perfectly) is not more impulsive than the girl who slept with an exchange student from China and didn't get pregnant.

I said "oh wait" because the stereotype is that Chinese men don't get laid, but that was just a joke.

[–]BewareTheOldMan3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

PGR...please stop. There is no such thing as "accidental pregnancies." Pregnancy is a possibility EVERY TIME a male-female engage sexual activity. STDs are also a factor when you engage random and reckless sexual relations.

Calling it an accident is intellectually dishonest and irresponsible.

[–]crumblesnatch2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Collisions are always a factor when you engage in driving on the road, even with safety precautions like brakes and seat belts. Why are they still called "vehicular accidents," then? Surely, everyone knew the risk! It's intellectually dishonest and irresponsible for anyone to call a collision an "accident" when it's a possibility EVERY TIME you drive.

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Collisions and "accidental pregnancies" are not one and the same thing.

I will spare you the diatribe on collisions as that's another matter, but surely you are not equating the two...right?

Are you a Single Mother or something? If so, that explains your "analogy."

[–]crumblesnatch2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you have sex without the intention of getting pregnant and took reasonable precautions to avoid it, it's an accident in exactly the same way that getting into a car, putting on a seat belt, and getting t-boned at an intersection is an accident. The activity has a lot of inherent risk, but it's also expected and pretty much necessary to function in modern life.

Are you trying to argue that sexual intercourse always has the intention of pregnancy, rather than a risk?

I'm not a single mother. I've never been pregnant or had a scare. I don't actually need to empathize in this case, just understand the definitions of simple English words like "accident."

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Are you trying to argue that sexual intercourse always has the intention of pregnancy, rather than a risk?

Nope - not at all. Besides - it's impossible for me to be that stupid.

My English is fine. Don't assume my education. I won't assume yours...

There is always risk of pregnancy and/or STDs (from random sex) despite using protection. Assumed risk has little to do with intention – unless pregnancy is your intent.

Accidents are always a possibility every time anyone operates a motor vehicle, despite factors to mitigate risk.

People operate/ride in motor vehicles or other forms of transportation all the time and I have never heard anyone associate risk utilizing modes of transport with risks associated with sex. People don’t ABSOLUTELY have to engage sexual activity, but for most people to move to different locations in a town, city, country, or across the world the use of transportation is generally a necessity.

It's intellectually dishonest and irresponsible for anyone to call a collision an "accident" when it's a possibility EVERY TIME you drive.

It’s always interesting when women start conversation (on the internet) with sarcasm. You could have asked for a straight clarification versus mockery. It’s why I asked if you were a Single Mother. I picked up the condescension in your statement.

It’s why I don’t take you seriously. The way you talk to men in your life is acceptable for those men. Save that nonsense for them.

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I didn't assume your education. I observed you using a word incorrectly, and concluded that you either a) understand the word "accident" and are defining it in a way that is contrary to both common use and its etymology, probably for intellectually dishonest reasons; or b) don't know what "accident" means. Since this is a debate forum, A is more likely, and I assumed as such: intellectual dishonesty, which you conveniently highlighted by bringing it up first.

People don't absolutely have to drive a car either. Many people live in urban areas and take public transportation, or ride bikes, or walk, or take a plane, or stay home. It is not necessary to life. Sex, on the other hand, is something that Terps insist is necessary to (a worthwhile) life, and I've been happy to take their word for it. Sex also propagates the species, so on that criteria alone it's more necessary than driving a vehicle to work.

The way you talk to men in your life

You are not a man in my life. You're an internet stranger. If you don't like how I talk, block me.

Notice that I've done nothing but: reframe a quote of yours to offer an analogy, and then offer an argument for why the analogy applies. You've consistently made assumptions and characterizations of my person that are untrue.

It goes to show: men have egos made of ricepaper. AMALT. (That was sarcasm.)

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

To block you is too easy. I'm fine with dialogue, but you can do that without unnecessary sarcasm. Simply state your point or ask for clarification. That's a better approach.

