Why the hate to single moms?

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2021-04-18T01:42:34+00:00

The 'hate' ultimately stems from the disgust men feel toward the idea of raising another man's child.

Plopolok · 2021-04-18T06:34:07+00:00

I don't hate them, but they're a problem. You know the saying: "If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem." Well, if there's one woman who gets pregnant by an irresponsible deadbeat, she's a victim. If there are 10 million of them, society is the victim. First because people must pay for the child, and then because the next generation comes from irresponsible parents. Sex and reproduction are fundamental in shaping our society, both in the short term and in the long term; a situation in which irresponsible people fuck and responsible people pay is simply not sustainable.

chrissy676 · 2021-04-18T00:47:14+00:00

I had a friend who got pregnant by her bf, she wanted to have an abortion because they were in their mid twenties and unmarried, he literally pretended to have a mental break down over her "killing his kid" and convinced her to have the baby. As soon as she had the baby, he went ghost. Literally disappeared and stopped coming around.

Happyhguru · 2021-04-18T01:16:23+00:00

Not 'hatred', there's just zero reason why I should date a single mother when there are so many girls who don't have someone else's children, and when we say this they get mad and accuse us of hatred lol

SteveSan82 · 2021-04-18T10:30:28+00:00

Single mothers are selfish. They destroy their children. There is a reason why most prisoners come from single mother households.

They are impossible to be in a Relationship with. They either side with their kids against the stepfather/boyfriend or they allow the sd/boyfriend to abuse them. There is no realism with them.

Teflon08191 · 2021-04-18T01:21:30+00:00

Would not date does not equal hate.

You don't hate dungeons and dragons enthusiasts. You just...wouldn't fuck them.

Same concept.

BestLibertarianTemp · 2021-04-18T03:54:21+00:00

Because men expect them to lower their standards but they don't.

2021-04-18T07:37:34+00:00

It happens for the same reason as to why many women (especially the feminists) hate on short, poor and small-dicked men even they've never met the said guy they're hating on: People need somebody/something to shit on all the time to feel good about themselves in order to boost their ego over a feeling of superiority.

Social_cynicism · 2021-04-18T22:37:01+00:00

It's a sign that you got into a relationship that went bad, you made life-changing decisions that went bad, you took a heavy responsability and now you are asking another person who doesn't know the full story of those decisions to both share your responsablity and risk to start a relationship that don't turn as bad.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-04-18T01:06:27+00:00

How the scenario plays out:

A child is one of the greatest honors a woman can give to a man.
The 'single mother' often times leaves the lesser man for a higher value man. Levelling up.
The woman learned from her youth to value her sexuality. She implements rules which includes delaying sex.

4. The higher value man feels cheated that he gets these rules that a lower value man did not get. The lower value man had sex and the greatest honor of a kid while offering less.

The other reasons:

The mother and baby father may or may not let the man discipline his step child like his own.

The step child may or may not respect him like a biological father.

In the case of separation, he may or may not get access to his step children.

Women without kids offer less rules and less resistance to sex. They are more likely to get on his program.

4everrekt · 2021-04-18T03:42:55+00:00

I don’t know if hate is an accurate description, but it seems like the visceral responses come from men who have dealt with single moms and their experiences trigger strong emotions.

The most triggering experiences tend to be: - having responsibility over a kid, but not authority over the kid - breaking up with the woman, and having to sever the bond with the kid - baby daddy drama - having low/insufficient priority in her life

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2021-04-18T12:34:51+00:00

At least in the US, women have absolute unilateral control over whether or not a child is born. A child raised without both parents is a societal ill. Statistics show very clearly that children raised by single mothers (probably single parents in general) turn out worse. And since women have unilateral control over whether those children were ever born in the first place, they are more responsible for creating this societal ill.

SylvestorTalone · 2021-04-18T21:48:26+00:00

Because the softly softly approach that our civilization is currently taking to the issue has resulted in an absolute tidal wave of single motherhood, which is making literally every social problem worse.

