Can a virgin be good enough at sex?

CimZim · 2022-11-15T18:15:33+00:00

I was a virgin the first time my lover and I had sex, I am his 11th sex partner. During it, I did very well at pleasing him but that's because we'd spent the previous few weeks learning how each other's bodies worked, and figuring out what felt best. If I'd been a virgin who didn't have any of that education with my guy ahead of time, I don't think the experience would have been good for either of us.

Novadina · 2022-11-15T18:16:15+00:00

Yeah it’s possible. Usually it might be a bit awkward the first time but if someone is really good at paying attention to body language, has done research so knows the common erogenous zones to try, and as a man has practiced not cumming so he has stamina, or as a woman has practiced with dildos before so isn’t nervous about penetration (being scared causes things to be tense which then causes pain), they can be pretty good. I didn’t even know my partner was a virgin when we first slept together, he was a bit nervous but I thought it was just new partner jitters, he was still better in bed than majority of men I’ve been with. It was because he’s excellent at trying things and seeing my reaction, and continuing or moving on to something else based on that. It was actually the first time I had orgasmed from oral - until then I thought I didn’t even like receiving oral!

mmm_try_again12345 · 2022-11-15T19:00:29+00:00

Sex is easy, don’t let people fool you. You might not be ‘great’ the first time but everything you need to learn you can learn in like 1 hour.

edgyny · 2022-11-15T18:24:20+00:00

I'd compare it to learning to ride a bike. Your first rides aren't particularly technically impressive or skillful. But your first rides also don't really say much about potential.

AngelxEyez · 2022-11-15T19:36:07+00:00

I “took” my bfs virginity (he was 22, I was 23) and it was great. Only gotten better and better over the last two years.

Listen to what ur partner says, read the body language and facial expressions, Do not try to copy porn.

LoomingCrimson · 2022-11-15T18:15:38+00:00

Chemistry between partners is more important than the mechanical aspect of sex.

That being said, mechanics do factor in and everyone has a baseline for ability/dexterity etc.

Someone with a low mechanical baseline will take longer to develop their ability. A person who has a high mechanical baseline could perform well almost immediately.

It really depends on the aptitude and people involved.

Can a virgin instantly be good enough to satisfy their partner? Yes.

Will they develop their sexual ability with more experiences? Almost certainly.

Edit: For clarity, a mechanical baseline would refer to someone’s natural ability to utilize their body to perform sexual acts. Control of their tongue, fingers(and other parts of their body) and how good they are at using them with their partner.

briiiana1122 · 2022-11-15T19:19:15+00:00

A virgin can get good at sex. I dont think most virgins are good right out the gate.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-15T21:44:23+00:00

The odds are stacked against being good in bed if you are a virgin your first couple of times (and then after that of course you wouldn't be a virgin any longer).

But if you study ahead of time (actual good quality sex ed, not porn, not Tik Tok, not most of YouTube), if you are curious, if you ask a lot of questions and check in a lot with your partner, you both can have a good time.

I agree with CimZim alone that if it's a progressive journey to losing your virginity over the course of days or weeks or months, you get to know more and more of their body and you'll have some practice and familiarity with what causes them discomfort and what causes them pleasure that will mean your first time will be a lot better than most people's.

ohdiddly · 2022-11-16T02:36:26+00:00

I've had sex with a few virgins and they've all been really great experiences, but that's likely because I often take the lead during sex & I'm super communicative so there probably isn't much room for them to fuck it up.

Simply being comfortable with the person makes all the difference.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-11-15T18:04:51+00:00

Yes. Use your mouth.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-11-15T18:11:42+00:00

My husband was a virgin when we first had sex. So was I. No oral, no handjobs, no sexual experience besides kissing on the lips prior to this.

I finished multiple times when we first had sex. He lied to me and told me he slept with a ton of women when we first dated (like I said, he was actually a virgin). But I didn’t find out he was a virgin until much later after we had already been having sex for a year. It wasn’t his skills that gave it away - it was the fact that he kept telling inconsistent stories about his “exes.”

I would say he’s actually fantastic in bed.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-11-15T18:23:09+00:00

So, to downhill ski, you basically need good coordination and the right equipment, right?

What do you think will happen if you are coordinated, have all the right equipment, read a bunch of books about skiing and then get off of the chair lift at the top of a mountain?

You're going to be completely out of control, go way too fast, because doing it isn't anything like reading about it, right up until you crash in a spectacularly embarrassing fashion and hopefully don't hurt yourself or anyone else in the process...

Yeah, it'll be about like that. Not to worry, it gets better with practice 🤣

TempoIndigo · 2022-11-15T20:25:48+00:00

Yes but it’s awkward. Figure out where her bits are and communicate.

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-11-15T20:44:31+00:00

Yes, first off you have to be reasonable. The first handful of times with a virgin may not the the best.

