75% of men are too scared to chat up women

Hooded_Eyes · 2022-11-21T15:19:29+00:00

Scared is the wrong word. A simple risk assessment based on current events, anecdotal summaries and even past experiences should be enough to make a rational decision. If that decision looks like some sort of withdrawal from the dating marketplace then so be it. Id rather be mocked for being a coward or virgin loser than sitting in a prison cell for being labelled a creep. That's a very simple decision actually.

jokerfriend6 · 2022-11-21T14:19:11+00:00

I have 3 boys and I can tell you this is true. My boys are careful talking to girls due to being very aware of false allegations. It is said the judicial system has been weaponized against males.

ChequerMate · 2022-11-21T15:31:04+00:00

My fiancé and I had a chat about this sort of thing, what we would teach our sons.

Pretty much exactly this. Do not flirt with women you don't 100% trust. Do not have 'one night stands', do not be alone with a woman you don't trust. Because of exactly this. The single biggest risk to young men growing up today is a 'false allegation'.

How on earth boys are meant to actually meet girls and have relationships these days - it's a minefield.

What a sad state of affairs. But as they say, you have to raise your children for the way the world is and not the way you'd want the world to be

And that's very much the way the world is right now.

*sigh*

punkerthanpunk · 2022-11-21T15:07:46+00:00

lol and the "dating trends expert" thinks this is positive

heathmcrigsby · 2022-11-21T15:33:57+00:00

The modern woman’s standards are so out of control that approaching them is a waste of time.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-11-21T14:05:55+00:00

Not scared, more cannot be bothered with the bad attitudes, risk, entitlement and ungrateful behaviour. Women are the architects of their own misery. Don’t want to get pumped and dumped??…then stop chasing chads and players. It’s not rocket science.

UltimateShame · 2022-11-21T16:27:26+00:00

Why are they always trying to paint a picture of a scared man? That’s so ridiculous.

IceCorrect · 2022-11-21T13:47:15+00:00

Women dont complain later that only "creeps" talk to you.

Its intresting how feminist give themself right to tell all women how to behave, what to like, how to live. Beacuse 66% want be aproached more, while "dating expert" say that its good, so minority of women make rules for majority of them, but if women wont stand for themself agaisnt new opressor no one can, thats why feminist make this man-hating narrative - to prevent men to ever help women to be free from their new slave master

aries0413 · 2022-11-21T15:25:14+00:00

I usually get the "why are you bothering me worm" look from most women, even if its just a hi or good morning comment.

Locrick · 2022-11-21T14:36:26+00:00

Why take such risk?is just better mind your own business treat them with respect like everyone else and avoid problems

legend0102 · 2022-11-21T15:19:45+00:00

I think it heavily depends on the culture. I moved to Japan some months ago, and it’s so different from the west.

Approaching women doesn’t make you feel like a creep, and most women react respectfully even if you end up rejected.

Today I cold approached a girl at an anime store, got her number and will meet her next week. Unthinkable in my country.

Dalebreh · 2022-11-21T23:45:02+00:00

It's still depressingly hilarious to me that the woman who essentially began #MeToo (Asia Argento) got discovered like a month later that she SA'd a young man and he was suing. Then we have Rose McGowan and her allegations, and the list goes on

Davos7941 · 2022-11-21T19:21:59+00:00

"Dating trends expert at happn says: “It is positive to see that #metoo has created such a tangible cultural shift. Men are conscious of being respectful in their language and their approach, which can only be a good thing when it comes to instigating a relationship. It is also positive to see that women are open to being approached in the right way in most situations and that the digital space is creating an environment where all singles feel comfortable and safe in approaching each other.”" So subjective 😏 Positive?!

throwawayincelacc · 2022-11-21T22:58:25+00:00

The research of 1,000 singles, commissioned by dating app happn, found that 72% of men didn’t think it was acceptable to tell someone they look beautiful. More than half (52%) felt the same way about extending an invitation for a drink and two thirds (69%) didn’t think it was acceptable to ask someone out to dinner.

However 65% of women said that they would laugh at a saucy chat up line and only 4% said they’d be offended. Can I get you a drink was deemed the most appropriate chat up line by (48%), followed by: you’re looking very beautiful today (26%).

Truly a clown world.

"only 4%" can still mean a death sentence for a man. This is exactly the type of shit that makes men wary against approaching women. An offended misandrist is the worst nightmare of many single men.

It's also funny that men buying women something was considered the most appropriate.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2022-11-21T16:47:30+00:00

Congratulations ladies, you played yourselves.

