I posted this as a comment in the weekly thread and got some great responses that prompted me to write this.

Let me start off by saying: FDS official stance is NOT clapping back or calling them out or anything like that. When a man has shown you he sucks and you are cutting him out of your life, you BLOCK and DELETE.

Why don’t we support clapbacks? There are many reasons, here are the ones I have seen and thought about in no particular order:

When you tell him all the ways he sucked, you are teaching him how to hide himself better for the next woman.

Obviously we as women are on some level looking out for one another. I would feel terrible if I accidentally led some guy to learn how to hide his terrible traits better and be able to use that on another woman.

He is not going to think “oh wow, she’s right. I’m really toxic :( I’m ashamed.”

Never ever. He is going to think it’s funny you spent all this time and energy typing up some dumb shit (his words, not mine) to him, and he’s going to laugh at you.

HE IS NOT GOING TO FEEL SORRY.

Let me tell you. One time I went on a date with a man. Then I ghosted him because I didn’t like him, but being pre-fds I did not block and delete (or even block). He sent me this long-ass text about how hurt he was and he thought we had a gEnUine cOnNecTioN 😂 I’m not gonna lie, I’m typically a nice and empathetic person but this shit cracked me UP I was sending it to all my friends and we were laughing at it. Imagine that’s how the guy you’re “clapping back” at will react. It’s definitely more likely than him feeling remorse.

You are demonstrating that you still value what he thinks, and you’re still focused on him.

If you really felt over him, you would block and delete. If you fully acknowledged he is bad news and doesn’t bring value to your life, you would block and delete. Clapping back is often motivated by wanting to make him feel bad. Fds is not about that. Fds is about rising above and feeling peaceful in the fact that he will never enter your life again.

I have seen on many posts the argument of “closure,” and although I vaguely see where that’s coming from, closure as a concept is not supported by FDS either. You are the only person who can make yourself move on from a relationship. You don’t need to bring him into your closure.

Meta-reason: posting your clapbacks here encourages other FDS women to do the same and is anti-FDS.

It’s anti-FDS, it is explicitly discouraged in the handbook. Why post these here when you know people in the comments will probably be telling you you shouldn’t have done it?

They also, for some reason, get wildly upvoted, so many people see them and might get the impression that FDS does support clapping back, which is not correct.

Anyways thanks for reading and I do hope moving forward we will have less of these! Also I was told to report these when I see them, so y’all feel free to do the same.