But I will tell you notch count has no bearing on ability in bed either. Some women with a high N count starfish sex. Some don’t.

Key is as a man to be a good communicator and tell them what works and what doesn’t. Even better if you tell them while you are fucking because most women love being led in the bedroom.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-11-16T04:59:34+00:00

It's complicated. Different people have different needs and standards.

But getting someone off isn't really rocket science. The issue is that for a lot of women, orgasm isn't really enough. They can get that at home. What makes a guy great at sex is in fact not something easily learned, as many people here seem to think it is.

Rather, it can actually be something most people are born with or not. It is about charisma, confidence, being in touch with your body and hers, not in your head, etc. Many women talk about it being a sensuality thing. They can see it in how he moves and dances. And a lack of awkwardness, etc. This kind of man creates an erotic EXPERIENCE.

On the other hand, some people are more about raw physical pleasure. They want to maximize it. In this case, sure, learning basic technique and what your partner likes is the key here.

bunnakay · 2022-11-15T18:10:38+00:00

Depends on what someone defines as good sex. For me, probably not.

Pizzashillsmom · 2022-11-15T18:18:09+00:00

The first time? Probably not

Eventually? Of course

And for LTR only the latter should matter, but we live in an extremely hedonistic society that struggles more and more with the ability to delay gratification.

2022-11-15T19:00:27+00:00

You should have stated whether you're a man or woman

If you're a man it's going to be tough for a while these chicks really get around they expect you to be a stud from the start, you can jerk off all you want It doesn't match what a pussy feels like

If you're a chick it can be very very exciting for us fellas

Moon-on-my-mind · 2022-11-15T20:31:00+00:00

Yeah they can. Intense feelings for each other also plays a great big part here. Setting a proper relaxed atmosphere, reassurance, etc.

I was my husband's first and i knew he was a virgin at the time. I had 3 relationships b4 him. In short, we went at it all night, literally.

Yes, he needed guidance, info of how i like or don't like this and that, it worked great. With patience and understanding it can go pretty good. Also, i wanted him to have the best fucking first time of his life so he won't forget me (in case we wouldn't work out together), so i put all my talents into practice.

It's all about communication, atmosphere, understanding and patience. Also love and lust add a lot to the experience.

King-SAMO · 2022-11-16T02:57:16+00:00

Yes, but you’ve got better odds of rolling a hard 8; if you just happen to be naturally pretty good at reading body language and touching people, and you’re getting down with someone your super compatible with who happens to be a really succinct communicator, then yeah it’s possible to rock their world.

but maybe hedge your expectations.

2022-11-16T15:55:46+00:00

Good sex is something that all the participants work on together, its not something you do to someone. Two virgins could have the most awkward, accidentally elbowing each other type sex and it still be good because they enjoyed it. Two people who've had a lot of sex (but don't have a vested interest in each others pleasure or are pornsick or whatever) could have bad sex.

Obviously with experience comes a certain... technical ability. But that is only one part of it. Creativity, empathy and communication are also key.

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-11-16T20:05:30+00:00

I'm dying at "sex havers".

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-11-15T18:04:26+00:00

Like…the first time?? If you’re a woman then it’s not going to be magical for the most part. It’s gonna be awkward and hurt a bit but if your partners worth it he will make it good and enjoyable.

If you’re a guy, you might just have a little performance anxiety and come early. But you can also help that by not putting so much pressure on the moment. Make sure your partner gets off before you through non-PIV sex. And then go from there.

bobcatgoldthwait · 2022-11-15T19:57:40+00:00

I was late to the party getting laid. I had a couple one night stands, and a few-night fling before landing in my first relationship. So basically, by the time I was with that girlfriend and finally started having regular sex, I'd only had sex a handful of times. Our sex life was great and I got her off regularly, basically right from the start. She never once complained or told me to work on anything, we just worked right from the start.

If you're actually concerned about whether or not you'll be good that puts you above a lot of guys. Maybe previous girls I've slept with just say this to boost my ego, but if I'm to believe them, a lot of guys are really bad at sex. Maybe they're extremely selfish lovers, maybe they're trying to be like they see in porn, but I regularly get feedback from new partners that sex with me is refreshing, and I'd say it's because I actually want to please them. The more my partner enjoys it, the more I enjoy it.

You're not going to jump right in and be an amazing lover right off the bat, but if you actually pay attention to the girl and how she's responding to your touch, that'll take you a long way. Communication is also important; it's okay to tell them "hey, feel free to give me any constructive feedback".

abaxeron · 2022-11-15T21:48:54+00:00

Good first time is possible but rare, and should not be counted on.

trolltaskforce · 2022-11-15T21:01:46+00:00

Yes if you are a woman. No if you are a man (except in rare cases).