NJ_Mets_Fan · 2022-11-21T16:58:22+00:00

It's just not worth the risk tbh. In a believe all women culture, if your advances aren't welcome, regardless how polite or impolite you are, if that woman is uncomfortable, she will call you out, you will get tossed out, and you will be flagged as a creeep for the rest of your life.

Not worth it. Besides, people are out with their friends, you're out with your friends. Enjoy time with people who actually care about you instead of trying to hit on a stranger who might find making a sexual assault claim funny

the2xstandard · 2022-11-21T17:55:29+00:00

Sounds to me like women should do more approaching then.

SamaelET · 2022-11-21T17:03:05+00:00

72% of men didn’t think it was acceptable to tell someone they look beautiful

Yes this is ridiculous but I would like to draw attention on the fact that this standard probably also work one way, as this is the case sexual harassement and touching. No matter what is "appropriate" or not, I would just like respect to be extended to men and boys.

2022-11-21T17:40:49+00:00

Too many women have no class when rejecting men. I barely make eye contact with women in public anymore.

Daman_1985 · 2022-11-21T17:44:32+00:00

Notice that when they write about these things, they always use terms like "scared" or similar. They want to ridicule and provoke with half truths.

The real truth, or common sense, is this: when an organism find something that its dangerous, the instincts kick off and one of the first reactions is to avoid that danger. Thats it, nothing more, nothing else.

It simply is risky and not worth it. But that idea isn't gonna appear too much.

Mechamiclas · 2022-11-21T20:09:49+00:00

I mean yeah some of it is the underlying fear of losing my career & reputation to a single false accusation. There's nothing cowardly about choosing to avoid such a risky gamble.

It's also because I refuse to be treated as a walking meal ticket or disposable asset. When women finally stop dumping all the hatred and all dating responsibilities onto men is when the "one man waltz" can be called the Tango again. Until then the only winning move is not to play.

somethingneet · 2022-11-21T18:21:25+00:00

I'm simply doing what they asked me to do lmao

Hype-And-Style · 2022-11-21T19:11:26+00:00

Women: "Leave us alone, leave us alone, leave us alone."

Also women: "I'm making it obvious I don't know why he doesn't make a move."

Countrysedan · 2022-11-21T21:39:46+00:00

Scared? No. Worth any effort? Yes. I almost don’t care what she looks like anymore just give me genuine and friendly. You can tell inside of 5 seconds if a woman is a PITA.

shydude92 · 2022-11-21T17:11:00+00:00

As usual, they end up saying how it's supposedly a good thing and has made men more respectful despite both men and women saying that it has impacted their love lives and generally unhappy with it, because it's also become unacceptable for most mainstream media outlets to criticize any aspect of the feminist movement, even if they advocated that 2+2=5 or something totally absurd in general.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-11-21T16:02:05+00:00

And they should be. This is by design.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2022-11-21T16:55:51+00:00

There's more risk and less payoff. I wouldn't want to even be friends with a 3rd wave Feminist, never mind be in a relationship with one!

legice · 2022-11-21T16:44:12+00:00

Scared of looking like a creep or being so unimportant, that Im replaced within a week. Had that happen so many times, so now I only make advancements, when she makes them first.

So far, works, not amazingly, but I learned that I need a strong woman in my life, not one who needs me to be strong all the time.

Slikdijit · 2022-11-21T17:38:57+00:00

For context, I am a 6ft tall, in shape, Marine, have my own apartment, make close to 6 fig. I was at a club last weekend and had a horrible experience. I bought a girl a drink and was chatting with her next thing I know her guy friend is telling me to gtfo and stop following them around. Approached some more women and was told, "GET AWAY FROM US" very rudely. Had married women and women with boyfriends hitting on me. Complete waste of my time and such a drag. Men were the complete opposite, I hung out with a bunch of dudes I'd never met at a sports bar and played pool and we had a blast. It's really crazy the dichotomy of the sexes.

chenzo17 · 2022-11-21T17:43:14+00:00

Some reason I won’t approach a woman for a date: I’m not interested in them, they’ve said and/or do things that make me lose interest, I assume they already have a significant other or are lesbian.