Bailing out single mothers incentivises more of it, more single mothers more social problems, more taxes to pay for efforts to try and deal with those social problems.

If someone could wave a wand and take us back to 1900 levels of bastardry, some huge percentage of crime, delinquency, drug eddiction, mental health issues etc would just vanish.

amwfhunter · 2021-04-18T23:48:35+00:00

I think a lot of men don't want to clean up another dude's mess. It is probably ingrained by nature and old society that you don't accept another man's seed in your life. I think single parents belong with other single parents. Unless the kids are grown and non dependents.

Avocado_OverDose · 2021-04-19T03:12:40+00:00

It's like playing on another man saved game. I'd rather play my own game and start a new one.

Or a used vehicle with frame damage that still drives. Lots of value was lost

John_Oakman · 2021-04-18T09:16:13+00:00

Within the context of this subreddit (which means fuck all outside of it, so keep that in mind), the hatred is a proxy for hating on an unfair social construct (i.e. the usual I can't hurt the things that actually hurt me so I'm gonna take my anger out on something I can hurt more readily, in other words the innocents paying for the sins of the guilty).

Generally speaking most of the manosphere (where are the real men are obviously) don't like the current set up of the modern western liberal secular mix-market society in which numerous perverse incentives are in place to reward behaviors that are detrimental to society/economy and punish those who actually work and contribute towards society. Of course, most have recognize that they can't really do anything about the bigger picture (waging revolution is obviously a non-starter, and bugging off into the wilderness is too inconvenient), therefore they take out their anger on what they perceive as the visible embodiment of this wrongness.

Single mothers, by virtue of having a kid and raising said kid by herself (welfare aid isn't usually factored in, especially in the US where it's inadequate to raise kids from) holds a lot of social legitimacy values. Society has ordained that they are innocent victims thrust into unfortunate circumstances, and that sexually unsuccessful single males who have the financial means should go fulfill their social obligations by financially/economically provide for these single mothers.

Since real men rejects the modern western liberal secular mix-market social construct, they also rejects the social obligations and social legitimacy values of single mothers.

And yes, all this autistic word salads are for asscovering because people be like "I found a nitpick, therefore I have invalidated your entire thing!"

S0mnariumx · 2021-04-18T16:43:26+00:00

Its a kind of baggage most men wouldn't want unless their own kid. Also it definitely can reflect poor judgement but yeah as you've said everyone makes mistakes when they're young. Being a single mom also can inflate their standards (for good reason) despite losing a lot of value. I try to withhold judgement a little more I met a couple young widows with kids recently, their partner being dead doesn't mean he wasn't a good father.

old_wise_man_ · 2021-04-18T02:01:31+00:00

1 it’s not hate. We just don’t want to date them, since kinds come first, bla bla bla, you know the usual.

2 raising another’s man kid is so disgusting. Remember the 2 girls one cups video? Yeah that level of disgusting.

3 it’s shows lack of sexual safety. Like she didn’t push her sexual partners to wear a condom. So she can also have STDs. So nope.

I only wish everyone to be happy and also wish single moms to be happy in theirs lifes

.........just not with me.

YungBoi12 · 2021-04-18T01:02:52+00:00

Single mothers are the epitome of AF/BB. I think harassing them is stupid and a waste of time, but those women are low value and don't make good partners. This is coming from someone who doesn't believe in TRP; however, I'm not sure why TRP--a group that solely cares about casual sex--would care about them.

zeedoctorzee · 2021-04-18T03:49:24+00:00

Accidents happen.

Sure they do but I don't want to have to be the one dealing with someone elses accident and paying for it. We could all get sick and crap our pants in public, but that doesn't mean I should have to be the one to wipe their ass that is their job not mine. I am not going to make fun of them for it to their face that would be an asshole thing to do, but yet again does not mean I should be the one to have to deal with it. If they act demanding and tell me I am less of a man because I won't do it and won't get the last nuggets of corn I am going to say something incredibly rude to them because of their entitlement.

Guys can be liars, just as women. That is, a guy could pretend to be a good guy, or an average guy and for that not to be the case.

