Would it turn you on if the dude acted kinda indifferent to sex?

the_jingster · 2021-10-27T19:32:41+00:00

Yes for women with low sex drives/ are just looking for a long term partner. No for women who have high sex drives/ are sexually attracted/ want to hook up. /thread

lybid8 · 2021-10-27T19:03:08+00:00

It would relax me more because I don’t have to worry about being pressured into sex. Being relaxed more can be conductive to feeling safe enough to explore my own sexual thoughts about this person.

I’m speaking from experience by the way. The best sex has been with people who have been very in tune with me and didn’t pressure me into sex in any sort of even very minor way. I know the standard here is so low it’s in hell, but go figure, quality of men these days.

girlindolor · 2021-10-27T14:42:50+00:00

Would that arose you more because he is mature, able to control himself, and not with you necessarily for sex? And very few guys could achieve this?

Exactly that. I don't care about being attractive to my partner, as long as he genuinely likes me and enjoys my company, that's what a relationship is about for me, you're not going to stay young and attractive forever so prioritizing the short term over the long term doesn't make sense to me. And a guy being super attracted to you might feel good in the moment but i would be really insecure about how he would feel about me once i've aged and lost my attractiveness, so i wouldn't be able to trust a guy who's not happy just enjoying each other's company, but i'm pretty sure men like that don't exist unfortunately

FizzleMateriel · 2021-10-27T13:23:10+00:00

In a sexual context, luckily my partners have felt controlled and not like they were with me to just get laid (I don’t do one night stands, or sleep with people straight away anyway). A slow build up is one thing, being disinterested is another. If you’re showing disinterest, that means to me you don’t want it and that’s totally cool. We can do something else.

AquaChip · 2021-10-27T13:28:41+00:00

Yes, men who aren’t thirsty are rare. Rare things hold value. And I’m not talking about the men who pretend to act indifferent while simultaneously chasing women 24/7. I’m talking about the men who actually don’t give a fuck. They live their life. If sex comes, then it comes but they aren’t chasing women or thinking of strategies to get more sex.

chubbybutt22 · 2021-10-27T15:08:52+00:00

No it wouldn’t turn me on. Sex turns me on. It wouldn’t offend me but I might assume were incompatible.

gofigure62 · 2021-10-27T13:34:45+00:00

I'm an adult. I would simply ask.

It wouldn't turn me off if someone was indifferent or didn't return my physical affections.

I also wouldn't assume anything without talking to him about it first.

It turns me on when men respect the boundaries that I lay down about how far I'm willing to go or what I want to do. It turns me on even further if a man has his own boundaries that he wants respected.

I wouldn't want someone to sit there in a catatonic state if I'm trying to initiate some physical intimacy. It would be sexual assualt and I wouldn't continue if I received zero positive feedback.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-10-27T13:18:06+00:00

how do we have chemistry if hes "indifferent to sex". the female sex drive requires being DESIRED. lol@happy with his company, lol thats a friend

Slipthe · 2021-10-27T13:41:36+00:00

No it wouldn't turn me on.

It would only turn me on if he was being physically affectionate and flirtatious. But if he had no interest in sex, I'd be shocked if he'd be interested in those things, because the flirtation is foreplay and anticipation.

CloudBerryFizzy · 2021-10-27T13:19:22+00:00

I'd like it, but slow burns with buildup are my thing.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-27T13:44:39+00:00

If he had no interest in sex, it would not turn me on and I would assume we were just friends. If we kissed, touched, made out, heavy petted, and then he backed off and said he wanted us to take our time, that would be intriguing.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-27T14:49:50+00:00

Only if he was fine with it

Enchanting_Smith · 2021-10-27T16:10:17+00:00

Definite plus but thats based off me, not a womans preference id say theyd take it poorly unless the feeling of content was mutual than probably neither would care.

chalkandapples · 2021-10-27T18:11:33+00:00

This would be great for me. I have never consider someone being purely sexually attracted to me as a good thing, I don't like the idea of someone having uncontrollable lust for me.

NaturalQueer · 2021-10-27T18:20:53+00:00

It wouldn’t turn me on, and wouldn’t necessarily upset me neither. If I was in the mood I might try to engage him if he doesn’t respond then I would stop, if something like that happened often I would have a chat about sex, does he like it, want it, what’s his sex drive like etc try to see if we are on the same page. If he never seems interested in having sex or initiating it I would probably see him as just a friend.

JulesB954 · 2021-10-27T19:07:19+00:00

If said man and I are only in the initial stages of dating and not in a relationship at that moment, I would be estatic if he didn't bring up sex! He would definitely stand out from the rest of the men by wanting to get to know each other before becoming physically intimate.

Altruistic_Wafer4398 · 2021-10-27T23:22:24+00:00

I’d find this respectful and attractive in the early stages, yeah. If it gets later in the relationship and he still hasn’t made a move, I’d begin to think we just don’t have chemistry or he isn’t attracted to me.

yayayubsea · 2021-10-28T00:55:22+00:00

Yes it would, I like to feel desired by a man

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2021-10-28T01:31:34+00:00

you two got chemistry

I assume also means sexual chemistry, which is the gotcha.