If I consistently mischaracterize you, it's because that's how you represent yourself.

You're not the only one as other women do this as well. Men do it every now and then, but women are very consistent in this behavior so I respond in kind.

Polite and civil debate/disagreement is a hallmark of civilization.

Don't assume my ego internet stranger, you'll be incorrect...or maybe AWALT? >Cue sarcasm<

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Okay: please clarify your working definition of "accident."

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I submit an accident is an unforeseen event that usually results in injury, damage, or unexpected outcomes...be it serious, minor, or grave.

Accidents usually happen because folks ignore common-sense and safe procedures or fail to mitigate risk. Many accidents are preventable. I have experience in this area based on my career field so that's how I see these events.

Most people will always use some form of conveyance for travel, be it public or private. Public travel places you at the mercy of some other person/organization. Private travel using a conveyance/transport places responsibility on the individual.

Most accidents are a series of events that when you conduct a review, many will see are easily preventable. Of course there will always be the rare "freak accident," but those are mostly genuine surprises or based on unusual circumstances.

Mitigating risk could be as simple as leaving 30-40 minutes earlier for an unknown/unfamiliar location versus leaving at the last minute. When people are rushed, there is tendency to overlook or miss basic safety precautions. This happens all the time.

Regarding pregnancies - sans abstinence, there is zero form of birth control that is 100% reliable. I always advise young men of this information as some are either uninformed or behave as such. Spinning Plates is fun until a casual sex partner says "I'm pregnant."

I also advise a dual-pronged method, e.g. condoms for the male, birth control for the female. That’s a much better approach and while it still guarantees nothing, it mitigates risk. Nothing is ever 100% foolproof when it comes to sexual activity. It’s the base reason most people end up in life-altering situations and making hard choices.

It’s very difficult to rationalize pregnancy as an accident when it’s very preventable by making smart choices. I can accept someone else’s opinion the matter, but when people say "surprise pregnancy," a few simple questions will identify where the couple failed to mitigate risk.

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Accidents usually happen because folks ignore common-sense and safe procedures or fail to mitigate risk. Many accidents are preventable.

By this definition, how is an unintended pregnancy (assume mitigating actions by both parties: e.g. condom, birth control) not an accident? For that matter, how is a pregnancy without protection not an accident by this definition?

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The first couple with both persons using at least 1 x form of protection is at very low risk of pregnancy, but I accept a pregnancy might still occur - for that I can agree it's unforeseen and could be classified as "accident." I give them credit for responsibility and mitigating risk.

That's one heck of an "Immaculate Conception" though...

...how is a pregnancy without protection not an accident by this definition?

Sexual activity without protection is just plain irresponsibility. This goes to ignoring common-sense and removing safeguards. I don't have a good answer as to why someone would disregard preventive measures for pregnancy/STDs and still claim they are "surprised" a resulting pregnancy.

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Lemme try again.

Something can't be an accident if it doesn't result in "injury, damage, or unexpected outcomes." So your argument hinges on the idea that pregnancy is not an "unexpected outcome" of sex, and you don't view unwanted pregnancy as "damage," and therefore it is not an accident when people engage in sex without reproductive intent and it results in pregnancy. Adding protection to the equation shifts it toward a less expected outcome, which is why you view that as "more accidental," so to speak. Have I got that right?

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Adding protection to the equation shifts it toward a less expected outcome...

Actually no - with added protection the outcome should result in no pregnancy. The outcome should be known…no pregnancy. I suspect it's possible, but I have never heard of couples using dual or multiple forms of protection and still producing "surprise children."

You said a lot - bottom line is that sex without protection always has a risk of pregnancy. I don't know a good reason why a man would engage sexual activity without protection and be astonished that a woman might come up "unexpectedly" pregnant.

As man is required to pay child support to a random woman (carrying a pregnancy to term) or could possibly contract an STD. I am incredulous that a man would disregard precaution and then call it an "accident."

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Actually no - with added protection the outcome should result in no pregnancy.