Most of the time it is pretty fucking obvious the guy is a douchebag. No job, still lives with his parents, face tattoo, loves drugs? More than a little bit obvious. Can guys change? Sure, but like I said most of the time it is obvious women just ignore the warning signs because they are doing what their vagina tells them to do just like some guys will date an obviously crazy chick because they are thinking with their dick the difference is women keep seeking out those guys but guys rarely date more than one crazy woman. Somehow a felony record is like catnip for women I don't understand it.

Some resent(that's the right word for much of TRP attitude) that women seek help or support, and even some criticize some methods, but isn't that the smart thing to do? Single mothers are vulnerable and they are in a negative situation so it's intelligent to level the ground, not only because of them but because they are now responsible for children. I always think that if they were so irresponsible, why would they even take care of their children? At the very least they gave life to someone and they are providing for that life. At best that's something absent fathers aren't showing, so while being the child of a single mom can be rough there's at least a mother present who in most of the cases, is trying her best with what she has(which includes her own abilities, maturity, knowledge), etc...

In addition to what I pointed out earlier with the entitlement they don't realize it MASSIVELY negatively effects their value and refuse to accept that is the case. These women are also the walking reminders of the alpha fucks beta bucks strategy which pisses us off.

Pilling_it · 2021-04-18T11:21:20+00:00

Can't speak for anyone but myself.

But basically, I don't want to raise another man's child when there's women without one. Sure, she can have her story for it, I'm just not interested.

Physiologist21 · 2021-04-19T01:27:59+00:00

There isn't a visceral hatred for single moms. There is a visceral hate for promiscuity. Although I imagine most logical people realize that dealing with a single mother is an awful choice. Also it's like the single most detrimental factor for a childs' success, so that's kind of, you know, bad.

You know what you don't mention in your three paragraphs? Accountability for your own choices. lol.

StarchRunner · 2021-04-18T01:29:33+00:00

Having been constantly told by society that single moms are "heroes" and other such nonsense. That combined with "My Body, My Choice" when it comes time for sex, but complete inability to take full responsibility for the consequences, including trying to get tax money for their mistakes. Ie. making society at large to pay for "body, their choice" or as you say "accident happen". I guess jumping on a dick is an accident.

That's mostly it. I don't care if a woman has a kid on her own, just don't parade it around on my dime and advertise how strong you are for it so that all of society has to support you.

There are other reasons like stats support they generally raise terrible kids but also, the brother that gets in a relationship with one is a fool that hasn't learnt his lesson yet.

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-04-18T09:34:27+00:00

The "hate" usually stems from the subgroup of single moms who are still expecting any man putting her and the child as top priority while in tune the mother puts her child first, then herself, then the money of the man and the man itself should also be thankful for that.

Most of the time it's not hate but a simple aversion to date them.

GrandRub · 2021-04-18T12:07:44+00:00

i just hate all moms ;)

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-04-18T13:59:47+00:00

I don’t hate single moms, I just wouldn’t date them exclusively because I don’t really like kids.

I “dated” a single mom over the course of a month once and it was cool. We went out once, I spent maybe 20 dollars on her the entire month. It was some of the best sex of my life, never met the kids or anything like that. It was fun and casual.

michael1962-01 · 2021-04-18T17:19:34+00:00

If you look into whereareallthegoodmen you will not see hate but you will see that the posters and commenting people just see that there is nothing in it for a man and that anyone dating or even ltring such a woman is bad for him and not a strategy any sane man should do.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-04-18T18:32:28+00:00

Because we’re all taxpayers.

DissidentRaptor · 2021-04-19T12:59:10+00:00

Because they’re a burden on society and I can’t stand my taxes going to them.

Head-Language-2977 · 2021-04-18T03:50:13+00:00

Hate is a very strong word. I don’t know any decent man IRL that hates or even despises single moms.

What I have observed a lot more IRL is a distrust of single moms. In other words, a lot of men will wonder if the single mom really likes them or if she just wants a safe guy for support.