NickTesla2018 · 2022-11-21T22:25:46+00:00

Unless you're Galactus Chad, it's way too dangerous nowadays. Women are mad? Hey, you got what you wanted.

needalife94 · 2022-11-22T05:04:54+00:00

Here's my thing. I stopped dating because I came to the realisation that I am not wanted. For multiple reasons but that's a different discussion. Why bother trying with how the social climate is going. I know that I'm unattractive. So if I approach a women , more than likey , i'm going to be seen as a creep. I don't want to be labeled as a creep so I just stopped trying. Isn't that what women wanted anyway ? Feminist always said to stop approaching them , so we obliged.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-11-21T18:49:33+00:00

This one particularly hit the hardest. I 've talked sooo many of my friends even relatives / cousins, and this is completely correct. Not only that but there is another side of this. There are / well; could be / severe and extremely demoralizing to depressing consequences if the opposite sex doesn't likes and/or repulsed by the said attempts at conversation. One friend I knew from high school literally has to be hidden away from the mobs gathered by the girl he tried speak. The times are extremely harsh and brutalizing on Men particularly / specifically young men and boys...

Ftpiercecracker1 · 2022-11-21T16:56:05+00:00

Yes I am scared, but not to the degree they would have you believe.

I wish I had the opportunity to ask out more girls, but I just don't. I'm not asking out girls I don't find attractive. Why would I spend my money, my time, my gas etc etc on someone I'm not even sexually attracted to??

It's not fair to lead her on and it's not fair to me.

The problem is a severe lack of quality females, more red flags than a communist Chinese parade and frankly I don't have what they want, so it's a lose-lose. I lose my time because 91% of girls have instant deal breaker red flags and even if she didn't, she would not be interested in me because I don't have what women want (666).

hifi3xx · 2022-11-22T00:24:20+00:00

We aren't scared its just not worth the risk anymore.

Untimely_manners · 2022-11-22T02:50:57+00:00

I would have been interested to know the ages in those statistics. In my 20s and early 30s I would have been scared to approach women for some of those reasons.

In my 40s I am not scared to approach women but tired of hearing how they blame their ex's for their decisions, mainly its having kids in their 20s and not working. They chose a divorce after the rise of social media gave them a self inflated ego that the grass is greener and now they are in their late 30s, no husband to look after them and they have to get a job.

None of that is my fault, we all had equal opportunities, you just chose what you thought was the easier life and its bit you in the ass and you can't accept blame for your decisions.

LeButtMonkey · 2022-11-22T06:06:07+00:00

Women have worked very hard to make themselves as unappealing to men as possible. Why would they think that men would want to approach them?

graffitol · 2022-11-21T20:03:40+00:00

My son was nervous about it when he reached that age. I basically told him that a girl has made her mind up about him before he’s actually said anything. So just approach politely and say just about anything friendly or silly. It doesn’t really matter what it is. If you make a joke, any joke, even a duff one, about something and she’s not keen on you she’ll not be amused, so discreetly move on. If you make the same joke but she likes the look of you, she’ll think it’s the funniest thing ever and you’ll know that it’s okay.

This always worked for me and it appears to be the same for him considering he’s got a serious girlfriend.

Thats-bk · 2022-11-21T18:43:23+00:00

It's not being scared.

It's knowing it's not worth your time.

blu02 · 2022-11-21T17:58:27+00:00

Simply asking if you're using the equipment at the gym qualifies you to be a creep these days.

F1r3seed · 2022-11-21T21:04:27+00:00

The article talked about people saying the me too movement had negative consequences only for the article to say the me too movement was a good thing for men, that was kinda contradictory wasn’t it?

coffeeinvenice · 2022-11-21T23:24:00+00:00

The title of the article doesn't match the content of the survey. Nowhere in the body of the data does it say that men are "scared" to chat up women. The data seems to indicate that most men surveyed don't think it's appropriate to comment on the physical appearance of a woman they don't know, and/or not 'hit on' a woman.

I'm also uncomfortable with the underlying presumption that if a man doesn't want to approach a woman he doesn't know, he is somehow 'weak' or 'defective'.

Training-Rich5057 · 2022-11-21T23:42:45+00:00

Or maybe we just don't want to trouble ourselves talking to someone you cant really trust. What woman is actually worth talking to? Will it be fun or will it just be more trouble and a waste of my precious time? I have moved on and am moving forward without them.

Complicated_Peanuts · 2022-11-22T00:38:19+00:00

The end of the article has some interesting mental gymnastics at play to spin all that as positive.

animadesignsltd2020 · 2022-11-22T01:57:30+00:00

You shouldn’t need to talk to women, if they come to you instead! Just saying!

ExtentionBobcat · 2022-11-22T07:06:19+00:00

well they wanted men to leave them alone, congratulations you got your wish. don't start crying about it now

StingRayFins · 2022-11-22T07:46:04+00:00

Man... Society and women really hate men. Genuinely breaks my heart. I try so hard every single day to stay positive and be a good person but I feel like I'm guilty and hated and not appreciated or wanted at all.