So on the off chance that the the condom breaks and she gets sick and vomits up a pill, you're fine calling that an "accident" - right?

Calling something an "accident" is not a moral judgement. It doesn't erase the consequences or absolve responsibility. I get that you have a lot of feelings about unintended pregnancy, but that's no reason to be imprecise.

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not tracking...where am I being imprecise?

Also - vomiting up a birth control pill is not how BC Pills work. Women on "BC" become pregnant from no longer taking the pills as directed. If BC is that uncertain based on vomiting, I would discount it as a protective measure.

[–]crumblesnatch1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I observed you using a word incorrectly, and concluded that you either a) understand the word "accident" and are defining it in a way that is contrary to both common use and its etymology, probably for intellectually dishonest reasons; or b) don't know what "accident" means. Since this is a debate forum, A is more likely, and I assumed as such: intellectual dishonesty, which you conveniently highlighted by bringing it up first.

You've clarified that you know what the word means, so we're back to scenario A. And now you're pretending not to know how birth control works.

Yeeeeah, I'm done.

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Lemme try again.

"Birth control pills are up to 99 percent effective when taken correctly. That means taking the pill at the same time every day and following all other instructions provided by your doctor."

https://www.healthline.com/health/threw-up-birth-control-pill#modal-close

Regular vomiting or otherwise is not taking BC as directed.

I get why you're done - I don't understand you either...at least we agree on that.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well I agree it's not hard to avoid getting pregnant, but there are always people who say "I was doing all the contraception perfectly and I got pregnant".

[–]BewareTheOldMan2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

"I was doing all the contraception perfectly and I got pregnant".

Negative - sans abstinence, no form of contraception is 100% effective. Do NOT allow irresponsible folks any quarter in this area.

Even dual-pronged preventive methods are no guarantee - less risk of pregnancy, but still no guarantee.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's pretty much 100% effective if you're careful. But anyway the point was that the girl who slept with an exchange student who got accidentally pregnant is not more impulsive than the girl who slept with an exchange student who didn't get pregnant. You see what I'm saying?

[–]BewareTheOldMan1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

...sort of - one girl gets lucky by not getting pregnant, the other girl is suddenly pregnant due to her probable irresponsibility.

One young lady was more careful...or more lucky than the other young lady.

There was once a time where an out of wedlock pregnancy was very damning..

[–]pinkgoldrose3 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well there's nothing I would love more than avoiding premarital sex but men are very demanding in that regard.

[–]darksoldierkPurple Pill1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

The act of sleeping with an exchange student from China is impulsive. You know he's not going to be around long term. You know that contraception is not 100% fool proof. Therefore it's not the contraceptive's fault that you got pregnant, it's your fault for your choice of mates.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Fine, what if the dude's dead?

[–]darksoldierk1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, the dude being dead is the only situation that would let me consider entering a relationship with a single parent. But even then, the answer is still probably gunna be a "no", unless the woman is exceptional, which most women are not.

At the end of the day, I'd be raising a child that isn't mine. I'm not against adoption, for example, but in the case of adoption, the child is neither biologically mine nor hers. So we'd on even grounds. In this case, the child is biologically hers, which means she'll always have more rights as the mother then me as the father. My obligations as a father during the time that we spend together aren't different, but I get less benefits than a biological father would. And it's like I said, when/if the relationship falls apart, I either lose my rights to the child if I want any rights, or I get forced to financially support the child when I don't want my rights. At the end of the day, I'm subjecting myself to the "it's not YOUR child, it's mine." comment every time we have a or argument about the child. If, for example, she feeds it mcdonalds every day, and I get upset and yell at her for the child's sake, she'll say "it's not your child, it's mine. I'll feed him/her whatever I want", and I would say what? It'd be something that's thrown in my face every time she makes a parenting decision that I don't like. As I said, if I say "she's right, it's not mine, so fuck this, I'm out", the legal system then goes and says "the child IS yours when it comes to financial support. So you have to pay a portion of every dollar you make to support the child". So it isn't mine when it comes to parenting but it is mine when it comes to support. I get fucked twice and I basically would be paying to support a stranger.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

exceptional, which most women are not.

