As a man, can you be interested in sex but not relationships?

Davegvg · 2023-02-27T00:51:19+00:00

Sure, you can completely be into relationship-less sex. Can you get it though?

Not likely if you are honest up front, it's going to be difficult.

ManWazo · 2023-02-26T22:39:34+00:00

If you're confident and have style it can happens. Fwbs are harder to find than casual sex because not everyone that sleep with you will want to be your friend.

Unless you live in a small town at your parents home then yeah you won't have any chance.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-02-26T21:34:43+00:00

It's more difficult for a guy, but if you make a dating profile where you are honest about your intentions (you are not looking for a relationship) it can work. It may not be a seamless process bc life never is, but i have a lot of respect for men who are honest about what they want vs those who aren't.

vzmal · 2023-02-26T22:01:12+00:00

If you are a man who just wants hookups you have to be extremely attractive or already know a woman who’s interested and is attracted to you.

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-02-27T03:36:23+00:00

Yeah it's plenty doable. I hope you don't mean actual average ( overweight and such) but yeah.

Here's what I find, a lot of women are not upfront about the fact that they're actually perfectly fine with it but...

They don't want to advertise that, draws too many creepers
They don't want a guy who says it up front either. They assume worse than the actual case if it's right in a profile.

That said, you don't portray yourself as looking for marriage or serious only. Then you feel it out as you go.

Every FWB I've ever had started with at least the possibility it could go somewhere and we both decided that wasn't really the route.

One recent one I just told her, all my recent relationships have been open. She said she doesn't do that, but kept doing it...for a good while.

Another I have now just kind of developed that way. We aren't looking to move in together, we aren't looking to get married, and after having that established we just kind of said alright , whatever. If you're satisfying her needs it just keeps going.

I have two now that so far have actually worked as being one way open...they don't have a bunch of time on their hands and I'm as much as they need. No rule, just works out that way.

Plus an ex that just shows up wanting to hook up fairly regularly.

Neither are threatened by her ( ex for a reason) They aren't threatened by each other because I'm 100% consistent and don't favor or prioritize.

Then whoever else I happen to start seeing here and there. ( Or sometimes women the one Fwb introduces me to or hooks me up with or hooks us both up with)

I'm open to something real developing but I'm not pigeonholing everyone I meet into that role or none.

That said, just be honest if that's the case but it's still best to wait on explaining it.

If she's adamant about something serious only, just leave her alone. Women that aren't, don't really harp on it or ask.

Hard to express accurately what I'm trying to say but hopefully that helps a bit.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-27T17:15:18+00:00

Regardless of gender, plenty of people are be interested in sex and not relationships.

0DarkFlirty · 2023-02-26T22:23:58+00:00

How feasible is it for an average guy?

By definition if you are a guy who is successful casually dating you are not average.

ex.) Maybe you look average appearance wise but your charisma and presence are on point.

ex.) You work with a lot of women at a restaurant and everyones just hooking up with each other and lots of girls get to know you and like your personality even if you just look "average".

Dweller_of_the_Abyss · 2023-02-27T02:11:52+00:00

How feasible is it for an average guy? How do you look for it? What
qualities do you need to have? From a womens point of view, how do you
view a guy which is kinda only interested in having sex?

As a male virgin, I want a "Sexual Relationship" with a person who also finds me sexually attractive. If a female does not find me sexually attractive and also doesn't share any common interests or compatible insights/values/expectations; then there is no "relationship" to be interested in.

Lanzienator · 2023-02-26T23:23:51+00:00

Hi OP! I'm a woman who has a few FWBs but despises hook-up culture. It took me a long time to find guys who were genuinely respectful and kind who I could trust.

You're doing the right thing being honest upfront. I like how you say you're looking to grow as a person. That's a perfect detail to have on your dating profile to signal to women that although you are not interested in a relationship, you have emotional intelligence. This helped me find "the good ones." They had info in their profiles about how they weren't looking for a relationship but they were looking to grow and have new experiences with fun, adventures and likeminded people.

