Women, what are you insecure about?

gofigure62 · 2022-03-29T02:27:05+00:00

Being born without a trustfund.

A1Dilettante · 2022-03-29T02:16:51+00:00

My poor excuse for boobs and body. The insecurity isn't as bad as it used to be when I was younger. I damn near had body dysphoria back then.

Still though, I am a tiny thing who could pass for your twelve year old sister on my off days. No part of me screams sexy, fuckable, mature woman.

Dressing provocatively is out of the question. I don't have the full perky bust, thick ass, or curvy body to pull it off.

Any amount of ass or curve I managed to aquire over the years was through exercise and diet. Any amount of sex appeal I have comes from my wit, charm, and goofy ass smile.

I'm just not all that in love with my body. If I was guy, I doubt I'd fuck me based on looks alone. Still, I accept what I see in the mirror and go about my life. Could it be better? Sure, but whatever. I got plants to tend to.

poppy_blu · 2022-03-29T02:08:04+00:00

As the perhaps the only old head left here besides possum and orange paisley, I’ll say that the older you get the less you give a fuck. You tend to work out your insecurities and accept yourself in a way you never did when you were young.

So I’m really not insecure about anything at this point in my life, but that’s a hard earned status.

Dnevnik24 · 2022-03-29T02:05:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

philomexa · 2022-03-29T01:42:03+00:00

Right now I'm going through a tretinoin purge and have a spat of acne on my chin. 😭

ThisBoringLife · 2022-03-29T01:44:59+00:00

It would be quicker to list the things I'm not insecure about.

learn2earn89 · 2022-03-29T02:09:44+00:00

Everything. My ears stick out too much. My hair is curly and thick, men tend to prefer women with straight smooth hair (usually), I have small breasts, I have acne scars, my lips aren’t full, i have a longer philtrum than the average women, I’m starting to age. I have short legs. I’m really hairy so hair removal is a bitch and it doesn’t last.

Wish I was smarter.

Wish I had the energy to learn more interesting hobbies.

Wish I wasn’t so depressed about these things.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-03-29T01:42:57+00:00

The usual - body, hair, skin. I have very sensitive skin so makeup isn’t even an option for me on a regular basis.

thisplaceisashes · 2022-03-29T03:43:55+00:00

Size of my metaphorical balls. Men’s underwear just doesn’t cut it.

Novatonavila · 2022-03-29T02:29:45+00:00

I only have 1 real insecurity and it's not living up to his first wife.

Barneysparky · 2022-03-29T02:47:21+00:00

When I was young I was pretty much insecure about everything.

I can't think of anything today that makes me insecure.

I remember in grade school being insecure about how I was always at the back of the pack running, my handwriting was never neat, I didn't get math, I started my notebooks with all good intentions of staying organized and pristine throughout the year and within a week they were dog eared, and my text was a mixture of every curvature that could possible exist along with not cleaver at all doodles.

My insecurities kinda went downhill from there, in grade six every week I'd spend my allowance on gum for the class in hopes it would make me popular.

How friggen silly was kid me?

Yeah, it's pretty obvious I had some major ADD going on, but all and all I was in the top 60% at least. Yeah, my spelling/grammar sucked, but my comprehension was extraordinary. I did have my gifts, like everyone else. Why was I worried I didn't have all the gifts?

Today I make popcorn, I grow things, I'm actively good to people. I'm very happy with myself.

JewelJones2021 · 2022-03-29T04:43:42+00:00

Me. What if I'm useless? What if nobody wants me? What if I can't make a decent living because I feel insecure in my skill set? What if I'm actually ugly while thinking I'm a little cute? I'm too self absorbed.

Novatonavila · 2022-03-29T11:18:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Novatonavila · 2022-03-29T02:24:58+00:00

My height, and the way my uterus sticks out if you look at my stomach from the side. I think I’m the only one who even notices it though

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-29T03:53:34+00:00

Nose (I have a deviated septum so it's crooked a little), acne (obvious), stomach (I have a little pooch and have always had it, even when I was 100lbs), hands (my fingers are fat), arm hair (obvious), lip hair (obvious), nose hair (obvious), overbite (obvious), fingernails (I bit them for years so they look horrible), eyebrows (overplucking in the early 2000s), boobs (they've never been perky, and as I age it's only gotten worse), .