Pleonasm.

I understand it's a problem that you don't have the same rights regarding the child. Good point. I'd still do it for a widowed father's child even if I had no guarantee to be in the child's life forever. But I really like kids.

[–]darksoldierk1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, but you probably wouldn't be force to support the child financially in the case of a divorce or a breakdown of the relationship.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Hopefully I could still send them gifts.

[–]darksoldierk1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Gifts are a choice. Child support is not.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well I don't think realistically you will be made to pay child support to the child of the widow you dated, but whatever.

[–]darksoldierk1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Depends. If you date her long enough for it to be considered common law, then yeah you would. In my part of the world, if you date a woman for 1 year without a break of more more than 3 months, then your common law.

[–]pinkgoldrose1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You still didn't adopt the kid.

[–]darksoldierk1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

According the law it becomes your responsibility to support it.

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

What? That's a ton of baggage. It shows she is irresponsible to not take birth control and have random unprotected sex, and it shows she isn't ambitious to keep the baby.

[–]pinkgoldrose0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Personally I agree that it's easy to not get pregnant, but there are always people saying "I got pregnant even though I was using protection".

[–]truedemocracy3Such An Asshole!5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I choose not to believe those people, but even if that were the case an abortion is on the table

[–]Blaat19850 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The kid itself is baggage.

[–]carefreevermillionLook at me. I'm the Chad now.2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So I'm a chick, and the 5th out of 8 children. Both my parents had children with multiple partners, so all my siblings are half siblings. That was an absolute shit show for pretty much everyone involved, and the running gag in my extended family is that I'm remarkably well adjusted considering everything. I would not ever want my kids to have to endure that situation, even if I love my family and I want the best for them.

Still bitter and irrational?

[–]reluctantly_red0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My parents will be married 55 years this summer. My mom was a bit over protective but nothing extreme. We have a really good relationship -- no bitterness at all. I may have a bit more sympathy for single mothers because of what my mom went through before she met my dad. She was engaged to a boy from her neighborhood (East Harlem) she got pregnant about the same time he hooked up with a white girl (way more status for a Puerto Rican striver). The dick left her and married the white girl. The church put my mom up in a home for unwed mothers on the other side to the country (San Clara California) where she had a baby boy and put him up for adoption.

Ironically (and hypocritically) the guy who wouldn't stand by the girl from his neighborhood and married a white girl wrote a book celebrating growing up in East Harlem that is on a lot of college reading lists these days.

[–]crackrocksteady7Jason tell me what you're chasing0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

normal healthy family, mom was a bit overprotective

[–]MrPerfidy 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I dont understand the RP idea about this, because in our evolutionary origins, most mothers were single- the chad men that are daily masturbated with text walls died all the time in glorious combat with now-extinct monsters. There's no way there were even 17 year old women without children and within a few years I'm sure most of those fathers were in the entrails of predators or otherwise prematurely dead.

[–]MoodyAres 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

It's almost as if we live in a completely different environment.

[–]MrPerfidy 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

yes and one of us cites that exact evolutionary environment as the rationale for behavior today, so, if that is the case, why are single moms so contemptible? In your hallowed ideology, most mothers would be single mothers by 20 or so. Do you imagine that then, no men mated with them?

[–]MoodyAres -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes, and then left, which isn't possible today. Never did I say single mothers can't be good fuck toys. I just object to relationships with them.

[–]MrPerfidy 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

it almost felt like virility typing that right? I imagine you are well puffed out by now lol

[–]MoodyAres 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Probably not as puffed as your dick from stroking yourself.

[–]MrPerfidy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

haha I AM typing one-handed; a cat is sitting in my left hand. She's always pushing her nipples on me

[–]PBRScagsquad(((Prima Illuminatus)))1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope not raising another mans children, the ultimate cuckery.

[–]damaskrose2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, I barely even want to take care of my own kids let alone someone else's.