Dano420 · 2022-11-21T16:28:46+00:00

Before I settled down with one woman and we had a daughter together, I did really well with women, given my level of physical attractiveness. I'd say I'm about a 6, maybe a 7 in a nice suit. I mean, I'm barely above average.

But I found that the the less I really tried, the better I did.

I'm no player, or relationship expert, and I don't believe in alphas and betas, but I also don't believe in the concept of "leagues". I've been with a few women that were definitely more attractive than me, but I've never felt like a particular woman was out of my league. I've dated down a few times, too, for sure, but I never settled out of desperation.

I think one of the main reasons men are afraid to approach women is out of simple insecurity. When a woman rejects us, we tend to take it personally, as if she's making some deep comment about our worth as a man. When you get rejected, it shouldn't even upset your plans for the rest of the day . The truth is, you probably just aren't her type. Men have types, too, of course. If a woman who is clearly not your type approaches you, what do you do? Take her home out of some sense of duty? Or do you politely tell her that she's just not your type? That's all a lot of women are doing.

If you can at least appear to be a man of reasonable intelligence and emotional maturity, you should have no problem getting women to date you. Like I said, the less I tried, the better I did. Women can smell desperation on a man a mile away. They don't want a man that needs a woman. They're not here to raise your childish ass. When you seem to be aloof and interested in yourself first, women can see that you're just as well off without them, and paradoxically, that is attractive to them.

Men, have you ever noticed that you get more attention from women when you already have a girlfriend, than when you don't? It's crazy. I've had women flirt with me while holding my daughter in my arms. There's something about being out of the game that makes women want to try to get with you. Maybe it's because you've lready demonstrated your value to one woman, so that counts as a pass to other women? I dunno.

Also, dating is just a numbers game. Cast a wide net, as they say.

I am definitely not most women's type, but I'm a few women's type, somehow. Even if only a half of one percent of women find you attractive, that still leaves a LOT of women out there for you.

Royal_IDunno · 2022-11-21T19:43:53+00:00

I can see why

MegaAlex · 2022-11-21T20:14:27+00:00

I'm a social person, but approaching a girl in order to get with her is different than just chatting. I know some guys are pro at it, but it's also a huge risk socially.

patriotraitor · 2022-11-21T20:19:15+00:00

Most men don't want to come off as creepy, or even reading something wrong.

Thanks to the metoo movement, you have guys that don't even try because of the fear of allegations.

NoCSForYou · 2022-11-21T21:19:13+00:00

My friend once gave me a pickup line and told me to talk to some girl. I used the line, she laughed and I realized I had no idea what else to say.

Im so embarrassed about it still. I awkwardly walked away immediately after while keeping eye contact.

I honestly have no idea what to say after hi.

SuspiciousGrievances · 2022-11-21T22:06:42+00:00

Yep, and now they all mad about the environment they created that makes all the icky bad men stay away.

Marvinkmooneyoz · 2022-11-21T23:43:06+00:00

Im not scared, just cautiously prudent

RobNine · 2022-11-22T03:41:02+00:00

Define scared? I just don't because I can't be bothered talking to someone who has more air between their ears than thoughts.

almostadaddy · 2022-11-22T04:23:50+00:00

This leaves the field free for those of us who are not.

Irish_Caveman · 2022-11-21T17:51:06+00:00

Definitely not scared. Just absolutely not worth the hassle or nonsense they bring to anyone's door. Especially Irish women. Train wrecks

pappo4ever · 2022-11-21T18:44:15+00:00

I actually chat with women once in a while, but she has to be someone very special. That has not happened in more than 10 years. If not, then the cost/benefit equation simply is not there. Risk is too much, I take absolutely nothing from the chat, except time lost.

Yes ladies, we are scared. Whatever, leave us alone. We know you are desperate to chat with 100 guys that give you free time and resources, while you fuck your boss or the gym trainer.

Spare_Development615 · 2022-11-21T19:00:28+00:00

Step 1 - Invite the whole world with mass immigration to boost GDP and taxation

Step 2 - Cringe when Pradeep and Manmeet shoot their shot

Step 3 - Enact a bunch of stupid draconian laws like "no staring allowed" aka "Keep your dick in your pants Manmeet"

Step 4 - Have a socially fucked up country where nobody talks to each other and everybody's contemplating hari kari. Declare a "loneliness pandemic."

Step 5 - The rich globalists at the top pocket the money and fly to Beijing and pull the same shit there.

pillchangedmylife · 2022-11-21T23:44:52+00:00

Don't worry.. Big recession on the way .. stiff competition that will require brutal levels of work and effort to survive... The girls will run back .