LatterSeaworthiness4 · 2022-03-29T05:16:07+00:00

Well, I’m overall pleased with my appearance. My skin texture could be better, but that’s about all that concerns me. And it’s not so bad that I can’t go without makeup. I never wear it to go grocery shopping or errands or anything like that.

However, I do hate the way I look in a lot of photos (although I do also take plenty of good ones). I just think my features are just not very photogenic (small eyes, angular jawline, flat-ish nose) in a candid way, where I would look good at all angles, but they look nice in person. Then again I don’t know how many people are even ultra photogenic. All you see are people’s “highlight reels” on IG, where they could have taken hundreds of photos to get “the one”, in addition to editing and filtering, so who even knows what the reality is.

More than anything though I just hate my voice. It’s deep, not quite like Miley Cyrus but closer to a Selena Gomez voice. To me it doesn’t sound very feminine and on top of that it seems nasally. The best example I can think of is the “Let me take a selfie” song from around 2011. That’s pretty close to how I sound. Couple that with throat clearing that I do on and off due to chronic post nasal drip and I just hate everything that comes out of my mouth, which is tough because I love to talk lol. It’s surprisingly never been a hindrance in dating though.

jenaemare · 2022-03-29T06:54:50+00:00

Nothing, really. I already know that I'm unattractive and I'm more comfortable being unkempt, so I don't even put in the effort. It's a lot simpler to just exist and not care about your appearance - I wish more women did this. However, OP is right on one thing. My attractive friends who spend a lot of time and money on their appearances are always insecure and feel ugly. It's like nothing can satisfy their level of want to be beautiful and attractive. Once you free yourself, as a woman, of this expectation, life becomes so much simpler and you get a lot of free time.

2022-03-29T11:40:50+00:00

me being just being handed unfortunate genetics and having an objectively unattractive face as a result of it

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-29T14:38:35+00:00

My libido. It is extremely high and has been for as long as I've been an adult. My partner jokes he is terrified for when I hit my sexual peak, I am already all over him all the time. It makes me feel a bit freakish because my friends aren't like this and I worry it's a burden on my partner.

Not being taken as seriously professionally. I look younger than I am and don't have a mature commanding sounding voice. I'm also chubby and have pronounced features as a result. I just feel it's hard to take me seriously in my role. I feel like if I had less prominent attributes, a deeper voice, and looked a bit older I would be more respected.

Reisiluu · 2022-03-29T23:15:57+00:00

I'm an underachiever and I don't do well socially. Work days are tough sometimes because I feel like I'm just pretending to know what I'm doing and trying my best to act like a normal person, but at any moment someone might find out I'm a fraud.

I have plenty of reasons to be insecure about my looks but for some reason I'm not.

992702050602 · 2022-03-30T05:13:20+00:00

I… genuinely… debated… on whether or not I should post this. But average girl means there’s gonna be girls who have no insecurities which means my weird outlier should be included in the stats right?

I had written about being self-absorbed and I know it. I’m insecure about it too, but I took it out and then felt guilty. I am writing paragraphs of text. I’m insecure about it but I’m still doing it because this post is asking about my insecurities as a woman.

Worst thing that can happen is that I get downvoted to holy hell which is fine.

I lied, it would not be fine. it will hurt my feelings because I’m oversensitive and also insecure about that. But I accept that I am oversensitive and insecure, even if I don’t like it about myself.

So where do I begin?

I’m insecure that I’m not good enough, and will never be. I don’t know what I want to be good enough for, but it doesn’t change the feeling. I’m not funny enough, smart enough, interesting, friendly, whatever.

I’m insecure that the people around me will only want to be around me because I offer some kind of reward. Maybe they don’t have other friends and are afraid to be alone. Maybe they only want me around to make fun of me behind my back. Maybe they pity me and this is their way of making themselves feel better.