As far as looks, since I know folks will ask...I'm dating 1 guy you would definitely call a Chad, but not the others. One of my longterm FWBs is short, bald and has a beer belly and a below-average dick. And he's divorced with kids. He's bisexual but he does very well with women, he's usually dating a few at a time. I think he does so well with women because he's so enthusiastic, and a very generous lover.

Anyway, good luck OP! I will be cheering you on.

lolthankstinder · 2023-02-26T22:16:42+00:00

I think a period of casual/sexual exploration is a vital step towards appreciating future romance beyond just sex, but many men (mainly average and below) are denied this phase which freezes them in a perpetual state of sexual fixation. Women, on the other hand, have had or can easily get casual sexual exploration and, thus, are able to move on past that phase resulting in an overall disconnect in sexual/romantic maturity. Consequently, at great frustration to women, many men must experience their phase of casual sexual exploration while simultaneously looking for serious relationships.

Teflon08191 · 2023-02-27T02:05:27+00:00

Don't declare you're not interested in relationships. Most men can't pull that one off and still get sex. Don't straight up lie and say you're totally open to a relationship when you're not either. The trick is to find a nice morally gray middle-ground between the two.

xzpw · 2023-02-27T01:35:56+00:00

Feasible for an average guy? Down near impossible.

How do you look for it? Probably join your local poly community and set your standards for well below average looking women. (Poly people are known fuggos - it’s bad, son.)

There’s no issue for some women for a guy who only wants sex. However, you both need to be on the same page.

I’ve had sex with women where there’s an agreement that it’s just sex and nothing else. (I’m a below average looking guy but I set my standards through the floor for these gals - also sometimes you get lucky btw)

Anyway - just be upfront and honest and realize it’ll probably never happen. You’re looking for unicorns.

Swordfromthecement · 2023-02-27T03:02:58+00:00

It’s a lot harder for men.

I hope you’re already this type of person (cause I hate implying that a man should change his personalities and hobbies to get laid) but if you aren’t my recommendation is to go to lots of concerts, bars, clubs and raves. You’ll probably have a better chance of casual sex in those scenes.

Putting that you just want something casual on Tinder is not a good idea. Much better to keep it vague, and go on cheap dates that involve alcohol/drugs as fast as you can with your matches. Lower your standards. Work out.

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-02-27T13:49:38+00:00

The sure fire way to do it is hire an escort, only chance someone catches fefe's is gonna be on you.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-02-27T14:16:41+00:00

Absolutely! I see escorts regulary and enjoy the sex. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one however.

therealcosmicnebula · 2023-02-27T19:19:12+00:00

Hire sex workers.

Yall kill me wanting to have casual sex but being opposed to paying for it. 🙄

Xxranger567 · 2023-03-03T11:19:47+00:00

Most men are only interested in casual sex

Different_Weekend817 · 2023-02-26T22:00:36+00:00

Idealy I would be looking for a FWB.

you mean a fuckbuddy, right? cuz fwb means you're friends first with the added luxury of sex, like you're actually friends in this situation.

How feasible is it for an average guy? How do you look for it?

it's very feasible if you have female friends. but you don't want that, right? it's primarily just a shag? well i used to fuck a lot of women i worked with in the restaurant/bar industry. great place to meet young and single women. easier than a dating app if that's what you're thinking.

This-Adhesiveness-52 · 2023-02-26T22:59:53+00:00

Bad news for you buddy. There no such thing as free love for men in general. We will alway’s be slaves because it is the women who decide who they gonna fuck and not the other way around.

Unless you are famous, rich or attractive as fuck it will cost you lots of time, money and game to convince any women that sleeping with you will be worth her time. Women have endless choice when they feeling the desire to fuck on a night out. Lots of men will try their best shot. The competition on the casual sex market is very high. It is even more costly to pursue casual sex then prostitution.

