FDS to the rescue!

sleepysiri · 2021-07-03T13:57:50+00:00

Not cooking and cleaning for someone does not make you a bitch oh my god.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-07-03T14:13:50+00:00

The easiest way to break the cycle is to not start it. Once you give everything, and then do a 180, you are blamed for suddenly not being accommodating. But if you present the version of yourself that expects the man to step up, he either steps up or you step out the door. 👋

arnezuara · 2021-07-03T14:14:27+00:00

Sounds like codependency. Doing good, without thinking twice, in hopes of receiving reciprocity is what gets you in relationships with men who are narcissistic and abusive.

You have to wait for a man to prove himself worthy of you.

theterminatress · 2021-07-03T14:26:18+00:00

Take care of a man, create a child.

The_Oracle_of_Delphi · 2021-07-03T17:07:17+00:00

I’ve stopped doing things for people - boyfriends, friends, family members - that are not reciprocated. My circle is extremely small now. But at least now I have time to focus on myself. I’m getting back in shape, upgrading my wardrobe, and doings things (for me) which used to be neglected because I was taking care of everyone else. It’s better this way, and I’m never going back to my old ways again.

extragouda · 2021-07-03T14:31:15+00:00

No actually, BE a bitch.

B=being

I=in

T=total

C=control

H=honey

I actually dislike the word "bitch" because it relates women to animals, but you can't change people in relationships by being nice to them. You're nice, they are not. They are showing you who they are and how much they value you by their behavior. Don't take care of anyone who hasn't shown you that they like to take care of you too.

I once offered a man at work a piece of chocolate because I was eating some myself. I will not be doing that again. I didn't like his response because it was all: yes, me, me, I like chocolate, me me me. If he had said, "thank you, that's very generous of you," that would have been acceptable. I didn't need a story about how much he liked chocolate.

Perhaps you may think I'm intolerant, but since joining reddit, I've found that by and large the people who have to contradict my totally benign opinions are ALL male... and I've had rude messages in my inbox.

So... no, never cook for a guy or do anything his mother may have done for him when he was 8. He has to prove himself first.

08__80 · 2021-07-03T15:28:04+00:00

He already showed you who he is, sis. He's a guy who wants a mommy/chef/maid/personal assistant while he sits on the couch and watches TV.

This is the guy you chose to serve. The only way to break the cycle is to get rid of the guy. You aren't the "bitch" in this situation, HE is. (I normally don't use this word, but I'm using it because she used it.)

Aocwannabe · 2021-07-03T15:47:59+00:00

So having boundaries makes you a “bitch” now?

tiavarga · 2021-07-03T14:52:50+00:00

Do 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 give 👏🏻 wife 👏🏻 privileges 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 boyfriends

dkwantsdk · 2021-07-03T17:09:08+00:00

When will women learn that when you act like a man's mother he will treat you like his mother?

esthermaniii · 2021-07-03T15:11:41+00:00

I’m sad that she’s 45 and hasn’t seen the light yet. It’s never too late, though!

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-07-03T16:12:31+00:00

I cringe when I think that I used to do this.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-07-03T16:35:47+00:00

Don’t put in effort that is not reciprocated!

lolmemberberries · 2021-07-03T21:33:27+00:00

Based on how she is using the word, I would encourage her to be a bitch. Be a huge bitch. Pro-bitch all the way.

r4nd0m-u53r · 2021-07-04T01:50:34+00:00

I don't do anything for my bf that he doesn't do for me first. He cooked me multiple meals before I ever cooked for him. I don't do his dishes yet he does mine. When he stays over my bed is made when I get out of the shower. If I'm staying at his, he will wait till I wake up then serve me breakfast. Had a BBQ lastnight with my friends, at my house. He noticed some lose decking and proactively fixed it. He did the bbqing so I could relax. Then this morning I woke up to clean dishes because he felt I did more of the prep and he wanted to contribute back.

It was uncomfortable at first but now I just let him do things for me, and pay when he wants and I don't feel guilty because I value myself and can see all the benefits he gets by just being in a relationship with me.

Dazzling_Grass1727 · 2021-07-03T16:20:58+00:00

Be a bitch.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-07-03T23:37:24+00:00

Age gap. Dating men that much younger than you guarantees you’ll be their replacement mommy.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-07-03T23:39:41+00:00

I put as much effort in people as they put in me. It’s a great life philosophy.

NinjaCynic · 2021-07-03T23:55:33+00:00

Well. The answer is simple. But "without being a bitch?" Uhh.... smile when you're kicking him out. That'll do it 💅🏻

Lavender_flow · 2021-07-03T16:09:01+00:00

You break up with them. Problem solved

aenema46n2 · 2021-07-03T19:54:45+00:00

Repeat after me: I WILL NOT BE A BANGMAID IN MY RELATIONSHIPS 📢

Hoarse_Girl · 2021-07-03T15:59:45+00:00

Don't do wife shit if he isn't doing husband shit 🤷 Could not be more simple once you stop caring what scrotes think about you

Jamiepappasatlanta · 2021-07-03T19:39:15+00:00

Just stop doing stuff for them. They aren’t worth it

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-07-04T05:47:11+00:00

Step one: stop worrying about “being a bitch”.

In fact, you should take it as a complement if a LVM thinks you’re a bitch. Because in scrotese, “bitch” means “woman who is too good for me.”

If a man thinks that requiring appreciation and expecting reciprocation is “bitchy”, then he is the bitch. Little bitch boy.

xXMsLoveXx · 2021-07-03T23:53:14+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to take care of your partner, but I’d want to make sure he’s a catch before doing stuff like that for him.

nnanna11 · 2021-07-03T19:19:23+00:00

she’s in her forties posting this embarrassing stuff (no offense to the older ladies on fds, i love and value y’all) online. how about you stop doing wifey shit for men that don’t appreciate you?

anxious-american · 2021-07-04T13:32:35+00:00

Nahh girl be the bitch

Title	FDS to the rescue!
Author	HumanAdhesiveness360
Upvotes	675
Comments	54
Date	July 3, 2021 1:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ocyeuo/fds_to_the_rescue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/fds-to-the-rescue.788596 https://theredarchive.com/post/788596

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