What was your next relationship like?

Academic_Mistake_751 · 2024-04-28T01:28:34+00:00

Young sexy girlfriend. But nothing is perfect, she’s not putting out as much as I like it’s like having a Maserati in the garage and I want to drive it 3 times a dag

DuelCitizener · 2024-04-26T05:44:14+00:00

I dated this nice woman for two months, but I really felt I wasn’t giving her what she deserved so I broke it off – clearly not ready for serious relationships, so I’ve decided to not try the apps instead just be and find ways to enjoy my life, and if the right person comes along sobeit

roman_erudite · 2024-04-26T01:51:44+00:00

Nothing. The apps aren't working for me despite being at my best shape ever and I know for sure I'm a better catch than 10 years ago and it was easier to get dates then. Went on a bunch of dates but I was not impressed with any of them. Most aren't that interested anyway like slow texting or no 2nd date etc and obviously I'm not interested in chasing either. I just let it die and don't text again until they respond. Oh well, better alone than with a crazy.

MattyK2000 · 2024-04-25T20:08:36+00:00

I've been divorced about 3 years now, I guess I consider myself pretty lucky compared to most here. I've had 3 girlfriends, first blew my mind but she also was recently divorced and didn't want anything, 2nd was crazy, 3rd I thought would be my new wife. Sadly she lived in Missouri and I lived in Florida, we met on Bumble but made it work for a year surprisingly. We just broke up last week cause she wants a kid and I already have 2 and DO NOT want more. I think that is the main issue but the distance really sucked, we only saw each other once per month. Hang in there I guess, I'm trying to, we are both 35 at least, there are a lot more options for us than maybe someone older...not sure. Just keep trying, take chances, talk to women at coffee shops, church, gym, join clubs or something to get involved in your community. All advice I'm gonna trying to do myself, good luck.

Reflog1791 · 2024-04-24T22:42:03+00:00

The biggest tiddies in the county.

Embarrassed-Safe-670 · 2024-04-24T22:10:39+00:00

59 here. My options are widows and women who has been married three times. I found that I can't compare with a dead husband and the divorced women, well there is a reason they were divorced three times ! I will do the occasional dinner or ballgame but thats about it. I value my privacy and my way of living. I have three kids and three grandchildren for company. I actually enjoy eating frozen pizza in my underwear watching what I want on tv.

p71interceptor · 2024-04-24T21:19:48+00:00

I'm not sure bro. I've gone on a few dates and talked to a few girls on Hinge. I think I need more time to heal. They are out there but it's a mixed bag of career oriented women and single moms in our age range. It'll definitely be tricky considering I got two little girls to take care of 50/50.

probebeta · 2024-04-24T20:56:48+00:00

Lots of casual dating, multiple women in rotation, eventually gets exhausting and have to clean up my slate. I've been called jaded before, you should see me now, I'm that x 10.

It would be nice to have an LTR again, there are parts of that that I miss. But after you start learning womens behavior and their operating system it seems like a high risk low reward kind of investment. I mean ... I've been putting thought into this, if a woman isn't complementing my life in some way why do I want her in my house? Do my laundry and fold my clothes, cook maybe, feed the kids? Well no, modern woman is not doing that... You're doing that. So... Screw that! 😀

SuperConfused40 · 2024-04-24T13:51:55+00:00

It's been 1 year since split for me, 40yo. I have started casually seeing an old friend who I hooked up with a few times before I met my stbxw. She reached out and is crazy attractive and we vibe amazing together. She just wants to be casual, which I'm not sure how to do. It's challenging bc it's great spending time with her as a friend, but becomes complicated for me to separate the physical intimacy from what she wants (and is best for me) of being casual, knowing she can date other people. It feels like a strange quazi-open relationship, even though we are both opposed to open relationships. It would be easier if I just met her online and we were casual bc of that. Sigh...boundaries and understanding what YOU want are important.

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-04-24T07:16:41+00:00

I simply believed I had to be married to have kids and fell for the love bombing.