Dating is very expensive, the time and money it will take you to go to all these party’s where you most likely find sex orientated women is expensive, if you get some numbers it will take a lot of expensive dinners, gifts and effort from you for these women to give you sex.

It is not affordable to persue casual sex. In the end it will alway’s be cheaper in time and money to just pay a good looking prostitute to sleep with you. You might have been lucky a lot in high school where it was easier to get close to women in an enviroment where they have lots of free time to have fun but in the real world these women have to work a lot and there free time us scarce.

dank_summers · 2023-02-26T22:19:37+00:00

You just have to lower your standards, if you are truly average then youd end up with mostly below average women which usually means they are fat.

LordPeppino · 2023-02-26T22:11:15+00:00

How feasible is it for an average guy?

If you're open to fuck ugly woman, pretty easy.

But if you have a stomach, then chances are really low. Normal looking women have many filters for average guys, so unless you rely on illegal practices (for example: waiting for her to be drunk enough) or immoral (exploit a vulnerability), then you have to play the relationship ritual.

You have to be outstanding in some area, not average, to bypass those filters and be the exception for some woman to get casual sex.

That's why the redpill advice is hit the gym, make money and learn game. You won't get casual sex as average Joe.

2023-02-27T01:05:40+00:00

Sex isn't part of a healthy lifestyle.

For your stitch, keep lust at the front of your mind and you are bound to run into a girl who is doing the same. Have fun boy.

1stevercody · 2023-02-26T22:36:59+00:00

Yes, men can absolutely be interested in sex without a relationship.

Don't give any of the "you better be rich or hot" comments much thought. Sure, that would help, but it's not a deal breaker. Do this:

Put yourself around women. Not In a creepy stalker way, but if you're going to catch fish, you need to be near water.

Focus on what women like about you specifically. If you're average looking but a good dresser, dress nice. If you're funny, make them laugh.

Be patient and accept rejection. If you're expecting sex without a relationship, there are going to be women that turn you down. Most people want a level of trust, at least to feel safe that you won't hurt them.

I like the comment to work in the service industry. Those people get it on all the time. Go work part time at a bar or restaurant.

EVS040901 · 2023-02-26T21:48:36+00:00

Something similar happens to me. I do feel sexual attraction towards women. Just like 98% of all men do. But, for some reason, I have never been interested in dating or having a relationship. They seem to be tiring and time-consuming. So, yes. You can feel sexually attracted towards women and not be romantically interested in them. It's actually more common than we think.

Clear_Jump9922 · 2023-02-27T00:09:33+00:00

Yes, but ambiguity has to be your friend if you don't want to outright lie. My anecdotal experience says that women are more likely to imagine a future past an NSA hookup, so even if you don't want to lie, you have to create a future in her mind. Future faking is what this is mostly known as.

My advice would be to keep your intention hidden until she makes hers known first. I've always claimed to want a relationship (sometimes real and sometimes lies), but I've only ever been wrong ONE time, and that's because she was already in an LTR and just want a fwb.

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Safinated · 2023-02-26T22:22:04+00:00

Obviously yes

Sofia_sticated91 · 2023-02-26T22:29:32+00:00

Just from the title, yes. It's what I have been doing for 8 years

TheCultOfGrogg · 2023-02-27T02:38:48+00:00

Most guys are lol. Men with experience with women really only want relationships for easier sex. It’s the guys who don’t know how women are that project onto women this “Honey, I’m home” type of Al Bundy fantasy life that doesn’t really exist.

womandatory · 2023-02-27T03:12:06+00:00

Sex is part of a healthy relationship, not a healthy lifestyle.

There’s nothing wrong with seeking casual sex, but make sure anyone you have sex with knows that’s all you want.

KDOX_ · 2023-02-27T03:39:12+00:00

I’m more interested in a relationship than sex.

