why is is when a underage male is in a relationship with a a women of age, usually other men are encouraging it?

DivineDaedra · 2022-10-19T22:39:21+00:00

Too many people believe that men (and by extension boys) always want sex. That mindset leads people to encourage relationships like the ones you mention, believe that men can’t be sexually assaulted by women, and similar harmful things.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-20T01:06:28+00:00

I don’t know, probably because they see sex as always a “win” for men (and therefore boys too I guess) and have never been victimized so don’t even think that way. Lack of empathy, think they’re being funny, etc. etc.

But what I do know, is that women preying on underage boys will never be taken seriously as long as men continue to do this. Women are MUCH more likely to take it seriously. So while you can blame the individual women who commit these crimes, you can’t blame women as a whole for the fact our society doesn’t take it seriously.

And when men DO call for justice to be served, it’s not because they feel bad for the boys usually, but because they want revenge on women. They don’t really feel it’s right that men are punished for having sex with underage girls, but they want women punished too just to make it equal. Not because they really think either is bad, or at least that’s how it seems.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-19T21:54:18+00:00

Because it usually hasn't been a worry in these men's lives as children, so they have absolutely no idea how it feels or how it can affect someone and just project their current feelings onto it.

nemma88 · 2022-10-19T22:17:10+00:00

If sex is something to be taken from or given by women (which it is still phrased as such frequently ) then regardless of anything else the guy has gained and is responsible for it.

Imo it really lies with the root ideas around sex.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-19T21:48:41+00:00

Some men who are not all men think “doesn’t matter, had sex!” Or maybe they are envious it never happened to them. Or maybe it did happen to them but they didn’t consider it a negative. They aren’t thinking about the trauma that can cause other teen boys or the lasting impacts.

bunnakay · 2022-10-19T21:48:48+00:00

For the same reason why I've had men tell me I should be grateful anyone wants to sexually assault me: they're pathetic and desperate for sex.

TooHornyToFap · 2022-10-19T23:46:35+00:00

Society in general pushes the idea that men can't be raped. Also men having sex is seen as a good thing.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-20T03:07:02+00:00

It's weird , just like other men will post remarks about a boy getting statutory raped by a teacher , like it's a honor trophy thing. Saying remarks such as where was that teacher when I was in 8th grade , I'd be so hot for teacher ... ironically think is a rock song from the 80s? Men seem to work against their own alot with issues like this.

monkymonkk · 2022-10-20T01:20:30+00:00

Men always complain no one takes male rape seriously but on the other hand men are the ONES making rape jokes and downplaying it. Wake me up when women en masse make disgusting male rape jokes—its mainly a male behavior

EnteFetz · 2022-10-20T14:13:56+00:00

I (M28) currently have an older woman (37) as fuck buddy.

I encourage other guys to also seek out arrangements like that. Girls my age are not interested in me and I would be an incel if I would not go for women older than me.

The sex with her is amazing and I greatly enjoy it with her. So when I hear a younger guy scoring a sexual relationship with an older woman I am happy for him. He gets his needs met and when I was younger I would have loved to have something like that too.

ToberOct · 2022-10-19T22:37:23+00:00

They have a pornified view of the world. They're creepy promiscuous men who'd be willing to have sex with basically anybody. To them it's consensual/wanted, and they have no empathy for those who didn't want it. They think their promiscuity illness is normal and no sex can be undesired.

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-10-20T01:22:39+00:00

The real answer is most guys are fine with being used for sex, from puberty onwards. Men wish that women lusted after them and wanted to fuck them just for existing. Women can’t understand this, and even the best metaphors will never truly explain what it’s like.

I’m sure there are abusive elements in some of these situations, but every guy was wishing they could nail the hot teacher, neighbor, etc and never got the chance. I’ve never heard a dude say “man it would have sucked if the hot neighbor fucked me” lol, we’d all look at him like he’s weird.

You have to understand sex for men is more primal and animalistic than emotional/spiritual connection. Sure when the latter is involved that’s great, but guys just want to bust a nut and not really complicate it more than that.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2022-10-19T23:05:41+00:00

I suppose the idea of a woman risking her career, her reputation, even criminal allegations just to touch his dick is the complete opposite of the typical man's experience, to the point where he can't even relate to it.

So I think there's a disconnect between logically, rationally knowing this woman is a predator and should face consequences, and on some other level also playing on male insecurities where many dudes just feel completely desexualized for much of their lives.