You don't need to be married to have kids. Many ladies seem to get bored with too much security and stability. I've seen it happen to much to bother and I don't do the soulmates thing. I'm into muses and companions. STRs, no more ride or die love stories.

I like women in small doses! Somebody's gotta help these 20-somethings navigate careers, housekeeping stuff, etc. and be their Naughty But Kind Professor who teaches them some stuff.

EDIT: And I get some lessons in love, too!

SecretDoctor8121 · 2024-04-24T06:21:13+00:00

I'm 36 divorced 3 years.....not even had an approach or talk to any women....Mainly because I'm too busy working two fulltime job to be able to pay for housing,bills,Childsupport etc etc.

One big advantage being a single dad is you can avoid/scare every women once you mention you have a kid.

So I guess I'm just gonna push what's left alone...but hey least no nagging

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-04-24T06:19:51+00:00

I'll do my best to explain. I met her a month after separation from my wife of 21 years she was 21 and a walking red flag. A hoe to say the least but the sex was good and she built my confidence. We both got heavy in to heroin. Lasted two years, came home from work all her shit was gone. I thought oh man it's gonna hurt it didn't. Met another woman shortly after. I'm still toxic as fuck but I'd done some soul searching. This one was also a red flag walking went too fast moved in house new truck baby marriage it lasted 5 years. Now I'm divorced . Now I'm back where I started with calluses where there should be a heart. I will not repeat the mistake. I still love these women. Want there lives to be great. But I will no longer accept nothing on return for my heart.

Business-Hope-5414 · 2024-04-24T03:52:56+00:00

Don’t ever get remarried … my money is sucked dry from lawyers criminal defense and divorce and I’m about to lose by job because due to a restraining order for harassment… apparently there are many forms of harassment.. like cursing at her more than once… for inviting her ex husband over my house hanging out with our son while I was at work. Women are vicious… the legal system is flawed.. I never want to see her again

karavan7 · 2024-04-24T03:50:06+00:00

You've got the best sex and relationships ahead of you. As soon as you no longer give a fuck, it will fall into place.

Legitimate-Match2675 · 2024-04-24T03:39:32+00:00

Fuck anything that moves. Then deal with your issues.

ciscokid12345 · 2024-04-24T00:34:59+00:00

The first relationship after my divorce was with a sexy little girl who just moved to the beach in Southern California from NYC.

She was 35, a VP of marketing, no kids, and about 95 lbs soaking wet. We fell into each other hard. So much hot hot hot sex. Her body was flawless unlike my ex who was blown out, sucked dry, and over weight.

Right when we hit about 3 months, I started getting a bit too needy and asked her if she wanted to meet my two kids. She declined and a week later broke up with me saying something like “you are amazing and terrific and I could see myself falling in love with you… but I’m looking for a husband to have my own kids with and you’re not even fully divorced yet”.

I was destroyed! It’s been four years and I still check her out on social media every now and then. She did find a husband. A rich lawyer in Newport Beach. Looks like they are happy.

In hindsight, she was right and I was not ready for another relationship. I also realized that I don’t want to have anymore kids. It’s a hard no for me. My divorce took years to finalize and most of my savings.

A couple years later, I found little 95lb hippie girl from palm springs with perky breasts, no kids, and a good job. She’s a better fit for me and takes good care of me and my girls. So it’s a happy ending after all.

Less-Chemist-9909 · 2024-04-24T00:23:20+00:00

Don't go looking for relationships right after divorce. You need to work on yourself and build yourself back up. You need to go into your ho phase. Nothing better than lifting weights and getting your pecker wet to move past it all. Both are confidence builders and fun.

alifeofpeace · 2024-04-24T00:00:06+00:00

I am far too wounded to let anyone in. Been separated for 10 months. I’ve been on a few dates. But im far too jaded to have any real intimacy. I have two young boys and we are in a custody battle right now. The last thing I need is a distraction.

The longer I remain single the easier it is for me to stay away. It is my wish to remain without a relationship until my boys are grown. I don’t want to subject them to a step parent fuck that

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-23T23:54:52+00:00

Your future is not set in stone. Enjoy the possibilities. You never know.