Perhaps that’s still harsh of men to suspect the worst in single moms, but IMO, that suspicion is NOT the same thing as hating on single moms.

no_value_male · 2021-04-18T08:55:40+00:00

Single moms get to have wild sex with chads who leave them with a kid. A kid for which all the rest of society has to foot the bill. I as a LVM have to pay for chads sexual escapades via taxes. Fuck that, fuck them, and fuck their chad spawns. They should starve for all I care.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-04-18T01:04:19+00:00

This has been discussed pretty thoroughly in here already.

No dudes want single moms because they're usually looking for someone to spread out their work and financial load with, not an actual partner.

Most single mothers I've seen are on the verge of a meltdown and their house cycles between "I just cleaned" and "Sorry, the poop-tornado came through and hit only the inside of the house."

I've only met a few good ones who held their shit together.

mechanical_elves · 2021-04-18T01:23:07+00:00

They parasitize the people around them, and "helping" them often often results in them making make more reckless decisions.

They're a lot like hard drug addicts.

Willow-girl · 2021-04-18T02:45:55+00:00

He wants Mommy to love HIM the most!

_lemazaki · 2021-04-18T02:47:49+00:00

It's complicated when things get serious. Due to several reasons ... And if this relationship ends, it is very bad for you and the child. I've dated once in the past, it was really bad.So today I just date single mothers who do not involve the child in the relationship in any way.

sweep-the-reeds · 2021-04-18T08:46:21+00:00

Its cannon for gender war bullshit that has little substance. Essentially, they're looking for 'gotchas" that women do that they can critique them for.

I had an unplanned pregnancy at 19 and was a single mother by 25. I got absolutely no hate from anyone IRL - only on this one wierd corner of Reddit.

Not only have I not received any hate IRL - it had very little impact on my dating life.

Uesugi1989 · 2021-04-18T09:33:51+00:00

No hate whatsoever, just wouldn't consider a single mom for a relationship. I am not a relationship type of guy in the first place but even if i was, it wouldn't be with a single mom

Fuck buddies and casual stuff, i don't mind though. As long as she understands it is casual

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-04-18T09:57:06+00:00

They're just a bad option for dating. I have a lot of compassion for single mothers, but she'd have to be a real catch of she wants me to take on the responsibility of helping to raise another man's child. I don't hate them at all. I'm just much less likely to date one.

sorathecrow_ · 2021-04-18T15:30:36+00:00

A single mom swiping on me on a dating app wouldn't have given me the time of day before she had a mouth to feed. Thats why I dont like them. They don't have any particular interest in me, they're just desperate people who made poor life choices.

fdslied2U · 2021-04-18T18:54:44+00:00

The hate for single moms come from people who's mothers destroyed the family and know or know of people who have mothers that stayed for the kids. As a result of the selflessness of the mother who stays children get to grow up and go to college (and/or marry) and it doesnt effect them when the parents split after. The children of mothers that leave often have to abandon hope for the future to support said selfish mother who left right now. Or the children learn to live with less resources to not burden said mother and live a lower quality of life going forward.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-04-19T03:49:11+00:00

It's really because there are just so many of them today. It's really getting harder and harder to find a girl that isn't a single mom. Men deserve to have a family of their own not having to take care of another man's family.

Also many women today only want to get with guys after they become a single mom. The alpha gets to have kids and then they expect to find a beta to take care of the kids. It's really girls today cheating men out of having families of their own.

renfsu · 2021-04-19T15:52:32+00:00

My two cents is it comes from single motherhood being a result of bad decisions. While you can say it's the guy's fault for leaving, you could also say it's the woman's fault for not vetting him properly, or simply getting pregnant from a one night stand. I feel like when you see a single mom, there's this automatic assumption that she was having unprotected casual sex and ended up having the kid, regardless of whether that's true or not.

ToraChan23 · 2021-04-19T20:15:14+00:00

No rational person “hates” single moms. Stop being hyperbolic just to prove a bad point, you’re better than that.

Single moms just aren’t as desirable on the dating market as they’d like to be.