Philip8000 · 2022-10-20T02:46:10+00:00

15-20 years ago, it was pretty well believed that this had no impact on boys, that it was even a beneficial experience for them. I read trained psychologists state this, not merely fools on the internet. Now there's more and more coming out indicating this isn't true. Guys might think they're lucky, mostly those who haven't been in that position.

Leather-Creme2611 · 2022-10-20T00:23:14+00:00

When I was 17 had gf that was 21. She could buy beer, unlike girls my age. Why wouldn't my bros have shown support?

FlyV89 · 2022-10-20T04:13:47+00:00

I dated a 27 years old woman from 16 to 17 I think, for almost a year.

I never felt abussed or decieved or assaulted or anything like that.

Also, as a grown ass man I dated women that, while not underage, was a lot more younger than me.

I don't see anything intrinsically wrong with age gaps, but I admit when it comes to underage people, men have still a more agressive sexuality, which is also lived in a more centripetal way, this is, to the outside, while female sexuality tends to be more fragile and centrifugal (from outside to inside a woman's body).

I know I'll be labeled as sexist, but it is the way it is. What is a lustful, wild and forbiden adventure for a teenage boy can be a living hell for a girl, and the minimal slip from the (in this case adult) man can leave emotional and psychological scars in the woman that can be very hard to overcome.

Also, being overpowered is pretty damn dificult when you are a man that has already hit puberty, and often the practices involved when you date an older woman are not anything rare, just the usual.

For a girl that has just started to give her first steps in the sexual world, stablishing boundaries can be really dificult. Even if the adult she's dating didn't had any bad intentions, the inexperience coupled with the innocense and the lack of boundaries concerning the sexual aspects of a sexual encounter can lead to a very very bad situation.

I've heard from women really fucked up stories that happened when they first started dating and that are mostly a byproduct not of men's malice but inexperience (and an agressive sexuality, of course) and kid you not, some women can carry big traumas about their sexuality because of this for years, even in their 30's and 40's.

This is why both men and women are concerned when an adult man dates an underage and inexperienced girl, and also why the reverse is sometimes overlooked and even cherished by some men (but not that often by women, I must say).

When my dad found out, for example, that I was banging a 27 years old woman, the first thing he asked me was "is she pretty?" and laughed his ass off when I showed him a picture. He then kinda "talked" with my mom, I remember my mother called me, she seemed worried, I told her she was nice and very pretty, she then asked me if I had met her at school. When I told her she was a gyno she said "Wait... WHAT????" hahaha... She was horryfied, I almost gave her a heart attack.

I know for sure if I was a girl, my dad would have gone to the guy's house and kick his ass, and my mother would have kicked his ass while in the floor too haha.

iamprosciutto · 2022-10-19T23:00:24+00:00

Personally, I think those women should be tried, imprisoned, and registered on the sex offender list just like the inverse situation. Boys are stupid and will happily traumatize the shit out of themselves to look cool for their friends.

To expand on this, I think there should be grey between the ages of 18 and 21. As soon as you can go buy alcohol, underage sex should hardline not be allowed anymore. Before then, there should be some leeway. It would be too easy for a 21 year old to go get a bottle of vodka and some Orange juice and get practically any 15 year old smashed and easy to take advantage of. Alcohol is an unfair advantage over minors who aren't even considered adults

FancyComfortable4678 · 2022-10-19T23:42:26+00:00

I was just thinking about this the other day. I don’t think we should change any laws, i agree that there is an unacceptable power imbalance between an adult woman (especially a teacher which seems most common) and a male minor…. But also I think that if it happened to me at 15-17ish I don’t think I would have suffered any harm. And I don’t think that should be controversial to say.

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-10-20T01:19:41+00:00

Because they are sheeple

MarBitt · 2022-10-20T03:33:39+00:00

Some male species are willing to fight for sex, kill for sex, and some outright risk their lives to mate with a stronger and larger female. Obviously, some men let these animalistic parts of the mind influence their judgment.

And if they don't have experience that directly says the opposite, then "sex is good for men". Sometimes, even after having the traumatic experience, they convince themselves that they actually wanted the sex as a mechanism to cope with the trauma.

It's a bit like when a raped woman becomes extremely promiscuous, because "if she always wants sex, then no one can rape her". A way to maintain the appearance of power and control. And men who condone the rape of male children in this way are also actually protecting their image of power and control.