Stunna4Yerks · 2023-02-27T03:50:42+00:00

Yes as. of now I have no interest in a relationship with a Western woman. Although I am approaching the point that I want a family, it's too dangerous to find a wife in the western world who can take half of my wealth I've worked hard to accumulate. Can't adopt as I want children with my genes, so I think I will find a wife in south america.

But back to the topic as far as western woman, my only desires with them right now is sex, as a high value man it's not too hard to come across. But even now I'm taking a break from that and mostly focused on my business and growing it to new heights.

MistyMaisel · 2023-02-27T04:16:22+00:00

I appreciate the honesty, at no point in my life was I open to fwb. Relationships only. Real relationships. I'd appreciate your honesty and let you know it is a pass for me, but if I knew any ladies looking for this, I'd give them your number.

Me personally , I think the entire fwb thing is gross. But, who am I to stop you.

SteveSan82 · 2023-02-27T05:05:04+00:00

Of course. In fact you shouldn’t Even consider an LTR until you are in your late 30s.

Avoid older women as they really are delusional when it comes to just wanting sex. They will sleep with you and then have a melt down when you don’t want to see them again or only want to see them to hookup

Karmanger · 2023-02-27T09:01:21+00:00

This is the question that will inevitably lead to PUA.

The simple answer, date around until you meet a girl that is interested in a Fwb situation.

You are ultimately asking how to be attractive. Women like men with an attractive lifestyle(big),personality(big) and looks(flexible if the other 2 are good). If you’re great at sex and can cause them to orgasm then they have a reason to have you as a fwb.

wtffellification · 2023-02-27T10:12:11+00:00

What qualities do you need to have?

You need to be fucking pathetic, not overly autistic probably and have a functioning dick. That's pretty much it.

FWB is basically masturbating in someone else's company in an attempt not to feel so alone

ArmDiscombobulated29 · 2023-02-27T13:25:24+00:00

Uhh yeah duh

cl1p5 · 2023-02-27T17:33:03+00:00

Twenty four you should be chasing college freshman’s to seniors. It gets easier at 27

CombinationUsed7938 · 2023-02-27T19:33:50+00:00

Yes, happens everyday.

Then you apply your values into reality: you either do it or not, according to your relationship status and how you see sex and relationships.

social_mule · 2023-03-01T00:32:05+00:00

Yes.

I am a man.

I am interested in sex.

I am not interested in relationships.

DestroGamaDx · 2023-03-01T22:15:25+00:00

Im going to be real blunt. You're going to have to lay some serious pipe and personality to get a girl hooked to you. Before that you're going to have to get her hooked on seeing you. Make as many interactions with her positive.

You need to make her curious about you and how you do that is experience. Share experience and knowledge but not your full story, smell amazing get a little personal as time goes on, then start giving her compliments. Dont stop seeing other women during this.

The goal is to make her want the experience with disregard to the future. I have more tips that are nsfw. Sadly you're gonna have to walk the tightrope of relationship or not. If she gets confused just come clean that you're really comfortable with something casually intimate at the moment. One of the most important rules is don't answer a question until its asked.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-03-02T04:04:26+00:00

Most men I know are in situations like this

Enough_Chemistry3258 · 2023-03-03T23:17:08+00:00

You can but it wont work out unless youre so hot they HAVE to have a piece of you. Thats their mindset. Dudes who only want sex regardless of reason are looked at as creeps. Doesn't help that some actually are creeps lol.

ImNotRickJames_Bitch · 2023-02-27T12:09:19+00:00

Women have to eat. I don’t understand how dudes say they can’t get a date.

Find a bitch you like, buy her food. Then have a normal conversation. Date night.

Title	As a man, can you be interested in sex but not relationships?
Author	GimmeThoseCaps
Upvotes	16
Comments	179
Date	February 26, 2023 9:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11ct5rd/as_a_man_can_you_be_interested_in_sex_but_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/as-a-man-can-you-be-interested-in-sex-but-not.1153233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153233

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