I live in constant fear and anxiety that no matter how hard I work, no matter how many hours I pour over studying, hell even learning HOW to study, how many hours I put into perfecting a craft, a skill, putting myself out there and actually trying to learn ANY skill, public speaking, leadership roles, seminars and classes on improving skills that I will never be knowledgeable enough, or wise enough, or experienced enough… for whatever it is I want to do.

I’m not a very good host, and I get stressed about the idea that I might not be a good homemaker. I worry that these things make me a terrible mom. How can someone who is so self-involved ever care for another human, especially one as helpless as a baby?

I’m insecure that there’s always the possibility that I can’t have children, my menstrual cycle isn’t very stable. I worry whether or not it would even be moral to have my own children. But then what if I can’t adopt? What if I am such a terrible candidate for adoption that I get banned? What if I get pregnant right now? I’m not ready. I can’t afford a child and I’m not trying to get pregnant and have kids right now. I feel anxious because I’m wasting my good birth-giving years and I’ll have lost the opportunity to even get pregnant if and when I want to. I’m afraid that whatever I did or do to becoming a parent it would make me a bad parent.

In terms of appearance, I’m a little on the plain side. My face is asymmetrical, my face is just weird, you know? not a single one of features are particularly pretty or pleasant to look at. I worry that there’s nothing about me that could attract another person, except maybe my body, I guess I’m insecure that I’m a butter face.

But I mean I’m not very voluptuous. I’m pudgey around my stomach, but somehow still no ass. My breasts aren’t quite enough to make up for it. Maybe they’re too big and it throws off the balance. But some people like top-heavy girls? But my top isn’t heavy enough to be considered for that category. I guess I’m not curvy, not very skinny, and I’m not very fit. I have no muscle definition, nothing about my body is even toned.

Sometimes I worry everyone has been lying to me because they feel bad for how ugly I am. I worry that I’m vain. Who else thinks about their appearance that much?

I worry that no one really likes me. I’m not particularly attractive, I’m a really weird person full of insecurities, and I’m not cool or interesting enough to otherwise have people who want to be around me.

But mostly, I’m insecure that I’m not good enough to make up for the fact that I am not good enough.

42nanaimobars · 2022-03-29T04:14:32+00:00

I have no insecurities. Life is fun.

Lucky_kidney · 2022-03-29T04:09:12+00:00

Op. They cant answer u that cause a real insecurity is the evil one, u cant even accept it or realise it existed there

ohdiddly · 2022-03-29T02:02:55+00:00

I very rarely feel insecure tbh, when I do it’s about my hair not being washed or something lol

sarkington · 2022-03-29T02:37:07+00:00

Personal safety

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2022-03-29T02:15:05+00:00

So many things. How much I let it bother me depends a lot on my mood, stress levels, time of the month lol, etc.

Stuff like my body type and weight, my facial features, acne, my height, the way I smile or laugh, my voice, my hair.

Also aspects of my personality such as my personal interests, sense of humour, kinks, my high libido, not being feminine enough, my sense of style.

There are probably plenty of other things if I really wanted to list em all out, but that's what I can come up with off the top of my head.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-29T03:12:15+00:00

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juicyfruit206 · 2022-03-29T03:20:23+00:00

My boobs. I can’t think of one day that I haven’t hated them since I was 18 and started a hormonal birth control that was totally wrong for my weight. I’m 25 now. It’s silly, but I think if I fixed this one thing it’d solve nearly all of my physical insecurities.

luliloo · 2022-03-29T03:52:43+00:00

I can be super confident sometimes and then insecure other times. But over time I’ve gotten over a lot of things. I love my boobs now and made other changes to look and feel better.

Currently, probably the most insecure about my armpits and breakouts on my back/butt.