The other extreme reaction is hatred of women caused by the fear that a man will never be able to fully satisfy a woman. That she is the stronger sex sexually and therefore needs to be restrained so that women do not exhaust, destroy and dominate men sexually.

New-Context831 · 2022-10-20T05:11:18+00:00

Us guys get to stupid horny, and we spend a lot of time wanking it in those early years and we wish we had someone instead, it's sad really we could do it like 10 times a day and don't have many takers

AidsVictim · 2022-10-20T06:15:17+00:00

Some relationships with older women are abusive or traumatizing, typically when it's a much older woman in some authority position. There's some justification to be wary of these situations because they do have a higher occurrence of abuse.

But the truth is a lot of men would have been perfectly happy having sex with somewhat older women in their teen years in the right situation and it's not terribly uncommon. I know a couple of men who had sex with women in their 30's as teens and they both seem fairly successful and happy as far as their romantic/sexual life goes.

Overlord484 · 2022-10-19T23:11:52+00:00

Because most men suffer more from not getting laid enough than from being sexually abused, so they're identifying/empathizing with the underage male in a way that is (understandably) blind to the harm that that situation can cause.

radiculoso · 2022-10-20T01:55:10+00:00

Those men are applying their adult male fantasies to these situations. They wish it had happened to them.

darksoul1622 · 2022-10-19T21:58:34+00:00

I know the guys here are going to lose their minds when I say the infamous word patriarchy but it is true the feminist are right here allow to explain.

Under patriarchal understanding of masculinity, masculinity is measured by strength and sex the more the sex the better, a man's value is directly increased by his sexual conquests and in the case of an underage student not only did he get sex without having to do anything but he also raised his social status among his peers without even doing anything.

There is also ( according to feminist) the patriarchal belief that men always desire sex and are the dominant strong gender and that women are not actors in their on Right but simply objects of desire to be conquered.

Thus after all this is considered the idea that men are takers and women taken makes the idea of a female raping a male ( even underage) quite an oxymoron

lastly I leave you with this pop culture detective video hope it helps

urukshai3 · 2022-10-19T23:20:05+00:00

Incel is a code work to be able to hate men with autism and arperger. Some women have those conditions too, but as they need zero effort in dating, then it is not an issue.

It blows my mind the hysteria of seeing these men as terrorists or violent, while clearly felons and violent men are being fucked by women every time and being an incel is not even on the top reasons for terrorism today.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-10-19T22:00:46+00:00

Some men are against this. However, I am not one of them. I can understand how sometimes it’s abusive. I was raped by my male cousin when I was 9. I would never say “good for them” or “lucky” just for having sex. Why was my situation bad? Cause I didn’t want it. He manipulated me, made me afraid of saying no, he even punched me. That was horrible. Now if I had been gay, if I had liked him and wanted to have sex with him and I had. Then I don’t think it would be bad. Other than the fact that he is family of course.

My point is, as long as they both want it, I don’t think of it as bad.

Can I cause trauma? I think if the boy wants to have sex and he consented and desires the person he is having sex with and no one is being manipulated or threatened…. It would be just as dramatic as if they had sex with someone their age. To me actions matter more than their age.

drew8311 · 2022-10-20T01:52:10+00:00

We are not really encouraging it, but rather just wish that happened to us. Having sex with a hot teacher definitely beats being a virgin at that age and probably would have set me up for more success with women the following years.

purplepillreality · 2022-10-20T03:16:57+00:00

You misspelled “predatory relationship”

ClaraBow01 · 2022-10-20T04:25:46+00:00

They are probably projecting their Middle School fantasies onto a real situation of abuse. That’s why their tune is slightly different when the abuser is a man abusing a boy. Plus the lie that men always want sex. That lie is used to justify sexual violence against males and females.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-19T22:45:45+00:00

Because we support our Bros over here, no I'm not going to get too graphic because Reddit is weird about this stuff but when I was [ insert the name of famous Winger song] I had an affair with a woman who was in her early forties, I loved it, it was a fun time, I was able to actually keep my mouth shut and not ruin a good time and I certainly wasn't going to let other people in society try to gaslight me into thinking I was a victim or anything, so I was all good.