Imagine me asking “why the hate for short/broke/small penis/socially awkward men”. That’s how you sound.

SaBahRub · 2021-04-18T02:25:49+00:00

Because they have rejected a father

sismetic · 2021-04-18T02:47:15+00:00

My first two kids were both accidents. Their mom and I stayed together for 17 years. No need for anyone to bail just because things don't go exactly as planned.

However, lots of single mothers have done just that.

ridderrobby · 2021-04-18T06:44:46+00:00

Surely you've come across one of those #proudsinglemom types, it's unbearable and impossible to deal with. But luckily there's also some more humble women out there. No point giving anecdotal evidence about which one I've observed having more success getting back into a ltr. (But you know which one).

However, for guys there's generally an age where they would start considering dating someone who already has a child, if they would date a single mom at all. Up to that point it's a big nono situation and that's what you're seeing.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-04-18T07:41:22+00:00

Single mom's are at a disadvantage because they can't hide their sexual history.

If more women were more open about their sexual history, single mom's wouldn't be having it so hard.

So c'mon girls, tell men your n-count.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-04-18T11:58:23+00:00

Personal mommy issues. I suspect alot of them were raised by single moms and THINK if mommy was married, she'd be less terrible.
Like fat girls, they think Single moms should have super low standards, so when single moms are "Just as hypergamous and picky as the other skanks" it angers them.
These men hate children. They might say "I want my own" but that's because they want the ego boost from it. They'll be a deadbeat too.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-04-18T14:42:21+00:00

I was a single mom because my husband had a mental breakdown due to bipolar disorder and subsequently developed a drug problem. Truly I am history’s greatest monster.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-04-18T02:29:32+00:00

Yeah I will say it may not be the wisest move to date a single mother, I myself am not opposed to doing it but there are some caveats that would have to be met, but some of the disdain is a bit much

stasiacruiz · 2021-04-18T19:48:03+00:00

I love single mom

DebnathSelfMade · 2021-04-19T04:06:29+00:00

I for one welcome them lmao no hate at all

2021-04-20T09:24:55+00:00

I think most of it is backlash at the idea that a man must never consider anything beyond his visceral attraction to a woman and her immediately apparent personality. Never a woman's prior history. For some reason many men feel that the situation is lopsided.

I don't think these women are really open to a relationship on even terms. How many would accept that the man said "we can be together, but first I want to go get another woman pregnant and bring my own son/daughter to into our fold". Most will simply not accept that, even though it would put them on equal footing.

Contrary to popular belief, most men enjoy relationships that are on even terms.

CravenTheInsatiable · 2021-04-21T01:50:46+00:00

Oh I'll bite on this topic, but its probably going to hurt some feelings.
1. No child is born without a mothers consent to that child being born, hence she is the final decision maker on the subject. Men do not have that right even if she sperm jacked him to gain access to his seed.
2. It's not uncommon for women to wander and get pregnant by one man and then pin it on another.
3. Is she really doing all she can do to raise that child that she chose to have if the taxpayers are paying for it. She isn't single she is married to the state. And in doing so she doesn't care who else she hurts socially by raising the level of tax debt.
4. If a women I meet has kids how do I know for certain that she didn't try to baby trap the child's father? I've been on the receiving end of that lie multiple times and yet every time I tell them I want a DNA test they seem to split or lose the child. Odd how that works. Yet I am 40 and still have no children because I have been infertile since I was young.
5. It's absolutely irresponsible to make children you can't afford and it is the leading cause of poverty across all nations.
6. Why should any man have to give up his own goals and dreams to dig another person out of a debt they self created? What makes them so special that they shouldn't have to pay the consequences for their own actions?
7. No guy I have ever met will ever attach to another mans child at the same level he will attach to his own. Because most men don't want to waste their life investing into funding another mans seed.
8. I have never met a man that thought welfare was the best use of where those tax dollars could be spent to improve the overall living conditions in this country.
9. Men are expected to know better in all situations and if we do not the Law throws the book at us using maximum force in an effort to make other men take notice, yet women mess up and are granted endless forgiveness.
10. Single Mothers tend to raise the majority of criminals that go to jail for nasty crimes.
11. I have met far too many women that live in section 8 housing with their baby daddies well the state pays for their apartment or home bills.
12. I have seen far too many single mother absolutely refuse to work more then 15 hours a week because it will mess up their government benefits. So it's ok for a couple who did things right to have to pay for their kids well being and healthcare but the state is supposed to cover her by taking the food out of the mouth of those peoples child?
13. Because most single guys who made the right choices are tired of getting screamed at by these perpetual debt machines who are looking for a baby's daddy but refuse to date single dads due to them wanting all of a guys attention but wanting to put him dead last.
14. No man want to have to compromise authority and the rules of his house to another man.
15. Lots of single moms and dads mess around with their ex's whenever they get into a fight with their partner.
16. No time to bond as just a couple before a child is actually involved.
17. No spontaneous anything, everything has to be planned out and any single hiccup can ruin that plan.
18. It's a crap deal that offers no benefits to the man in the situation.
19. Her mind is always on that kid, it's like dating a girl that has another boyfriend she likes better then you. And I am not the type to share.

