Leave 👏 those 👏 girls 👏 alone 👏

Subject-Mirror · 2020-09-12T00:38:24+00:00

If he tells you that you’re mature for your age, that means that he thinks you’re immature enough to believe him

juliesans · 2020-09-12T01:46:08+00:00

Even early 20s dating guys in their mid 30s... girl he just knows you’re an easy target.

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-09-12T01:33:44+00:00

Can we put this in all the high schools and on tv commercials?

littleredpartydress_ · 2020-09-12T02:39:29+00:00

I should send this to my fucking middle aged boyfriend who had sex with me not even a relationship with me at 15

gravesearcher · 2020-09-12T03:08:21+00:00

I've tried to post about this a couple times here in the past, but I don't think my comments show?

Something I want younger women to know is that these guys are not being rejected by women their own age (they would be if they would try) because they are ignoring women their own age and focusing solely on those who are too young for them.

I have a couple of stories; one about a friend and one about my now ex-husband that floor me every time I think about it.

NEVER feel flattered or complimented if an older man chases you. If you knew his reasons and what he was really thinking, you'd be insulted.

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-09-12T03:09:44+00:00

Does anyone else look back on highschool and remember all the 13, 14 and 15 yo girls who boasted about having boyfriends in their twenties? And how often it was within the earshot of teachers (mandatory reporters) who just rolled with it and probably never reported it? Cos I sure do and it’s so surreal because I never thought anything of it at the time, it’s only now I’m like holy fuck 😓

notalljustmost · 2020-09-12T01:50:06+00:00

While I was single I caught my porn sick limp dick predator ex online with his age set to 24 when he was at least 36 - I was 18. Would bet money on him still doing the same shit now, 10+ years later. Ugh those poor young girls

naturopathicfantasti · 2020-09-12T03:22:44+00:00

I retch at the things I allowed when I was a child. I was 15, he was 25 circa 2002. Pre iPhone/IG/snap etc... he groomed me at gatherings for meditation.

Father was dead and I was desperate for male affection.

Met up at a mall where he kissed me and told me I tasted like butterscotch (puke) 15 yr old me swooned. He took me on the city bus to his house. I told my mother I was at a friends house. I consensually let him use my body for 3 days.

1 day into this naked free love fest and faking orgasms like I knew I had too... you know, to make him feel powerful. he says “I let you cum on me, I want to come In you” and friends, I thought, yea makes sense. He didn’t know if I was on BC. He was trying to get me, an 15 yr old pregnant or just didn’t care. I took the bus home and didn’t think anything was wrong w any of it.

The god damn horror.

A few years later, I saw him with teen age girls at a block buster picking out tapes. I hid. I was still so young but I knew it was fucked.

Kids are so much more sexualized now. Knowing what I let happen to me, I can’t imagine what happens to kids now.

codename_epic · 2020-09-12T03:00:05+00:00

@All the underage girls on r /agegap

JaneIsaPain · 2020-09-12T01:44:12+00:00

Yeah my 11yrs older ex was such a bum in hind sight. Like he was at the same life stage as me at 20. I feel embarrassed to have dated him.

OompahLoofah98 · 2020-09-12T04:27:16+00:00

In my late teens I struggled with depression, social isolation, and the struggles of being an immigrant trying to start fresh in a new country. I sought the companionship of much older men (30s, 40s) and lost my virginity at 17 to my 35-year-old "boyfriend." Second guy I got involved with was 42 when I was 19. When I asked him why he felt comfortable fucking me despite being so young, he told me it was because we were both consenting adults, though he'd never dream of telling any of his female friends about it.

So many men want to rationalize their actions by citing age of consent laws but they will never take you out in public, introduce you to their parents, or tell their female friends about you. They know the playing field is unequal and society knows it too. They want to be predators without having to acknowledge that they are, in fact, predators.

I might have been legally consenting at 17/18/19 but I was also sexually inexperienced, dependent on my parents, youthfully ignorant, and mentally and emotionally vulnerable. Fuck anyone who thinks these extreme age gaps are healthy or normal.

Edit: Grammar and formatting.

moredollals · 2020-09-12T08:55:06+00:00

Me at 17 sleeping with a 27 year old. I'm 27 now, and boy 17 year olds look and act like kids. I'm fully aware I'm still young and act like a kid compared to my elder peers. But it's weird to think you thought you were cool because all these older guys were interested in you. No, they were just predators.

sxfjcg9900 · 2020-09-12T05:12:43+00:00

I really wish I knew this before my high school teacher groomed me.

Buckley92 · 2020-09-12T05:06:43+00:00

And teenagers,being edgy and angsty will disbelieve any adult who attempts to tell them this. Was a 16 year old with a 21 year old bf who was always telling me I was mature for my age, can confirm.

Betty_Bottle · 2020-09-12T06:49:06+00:00

Ugh! I have an ex (one of many, that's why I'm here) who after breaking up with me (on valentines day) started dating an 18 year old when he was 31.

That only lasted a few months and then when he turned 32 started dating another barely 18 year old. They are still together a year later. I swear the reason he doesn't want a woman his own age is because then he'd have to put effort in.

Seriously, if my 18 year old daughter brought home a 32 year old man I would ask what's wrong with him.

chateauduchat · 2020-09-12T03:08:04+00:00

The more days that pass the more truly disgusted I feel knowing that I was with a man two decades older than me in my early twenties. They don’t change. They keep going after younger and younger girls to manipulate, control, and abuse.