This is one of those areas where men and women are not the same, now back in high school I certainly remember a lot of what I would consider borderline relationships between the girls in my age range and college guys or older High School guys, but we also weren't on social media fighting for victimhood points all the time either🤷‍♂️

Now there is way too young anyways certainly not condoning petofillyaa, and I mean actual petofillya not the way that feminists use it but if a guy is [ the number 20 - 3] and a half years old and is dating a girl who's 25, I'm not going to be magically more or less okay with it because six more months have passed lol

2022-10-20T00:30:17+00:00

Female sexuality isn't predatory like men's is

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-10-19T22:46:10+00:00

I won't say right or wrong because that seems very case by case, and even then, wrong to what degree? Deserving counseling, community service, jail time , prison, sex offender registry?

I will say that it is definitely different.

Would I look at a 15 yr old boy hooking up with an adult woman different than if the gender was reversed? Absolutely.

Would it be different if the adult was 18 vs 40 again, yes.

Female sex offenders often get very light comparative sentencing and I believe that's probably perfectly fair for most. The nature of it is almost certainly much much softer and a lot of that is based on a formula used to determine recidivism, female offenders are rare enough the data is not enough to make that determination and the rates of recidivism are even lower.

Anyway I'd encourage a 15-16 yr old boy who's getting laid regardless of with whom, as long as he wanted it and they were his age and up. Shit I did, and I certainly have no complaints.

Why? Because I was fucking thrilled to have sex at 15 and would have been since at least 14 and I doubt most boys are much different there.

DryProfessional8079 · 2022-10-20T16:04:01+00:00

id rather have fucked the hot 25 year old sub teacher when i was 15/16 than be a pathetic virgin now.

greyok_ · 2022-10-20T07:00:16+00:00

Because it's woman-initiated, a rarity in the dating world.

LDARbeforeROPE · 2022-10-20T09:43:38+00:00

Because it's hot

NoTomboyGfWhyLivee · 2022-10-20T11:46:36+00:00

Because women is the one who choose their mates, by having a partner that is above his expectations he have his value increase socially.

It's goes with the preselection, he got a women that seems out his league, so women think that there's something she don't see about him.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-10-20T13:56:12+00:00

I dont understand the question, the men told you why, cuz if they were boys they would hook up with the older girl. Im the same, i tried to when i was young.

domdomdom333 · 2022-10-20T00:02:20+00:00

Because underage boys are egged on and made fun of by other boys and even men if they haven't had sex yet. A lot of men look back into these years of torment and wish it wasn't them, wish they'd have just gotten over a done with it and to have an older woman appear and seemingly offer exactly what you want with no downsides is like something that will only happen in imagination.

Filmguy000 · 2022-10-19T22:06:12+00:00

Because it's alpha.

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Warm_Gur8832 · 2022-10-19T22:04:33+00:00

Many men/ teenage guys hate the extreme expectation of personal responsibility and control, and consequently love the notion of having a more experienced woman take care of things for them.

That isn’t to say underage isn’t really weird and super bad. But I think there’s a massive psychological shadow underlying this.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-10-20T01:41:49+00:00

We raise women to be more open and trusting, and to be more cooperative, which makes them vulnerable to manipulation by adults. So we are more hyper vigilant about that.
As far as guys go, we are struggling to figure out anything on our own, so the idea of having an older mentor isn't as revolting as when the genders are switched.

abaxeron · 2022-10-20T07:58:33+00:00

Internet tends to bubble. Unless you made a randomized sample, you are seeing what you are subscribed to. Not to mention that the vast majority of social media is anonymizable, and you can't really be sure if it's a man or a woman pretending to be a man on that side of the wire.

Plus, I suspect that comments and discussions with genders reversed are much more closely and rapidly moderated.

jayval90 · 2022-10-20T15:28:26+00:00

Honestly, I think it's a trauma response of the guys saying those things. In men, those sexual traumas at a young age often make them overly fixated on sex. This fixation directly corresponds to thinking that such instances are a good thing.

Btw, I think guys get such trauma from a lot more than just sex.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-10-20T19:59:07+00:00

What ages are we talking about? He’s 16 and she’s 18? That’s cool. He’s 14 and she’s 21? Not cool.

Khanluka · 2022-10-20T22:16:35+00:00

I can only speak for my self. And 30 year old me still has wet dreams of his hit high schol teacher of 15 years ago. And if it had happend then. That be pretty great.

Title	why is is when a underage male is in a relationship with a a women of age, usually other men are encouraging it?
Author	DokiMin
Upvotes	38
Comments	117
Date	October 19, 2022 9:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y8fbkv/why_is_is_when_a_underage_male_is_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-is-when-a-underage-male-is-in-a.1136407 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136407

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