Acting indifferent to sex doesn't tend to build sexual chemistry. So If the girl doesn't have already have sexual interest in you and you act indifferent you are probably going to get put in the friend zone.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-10-29T07:20:31+00:00

As someone with a high sex drive, that would make me unhappy, but I'm sure women with lower sex drives would appreciate it

rilakkumkum · 2021-10-30T03:30:20+00:00

100%. That’s how my boyfriend is, BUT when I initiate, it’s very obvious that he loves what we’re doing.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-10-27T13:42:02+00:00

it’s best when a man is not pushy or annoying about sex, yes. i wouldn’t say it “turns me on”, it just has the benefit of not turning me off.

ohdiddly · 2021-10-27T13:20:10+00:00

No definitely not. I like guys who are super sexual soooo while it wouldn't offend me, it would be a little bit of a turn off if he wasn't really interested in sex.

quiturbitchn · 2021-10-27T13:57:52+00:00

No. If I’m in the mood for sex being with someone who isn’t is a downer. I like and want sex so if my partner isn’t in the mood I’m not even more turned on, I’m disappointed

Barneysparky · 2021-10-27T14:52:07+00:00

My husband is asexual, so I think I can answer this.

He was a fit for me, but he had problems with being that way in relationships before us.

He doesn't initiate sex, or ever look at someone in a sexual way. The gals he dated before me said things like "why don't you ever look at me" to him.

I'm not a fan of PIV sex, in previous relationships, a standard sex life turned me off completely. However in my husband's case after 20 years I still lustfully think of him.

The answer would be, based on my husbands experience for most women no, for the right woman heck yes.

NarniaFox · 2021-10-27T13:42:22+00:00

I'd appreciate it, but it wouldn't make me turned on. Nothing would as long as we haven't developed at least some kind of emotional connection first. It would give me enough time and space for the possibility to develop it though.

That's kind of what my husband did. I really appreciated that he'd never pushed for getting more intimate than I was comfortable with. He knew I'd never dated anyone before him, so I guess he was extra careful. It took us two weeks to start kissing. Not rushing things helped greatly, it gave me time to feel at ease and to start being eager to touch him and for him to touch me.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-10-27T13:58:57+00:00

I personally prefer to wait until I'm more comfortable with the person/trust them more, and were in a relationship so I think that would be the ideal way for a guy to act with me

januaryphilosopher · 2021-10-27T14:31:59+00:00

I'd just consider that to be a normal way to act around someone who you're interested in but not dating.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-27T17:09:50+00:00

Turn me on? No. But I'd certainly be more attracted to him. I don't think being obsessed with sex is hot

rosesonthefloor · 2021-10-27T13:27:01+00:00

First to maybe third date? Yeah, that shit is great. I’m happy to kiss without the worry of escalation in the beginning.

Fourth date and beyond? I’d begin to worry we’re not sexually compatible. If he’s not driving the car, why not?

CimZim · 2021-10-27T13:36:08+00:00

It wouldn't cause increased arousal in me, but it would make him start to be sexually attractive in my mind. I don't see anyone as sexual until getting to know them (essentially all strangers are "eunuchs") so being able to enjoy spending time with a new guy without him pressuring me for sex would be absolutely spectacular.

Also, I typically initiate sex 85% of the time in my current relationship, so if he's cool with waiting for me to take the lead, that's even better.

Ppdebateismental · 2021-10-27T13:44:10+00:00

the setting is ready. But he does not seem so interested in sex

I try to set him up with one of my gay friends.

rft24 · 2021-10-27T16:48:09+00:00

i would appreciate him very much, so long as he’s still affectionate. i think it would make me more attracted to him in general, which helps the sexual attraction as an aftereffect.

it wouldn’t really make me any more or less aroused though, i don’t see why it would.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-10-27T17:26:20+00:00

Yes , it's definitely a good quality. Think it gives the woman and man time to get to know each other in real terms of being individuals instead of just a sex object .

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LittyKitsune · 2021-10-27T13:51:40+00:00

Yes. It's a cruel irony I've had to reconcile over time since I date Catholic guys.

2021-10-27T15:59:49+00:00

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ididntwanttoexist · 2021-10-27T16:16:03+00:00

I wouldn't say "turn-on" but it would make me more interested in him, but only if he were legitimately not that thirsty and didn't see sex as a priority, or was just asexual. If he was just a regular guy with high self-control, or if this was part of some kind of hard-to-get game, it would be a turn-off. I don't not sleep around more because of my self-control, I'm just not interested in it until I have an emotional connection with someone, and even then it's not a priority or need. I would prefer someone the same way.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-10-27T17:20:01+00:00

You amp women up whilst appearing indifferent, and they will jump on you, never failed playing that push pull on the sofa, and she can say please to suck me off.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-27T17:48:05+00:00

How far are we into this? Have we just been sitting on the couch or are we making out and feeling each other up? At that point I would want to have sex. I would respect the other guy not wanting sex. But then i would just be like ????? probably

SaltyFatNuts · 2021-10-27T18:04:21+00:00

Idk if men are truly indifferent to sex I just think some aren’t desperate for it if that makes sense

IcarusKiki · 2021-10-27T18:33:36+00:00

I used to until I found out I was high libido

rosewater6x6x6 · 2021-11-01T00:33:59+00:00

I would find it boring because I like sexual tension.

Title	Would it turn you on if the dude acted kinda indifferent to sex?
Author	goddamnfaith12
Upvotes	16
Comments	107
Date	October 27, 2021 1:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qgwdh7/would_it_turn_you_on_if_the_dude_acted_kinda/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-it-turn-you-on-if-the-dude-acted-kinda.1081563 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081563

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