KY0203 · 2020-09-12T03:17:17+00:00

No matter how “mature” a female is for her age, it will never truly be equal in an age gap relationship, due to him having more life experiences.

Men prey on significantly younger women because they have less life experiences and are more likely to still be naive to men’s bullshit bc they haven’t been through it 20 times before. If they pursued woman their own age they know there’s a higher probability that she has the life experiences that have taught her the realities of the male gender.

Me at 28 is a hell of a lot less susceptible to manipulation and toxic relationships than I was at 18. I was always emotionally mature for my age, but life experiences play a large factor.

sinolevant · 2020-09-12T05:44:08+00:00

Why’d I just realize this at 23

LaBaronessa · 2020-09-12T03:17:53+00:00

For a time when my ex and I were separated (before I went back for four more years of bullshit to "work it out") I was 24 and the guy courting me was 39.

Everyone in my life, including my mother, said that it was "the perfect age gap" since I was close to 25 and my now ex and I are the same age. The only one who said anything about him being too old was my HV father who I didn't grow up with lmao

reidelmar · 2020-09-12T03:47:28+00:00

It’s so weird seeing it from an outside lens now being outside of the relationship... Shit still stings though when you realize that they will always go after the young, pretty model no matter how beautiful, intelligent and independent you are. It’s posts like these that help keep reality crystal clear.

RealLiveInternetLady · 2020-09-12T07:47:48+00:00

This is why I keep getting blocked from wedding planning and TTC groups on FB. There’s always really fucked posts from teenagers who are dating/engaged much older men and anyone who points out how they’ve been groomed gets booted for being “a hater”.

Kitty015 · 2020-09-12T02:52:00+00:00

They need to teach this in school. If I was a teacher I would put it on a poster on the wall.

sugarrrrrush · 2020-09-12T03:00:30+00:00

Yep. That's the line my 23 year old "ex" used on me when I was 16. A fucking decade later, I recently found out that he's been talking about and offering nudes of 14 year old girls. I reported him to the police and he's under investigation, and he has no idea. I wish I could see his face when they come question him!

unemployedwriter · 2020-09-12T14:19:30+00:00

I was 17 he was 24, I really thought I was so mature. Now that I’m 24, I can truly appreciate just how messed up it was.

4everdoe · 2020-09-12T17:55:16+00:00

Reading the comments to this post provides proof of just how many sick, predatory men there are out there. So many of us have been in relationships with older men looking to crush us. It’s happening everywhere, at all times. It needs to stop.

wolfsong55 · 2020-09-12T10:46:22+00:00

Spead the word! I got groomed at 19 by a 32 year old man, he wanted fwb I agreed until he took advantage of me drunk

adventurelillypad · 2020-09-12T14:38:19+00:00

This goes for 19 and 20, 21 year old women too. Just because you’re technically legal doesn’t mean its not going to be harmful to you in the long run or present an uncomfortable dynamic due to the age gap

InayahDaneen · 2020-09-12T06:32:55+00:00

This makes me cringe at thinking back to my teen years 😭 I really wish this message could spread like wildfire.

Hydroelectricpussy69 · 2020-09-12T06:15:57+00:00

YOU GUYS!!! I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS BEIJG CRINGEGY BY GOING TO SENIOR EVENTS CAUSE MY OLDER EX SAID IT WAS CHILDISH. HE WAS 20isj WHILE I WAS 17

bigandlittledog · 2020-09-12T06:59:01+00:00

I wish I would’ve known this when I was 16 :(

quixoticnymph · 2020-09-12T09:18:15+00:00

I was freshly 18 he was 27. I didnt realize the term "groomed" until recently, but always knew thats what he did. Everything was consensual, but he had no business being with me and definitely took advantage of my naivity. It was the way he looked at me. Things that he would say to me. All of it was convincing me along a ride of his ulterior motives. He knew what he was doing and sadly he did this to everyone. He was all around a terrible person once you get past the "charm." It lasted 2 years then he got physically abusive. Only one time though. I was at least strong enough to leave it right away. The relationship ended up damaging me enough though. It was the main reason I ruined my college career...something I still get pissed at myself about many years later. Im constantly thinking 'what if I didnt fall into that trap?' I know some things following in life wouldve been a lot different. Everyone now and then I search public records to see what damage he has done next. The latest stint that got him only 2 yrs sentence was sexual misconduct and criminal confinement of a minor.

BrownIrish · 2020-09-12T02:53:11+00:00

Just took a screenshot and sent this to my 17 year old. She started her first job at McDonald’s this week and I gave her a similar warning. Parenting ain’t no joke, y’all.

Skyyward_ · 2020-09-12T10:21:41+00:00

Everyone says this sub is full of extreme feminism and hatred towards men. This is the first post I saw of the subreddit, and I pretty much totally agree with its statement. Keep it up and dont get lost in the fight yall

Buckley92 · 2020-09-12T05:18:50+00:00

Random question, what would you guys say about age gaps in lesbian relationships? Or where the woman is older and the guy younger?

kumquatmaya · 2020-09-17T02:27:57+00:00

This. So much this. I’m sending this to my friend’s teenage daughter who thinks she’s mature because older guys are into her 🤢

ovelhaloira · 2020-09-12T09:54:29+00:00

Just curious... What do y'all think about 18-25/19-26 relationships?

Title	Leave 👏 those 👏 girls 👏 alone 👏
Author	GuineveresGrace
Upvotes	4168
Comments	114
Date	September 12, 2020 12:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ir2j8j/leave_those_girls_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/leave-those-girls-alone.214591 https://theredarchive.com/post/214591

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