Jenny-789 · 2022-03-29T04:03:42+00:00

My skin, my weight, my appearance, and since the last two relationships didn't work out I really take a reflect upon myself 😂

EviessVeralan · 2022-03-29T04:14:29+00:00

Mine consist of being unhappy with traits i was born with (big nose and ears) and a really ugly scar from an injury in my early 20s.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-29T04:24:38+00:00

I’m insecure about my skin. I wouldn’t say my skin is too bad but it’s also not Instagram perfect. Going to a dermatologist for years dramatically helped but it will never compare to models skin. I’m insecure about my deep set eyes, it gives me these sort of raccoon eye bags, it’s not discolored, just that my eyes are a bit too deep set. I’d also like to get my ears a bit flattened. I hate the shape of my toes.

lolman453 · 2022-03-29T04:26:43+00:00

I am aware of my physical “flaws” - my long feet, how wide my hips are compared to the rest of my body, how milky white my skin gets when I haven’t had sun in a while, my Arab nose, my voice that kind of makes me sound like an airhead - but I’ve come to accept them as part of me. My real insecurities are all career related -

How much time I’ve spent working and how I’ve allowed work to consume my life
How painfully shy I can be in professional settings
Despite having two Masters degrees and almost a decade of professional experience, I still feel like the dumbest person in the room sometimes

I also want to say that some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met were also some of the most insecure.

2022-03-29T04:49:30+00:00

Not really insecure but I have some pretty bad personal trust issues that extend to family and friends. Nothing that the individuals have done, I just don't have the current capacity to trust people very easily and I will almost always question someone's motive.

Profession_Mobile · 2022-03-29T07:39:34+00:00

Men I’ve been with call me their slut, I’m not a slut I don’t even sleep around but it has come out of the mouth of a couple of guys now so I’m insecure about looking or acting like a slut if that’s even possible.

mostlyawesume · 2022-03-29T07:51:23+00:00

My insecurity is “does what i have to say matter that much for people want to listen”

Katatonicsnake · 2022-03-29T07:52:14+00:00

My intelligence, cv, and education.

If we are talking about looks: breasts, shoulders, calves.

DXBrigade · 2022-03-29T07:57:55+00:00

I suffer from hyperhidrosis aka excessive sweating because of that I tend to get bad BO easily. It affected my self-esteem and my social life.

boofthegirl · 2022-03-29T08:14:34+00:00

I think the only thing I truly would pay money to change is my very soft jaw. As I get older I would like much more definition there. I may even pay for liposuction. There’s really no need, fiancé loves me the way I am but it would make me a lot more confident.

There are things I’m not 100% happy with but it’s really whatever.

wtknight · 2022-03-29T08:29:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-03-29T09:27:18+00:00

i despise my physical appearence, think i should improve on my art more, find a job somewhere after school, socialize more...

not really worrid about relationships rn tho

2022-03-29T10:42:28+00:00

I’m petite. 5’0 and 105 pounds. Which is fine, but my foot size is also quite petite at a size 4 in women’s. I’m so insecure about that.

I’m also quite insecure that a couple of my teeth are tea-stained badly, despite my very extensive and consistent oral care routine. I can’t get to a dentist right now, and the stains are really stubborn to standard whitening tools.

My husband doesn’t seem to mind these things. He loves that I’m petite. He has always thought it was cute even that I have a tooth that’s a bit crooked, and truly doesn’t seem to mind that my favorite beverage has taken a toll on the color of my teeth. After all, I still take great care of them and it’s obvious that he finds me incredibly attractive. But no matter what I do, these two insecurities seem to stick around.

eleventwenty2 · 2022-03-29T11:31:11+00:00

Everything lol. My abilities to perform my job properly, be a good wife, good sister, good daughter, good friend. My body is never quite what I'd like and I hate that where I work my appearance draws attention. Makes me want to hide. I'm insecure about my choices and saying what I want or like. Basically everything but I try every day to challenge that and be the confident person I want to be

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-03-29T15:29:23+00:00

Having imposter syndrome. I know I’m smart but sometimes I don’t feel confident and I have to overexplain myself so people don’t question me

2022-03-29T15:51:27+00:00

My height (too short) and acne scars on my shoulders which makes wearing tank tops a no-go.

Everything else I like.

2022-03-29T18:38:53+00:00

my face shape it’s something i can never change without surgery i hate having a round face with chubby cheeks even when i was severely underweight my face was fat and my body i feel HUGE but like in a wide way my waist is too wide my thighs are too big my shoulders are really broad and my arms are fat. also im ginger i hate it i dye my hair all the time but people can still tell because of my eyebrows. my lips aren’t wide enough so my mouth looks weird. my nose is fat and wide at the top i hate it it’s downturned when i smile. also my laugh i look ugly when i laugh and it’s just bad

2022-03-29T19:47:27+00:00

Literally nothing on most days. Sometimes my intelligence, since I work in science. It’s a field where the minimum requirement is a PhD sooo it’s understandable.