Imdefender · 2022-11-21T21:04:30+00:00

good for them

Maxlifts · 2022-11-21T23:18:44+00:00

Im a (semi gods looking) bartender in a very popular bar in my city. I actually went viral a year ago for stopping a (admittedly way to aggressive guy) from creeping on a girl. I have 0 problem “chatting up women”, but only when I’m behind the bar, and they approach me. In this way, I can asses her attitude and tone, and judge whether or not it’s appropriate to chat her up. I am rather successful talking to women this way. When I am on the “civilian” side of the bar, I pretty much never approach women. Even at the bar I work at. Even thou I would never say anything that I think is inappropriate, i do t get to make that call. The woman does. So it’s not that I’m “scared” to talk to women, but without the reassurance that being the “cute bartender” brings me, it’s simply not worth the risk of being filmed, put online, exposed, and having my life ruined by trying to talk to the wrong girl, and saying the wrong thing. I blame cancel culture, and the small percentage of gross toxic men, and hyper feminist twitter for this. The most extreme 5% on both ends made it hard for the rest of us to not feel like we’re talking in eggshells.

Gunslinger1925 · 2022-11-22T03:27:05+00:00

What a load of horse shit. I follow the path that women don’t owe me a damn thing and I don’t owe them a damn thing. I’ll chat with my peers, but it’s strictly casual or work related, and I don’t flirt. If I chat with someone outside of work, it’s strictly casual.

I’ve probably had women flirt with me, but because I’ve withdrawn, I’m likely missing it and not reciprocating outside of a noncommittal “thanks”.

Then again, I don’t really care as I’m not looking for anyone or anything. I’ve found a desire to pursue a more simplistic life… just haven’t figured out how to fully make it happen and actually take the plunge. Then again, I’d probably be content traveling in an RV or converted van, or on a sailboat.

timurhasan · 2022-11-22T01:09:43+00:00

This is super misleading and I think most of the people upvoting this garbage (going by upvoted comments) are just looking for an excuse to pick on women.

This is survey on 1000 people, hardly a big sample size. And it is only of users of a dating app "happn" which I hadn't heard of until today; so not even close to the general population.

Can I get you a drink was deemed the most appropriate chat up line by (48%), followed by: you’re looking very beautiful today (26%).

This line screams that they survey consisted of super cheesy and formulaic lines and had people choose the best one, stupid stupid survey.

EvidencePlz · 2022-11-21T15:00:32+00:00

Three quarters won’t approach a romantic interest for fear of saying the wrong thing or in case it is inappropriate.

Believe it or not, if these three quarters of men approached their romantic interests and said the following lines word by word: "Hey I'm extremely sorry to bother you but I feel I have romantic interest in you but I have fear of saying the wrong or inappropriate thing. It'd make my day if you could tell me what you'd like me to say and I'll repeat it back to you", they would get what they are looking for. Yes there would be some rejections but approximately on the 10th attempt something should be happening.

How do I know? Cause I've approached and told women things way worse than that and got laid within 2 hours lol.

lover_of_lies · 2022-11-21T13:58:16+00:00

75% of men are betas. This sifts the wheat from the chaff. People who get laid still get laid. Take this as a wake-up call to man up and start talking to women, and I say this with all the compassion I can muster. Those that call you a creep ain't worth obsessing over. One out of ten will make you smile, but you have to get to ten in the first place.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-11-21T16:33:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bullinach1nashop · 2022-11-21T20:28:53+00:00

Is that all

kandroid96 · 2022-11-22T10:43:22+00:00

Yawn Anyway......

sabazurc · 2022-11-22T12:29:06+00:00

I always say, when young, if boy of legal age is a virgin take him to hooker or something, will solve this issue just fine, at least confidence part.

Planimation4life · 2022-11-22T20:22:13+00:00

I think it's simply down to rejection, nothing happens unless you try.

I used to approach women a lot i think i did over 4000+ maybe 6000 approaches in daytime over 3-4 years and not once was i called on by the police or some random person approached me and asking me what i'm doing, and no women ever physically hit me. I'll literally say "excuse me i just saw you from over there "point" and I thought you really nice so wanted to say hello"

Strigon_7 · 2022-11-24T07:35:36+00:00

Its an unfair characteristic to attach saying afraid, why would anyone willingly walk through a clearly labelled minefield to get something they want. I'd much rather keep my legs and dignity

Title	75% of men are too scared to chat up women
Author	Kagedeah
Upvotes	976
Comments	318
Date	November 21, 2022 1:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/z0z6y8/75_of_men_are_too_scared_to_chat_up_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/75-of-men-are-too-scared-to-chat-up-women.1140731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140731

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