Having a child is always serious and it is a permanent chain for your other half to their child's other parent. This is why I think that DNA test should be mandatory and they should kill the welfare system. That way if two people mess up it's on them to figure it out. How many of these kids do you think would be born into poverty if they knew the risk was them being stuck paying for the bills from their own actions?
It's called self accountability. It's the only difference between a grown up and a grown child.

theowaway172772627 · 2021-04-22T03:29:18+00:00

It’s the aversion to wanting to raise someone else’s kid. Although some men may judge based on ethics (how dare you bang someone blah blah) most reasonable men simply understand the negatives far outweighs the positives. I just got out of an LTR with a single mom so ill explain.

Both men and females have certain things in the opposite sex they highly value. For men it’s fertility and good looks, women it’s resources and protection. A man seeing you with someone else’s kids induces the same response you’d have if your man fought to protect some random girl but let you get beat up, or if he gave her food/clothing and you got nothing. In a primal sense you’d be ticked off. It’s like that for men but with kids and reproduction.

Now there’s something to say about emotional connection and once you (if you) get over the whole primal triggers, you could still raise a kid as yours and have a connection (despite this being a biological millstone) there are still massive drawbacks.

So lets pretend I’m willing to adopt little Johnny. I have the following problems.

1) Possible Child support. If you become common-law and the biological father doesn’t pay, you CAN BE legally ordered to pay partial child support payments. These continue EVEN AFTER you’ve broken up. This is different per state/province so depends where you live.

2) 0 Parental rights — despite sweat, blood and resources step parents have next to no parental rights. You literally have to “hope” the woman etches you into an agreement. In many cases the biological father still usurps your rights in many cases

3) Daddy Drama. This needs no explaining.

4) if you break up, it hurts because you’re losing your kid. Unlike a biological parent you have no rights.

5) You have to adjust to a life style of reduced availability plus tons of responsibility. This is tough.

There’s other points too but these are the main ones. So yeah, it isn’t that men “hate” the single mother but generally it’s a really bad deal for a guy. I loved/love that women to death but simply couldnt deal with the above and had to cut the relationship.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-04-23T15:44:28+00:00

Because it hurts the fucking taxpayer. Single mothers are not assets as citizens to a country’s tax revenue, they are liabilities with inherent costs that are more expensive than the future tax revenue her offspring will produce. This is not sustainable just like a 10mpg car is not sustainable.

We need to go full starship troopers on who gets to have kids and vote. Otherwise it’ll be a slow race to the bottom where the most supported and catered to women are GUTTER SKANKS with a womb instead of people who want to contribute to society.

Title	Why the hate to single moms?
Author	sismetic
Upvotes	21
Comments	320
Date	April 18, 2021 12:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mt2sr1/why_the_hate_to_single_moms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-the-hate-to-single-moms.762855 https://theredarchive.com/post/762855

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