Physically, nothing. More or less am the beauty standard, for better or worse.

neetykeeno · 2022-03-29T20:07:04+00:00

I am spending what will be the last productive years of my life writing a fantasy series that few will enjoy and many will mock. I damn well should feel insecure I guess.

ruboyuri · 2022-03-29T21:00:27+00:00

Money and health

Novatonavila · 2022-03-30T02:16:04+00:00

This is dumb, but my body now that I’m pregnant. I’ve suffered with an ED as long as I can remember. I go in and out of ‘recovery’. I’m triggered by fat bodies. And whenever I see my stomach in the mirror I feel less attractive than I used to be. My husband tells me I’m still beautiful, but I feel like a small pregnant horse. I eat and take care of myself as I’m supposed to, but I’m pretty fucking bummed lol.

iamsojellyofu · 2022-03-30T05:23:58+00:00

My looks.

2022-03-30T06:13:31+00:00

Even though I have control over it my body most definitely. Even when I was in the best shape I still hated it, and always felt insecure about it. I’ve learned to love it more so now. I get so much more attention from all different types of guys for it. There’s guys from high school that I liked them but now that are constantly trying to get with me.

2022-03-30T08:24:12+00:00

As of recently, the weight I have gained upon starting the medication for depression.

My mental state (PTSD, depression, anxiety) and that I need to be medicated/go to theraphy to be able to function normally.

That should sum up.

2022-03-31T23:36:08+00:00

he sounds full of shit

2022-04-01T04:04:19+00:00

As a whole women are more insecure about their appearance. This is simply because women’s appearance is more equated to their worth and success in society than the men.

A lot of men complain that to be successful in dating (and I would argue society as a whole) all a woman has to be is attractive, whist men’s value is only a fraction of their appearance but also elevated by who they are and what they offer. This is true to some degree and makes women deeply insecure. Even attractive women who are handed things for doing little, likely are deeply unfulfilled and insecure because they don’t actually power over what gives them these things. Appearance is not something most people have control over and can be instantly taken away from them as it’s solely judged by others.

I recently read an article about a confession by a woman who was accomplished, smart and successful admit that she feels deep down that though nothing she achieves counts unless she is attractive. A lot of women were confessing in the comments that despite knowing it’s shallow they also struggle to seperate their self worth from their appearance.

It’s something that is often enforced by both genders. Women naturally idolise women who are attractive and often give compliments and envy women who are attractive more than men do with each other.

When I think of the popular kids in high school I notice a theme. The popular girls, whether they were nice, mean, smart, vapid, sporty, uptight or party girls were always at the very least angelic looking and liked by the boys. Whist the popular boys could be overweight and look like they snuck onto earth, their appearance wasn’t the defining factor in their popularity.

Even though feminist critiques of society are more common, most women have trouble integrating these attitudes into how they actually perceive themselves. We are naturally more geared to internalise failures in dating as something wrong with them rather than society as a whole. It’s studied and accepted that on average Men and Women have fundamental differences in their personality and one of those is on average women are more agreeableness, politeness, openness and compassion whilst men are higher in assertiveness. I have noticed women are more self-reflective and self-critical, whist men often externalise their problems looking outwards for the source of their problems.

Easteuroblondie · 2022-04-03T19:19:29+00:00

I know better than to share my real insecurities with others, especially men. They just want ammo to use against you.

That, and I find it quite hilarious when they dig in their bag of tired old cliches, many of which I am not insecure about, and watching them think they’re getting one in on me when really I’m just like “what a sad little dumbfuck”

penguintransformer · 2022-04-05T11:15:25+00:00

I have slight rosacea and am about 25 pounds overweight.

Title	Women, what are you insecure about?
Author	Novatonavila
Upvotes	33
Comments	216
Date	March 29, 2022 1:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tqolyv/women_what_are_you_insecure_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-what-are-you-insecure-about.1109686 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109686

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