MartyMcFly7 · 2024-04-23T23:07:38+00:00

The first relationship during the divorce lasted 9 months. It helped me to realize that I was still worth loving, but she had mental health issues (was chronically miserable) and I didn't want to trade one unhappy relationship for another. But it was still a very difficult breakup. Despite her issues, we had A LOT of fun together.

The next relationship started as the divorce was wrapping up and we've been together for 2.5 years (and have moved in together). I can honestly say it's far better in every way, the complete opposite of my marraige. We share more of the same values, are grateful for each other, and are pretty madly in love (most days, lol). The emotional intimacy is much better; it does take some time to build, but not as long as you'd imagine.

It feels like my ex didn't appreciate anything and the GF appreciates everything! I'm not sure how long that will last, but I'm never going back to a relationship where one party has checked out.

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2024-04-23T23:06:59+00:00

Lucky for me, I met my true soul mate about 2 years later. I couldn't be happier. I also never thought I would meet anybody else. Don't let your ex (or yourself) convince you that you are not worthy of being loved and respected.

Character_Let_3982 · 2024-04-23T22:23:11+00:00

I jumped in right away. I was dating while separated. I had a one year relationship, broke up. Then I had another one year relationship. I was honest about my marital status: "my ex and I will never be together again but we are in the middle of a divorce." Both girls had early doubts. And they were valid. But they continued.

Both girls were high'ish on the corporate ladder. They were responsible. They were healthy. They were in shape. One owned a 1.5 million dollar house under a trust. There's no doubt she was financially shielding herself from everything including cosmic rays. The other was looking to buy... and honestly was shopping for a bf who could help her.

It goes without saying that ANY woman after the ex is going to be "the best ever" even if she's a train wreck.

But in my case, it was actually true. I wish I had been in a better headspace. Both breakups tore me up. The ex wife is a distant memory, not even a blip on the radar. Dating these two women completely erased her.

These two girls tho... wow. The latter in particular. I'd do anything for another chance. A lot has changed since we broke up. I finished the divorce, moved, spent a year going at it alone, grew up a lot, redefined myself a lot, got my finances back on track, stabilized, learned an instrument, lifted weights, etc.

I don't know if I'd recommend dating or not. Probably. Maybe.

There is so much life to be lived. Dates included: Rooftop movie, cinema movies, Paso Robles wine tasting, Flagstaff, skiing, speak easies, rooftop bars, museums, Hamilton, Dancin'! (embarassed to admit I enjoyed it), a few missions, holiday parties, a golf tournament, baseball games, football games, stand up paddleboarding, sailing, hiking, other travel, and other national parks.

The dream girl took me to a wedding reception in a beach house. That played out like a movie. It was the best party I've ever attended. She was just so awesome. We did New Years, Halloween, and other parties. I never had these experiences in two decades of marriage.

Anyway, I guess these are my takeaways. It's possible to have fun again. Dating should be fun first, soul mates much later. Dedicate a lot of time to mental health.

Damn I miss her. The gf. Not the ex.

Bernie51Williams · 2024-04-23T22:12:13+00:00

Um look.

My situation is very different as there never was any intimacy just sex, she didn't have real soul.

But if she left you and likely fucked you over there wasn't intimacy, even healthy women don't really experience intimacy you just give them the tingles. If she genuinely loved you why did she give up on you, or cheat on you, or abuse you? Understand it for what it was and get your intimacy from within. You got this.

You know when you look back on things with rose colored glasses all the red flags just look like flags.

DicksOut4Edamame · 2024-04-23T22:10:41+00:00

Currently in my next real relationship and I can honestly say it is better in every way - better communication, more fun, more trying on her part than the ex wife ever tried, and the best sex I’ve ever had. She genuinely cares about me and my well-being. It isn’t all about her in our relationship and she is nurturing and affectionate. It’s the complete opposite that my ex wife was

Title	What was your next relationship like?
Author	4th_times_a_charm_
Upvotes	17
Comments	71
Date	April 23, 2024 9:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cbh31b/what_was_your_next_relationship_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-was-your-next-relationship-like.1516169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516169

Comments