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-11-15T18:15:24+00:00

I mean probably not unless you've been watching like training videos and tutorials, you're still very inexperienced, the first time I had sex my girlfriend and I were both virgins I can objectively say I sucked, came in like 2 minutes at best lol, fast forward my wife was a virgin, but I obviously went into that a lot better, I did most of the work, we were in missionary pretty much the whole time, but I can't say she was "good at it" you can never expect somebody to be there very first time doing something

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-11-15T18:34:35+00:00

You might suck at being a prostitute, which pretty much the way we treat each other, definitely the way "strong feminist women" treat men regarding sex these days.

It's their problem.

Nobody gives a fuck about the orgasm gap, the hypocrisy is too cringe to even argue about.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-11-15T18:24:54+00:00

No a virgin woman can’t be and isn’t good at sex she can’t ride, she can’t throw it back, she can’t do shit

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-15T18:32:59+00:00

You're not going to be great the very first time. But all of those things can help you learn quickly. So the same as most skills, really.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-15T19:19:22+00:00

Define good enough? I mean if the person wants sex with you, then you're good enough. Do you mean will you blow their mind and do all the moves of the dance great? Probably not. It's really not a big deal tho. Most women complaining about men being bad in bed are talking about one night stands (men who don't know their body and don't care to learn) and men they've been in extended relationships with that never bothered to learn their bodies, cared to learn, or instituted changes from suggestions. I really don't think they're typically picking on virgins.

I think most people either laugh about their first time with fondness because it wasn't great, but it was memorable or it totally sucked and that's kind of funny too. The aversion to virginity is an aversion to finding out if this is a guy who wants to learn, an aversion to pre-supposed social awkwardness (if you're older) and a general aversion to being someone's first time that I think everyone shares because on some level most of us realize how important it is and how emotional and we don't want to fuck someone's brain up.

But I don't think the dislike of virgins is really about sex. Listening to body language and trying new things shows care and concern to change and please someone. That's someone you can work with, maybe not to orgasm the first or even seventh time. But several months in, it's likely that person will be blowing your mind.

purplish_possum · 2022-11-15T18:41:56+00:00

Female virgin sure.

Male virgin in probably not.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-11-15T20:10:50+00:00

For women yes, for men no. As a guy you need a certain amount of stamina and to know how to read a woman's body. Those things only come from experience.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-11-15T20:13:48+00:00

Do you think someone who has read about riding a bike can get ride a bike right off the bat?

damageddude · 2022-11-15T22:26:59+00:00

As the old joke goes, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.

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No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2022-11-15T18:24:16+00:00

Depends on your definition of enough. Also people have different approaches to sex so even if you are great for the next one you maybe bad. So the answer is... Maybe but it's a lot less likely.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-11-15T19:53:50+00:00

Every person has different sexual preferences. To be good at sex, you need to be able to communicate (respectfully) and not be selfish.

To answer your question- the best lover Ive ever had was a virgin when we met (I didnt know it until much later though) and the worst lays I ever had were men who liked casual sex and had a higher count than Id like (I also didnt know this history at the time-if I had known at the time I would have weeded them out during dating, i prefer men not into casual sex) The difference was the first guy was better at communicating what he liked and being receptive to me doing so, and not being selfish.

a_HUGH_jaz · 2022-11-15T20:55:32+00:00

They definitely can. I was. But I’m also hung, sooooo I think it’s a wee bit easier….

Time_Fox · 2022-11-16T00:59:56+00:00

Yes.

FlyV89 · 2022-11-16T01:14:16+00:00

What?

What the fuck?

Next question.

sameffect · 2022-11-16T01:48:24+00:00

If you’re a guy, no

dumbbitchcas · 2022-11-16T02:33:25+00:00

No. And it’s part of the reason I don’t even feel like starting this late in life. I’m gonna be shit at it, why try.

Son_of_Tzu · 2022-11-16T08:42:41+00:00

Only had one virgin and she was among the best sex partners i ever had.

I dont think virginity is much of a factor in sex skills if not at all.

IME those bad at sex do share common patterns of feminism ideology, an excessive tendency over verbal communication and truth to be said subpar physical attractiveness.

alchemist10000 · 2022-11-16T17:23:17+00:00

'sex haver' lmao...sounds like a line from a seth rogen movie...

SexPervert69 · 2022-11-17T16:21:13+00:00

If you're willing to eat a chick out I don't think it's an issue.

The knowledge that I want to eat pussy keeps my fears of premature nutting my first time at ease.

I'll report back if it ever happens.

Title	Can a virgin be good enough at sex?
Author	ExpensiveShoulder580
Upvotes	31
Comments	134
Date	November 15, 2022 6:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yw4tfx/can_a_virgin_be_good_enough_at_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-a-virgin-be-good-enough-at-sex.1140206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140206

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