[–]madscientistlove2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Never ever.

[–]AutoModeratorBiased against humans[M] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Attention!

  • You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.

  • For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.

  • If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.

  • OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]buarthaDelights in homosexuality0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Aye, if I were single. I quite like kids but don't want my own biological children so it would be a nice compromise.

My partner has a son, but he didn't really have a hand in raising him and his son is only like a year and half younger than me so it didn't really affect our relationship the way an actual child would (beyond me getting mad when he visits and eats all my vegan baked stuff.)

[–]Neoprime0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only if she is godless/no religion.

[–]notworthmuch20xx 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

very reluctantly if at all, except for certain circumstances

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not a chance no way. Ever.

[–]BisquitBill 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No.

[–]DemonConsulting4" Dragon0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on why they are a single parent. If the mother of the child died or abandoned them and there were no other issues (like the child hating me or just behaving horribly or something), I wouldn't mind.

If there is an ongoing custody battle/ baby moma drama, etc. I wouldn't want to get involved.

[–]DaphneDK42King of LBFM0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Kids are great.

[–]CuddleLumpkin0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have kids. I’m in my 30s. If I found myself single I would pretty much expect to date fellow divorcees with kids. I think it’s important to state your demographic before we make the conclusion that single parents are undesirable partners. Of course some 22 year old single guy who may or may not want kids in the future, who is travel and heavily career minded wouldn’t want to date someone with kids. That would be a disaster

[–]LifterofThingsDelicate Feminine Flower0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If my bf and I for whatever reason split up? Yeah, sure. I'd be a single parent myself so it would hardly make sense to veto other single parents.

That being said at this point in time, if my SO died or left, I can't imagine being gung-ho to jump back into the dating pool. Eugh.

[–]Willow-girlSuffering from bovarian oppression0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have in the past, but I'm very glad my current partner is childfree! Think I'll keep him, lol. ("Bonus children," my ass!)

[–]1UPZ_0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

depends on how they became "single" parent.

Sleeping around recklessly with random men... NOPE.

Legit relationship that ended up sour or ended because of legit reasons, maybe she got cheated on?, or the guy changed or refused to "grow up" and accept responsibilities etc (but its still a red flag on her for falling for someone like that)... then YES. But if its her, who cheated... NOPE.

[–]Centurion530 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck no

[–]methylotrophMGHOW0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have, and I don't recommend it.

[–]WhisperSecretly a Talking Dog0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe if her daughter was over the age of consent. And hot.

[–]Alfalfa1210 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No

[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If she was still of childbearing age and could bear ideally two biological children of my own, yes. Gotta fulfill that genetic imperative, that's my purpose in life.

[–]Actanonverba110 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No. No way in hell.

[–]tplg 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

With a man who got a woman pregnant and then ditched her or couldn't keep her around for whatever reason - no, as it shows poor judgment or a poor RMV on his part. Also, the woman might still be part of his life through the child which isn't something I'm willing to put up with.

With a man who's a single parent because he's a widower - sure, it's the one case where single parenthood is acceptable because it's not the person's fault. But even then only if I'm 100% sure that he's actually with me for me, not just because he wants the kid to have a mother.

[–]HoChiMindy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm childfree so no. I generally consider single parenthood the result of poor decision making.

[–]HarpyMasterSeasoned C.C. rider0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only if it's a sex-only relationship, i.e. fwb, Otherwise, no.

[–]MonTrenA1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Na man that ain't me.

I try not to shop at the scratch and dent sale.

[–]skdjk100-1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What if the single mother was cheated on by the guy??

[–]MrPerfidy -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont understand the RP idea about this, because in our evolutionary origins, most mothers were single- the chad men that are daily masturbated with text walls died all the time in glorious combat with now-extinct monsters. There's no way there were even 17 year old women without children and within a few years I'm sure most of those fathers were in the entrails of predators or otherwise prematurely dead.

[–]pinkgoldrose-2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, especially if he's widowed that's free children for the taking.

Browse all authors
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter